Wait, I haven't already posted this?!?! Why tf not!?!?!?!

This is actually several months old. I wrote this in- *squints at the date on her phone* July of last year. And it's February. Wow. Older than I thought.

I had this spinner thing with different names on it and was spinning it and uh...

Guys, welcome to Kevin/Inkvin (currently Kevink is winning, so place your votes below). DS Ink x Kevin, aka Nightmare's pet immortal chicken.

Side note, be prepared for an onslaught on prompts in the next few weeks because I have caught a bad case of 'Lack-of-Stupid-Ideas' (Yes; that's its official medical term fite meh) so I adopted a metric shit-ton more of Fire's prompts. I'm sorry, but actually not.

And I'm not posting any of them until at least half of them are done

DreamSwap

- However Ink and Kevin met is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is: it's a match made in hell.

- Ink has actually made it a habit to give Error bags of high-quality chicken feed whenever they hang out. Which isn't often so Ink makes sure they last a while.

- Dream wonders why Ink is always broke when he's pretty sure he pays the artist adequately. Because he doesn't just get chicken feed for Kevin, and Ink is never going to admit that he secretly admires a chicken.

- Ink would totally have plans to adopt Kevin if and when they get rid of Nightmare (Worst case scenario)

- In Outcome B Ink would probably chicken sit for the MemeSquad. At every possible chance. They'd come back to Ink trying to get Kevin to sit on his lap or something. And Kevin would just not be having it, preferring to make Ink suffer.

- If anyone says anything about it he will deny it harder than Nightmare denies the fact that Santa doesn't exist. Because he can't feel emotions, why would he be attached to a filthy chicken?

- Oh, but Ink loves that chicken. Probably because Kevin causes havoc frequently and Ink can admire and relate to that.

- Kevin is a chicken, so what he thinks of Ink is unknown but it's thought that he's grateful for the food. Of course, chicken scratch is hard to translate so maybe not.

- At some point Ink might get the bright idea of giving Kevin some of his paints (no body's been poisoned by them yet-it should be fine, riiiight?). Depending on which one Kevin might become super affectionate, lazy, or angry. And god knows how terrifying an angry rooster is.

- And that's how the end of the world started-

- Nightmare would pretty much loose his pet in Outcome B. Which is probably for the best because one day Kevin was going to accidentally murder him or his non-chicken friends while he 'greeted' them.

- Cross is oddly offended that Ink thinks a chicken is a better companion than he is but he gets over it pretty quickly

- Before either WCS or Outcome B, Ink might (on rare occasions) let the Meme Squad go in exchange for letting Ink hang out with Kevin. Naturally not in the Meme House, but Error insists Ink has no ill intentions (without outright stating that Ink keeps giving them the chicken feed because he's a nice boi) so Cross and Nightmare go along with it

- It usually ends with Nightmare being like "Okay I'm beginning to be concerned about Ink's mental state. We need to go before he decides to keep Kevin forever." Ink knows better than to try and extend his meeting with Kevin.

- These events never go beyond the four skeletons or the chicken. Only Ink, Kevin, and the Meme Squad know of the weirdness that is Inkvin.

- In WCS, Dream would probably wonder where Ink got the chicken, but would definitely figure it out once A). Kevin outlived the average lifespan of your typical rooster, or B). Dream sensed the weak negative aura Kevin has due to eating a negative apple.

- Then they'd have the awkward conversation of why Ink adopted Nightmare's chicken while said chicken is pecking affectionately at Ink's chin from his position in Ink's loving arms. It would probably go something like:

Dream: Ink where'd you find that chicken?

Ink: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kevin: bu-caw! *Translation: Oh so you're Mr. Glowy Chicken Wings.*

Ink: *in an oddly affectionate voice* Kevin shut up

Dream: Kevin?

Ink: Yyyyeeeeeeeesssss?

Kevin: Caw! *Translation: Hey, I'm Kevin, not you!"* *Kevin pecks Ink's chin for emphasis*

Dream: ...

Ink: ...

Dream: Wasn't that Nightmare's-

Ink: You will never make me get rid of him so don't even ask. And don't try to take him from me either.

Kevin: Cluck *Translation: Damn right.* *Kevin ruffles his feathers importantly*

Dream: ...Okay then. So long as he doesn't get in the way of your work.

Kevin: Bu-CAW! *Translation: Great. Now, Ink PaY aTtEnTiOn To Me* *Kevin repeatedly peaks at Ink's chin to get his attention.*

Ink: Yes ok I hear you. I'm getting your food.

Dream: *As Ink walks off with Kevin, looking happy* Of all the things he might get attached to, he chooses a demonic chicken.

- Ink would probably take Kevin everywhere with him. Except on his missions, but only because he doesn't want him or his targets to accidentally hurt Kevin. It gets to the point where Dream has to actually ask Ink not to bring Kevin to serious meetings and conferences.

- But only high-level serious meetings, because for some reason Ink seems to be less inclined to be a sarcastic asshat when his feathery friend is sitting on his skull. Like that unspoken rule that when your dog or cat is laying on you, you don't move.

But of course I have to find a way for Ink and Kevin to meet so lemme do that real quick-

- The most likely scenario would be Kevin escaping the Meme House and finding his way into another AU (because he's obviously a magic chicken). JR might get a call about a chicken screwing shit up (traffic jams, stealing food, etc.) So Dream's like "Ink you can handle a chicken right?"

- At first Ink's pissed that he's being sent out to catch the bird instead of making chicken nuggets, but Kevin finds him first. He's probably running from an angry store owner (eating the merchandise or something; idk memes) and trips Ink somehow because that how all the best relationships begin—Also chickens are fairly big and you can trip on just about anything if you're not paying attention.

- So yeah. Ink is (get ready to puke) suddenly struck by the beauty of the natural disaster that is Kevin-the color of his feathers, the way his heterochromatic eyes shone with intelligence, his sharp talons that are probably very painful, the—alright I can't bullshit this, I'm sorry. Suffice it to say Ink instantly recognizes the same penchant for trouble that he himself has. But Ink knows to restrain himself, whereas Kevin is an animal and knows no bounds.

- So JR keeps the chicken for a while as they search for Kevin's owner-because Kevin is too well fed to be feral. And Ink runs into a guy in a totally inconspicuous cloak who tells him a totally inconspicuous glitchy voice that Kevin is his pet. And Ink totally isn't suspicious buuuut since Error-I mean, the totally inconspicuous stranger-isn't on JR's wanted list he gives Kevin over. With a few treats. And maybe small bag of chicken feed. And possibly a toy or two he made. And gives the feathery terror a couple of loving pats before the totally inconspicuous stranger leaves.

- And from then on Ink gives Error bags of chicken feed whenever they chill together.