i'm gonna give all my secrets away
this time i don't need another perfect lie
- one republic, "secrets"

Gray made French toast for breakfast while Natsu sat on the counter, pestering him with questions while he moved around the kitchen. He handed Natsu a cup of coffee, then began stirring eggs and milk together while the pan heated.

"Now that you know all about my shitty childhood, am I allowed to ask you about yours?" Natsu teased. Gray looked uncomfortable. "I'm kidding," Natsu assured him, warming his hands on the mug.

"No, it's..." Gray sighed in frustration. "I don't... talk about things. Usually. But... I've seen shit you probably would rather have kept hidden." He began dipping the bread into the egg mixture and Natsu nodded. "So it's only fair."

"That's not how it works," Natsu argued, dumping another spoonful of sugar in into his coffee. He was still trying to get the taste of his new medication out of his mouth. "You don't owe me answers." Gray placed the bread in the pan and sprinkled it with cinnamon. "Okay, how 'bout this. I ask, and if you don't wanna answer, then don't. I'm not gonna make you."

"...thank you." Gray's voice was soft, and Natsu reached out with his foot and poked Gray's leg with it. Gray reached down and squeezed Natsu's ankle gently, then returned to cooking.

"Okay, first of all, how can you afford a place like this?" Natsu asked, looking around in amazement. The first time he'd been here, he'd assumed it was Gray's parents' place, but he now had a feeling that Gray's parents – like his – were not in the picture.

"That's... complicated," Gray replied hesitantly, flipping a slice of toast. "And I would rather finish breakfast before diving that far into my tragic backstory." He turned and gave Natsu a small smile. "For now, let's just say my mom bought it for me. I do have a job, though – not enough to afford this place, but I do work."

"Where?" Natsu hopped down from the counter and grabbed a couple of plates from an open cupboard, setting them on the bar. Then he crouched down and scooped up Happy, who had ambled into the kitchen. Happy headbutted Natsu's chin and purred at him as he scratched the soft fur behind his ears.

"It's, ah... kinda geeky," Gray admitted, turning around and rummaging through the fridge. "I do in-game tech support for this French MMO called Galaxie d'étoiles." He set a container of syrup and a jug of juice on the counter by the plates.

"No way!" Natsu exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I love that game!" Gray looked up at him, surprised.

"But it's entirely in-"

"French, I know, I never have any idea what's going on and I have to use Google Translate for all the quests," Natsu replied, grinning. "I'm sure the people I group with think I'm an idiot. But it's free to play and they had it on the library computers, so..." Then he frowned. "Wait, how the hell did you get an IT position there? Don't you usually need like a degree or something?"

"Yeah," Gray said hesitantly, looking almost embarrassed. "My, um, my aunt is kinda the CEO of Tempête." Natsu's eyes widened. Tempête was a huge videogame company in Québec that made hundreds of popular games, including Galaxie d'étoiles.

"Your aunt is Ophélie?" Natsu asked. Gray nodded, shrugging his shoulders. "She was on 'Ellen' last year!" Happy, having had enough of the excitement, hopped down from Natsu's arms.

"We're not like, super close or anything, she lives in Québec and I've only met her a couple times." Gray spoke hurriedly, like he was trying to brush it off. "But she let me take a part-time position cause I'm pretty good with computers. The company is gonna pay for me to take the programming course after I get my high school diploma."

"That is awesome," Natsu said, hopping up onto one of the bar stools. Gray dropped two slices of toast on each plate, then returned the pan to the stove and joined him.

"Okay," Natsu said, sipping at his coffee. "That leads to my next question. Why are you twenty and finishing high school?" Now Gray definitely looked uncomfortable.

"I... missed some school," he said vaguely. Natsu raised an eyebrow. "A lot of school, okay? I just... let's eat." Natsu nodded, and they both dug into the toast, eating in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"So, you're French?" Natsu asked eventually. When he'd heard Gray singing at the hospital, he'd realized that he would have been much more likely to pay attention to French class in junior high if he'd known how hot it sounded when Gray spoke it.

"Francophone," Gray corrected. "But yes. French is my first language, actually."

A thin line of syrup ran down Gray's fork and onto his hand, and he absently brought his fingers to his lips, licking up the sticky mess. When he stuck his thumb into his mouth and drew his tongue over it, Natsu suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Y-your, ah... p-parents are from Québec?" Natsu swallowed hard, unable to take his eyes off Gray's lips.

"Mhmm," Gray replied, looking at Natsu curiously. He sat down his fork and wiped at the syrup dotting his sleeve, then gave up and pushed it up to his elbow, exposing the tattoos that Natsu had seen the other day. "You okay?"

"Food is really good," Natsu said quickly, shoving another piece of toast into his mouth and looking away to avoid Gray's skeptical stare. His gaze landed on a photo pinned to the fridge – a dark-haired man and woman, each smiling widely. The man was holding a tiny boy, no more than two years old, who Natsu immediately identified as Gray. "Is that your mom and dad?"

Gray glanced over to where Natsu was looking, and a sad expression crossed his face.

"That was at our house in Montréal," he said. "They... ah, they died when I was five." Natsu looked up at Gray. The unspoken question of what happened lingered in the air between them. "Car accident." Gray said it matter-of-factly, but his voice was sad. "I miss them a lot." He unconsciously ran his hand over his forearm, and Natsu took a closer look at the tattoos – two large snowflakes, and one smaller one.

"Is that for—"

"Yeah." Gray smiled, running his finger over the delicate lines. "Maman used to call me her little snowflake." Natsu suddenly felt like the world's biggest idiot.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he apologized, embarrassment twisting in his chest. "I didn't realize- I won't call you that—"

"It's fine," Gray interrupted, reaching out and touching the back of Natsu's hand. He didn't make eye contact, but he smiled wistfully. "It doesn't hurt. When you say it, I mean." Natsu's stomach fluttered, and he slowly turned his hand until their fingers were resting against each other's palms. "I think they'd understand."

"Does your sister have the same tattoos?" Natsu asked. He'd met Ultear briefly in the hospital, but most of it was vague memories. Natsu brushed his thumb across the back of Gray's knuckles as Gray shook his head.

"Ultear's not my biological sister," he replied. "I was an only child. When my parents died, my mom's best friend – Ultear's mom – adopted me." Gray looked up, and Natsu could tell that Gray saw right through his unspoken question. "She's not around anymore either."

"Jesus," Natsu whispered, shaking his head.

"I told you it was a tragic backstory," Gray replied, half-jokingly. "I don't mind talking about my maman and papa, but, ah... I don't want to talk about my mom right now. Is that okay?" He squeezed Natsu's fingers, then withdrew his hand and returned to his breakfast.

"Of course," Natsu replied, using the last bit of his toast to soak up the pool of syrup in the center of his plate. He tried to think of a more neutral subject. "When did you move here?"

"Five years ago, after mom died," Gray replied. "Ultear was old enough to get custody of us, and she just wanted to leave all those memories behind."

Natsu didn't miss the use of 'us' instead of 'me', but decided to let it go. When Gajeel had mentioned Gray's brother, it had earned him a broken nose, and Natsu preferred to avoid that fate. Gray would tell him when he was ready – about his mom, his brother, whatever happened with Erza and Gajeel, and whatever it was that put him in so much pain all the time.

As if reading his mind, Gray excused himself for a moment, returning with a handful of pills that he tossed into his mouth and chased down with the rest of his coffee.

"Do they taste as bad as mine?" Natsu joked, hoping to hell that Gray wouldn't shut down on him – not now, when Natsu had been getting real, genuine answers out of him. Gray looked hesitant, then set down his coffee mug and shook his head.

"Nah." He chewed on his bottom lip. "I just get the occasional headache. And this." He held out his left hand, palm-down in front of him, and Natsu could see that it was trembling noticeably. "Nothing serious."

"Weird," Natsu remarked. "Is it always like that?" Gray shrugged.

"It started maybe... two months after I started taking them? It doesn't bother me much." Gray must have recognized the curious expression on Natsu's face, because he continued speaking. "They're for the nerve pain in my shoulder." His voice was guarded, but he sat back down and rested his feet on the opposite stool, leaning his calf against Natsu's.

"Can... I ask?" Natsu's throat felt dry, and he grabbed his coffee mug, disappointed to see that it was empty. "Or, I mean, if you don't wanna-"

"I don't," Gray replied, looking down at his hands. He sighed. "I know... I'm not... the easiest person to get to know." He flexed his fingers a few times, then rubbed his palms along his sweatpants. "Me not wanting to talk about this doesn't have anything to do with you." Natsu swallowed, feeling his stomach twist.

"It's oka-"

"It's not." Gray's voice wasn't angry, just discouraged. "I know I have trust issues, I don't need my therapist to tell me that." He tapped his fingers against his knees, refusing to look up. "But I have a good reason. And I promise, I will tell you one day. I'm just... not ready." Gray looked up, and Natsu was surprised to see the beginnings of tears in his eyes. "I'm already letting you in as much as I can."

"Gray," Natsu breathed, standing up and pulling Gray into a hug. Gray didn't resist, just pressed his forehead into Natsu's shoulder and sighed. "It's your story. You owe me nothing." Gray let out a puff of laughter, moving his arms up to rest loosely around Natsu's waist.

"Thank you," he whispered into Natsu's shirt, then lifted his head and rubbed his face with the back of his hand. "We, ah, should clean this up." Natsu nodded, but he noticed that Gray's other hand was still resting lightly on his hip. "I was gonna tell you, I talked to Mira and she said we could both do group this week via Skype from here."

Natsu blinked. He had completely forgotten about group – or had perhaps assumed that they wouldn't let him back in because he had failed in the most obvious way possible. The thought of seeing everyone made him feel sick. Even Lucy and Erza visiting in the hospital had made him feel so ashamed that he'd barely spoken to them.

"Hey." Gray tugged on the hem of Natsu's shirt to get his attention, and Natsu's eyes darted back down to Gray's face. "It's okay. Erza and Lucy already know, and so does Cana. Gajeel is going to play nice or he's gonna regret it." Natsu laughed a little at that.

A loud, sharp rapping at the door interrupted their conversation, and Natsu was puzzled to see Gray's eyes widen in fear.

"Gray?" Natsu asked, puzzled. Gray's face had gone pale, and his breath was coming out much sharper and quicker than it should be. The hand that was resting on Natsu's hip had tightened enough that it hurt. "Gray? What's going on?"

Gray stared at Natsu like he wasn't there, terrified gaze unmoving. Natsu shook his shoulder but the only response was a soft whisper of he doesn't know where I live, repeated over and over again. Natsu heard the knock again, and then Erza's voice, calling out for them.

"Just a minute!" Natsu shouted, reaching up and tapping Gray's cheek tentatively. "Gray, snap out of it." He hesitated, eyes dropping down to Gray's tattooed wrist. "C'mon, Snowflake." At the nickname, Gray's eyes fluttered closed, and when he opened them again, they were trained on Natsu. "There you are, Snowflake. You're okay."

Natsu ran a thumb over Gray's cheekbone, and Gray exhaled sharply, leaning into Natsu's touch for a moment, then jerking backwards.

"Sorry," Gray whispered, cheeks flushed pink as he tried to stand and nearly knocked the stool to the ground. "I'm sorry. I gotta, um, the door." And then he was gone, dashing through the living room and leaving Natsu at the counter, wondering what the hell had just happened.