i don't hate you, boy, i just want to save you
while there's still something left to save
- savior, rise against

Gray had a theory that that hard, orange plastic chairs in the emergency waiting room were designed as a very specific form of torture to discourage anyone from ever seeking medical help. He had found one in the far corner, away from the coughing and sneezing and feeling of sickness that permeated the room. Gray couldn't stop thinking about Natsu, and how still he had been, lying on the stretcher.

After an hour of swiping numbly through Reddit on his phone in an attempt to distract himself, Gray heard his name being called, and looked up to see Ultear darting towards him. He felt the tight ball of stress and grief loosen in his chest a bit, and when she sat down next to him and pulled him into her arms, Gray let out a sigh of relief.

"Gray," Ultear murmured, placing a hand on the back of his head and stroking his hair. "Mon lapin." Gray didn't even have the energy to be annoyed by the childish nickname. Ultear smelt like vanilla and safety and home, and he felt himself starting to cry again. "Shhh, je suis là."

"J'ai si peur," Gray whispered into Ultear's shoulder. He was terrified. The longer he went without knowing what was happening, the worse it became.

"I know," Ultear replied, cupping his face in her hands and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Have your heard anything?" Gray shook his head. He shivered, and Ultear took off her sweater and laid it across his shoulders.

"There was s-so much blood." Gray's voice caught, and he raised a hand to his forehead, screwing his eyes shut. Ultear rested a hand on his shoulder consolingly, and he took several deep breaths, calmed by her presence. After Ultear's mother – Gray's adopted mom – had passed away, Ultear had pretty much raised Gray, and she had been with him through most of the worst moments of his life.

"I can't imagine what that must have been like," Ultear said quietly. Gray rubbed away a few stray tears with the back of his hand. "I want to help," she continued. "Do you know his last name? I'm going to try to contact his social worker and see what we can do about keeping him away from his guardian."

Gray nodded. "I, um, I gave them my information," he said, gesturing over to the triage desk. "I don't know his address or anything. I just... I didn't want them to call his foster dad." Gray rubbed his face. "He hit Natsu. His face... it's like one huge bruise. He beat him really badly."

Ultear sighed, squeezing Gray's hand. "Sometimes you do what you can to take care of people, even if that's not how the system wants it to work," she said. Gray nodded miserably. "Do you know how old he is?"

"Seventeen," Gray said. "He'll be eighteen soon, his birthday's in March."

Ultear reached up and stroked Gray's hair again, and he leaned his face towards her hand. He knew that twenty was too old to be cuddling with his sister, but sometimes she felt more like his mother, and right now he just wanted to be held. Ultear wrapped her arm around Gray and pulled his head down onto her shoulder.

They had been sitting like that for several minutes in comfortable silence when Gray looked up to see Lucy and Erza moving through the emergency room. They both looked exhausted, and Erza appeared to be in her pyjamas.

"Is he okay?" Lucy's voice was high and frantic, and Gray bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn't break down again – he needed to be strong now. He stood up slowly and Lucy threw her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. "Are you okay?"

Gray didn't answer, just returned the embrace and rested his chin on Lucy's head, giving Erza a sad, serious look. Her expression was grim, and she turned to introduce herself to Ultear, giving Gray and Lucy a moment.

When Lucy finally pulled away, Gray motioned for her to sit down next to him. She slumped down, rubbing her eyes blearily.

"I don't know if he's okay," Gray admitted honestly. "The ambulance took him back there... they said they're stabilizing him." He clenched his hands into fists and rested them on his lap. "I haven't heard anything since we got here." Lucy reached out to put a hand on his knee, but her eyes grew wide and she withdrew.

"Is that..." Lucy trailed off uncertainly. Gray looked down at the bloodstained knees of his jeans and realized belatedly that he should have asked Ultear to bring him clean clothes. He had washed his hands until they were raw, but had no way to get the blood out of his pants.

"Y-yeah," Gray stammered, and it hit him then that Lucy and Erza had no idea what had actually happened. "He..." Erza crouched down next to Gray, giving him a worried look. "Natsu t-tried... t-to... he..." Gray's stomach was in knots, and he felt the nausea returning. He took a deep breath. "He, um, he tried to k-kill himself." Lucy's heartbroken gasp almost set off his tears again. "I... h-he c-cut himself r-really badly and, um... he t-took some pills."

"You found him?" Erza asked softly, reaching up and touching Gray's shoulder. He nodded.

"I c-called the ambulance," he whispered, "but w-what if I was t-too late?" Fear crept up the base of his skull, and he kept his gaze fixed on his clenched hands.

"It's not your fault," Lucy replied, tears spilling from her eyes. She reached over and grabbed one of Gray's hands, squeezing tightly. "He's sick." Gray wanted to nod, wanted to agree with her, but all he could think of was how stupid he had been.

"I knew something was wrong," he whispered, thinking back to Natsu's erratic behaviour in the washroom this morning.

"Do you blame me?" Lucy's voice was soft, and Gray snapped his gaze up to hers.

"Of course not," he said roughly. "You couldn't have kn... oh." He bit his lip and looked down again.

"Exactly," Lucy said gently. "Nobody could have seen it coming. He's sick, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't taking his meds." Gray nodded uncertainly. He felt like he should say something about Friday's incident at the club, but wasn't sure it was appropriate.

"Gray, I'm going to go make a call," Ultear interrupted. "You should take a break. Go to the cafeteria and get something to eat." Gray nodded and glanced back at Lucy and Erza as Ultear headed out of the room, cellphone in hand.

"We'll stay here," Erza said, smiling gently. "Unless you want one of us to come with you?" Gray almost shook his head, then reconsidered. Lucy reached over and squeezed his hand.

"Erza can go with you, I'll be okay here by myself," she said, smiling. "I brought my book and my iPad."

"How did you get here, anyway?" Gray asked. Lucy looked both proud and slightly chagrined.

"I kind of... told my dad to go fuck himself," she mumbled. Gray's eyes widened. "I took Kaden and left."

"You what?" Gray felt equal parts impressed and terrified for her. From what she'd said in group so far, he pictured her father as someone you didn't want to piss off.

"Yeah, well, I'm tired of him telling me what to do," Lucy said stubbornly. "I called Loke, he took Kaden, and then Erza picked me up." Erza smiled at Lucy proudly.

"Good for you," Gray said honestly. "That must have been terrifying." Lucy gave a grim laugh.

"This entire evening has been terrifying," she replied, glancing down at her watch. "Never mind, we're into the morning already." Gray found himself yawning as soon as she mentioned how late it was.

Erza tugged Gray up, and the two of them headed off to find what would likely be the worst coffee they'd ever had.

__________

Gray woke up to Ultear's hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. He groaned, blinking and realizing that he had fallen asleep in the hospital chair. Lucy and Erza were asleep as well – Lucy leaning against Gray and snoring softly, Erza on the floor and resting against his legs. Ultear smiled at them.

"What time is it?" Gray groaned, nudging Lucy gently until she was no longer leaning on him. He winced as he sat up, trying to stretch his shoulder but feeling the a burning pain sear through his arm. "Osti de tabarnak de câlice," he swore angrily, earning him a look of unimpressed reprimand from Ultear. "It hurts and I'm tired, I'm sorry." She shook her head.

"You're an adult, I can't stop you from cursing anymore," she smiled. Gray managed to extricate himself from the girls, then followed Ultear out into the hallway. "It is three in the morning, to answer your question. Still no news?" Ultear asked as they walked down the corridor. Gray shook his head.

"I went up and asked once, they said he was still being stabilized." He sighed. "Honestly, I'm just... so tired." Ultear gave Gray a sympathetic look, then frowned at him rubbing his shoulder.

"Are you taking your medication?" she asked. He gave her an exasperated look.

"Of course," he replied. "I'm not an idiot." He was starting to think longingly of the painkillers he'd left at home. "It's manageable most days, just... stress isn't great. Being cold either. This is from sitting in that fucking chair."

Ultear looked sad for a moment, and Gray sighed.

"It wasn't your fault," he said, just has he had a thousand times before. "He would have found my address one way or another." Ultear nodded uncertainly. "Plus, I'm the one who opened the door." Gray shook his head before the memories could surface, and gestured at the hallway they had just turned down. "Where are we going?"

"I found Natsu's social worker," Ultear replied. "She's meeting us here. This is a... unique situation." Gray frowned. "Typically, you wouldn't be allowed to speak to her. All of this should be confidential."

They reached a room with the door propped open and slipped inside. A woman in her mid-forties with long, curly brown hair was sitting at the desk with a laptop open in front of her. She looked surprisingly well put-together for someone who was summoned to the hospital in the middle of the night.

"You must be Gray," she said, standing up and reaching out for his hand. Gray hesitated, still feeling the ghost of sticky blood between his fingers, but finally reciprocated and shook it. "I'm Richelle. Your sister was telling me about what you did for Natsu. You've been incredibly brave, and I can't imagine how scary this has been for you." She sat back down and adjusted a notepad in front of her.

Gray wasn't certain what to say. Between the fatigue, the terror, and the pain, he wasn't sure he was up for any kind of conversation right now.

"Richelle and I have been talking about options for Natsu," Ultear explained, pulling out a chair for Gray.

"I want you to know that we have attempted to investigate allegations of abuse against him in the past," Richelle said gently, tapping her pen against the notepad. "Our system is far from perfect. I want to help every young person that I work with, but unfortunately there are so many, and it's difficult to prove when these things happen."

Gray felt a flicker of anger in his chest – how could someone beating Natsu get overlooked? What more proof did they need besides the bruises on his face? But he knew from talking to Ultear that Richelle was right – the system wasn't perfect and she probably was trying her best.

"I have given him another option in the past," Richelle continued. "Once a youth in the system hits the age of sixteen, they can legally 'emancipate' themselves, but it requires that they support themselves without any government assistance."

Gray frowned. "Wouldn't that be impossible since he would have to be in school?" he asked.

"Exactly," Richelle said, nodding. "It is extremely difficult to be successful this way." She adjusted her glasses on top of her head. "However, he can remain a ward of children's services, which includes receiving a monthly allowance and other supports, if he finds an adult that we deem 'safe' that he can live with until he is eighteen."

Gray blinked. "So... he can just choose to live with someone else? Why hasn't he done that before?" Richelle looked at him sadly.

"He's never had anyone else," she replied. "He has no family, and no adults in his life that could take him in. He's been a ward of children's services for a long time." Gray's chest hurt. He missed his parents and his adopted mother every day, but at least he'd had them. And he'd always had a place to call home.

"The other complication," Richelle continued, "is that the hospital has discharge conditions."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, if they don't decide to commit him involuntarily – which I doubt they would do – then he can't be released unless he is going home to a responsible adult who will take care of things like medications, keeping him safe, and agreeing to keep an eye out for this kind of behaviour in the next few weeks."

"Commit him?" Gray frowned.

"Keep him in psychiatric care," Ultear explained. "Involuntarily committing happens when the hospital deems somebody unsafe to themselves or others." Gray swallowed. He hadn't even considered that possibility.

"Like I said," Richelle continued, "I don't see that as a likely outcome. The hospital doesn't have enough beds as it is, and if we can find a stable place for him to stay, then they will discharge him."

"So... have you found a place for him?" Gray's question was met with silence and he felt uneasy. Both women were giving him strange looks. "Wait a minute." Gray turned to Ultear in surprise. "You're talking about me?"

__________

French Translations

Petit lapin = little bunny (childish nickname)
Je suis là. = I am here.
J'ai si peur. = I'm so scared.
Je crois avoir trouvé une solution. = I think I found a solution.
Osti de tabarnak de câlice = colloquial swearing, closest equivalent would be "motherfucking shit fuck" but it literally means "holy host of the tabernacle of the chalice".
Québec French is really weird and all of our swears are based on Roman Catholicism, so there's no real direct translation but it's fairly vulgar.