do you care if i don't know what to say?
will you sleep tonight, will you think of me?
will i shake this off, pretend it's all okay
that there's someone out there who feels just like me?
there is
- boxcar racer, "there is"

Gray was disappointed but not surprised to see the text from Natsu when he finally made it back to the apartment. He sighed, pouring himself another cup of coffee and then heading to the living room, where he slumped down on the couch and tucked his legs up underneath him.

He pulled out his phone again, typing up a response to Natsu. You gonna be okay? What the hell had Natsu been thinking? If Gray hadn't texted him, that guy could have taken him home and... well, Gray didn't want to think about that. He flipped back to his contacts list and hovered over Lucy's name.

Hey, it's Gray. Is Natsu okay? Gray knew that Lucy had a much longer and more involved friendship with Natsu than he did, but Lucy hadn't picked him up last night while he was drunk and drugged. He seems out of it. I'm kinda worried about him.

He didn't receive any response, but he figured she was probably busy with Kaden. Gray sighed, running his fingers through his slowly-drying hair. His shoulder throbbed with a mild ache – swimming usually strained it, but his physiotherapist said it was good for the muscle.

A trilling ringtone sounded from the tablet on the coffee table, and Gray picked it up, realizing someone was Skyping him. He smiled, swiping to answer.

"Uncle Gray!" His niece Sylvie appeared on the screen, dark hair wild and messy, face sticky with some sort of food. "Mangé crêpes pour déjeuner!" Gray laughed.

"I can see you had pancakes for breakfast, coco," he replied in French. "You have syrup on your face!" She stuck her tongue out at him and he returned the gesture. "What are maman and papa doing?"

"Papa cleaning," she replied, dropping the tablet and then setting it on the counter again. Gray could see Ultear in the background, rounding up the other kids.

"Bonjour, Gray!" she called out, grabbing a piece of Lego away from baby Félix and placing him in the middle of the living room. "How are you feeling today?" Gray considered the question.

"Pain's about a three right now," he said finally. "I just got back from swimming. Otherwise... maybe a five?" Ultear looked concerned, settling down on the floor next to Sylvie and peering at Gray.

"You were doing a lot better earlier in the week," she said, frowning. "What's going on?"

Gray hesitated. He'd been doing these check-ins with his sister ever since he had moved back into his own apartment a few months ago. He was generally honest with her – she was a social worker and had seen a lot of worst-case scenarios, so he didn't feel like she judged him too much. Gray just wasn't sure how much he should say about Natsu.

"I'm worried about my friend," he said finally, chewing on his nail. Happy jumped up onto his lap and meowed at him, much to Sylvie's delight.

"The guitar player?" Ultear asked with a raised eyebrow. Gray blushed. He hadn't meant to let that detail slip – he was happy to tell Ultear about his friends, but not necessarily his crushes. He nodded, though.

"I..." Gray tapped his fingers against his leg. "Can Xavier take Sylvie for a minute?" Ultear nodded, motioning at her husband. Sylvie pouted, but waved at Gray and giggled when he blew her a kiss. When she was out of the frame, Gray sighed. "I had to pick him up last night," he said. "He's underage, he must have a fake ID and went drinking and got..." He paused for a second, uncertain of the word for 'roofie' in French. "Someone put something in his drink."

Ultear kept her face neutral. "Is he okay?" She asked. Gray bobbed his head back and forth uncertainly.

"I'm not sure. I brought him back here." His cheeks flushed bright red. "It was three in the morning, I didn't know what else to do. I gave him some aspirin and water... he was pretty much unconscious when we got back here anyway." Gray stroked Happy's head and Happy purred appreciatively. "I was swimming when he woke up. I left him a note but he just took off."

"Do you know if he's safe now?" Ultear asked. Gray shook his head.

"I dunno." He hesitated. "I've been driving him after group, but he always gets me to drop him off at a café or something. I don't think he goes home at night."

"What makes you think that?"

"He's always wearing the same clothes, and sometimes he just looks... like he hasn't brushed his hair or shaved or whatever. I dunno what's going on at home for him, he never talks about it." Ultear nodded. "He's all over the place, too. When I first met him, he was practically bouncing off shit and wouldn't shut up, and then the past few days he's been sad and angry and snapping at people."

"Those do sound like troubling behaviours," Ultear said, giving Gray a contemplative stare. "I'm not a psychiatrist, but it sounds like something might be going on mentally. Sometimes those kinds of illnesses will cause people to take dangerous risks."

Gray thought of Natsu's wild eyes in the moonlight, of the abandoned pier, of gazing at the stars across the ocean.

His phone dinged suddenly, and he glanced down. Unfortunately, it wasn't Natsu – it was a response from Lucy.

I haven't heard from him since group yesterday, she said. He gets these moods, Gray, it's happened before. He'll tell you about it when he's ready.

Gray sighed, rubbing his face. He didn't want to tell Lucy about last night – Natsu would probably be pissed if he did – but he was also scared of it happening again. Why did it seem like he was the only one that was concerned about this?

"What are you thinking about?" Ultear asked softly, and Gray glanced back up at the tablet, blinking.

"His other friends say he gets moody like this and it's normal for him, but... I'm worried he's gonna do something stupid."

"You can't save him, Gray," Ultear cautioned gently. "No matter how much you care for him." Gray felt himself blushing again, but he glared at her stubbornly.

"I'm not trying to save him," he insisted. Happy meowed in agreement. "You keep telling me to meet people and make friends, and I am. And now I think my friend is in trouble and I want to help him."

"Why don't you ask him to do something else this evening?" She suggested. "Something safe, that will keep him out of trouble, so to speak." Gray sighed.

"I think he's embarrassed," he replied sadly. "Right now, he's not even answering my texts. I don't think he wants to see me."

"I don't know if there's much you can do, then." Ultear stood up and moved to a chair, balancing the tablet on her knees. She looked tired.

"Yeah," Gray said, stretching his shoulder out again and wincing. "I dunno. Maybe he does go home, maybe he's fine. I guess I don't know him very well." He took a sip of his coffee and sighed. "I'm probably just worrying for nothing."

"You're a good person, Gray," Ultear said, smiling at him. "You care deeply for other people. It's your best quality." Gray looked away from the screen, not sure what to say. "Thank you for trusting me with this." Ultear's voice was soft and sincere, and it made Gray feel strange. "It means so much to me."

"I should get going, I have to work this morning," he mumbled. The affection in her voice made him feel uncomfortable, and he wasn't sure why.

"Not a problem," Ultear said. "Are you coming over Tuesday evening? Sylvie has been asking for you to watch Frozen with her again." Gray laughed, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Tell her I wouldn't miss it," he replied.

"See you then. Bonne chance, je t'aime."

"I love you too," he said quietly, feeling very alone as the screen went dark.

__________

French Translations
Mangé crêpes pour déjeuner! - Ate pancakes for breakfast!
Coco - sweetheart
Bonne chance, je t'aime. - Good luck, I love you.