CHAPTER ONE- SO ARE YOU JUST GOING TO SIT THERE LIKE A MOURNING DUCK?

"Look. You're just going to have to accept this. I know it will be hard but look at the bright side..."

I stood there trying to console my best friend, April, and I was certain that I wasn't doing a very good job of it-possibly worsening her mood at the moment.

"There isn't a bright side to it is there? Nobody knows for certain if he's ever going to come back or if he's just going to...die there without me!" She sobbed, just coherently enough so I could make out what she was wailing to me about.

April was my everything. She was my only family ever since mum and dad passed away and seeing her like this was upsetting me too. The person who was always there for me when i needed her the most needed me right now but I was helpless.

April was on the verge of depression and there was nothing I could do about it. She had finally bothered to eat ever since I told her that Ezra would hate to see her like this but even that was a stupid thing for me to mention. It wasn't exactly what you would call a smart move.

Ezra Nightingale. He was everything you would ever want in a boyfriend. He was sweet, charming, funny and just the whole perfect boyfriend package really.  A perfect man for my perfect best friend, who was currently in shambles over the mere thought of him.

"See Camilla! Even you can't think of anything to say because you know its true! The stupid government had to recruit him to serve in the war! People as young as us are going out of the country to serve in the war! They're expected to leave their family and friends just because this messed up country doesn't have a God damn army! All they care about is budget cuts and increasing taxes. They don't care that they're risking precious lives; lives of mere teenagers who are the next generation and teenagers who would have so much to offer the world if they weren't shot down by bazookas before that."

Her shouting and cussing, that soon came after her rant, yanked me out of my thoughts and now I realised that as she wiped the tears and snot off her face, she was angry. Fuming.

Realising that April could have hurt me or herself in the process of ranting, I decided to snap back at her. You may have realised by now that I wasn't a very smart person. Never shout back at an angry girl, who could potentially break your nose-but I was raging and couldn't think straight after what she had said. He could die.

"Look April! Get a grip on yourself! I've known Ezra for as long as you so even I'm affected by it! It's not like any of us can do anything about it!" I snapped.

At this point my hands were trembling with anger and I'm pretty sure that my blood pressure was increasing by the second.

"At least you've got somebody to tell you that they love you every single day! At least you've got the family that I've craved for ever since mum and dad died! At least your life is filled with people you love every single day and you don't have to lay in bed with the worry of nightmares every single time you try to get some sleep. Nightmares of how your own parents died and their final moments."

I hadn't realised that by this moment in time, tears were flowing out of my eyes like Niagara falls after a storm. I only realised when April walked up to me and wiped my tears away. I was shaking all over and goosebumps filled my bare arms that summer's day. And with saying that, I left the room and slammed the door shut behind me. Then reality hit me.

I had just left my best friend to cry all by herself about her boyfriend who was getting ready to go out to war. I was inconsiderate enough to compare my situation to hers and make her feel guilty about her problems. I made her problems feel small and unimportant but they were important. I had gone through a lot but that doesn't mean that her problems didn't mean anything.  Realising my mistakes and mumbling profanities under my breath, I turned around so I could return to her room only to see that she was standing right behind me with her arms out wide, ready to hug me. I jumped into her arms almost strangling her, my arms snaking around her neck. I chuckled to myself as I let go of her, my face still tear stricken. 

It took some time for the both of us to calm down but when we did, we ordered some Indian takeout and completed our homework until I realised that once again April was sitting crossed legged on the furry, pink rug in the corner of her room and tears had once again gathered in her eyes. I hated this helplessness of mine. I really did but that didn't mean that I couldn't act like everything was perfectly fine...right?

"So are you just going to sit there like a mourning duck or are you actually going to make use of yourself?" I asked placing my hands on my hips.

April smiled. I smiled.

"That's it! No more crying now! We have to get you a dress for the country saver's ball next week! Come on then, get up." I threw an oversized jumper on.

And with saying that, April's smile faded again.

The country saver's ball was a mini prom for all the girls in school to say goodbye to their boyfriends and all the guys to say goodbye to their 'bros' but what I was really expecting from this ball were tears, tears and a tad more tears. A tad was the understatement of the century. It'll probably be packed with hormonal teenagers with £200 worth of make up applied all gone to waste because of crying rivers. I wouldn't have been surprised to see the country savers (the mere teens who were going to be sent off to war) crying too. I mean, they were literally going to the battle field unaware of if they were going to return in one piece or not. Obviously I wasn't going to remind April or Ezra of that...

April was stuck to her position with that unreadable blank expression; I didn't know what was going through her mind.

"Cam, I can't go. I really can't. I don't think I'd be able to say goodbye to him. We've been together for five years and not once did it ever cross my mind that a day would come where I would have to say goodbye to him, possibly forever. And nowadays I'm waking up fearing for the worst. I don't like this fear. It really hurts me to think that I will be here relaxing and he'll be fighting against the enemy, risking his life."

Now I knew- she was in pain and knowing April, she needed some space at this time or she'd explode. Without another word, I hugged her tightly making it known that she would forever have me to offer support and love and left her alone to recollect herself as well as her thoughts as I left the room shutting the door behind me as I left. 

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Driving around at lunchtime was the worst. I finally got out of the traffic after being amidst honking drivers, all afraid of any attacks that could have happened like the bomb which was planted a week before. We were all desperate to get to our destinations as quickly as we could but nobody acknowledged the fact that we needed common sense (something they were lacking) if we wanted to survive during this third world war. Well then, I guess common sense wasn't that common anymore.

As I turned into the car park to enter the shopping center so I could sit at my usual coffee shop and continue reading the book I was currently enjoying, I thought of plan and a very good one may I add. I felt like an evil genius ready to take over the world or something! But then again, my plan was something only a genius could think of. Insert self conceited smirk here.

Smiling like a freak, I parked my car on the second floor of the parking lot and I quickly yanked my keys out of the ignition. I stepped out of my car and headed towards a fancy looking shop with a French name that I couldn't dream of pronouncing but what I could pronounce was the word BEAUTIFUL. I abruptly stopped to stand and stare. The large windows of the shop had gorgeous dresses displayed for shoppers to admire; half of these shoppers couldn't have afforded those elegant dresses in a million years. I stared in awe at the dresses displayed in front of me, luring me in with their glitz and glamour. But one particular dress caught my eye and stood out the most. This was it.

It was a long, strapless ball gown with the chest area embroidered with beads and sequins and it had a long slit starting from where the mid thigh would be. This dress was perfect. Absolutely perfect and which better person would look stunning in this other than April? I could just imagine her in this dress. Her perfectly toned body had curves in all the right places and the colour of the dress would complement her skin tone perfectly. Perfect, perfect, perfect. April was so perfect and then there was me. I wasn't jealous but like any other girl even I wanted a special someone to call me beautiful. Unfortunately, looking like me wasn't helping this whole situation of trying not to be single. My mentality of hating being single was a little bit stupid of me since I knew that if a guy was interested in me, he would only be with me for the money, which I'd soon be inheriting legally from my parents and that situation is one that I could never prepare myself for.

Memories of my parents came flooding back and I tried to keep my tears at bay as I made my way towards the entrance of the shop. I took a step forward only to have a towering figure bump into me from the side.

I felt a rock hard chest meet my cheek making the person flinch a little. It was a guy. I took in the strong smell of Lynx body spray as he took a step back placing his hands on my shoulders, trying to steady me. With a quick mumble of "sorry" in a slightly different accent-possibly American-leaving his mouth, I was brought out of my day dreaming and did what was so Camilla to do.

"You idiot! Watch where you're going, moron!"

I waved my arms frantically but he didn't even bother responding and he ran! I was sure that he could hear me shouting at him even though he was running. Although I'd have liked to believe that I scared him away, I was almost certain that he was just in a hurry hence why he bumped into me so rudely.  

I managed to catch a glimpse of of the hoodie that he was wearing and saw that it was ripped from the elbow. I didn't want to but I kind of did pity him. He seemed like he was in a rush and he seemed like he was...well poor. I thought so because I had never seen anybody wearing a hoodie in the middle of the summer. My first thought was that only a person with very few clothes would settle for wearing something like that. Even from a distance I could tell he was muscular. Perhaps my age too as I  caught a quick glimpse of his face before he shot off but I didn't get to completely take in his facial features in order to recognise him about town and educate him on how to travel around a shopping centre.

Still slightly taken aback by what had just happened, I entered the store.

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"Thank you for shopping at Les paradis des robes, Madame." The fancily dressed man said to me with a smile, handing me the bag with April's dress packed neatly inside it.

"Gracias, monsieur!"

As I said that he frowned but soon enough his lips slightly quirked up into a smirk. It was then I realised that I used Spanish to say thanks instead of French. Facepalm.

"Si hablas espanol entonces deberia Haber dicho! Pero intonces no intente hablar Frances por favor." he replied.

Meanwhile, I stood there with a confused expression.

 I already felt so under-dressed in my baggy sweater with my favourite band's name written across it, my plain black leggings and then my worn out converse but then to top off my rubbish look right now, there was the feeling of being so left out as all the shoppers conversed with each other in different languages. 

Women wearing pearls and men in suits and ties were the only people surrounding me. This place was too fancy for my liking so I gave a weak smile to the sales clerk and walked out. Shoppers were probably staring at me, thinking of how a tramp like me was buying a dress worth £3000 but I left them wondering and walked off with confidence that I had become used to faking almost my whole life now. It usually did the trick.

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"Can I lay by your side? Next to youuuu?!" Sam smith played on the radio in my car and I sang along. His voice was so soothing and was what everyone deserved to hear after a long day.

The problem was that if anyone found out that I, Camilla Parkerson was listening to a sappy love song then my reputation, which I built over all the years of high school would all go down the drain. No joke. The people at school think of me as Camilla Parkerson -the girl who kicked the basketball team's captain's butt. As Camilla Parkerson-the girl who got all the top grades without even bothering to revise. As Camilla Parkerson- the girl who rejected the modelling offer I got in year nine because I already had enough money but most of all CAMILLA PARKERSON- THE PERFECT RICH GIRL. I kind of wondered how everyone would react if they found out about the real me.

A bang snapped me back into reality and I was shocked out of my thoughts when I was slammed against something hard, a flat surface. Blood. I saw blood on what I thought was the windscreen, trickling down the clear glass. I felt a sharp pain go up through my leg and tried to see what was hurting me so much. I couldn't. My vision was slowly blurring along with my hearing slowly fading. I could hear voices, shouting I think, in the distance before my eyes were about to shut . What was happening? My eyes were slowly shutting now and I felt like I was falling into unconsciousness. The last things I saw were the airbags popping up and the top of the seat which I was meant to be sitting on. I thought I had figured out that I was in a bad situation; a bomb blast.

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WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

YAYYY MY FIRST UPDATE!! IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING THEN PLZ VOTE SO I CAN WRITE MORE FOR YOU GUYS! I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN GET ABOUT 20 VOTES BEFORE I UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER SO THAT IK THAT PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY WANTING TO READ THIS...OR IS THAT TOO DEMANDING?

SOO LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN! THIS CHAPTER WASN'T THE BEST BUT I PROMISE MY NEXT CHAPTER IS BETTER WRITTEN SO BYE FOR NOW! ...HOPEFULLY...

ALSO, THANKS WHOEVER IT WAS FOR MAKING THE COVER ABOVE, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT BUT SORRY BC I FORGOT WHO

update 2: looking back on this in august 2018, I cringe at my writing but whatever, it worked for 12 year old me and people enjoyed it then so who cares right? *cringes into the corner of my room*