Yuri&Natsuki: *about to do the deed in the clubroom*

Monika: *Busts through the clubroom door*

Monika: COCK BLOCK 9000-

______________________

Yuri: You stupid.

Sayori: No i'm not!

Yuri: What's nine plus ten?

Sayori:...... Twenty one?

Yuri: yOU STUPID-

______________________

Monika: Quick! Hand me your flamethrower!

Natsuki: My what?

Monika: Your flamethrower! Don't you keep it in your purse?

Natsuki: Have you ever met a human woman?

Later.

Monika: Hey Yuri, do you have a flamethrower in your purse?

Yuri: Of course I do, I'm not an animal.

______________________

Natsuki: Yep. That's good. Wine glasses should have handles.

Monika: Keeping accurate track or your alcohol intake. Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.

Natsuki: You heard what I did?

Monika glances at Yuri.

Monika: Well, I heard who you did.

______________________

Yuri: Last night you were unhinged.

Yuri: You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.

Natsuki: *about to say sorry*

Yuri: Do it again.

______________________

Yuri: Why do people say they're about to make a mean dish? Why can't they make a nice one?

Natsuki: I make a tender, caring roast chicken that'll kiss you so so much-

______________________

Sayori: Hi Yuri!

Natsuki: Apparently some dumbass fought a squid at the aquarium today.

Yuri:...

Yuri: Well maybe the squid was being a dick.

______________________

Natsuki: Are you a cuddler?

Yuri: I've killed multiple people. I'm a machine of death and destruction.

Natsuki: ...

Yuri: God yes please hold me.

______________________

Natsuki: Can't you all see it from my perspective?

Yuri: * sits down*

Monika: *Crouches*

Sayori: * Bends over*

Natsuki: I will not hesitate to murder you all.

______________________

Natsuki: Where were you last night Yuri!? I didn't see you anywhere!

Yuri: I-I was at a party! Smoking weed!

Natsuki: Don't lie, you were at the LIBRARY you fucking nerd!

______________________

Yuri: Who hurt you?

Natsuki: What, you want me to give you a list or something?

Yuri: Yes, actually.

______________________

Natsuki: Yuri, I need you to look my straight in the eyes.

Yuri:...

Yuri: You know I can't look into your eyes and be straight.

______________________

Natsuki: *Banging on Yuri's door* Open up!

Yuri: Well it all started when I was a kid...

Monika: Yuri, Natsuki meant-

Sayori: No no, let her finish.

______________________

Natsuki: *Screams*

Yuri: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Monika: Should we stop them?

Sayori: No, I want to see who wins.

______________________

Sayori: Yuri isn't answering her phone...

Natsuki: I'll try calling her,

Monika: Sayori and I have both tried six times what makes you thi-

Yuri over the phone: Yes?

______________________

Monika: I have Natsuki at gunpoint. Pay ten thousand dollars and she'll be delivered to you unharmed.

Natsuki: Hey I'm worth way more then 10K!

Yuri: Natsuki.

Natsuki: MAKE IT A MILLION!

Yuri: NATSUKI STOP-

______________________

Monika: Hey Yuri, could you pass the salt?

Yuri: *Begins to pick up Natsuki*

______________________

Sayori: I really like the whole bad cop and good cop thing you have with Yuri!

Natsuki: It's not a thing, it's just I'm mean and Yuri isn't.