Hai guys, I hope you enjoy this chapter, this is not like most chapters I write.

TRIGGER WARNING

clue·less

ˈklo͞oləs/

adjectiveinformalhaving no knowledge, understanding, or ability.

synonyms: oblivious, unaware, unmindful, insensible, ignorant, unobservant

Students are clueless, teachers are clueless, friends and family are clueless, even your parents are clueless. Everyone is clueless in someway and here is why. No one knows everything, it is impossible there is still a bunch of unknown things out there. This might be a stupid thing to say but it just needs to be said. Some people can think they can judge others on the way they act, and they don't realize the persons way of thinking of what happened in that persons life, they just base it off of what they can see. People's emotions and actions are sort of like icebergs, you can see the top of it, but there is way more hiding below.

People act like they care and understand when they don't. They think they know how you feel when they don't.The way you lie when people ask why you always wear long sleeves and you say you are cold. Your best friend says they know you, but they don't even detect the fake smile plastered on your face. That best friend, was me. Ethan Nestor was my best friend and I never thought twice about the obvious hints he gave me, the excuse about the long sleeves. I didn't know that his smiles were fake. That his thoughts were after him. When he said he hated everything about himself, I thought he was lying because how could he hate himself when he is so perfect?

I walk the school halls by myself now, ignoring everyone else, even my other friends. My grades have been going down, but who care, it isn't like I will have a future with Ethan out of it. I end up staring at his locker everyday and I always pray that he will go open up and close after getting his stuff and telling me to hurry unless we both wanted to be late for class. He always kept me going, and keeping things in check. I am not gonna lie, I use to be so happy, so carefree. I loved everyone and everything, and I wouldn't argue with anyone. But now, I can't smile, can't laugh or enjoy things. Everything reminds me of Ethan.

Ethan kept a smile on his face as he was breaking inside. He kept everything to himself and tried to hint stuff but I was to clueless to get the hints. I ruin everything, I couldn't even save my best friend from himself.

People act like everything is okay, but it isn't. If everyone realized that and would just be there for the people who needed someone than life would go on easier, if people didn't have there down days, than the positive days wouldn't seem as positive.

I draw myself back to reality as wind sweeps past me, and picks up leave that dance in the sky and the twirl and spin. I look down at the grave stone in front of me, 'In loving memory of Ethan Mark Nestor'. I rub my hand against the stone as tears glide down my face. Ethan killed himself, he overdosed. He didn't even tell me flat out, he never talked to me, but now I wish I talked to him. I wish I could see his face and hear his voice one last time, to see his smile, his bright blue eyes, his colorful blue hair, and to see him everything that makes him perfect.

I glance down to my clench fist that has a crumpled paper in my hand sprawled in Ethan's writing. He wrote me a suicide note saying everything he was feeling and everything that happened to him. Ethan wrote:

"Hi Mark,

If you are reading this, I went through with killing myself. I know it seems drastic but life just doesn't make me happy, there is all these negatives and all these people pushing me and calling me name like Fag, Gay freak, Loser, Ugly, Fat, Gross. I am just done. Honestly, this seems like a win win to me, cause people don't want me here and I don't want to be here either, so it is two birds, one stone type of deal.

Anyway, don't go blaming yourself. You couldn't have known, I didn't want you to worry about me. You are the nicest person I have ever known Mark. You made my days a little bit brighter, and I cannot thank you enough. I am actually surprised you but up with me that long and didn't hate me. Or maybe you actually did hate me, if you did I wouldn't be surprised because I hate me too.

I love you Mark. I never got to say that to you, but I honestly do. I love everything about you...

I guess that is it, since I don't want to sound to sappy. I will see you in the after life, best of luck.

~Ethan"

I had read this over and over again. Ethan had loved him, and I had loved him too... I take off my backpack currently on my shoulders and take out a piece of paper, and scribble a note on it and leave it on Ethan's grave and put a rock on it so it wouldn't blow away. I have been planning this since Ethan died a few weeks ago. I leave my backpack there with all my things in it and start walking out of the cemetery. I start walking up the hill and find a ledge.

I inch closer to the edge, and stare down at my feet as my toes are over the edge. I look up and look at the sky, the sun is setting so it makes it a pretty pink, blue, orange and purple color. I sigh as I turn around. Everyone is so clueless, how couldn't we see Ethan was hurting? I shake my head, nothing can change what happened. I life my arms from my side, close my eyes and lean back and fall. I have never felt so alive in this moment even though I knew I was going to die, who know falling in love would cause me to fall to my death. I open my eyes and see the ground inching closer, I turn so I will land on my back and stare up at the sky, the last thing I will ever see, "I love you too Ethan.." I whisper and no one would hear it because it sounds like the whistle of the wind.

The wind blows as Mark's body hits the ground, but the note staying in place on Ethan's grave that Mark had left, "See you soon Ethan :) ".

Everyone is so clueless, don't you think?

Hai guys, I hope you enjoy this. I am actually proud of this, I wasn't in the beginning because I didn't really read the whole thing, I read parts as I wrote. But recently I ended up thinking it turned out pretty well.  I hope some of you liked it ^_^ And as always I will see you in the next update, Ba-Byeeee