You guys do know that the update schedule is supposed to be every three days and just because I love you guys so much I sometimes ignore that fact and update earlier. But I can't keep spoiling you guys(I'm sorry), I want to be consistent with updates and not make you guys wait for two months for the next update.

Also, I didn't want my non-Indian readers to feel left so I included a semi-Bollywood song with English Lyrics. <3  This song relates to Rudra so much. Just imagine him singing this song. </3. 

And anytime we reach the top 100's, I'll do a double update. I promise. 

CHAPTER SIX (part 1)

❝ It's sad, isn't it? She had to lose herself while guiding him back. ❞

∞ ∞ ∞

RUDRA WOKE UP in cold sweat. He was breathing hard. His dark eyes stirring with fear. The curtains of his room were drawn. Rudra resembled a man who had seen death. It was worse than that though. He had seen Adhira in a crash. A terrible crash where she resembled a broken Indian princess. The skies had been roaring, trying to stifle the flames.

She was dressed in gold- lifeless, bleeding. The blood was drenching her blouse- slowly slipping down her neck. The trail of blood created an intricate pattern on her pale skin. The dream was so vivid- Rudra had felt the flames, smelt the blood mixing with the gasoline- the fumes rising higher and higher like a phoenix.

"Dear God" He whispered to himself, raven strands of hair covered his eyes yet he couldn't shake the fear away. Trembling, he tossed the comforter aside and half ran/ half walked to his cellphone. It was on his study table, getting charged.

Before realizing what he was doing, he was dialing Adhira. The monotonous ring seemed to stretch on for forever. The blood rushing to his brain didn't want to hush down. She didn't pick up and he tried calling her several more times in a row.

She was probably sleeping. The clock was striking close to three in the morning. Rudra tried convincing himself that but it wasn't working. He slammed the drawers of his bedside table and grabbed the keys to his car.

After driving through the dead city, he finally reached her house. The neighborhood was quiet and he stood outside her house like a lost puppy. He walked around the sidewalk, desperately praying that her father wouldn't catch him lurking around at this hour. Rudra didn't want to admit this but he was terribly frightened of him. Adhira's father was a cop and not the friendly kind.

Breathing heavily, he reached the backyard- and tapped the window of Adhira's room. Several loud knocks later, she appeared at the window- tired and yawning. When she saw Rudra, she instantly snapped out of the little sleepy state she had been in.

She cracked the windowpane open- and Rudra helped himself inside her room. It was dimly lit-the stars were still shining in the cloudless night sky. The night air was cold and Adhira shivered slightly. She didn't need to reach for jacket because Rudra had her enveloped in his arms the next second.

The way he held onto to her- his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against himself. Skin against skin. He seemed dangerously feverish and stiff. Adhira ran her hands over his tense shoulders, feeling them stiffen further under her touch.

"Rudra, what's wrong?"

Few hours ago, everything was normal. They were talking on the phone- Adhira had joked about driving on the left-side of the road. Oh- suddenly it all made sense to her. He was still stuck on that.

"I'm fine." She whispered.

He pulled away- his eyes dizzyingly fierce. She ran her hands over his jaw- the gruffness of the few days old subtle made her want to pull away. The aura around him was tinged with fear. She felt his stiff arms, the muscles tightened.

"Rudra, I'm perfectly fine- "She didn't get to complete her sentence- his lips were crashing into hers. Fanatically, he held her faces – molding their mouths together, tasting her, breathing in her scent, her warmth, her nervous heartbeat, the goosebumps on her skin.

"God Damn- "He said- in the few seconds he let their mouths part. "Adhira, I'll die without you."

He kissed her face, her cheeks, the bridge of her nose- she was here, she was alive, she was breathing, she was warm, she belonged to him. Adhira was too much in a daze to say anything. Was it really possible to love someone so much? She would never know the answer.

Rudra held her hands- enveloped perfectly in his, he held them close to his chest. "Promise me, you'll be more careful."

"Rudra..." Adhira breathed out- her riveting eyes drinking in the handsome, worried man in front of her. The early morning darkness shielded the lovers from the cold, cruel world. It was safe here- they were safe here. Just the two of them. "If you're going to love me like this -every time I'm reckless, I don't know if I want to make that promise. "

"Kapoor," Rudra wanted to appear angry but the storm had passed, Adhira could see the teasing spark in his eyes. "Kill me already, why won't you?"

She laughed, the sound was something Rudra didn't know his mind had perfectly memorized- the way her lips curled upwards, the brightness of her eyes, the flush of her cheeks. Later when she would be gone, his mind would use this memory to torture him. Like a broken tape recorder, it would play this memory over and over again. Reminding him that he was the reason those eyes had lost their brightness and that laugh had lost its joy.

∞ ∞ ∞

  [Present]  

THERE WAS SOMETHING that had snapped inside Rudra when he heard the news. He didn't know what he was doing. All he knew that his Adhira wasn't okay. Rudra was a living, raging storm. The black tunic he wore- which made him resemble a black panther. With similar grace and strength, he stormed through the deserted hall.

What had he done?

"and being with me feels so wrong." Her voice broke- she could barely complete her sentence. It was painful to watch her utter the next words "After six years.... This is what you have to say."

Eyes brimming with tears watched him with hatred. Rudra knew in that moment that their brighter days would always be tinged with this dark memory. It would never go away. This memory of him breaking every part of her. He had killed her right there, right then.

What followed next was just the physical manifestation of her emotional state? Had the accident not happened would he even realize how he had destroyed her?

The celebration was eerily silent. Everyone in the hall was staring at Rudra- not daring to approach him. The young man was drunk on anger. He was angry at himself, the world- the circumstances he had broken her heart in. His parents stepped down the stage- his father was quick to run after him.

"Hold it right there." He shouted- the usual friendly demeanor of the old man was shattered. Mrs. Shah shifted nervously beside- like a nymph, she gripped Mr. Shah's hand tightly. She didn't want the men in her life to create a scene in-front of the entire Indian community. The ladies already had enough reasons to ridicule her. It was bad enough that her son's name was linked to the likes of Adhira. She didn't need them to make matters worse.

Sasha, like a goddess in red, stood timidly beside her parents. She was completely oblivious to the situation. All she knew that Rudra was her good friend, childhood friend. He was someone she wouldn't mind spending her life with him.

Mr. and Mrs. Shah had informed her parents that Rudra had a crazy, ex-girlfriend. Adhira seemed crazy alright. What kind of girl would interrupt the engagement of her ex? Couldn't she see that Rudra had moved on? Sasha absolutely hated girls like Adhira who had no self-respect. Why sink to that level for a man? Being an independent business woman, Sasha prided herself for thinking by the mind before her heart. It seemed like Adhira was the kind who put her heart above everything.

"Dad... I have to go. Adhira- "

His father's eyes darkened at the mention of her name. "I know." He muttered under his breath before throwing an accusatory glance at Aditya. Aditya met his father's gaze squarely back. Unlike Rudra who never said a word against him, Aditya had never been afraid to go against him. He knew his parents were wrong. Rudra seemed to be blindfolded by their love to see any faults.

"Dad, she needs me."

"It'll only take few minutes." Mrs. Shah stroked her son's arm. Rudra stared at her, confused- his eyebrows drawn together. He knew that his parents weren't on the best terms with Adhira but this was too much. For God's sake, she fighting for every breath right now.

"Just complete your engagement with Sasha then you're free to go wherever you want."

Aditya moved forward, aggravated. They were going to brainwash him again. "Bhayia, don't listen t-"

Rudra held up his hands. Dark. Dangerous. Rebellious. Demons were lurking in every corner. The mask was finally falling off their faces. He smiled- it was a smile that chilled Mrs. Shah to the core. This wasn't her son- no, this wasn't the boy she had raised and fed. He wasn't her Rudra who blindly obeyed her every word as though it were stitched from gold.

He met her gaze- no trace of respect, their gaze clashed ruthlessly. The warmth was replaced was by an ice cold layer of hatred. No cracks in this layer. "You disgust me." He finally spit out.

She moved back. Mr. Shah couldn't have been more furious. "Rudra, apologize this instant."

Rudra didn't respond. He didn't have time for this. Turning his back towards, he strode towards the exit- only to be stopped. Mr. Shah gripped the collar of his black tunic. "You're not leaving, Rudra."

He gripped his father's hand. It was the first time- they were standing against each other. Anyone stopping him from meeting Adhira was his worst enemy. He didn't care if that man was his own father.

"Try me." Rudra jerked his hand off his collar. "I dare you."

∞ ∞ ∞

DEBBIE WAS EXPLAINING to Rudra that Dr. Kapoor had requested his presence, not his assistance. Rudra had already gone to the doctor's lounge and changed into his scrubs. Debbie, the senior nurse, usually was kind, gentle with Dr. Shah but today, she was feeling nervous and exasperated. The emergency room was busy as ever and Dr. Shah's insistence on scrubbing in the operation wasn't helping.

"Dr. Shah, you can always help with the other patients."

Rudra scanned the room, his dark eyes determined and cold. "I am not needed. There are plenty of emergency residents who take care of them."

Debbie wore long purple socks which were beginning to slid down knees. It was already freezing today and the skies outside were roaring louder than ever. She understood that the patient inside was very dear to Dr. Shah but that still didn't explain the craziness he was ensuing.

"I will ask Dr. Kapoor for permission."

Rudra ran a hand through his hair, mussing them even further. He was beginning to feel tired from the formalities and arguments. He honestly didn't give a damn if he was given permission. Adhira was his woman and no-one was stopping him. He followed Debbie to operation theater.

She looked over her shoulder, her lips drawn into a tight line. "You do realize the consequences of your actions."

"Yes." Rudra replied, he knew Raj wouldn't dare to kick him out during an operation. The repercussions of his action would stab him later but he was ready to face them.

"Going against your senior could have your license suspended."

"Debbie, please." He finally met her gaze and she saw the broken man behind the coldness and irritation.

She sighed. To be young and to be in love. The reckless nature of the loved ones wasn't something new to her. After all, it was what she was constantly surrounded by. She expected better from Dr. Shah- he always calm and collected. Colder than any of the senior doctors.

The man did have a heart, all this time. She smiled at the irony of the situation. The most logical doctor she had seen in her life was making the most reckless mistake. 

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Much love <3