The last two weeks went by in a haze. When Brooklyn and I weren't hanging out (or making out in his Mustang), we talked from sun up to sun down, about everything and nothing at the same time. We danced around his kitchen to old 80s music and laughed as we kissed each other. It was all so surreal in fact, that I was starting to wonder if I dreamt the whole thing. I knew I wasn't dreaming though, because every time we kissed, the taste of him lingered on me for far too long afterwards. I felt like I had some semblance of a life, and it invigorated me.

A deafening scream coming from Nikki's room knocked me off of my cloud. I jumped out of bed and went scrambling down the hall to my sister's room. My heart was in my throat, my hands trembling as I slowly pushed Nikki's door open.

"Nikki?" I called. Clothes and shoes were strewn everywhere.

"Fuck," another scream came from Nikki's bathroom.

"Nikki what's wrong?" I asked, weaving my way across the room.

Nikki hovered over her sink, her shoulders heaving up and down as strained breaths came from her tiny frame. My eyes widened when I saw chunks of golden locks splayed all over the sink. She turned to face me, her eyes puffy and red as fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She had more hair clenched between her fingers.

"Look at this shit!" She cried again, gasping and heaving in between words. She collapsed onto the plush pink rug, her wails echoing off of the walls.

I crouched down and pulled her into a tight embrace, feeling her tremble underneath my arms. I saw small patches of scalp peek through strands of blonde. Tiny little pieces fell into my lap every time Nikki shook her head.

A lump formed in my throat as I struggled to find the words to say. I'm sorry and it'll be okay didn't seem like enough. It was like one more nail in the coffin. The ultimate, undesirable trademark of any cancer patient.

I didn't know how long we sat huddled on the floor of Nikki's bathroom, but I saw her room start to darken as the sun set and dusk sent rays of moonlight through her bedroom windows.

"We need to do something about this," I said in a hushed tone. Nikki shook her head and buried her face in my shoulder.

"No," she wailed. "No! I'm not ready."

I shook my head as I untangled myself from Nikki's grip. I padded down the hallway to the guest bathroom and fumbled through the medicine cabinet until I found what I was looking for.

Nikki's eyes widened as I returned to her bathroom and plugged the buzzer into an outlet by the sink.

"We are not shaving my head!" Nikki whined. The few moments without tears were gone, and more came spilling from Nikki's bloodshot eyes like a waterfall.

"So you're just going to walk around with straggly chunks of hair and tiny bald spots everywhere?" I asked. "You'll start looking like that Cynthia doll that Angelica from Rugrats used to carry around."

"Cynthia was a hot bitch, okay? Don't be a hater." Nikki huffed and crossed her arms.

I chuckled as I positioned her so that her back was against the sink, and whatever hair she had left spilled into the basin. I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"I promise, we will get you plenty of cute hats and wigs," I reassured her.

Nikki sniffed. "I want pink hair." She wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve. "Not like hot pink because that's tacky, but like pastel pink."

I chucked. "Pastel pink it is."

I switched the buzzer on and took a deep breath .

"Well don't shut your eyes too!" Nikki pinched my arm.

"What difference does it make?" I shrugged. "It's not like I can make a mistake, it's all coming off."

Nikki giggled in between her sniffles. "Just get it over with." She shut her eyes tightly and covered her face with her hands.

Most of Nikki's hair came off easily. My heart clenched as her blonde hair went tumbling piece by piece into the sink. I felt like a part of me was getting sucked down the drain with Nikki's hair.

After it was all over, Nikki trudged back to her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Streaks of tears still stained her cheeks. She hadn't even bothered to look in the mirror.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No," Nikki said, her voice muffled behind her blanket. "But what difference does it make? It's over and done with."

I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes, but I wouldn't dare cry in front of my sister. It would only make Nikki feel guilty, and there had been enough emotional overload for one day.

I squeezed her arm one more time before leaving her room, gently shutting the door behind me. When I got back to my room I flopped onto the bed, letting the few tears I had been holding back flow freely down my face.

I had two text messages notifications waiting for me. My heart dropped when I opened them.

BROOKLYN: Sorry I have to dip on our movie tonight. Have to help my dad with some stuff.

There had been 20 minutes between texts.

BROOKLYN: I'll make it up to you I promise.

I groaned and rolled over onto my back, watching the ceiling fan spin in such a fury it looked like it could come careening off its screws at any moment. I could have been more upset about it, since it was the second time he had pushed back our movie plans, but the way my heartbeat pounded in my ears drowned out any rational thoughts I had. I heard Nikki's voice in the back of my head chirping, it's not rocket science. It's just a boy. I was starting to think rocket science might have been easier than trying to figure out Brooklyn Keller.

NATALIE: no problem, ttyl

When Nikki sat down at the kitchen table with red hair - a shiny, vibrant, red that she piled in her usual messy bun - Aunt Mel stared at her, as if a total stranger had just sat down with us for dinner. Even though it had only been a day since we shaved Nikki's head, she had bounced back. Her resilience made me envious.

"Of all the beautiful colors in our world, you chose vermillion?" she grinned with a dramatic wave of her hand.

"Aunt Mel, it's red," Nikki said with an eye roll. I tried to swallow a laugh. It was obvious by now art gene had skipped Nikki, and she had instead inherited my father's apparent "they're all blue I don't see what the difference is" gene, according to Aunt Mel. When Nikki and I had gone to the wig store, she vehemently refused "normal" colors. We bought pink, lavender, pastel blue, and apparently, also vermillion.

"Besides, I've been blonde my whole life," she continued as she wrinkled her nose. "And black hair makes me look like Matilda."

This time a full bodied laugh came out of Aunt Mel. "Better Matilda than Leeloo from The Fifth Element."

"Lee-who?" Nikki snapped.

"Not Leewho, Leeloo," Aunt Mel sputtered out between laughs, and eventually the three of us were cackling like hyenas, holding our sides with tears in our eyes. Moments like these were too few and far between since we moved. I wanted to bottle it up in a jar and keep it for when I needed it.

"I have exciting news," Aunt Mel said as we were clearing the table. She pinched her lips together, like she was trying to hold in her excitement for the sake of us.

"Oh yeah?" Nikki perked up.

"There was a last minute withdrawal from the Furman Gallery showing at the end of June, so they want to replace it with my On The Bay series." She paused and finally let her smile shine through. "Obviously it goes without saying that I'd love for you two to be at the showing with me."

"This means I get to buy a new dress!" Nikki squealed in delight.

I listened from what felt like a distance as my sister and my aunt went on about dresses and parties and champagne, I felt the knot in my throat dissipate and something else bloom within me. Something hopeful.

"That's great Aunt Mel." I returned her smile. "I'm really happy for you."

Nikki jabbed me in the side and gave me a coy smirk. "Hey, maybe you could bring Brooklyn as your date."

I pinched her elbow, causing her to squeal. "Shut it," I hissed.

"Is that the guy I met at the hospital?" Aunt Mel asked with the faintest twitch in her eyebrows. It prompted a snicker out of Nikki.

"Yeah, it is," I shot a pointed look at Nikki. "But don't get any ideas. We're not dating, we're just hanging out."

There was a pause, and I caught sight of Nikki out of the corner of my eye, still grinning.

"Well maybe you can just hang out at the gallery, then," Aunt Mel stated plainly, but her and Nikki traded scheming glances. "I'm sure he's nice."

"Oh yes, he's very nice." Nikki jabbed me in the side again, her grin widening by the second.

"Alright, alright." I held my hands up in defense. "If I ask him, will you two conniving creatures leave me alone?"

"Only after we go shopping," Nikki insisted.

"For what?" I bit back. "You literally have 500 dresses."

"And you have like none. If you're doing this, you're doing it all in."

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