A/N: Above is a picture of Clara.

******************************************************************

I awoke with a jolt, and sat up straight, sweating, and feeling the blood pounding in my ears.

 Evelyn.

I saw Evelyn again.

She appeared out of the darkness and said my name. Zeenath. That's all.

      Then she turned around and started walking away. I called after her and tried to put out my hand to stop her from leaving but my hands wouldn't move. I turned around to see heavy metal handcuffs around my wrists. I struggled to get my hands out before turning to look at her. She kept walking. I started to panic. I couldn't lose her a second time.

"Evelyn! No! Don't leave!" I pleaded.

      I tried to run but my legs gave way underneath me and I fell into the loose dirt on the ground. I started screaming as I watched her get smaller and smaller. "Evelyn!" She kept walking until she disappeared behind the clouds of mist, stopping only to give me a single wave before turning back around and melting into the darkness. I was left screaming after her until my throat hurt and the tears blinded me and I started to drown in my own sorrow. The water from my eyes collected into puddles around me that kept growing bigger, rising quickly.

I screamed for Evelyn and the water rose.

I kicked at the chains, cursing myself for not doing anything, and the water rose.

It flooded into my mouth and I started to choke, spluttering her name between coughs. My heart beat against my chest and my lungs burned. This wasn't supposed to end this way.

This wasn't supposed to end this way.

That's when I woke up.

      I looked around at the dark room, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light as I tried to calm my hammering heart, breathing deeply. I felt something run down my face and I put a hand to my cheek. It came away wet with tears. I'd been crying.

      There was something heavy and soft on my thighs and I looked down to see Clara's head in my lap. She was spread out across the couch with a blanket half-kicked off of her. I wiped my eyes and swallowed. I was in my dorm. Good. I scanned the room and found Luke and Madison asleep on the floor. Luke's head was thrown back against the wall and Madison rested against his side, her head on his shoulder as they both snored lightly. I breathed in deeply, trying to settle my heart. There were people here, I couldn't wake them up with my crying. I felt my lips stretch into a light smile and a pang went through my heart as I watched everyone sleep. The smile felt so weird on my face, like it didn't belong there.

      I gently lifted Clara's head off my lap and started to slide out from under it. I reached down and picked up the fallen pillow I had been using and softly placed it under her head. She shifted a little and the blanket fell to the floor. I picked it back up and covered her with it as best as I could before picking my way across the floor between arms and legs to go stand in the middle of the living room. This was a mess. I squinted at the clock on the wall.

3:55 a.m.

Four in the morning.

      I heard a soft click and looked up. Damian stood beside the front door and his eyes widened when he saw me. A thick silence settled over us as we stood there, staring at each other. He studied me and I stood, still frozen from the shock of finding someone awake in the room. I bit my lip as the silence turned strained and awkward.

Then I said the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"Coffee?"

He blinked, then nodded once. "Sure."

      I walked over to the kitchen, turning on the little stove light and I heard him follow me. I looked around for the coffee-maker and my eyes settled on it hidden across the kitchen behind some plates. It was dirty. Guess instant coffee is the way to go.

I sighed and put the milk on the stove. I started slowly wiping the counters as we waited for the milk to heat up. The silence was getting uncomfortable and I needed something to do with myself.

Damian leaned against the counter as he looked around, switching his eyes periodically between the milk and me.

      I stopped, looking towards the stove. The milk was ready and I quickly poured two cups and mixed in the coffee powder. I breathed out slowly, and looked back up at him. "Let's go outside.They might wake up if we stay."

      He nodded and turned to leave. I trailed after him, pausing only to slip on my shoes before leaving the dorm. We walked outside the building and sat down on the bench in the courtyard. I handed him a cup and he took it, again nodding only once.

"Thanks."

      I gave a jittery smile before sitting on the other side and curling my legs up on the seat. We sat in silence, the only sound in the air was the soft movements of our hands as we drank the hot coffee. I rested my cup on the handle of the bench and stared at the puffs of steam unfurling from my coffee. The moon made a soft glow on the rim of my cup, and I ran my thumb over it as I sat.

"Dinner was nice."

I jumped and the coffee sloshed over the side, burning my hand. I hissed in pain and wiped it on my jeans before bring my hand up to blow on it.

I looked at him. "Excuse me?"

His face didn't change. "Dinner was nice."

Suddenly the stupidity of what I was doing settled over me. I was sitting on a bench outside drinking coffee with a total stranger. I froze.

"Uh..yeah." I shook my head. "I mean, thanks. It...I...It was." I breathed out slowly. That's it. I responded. It's over.

"Do you do it often?"

It's not over.

      I resigned myself to being interrogated and responded, lightly sighing. "Yeah. My parents used to be really busy with work so I got used to cooking dinner by myself." And inviting Evelyn, Noel, Luke, and Ericka over to eat with me so I wasn't alone.

My breath hitched. Evelyn. Everyone.

He shifted towards me and studied my face intently. Then he nodded.

I looked around for anything I could say so I didn't have to be stared at. I glanced down at my cup and jumped up.

"Oh look! My coffee's over." I looked at his. "Your's is too. I guess I should go back now. It's..." I looked up. "Late." I finished.

Lame.

He stood up and looked towards the dorms. "I'll go back to my own. Drop you off first."

Great, I thought. Use as little syllables as possible.

      I walked quickly back to my own dorm and breathed a sigh of relief when I touched the door handle. I turned around and watched him stroll down the hallway after me until he stopped in front of me. I let out a nervous laugh. "Well, I guess this is it. It was nice meeting you...coffee?" I shook my head. "I mean it was nice having coffee...we should do this again..." I remembered how late it was. "Never."

My eyes widened at my horrible mistake, and I waved my hands in front of me, palms up. "Not that. I didn't mean--"

His lip twitched. "I get it."

I clamped my mouth shut, and tightened my hand on the doorknob, ready to get away as soon as I could.

He stared at me, narrowing his eyes.

"Who are you?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?" I laughed nervously. "I'm Z--"

      "Not that. I mean, who are you really?" He paused. "You sit and stare at them when they talk, but you're never really there. You're somewhere else. You cried in your sleep tonight." He stopped, as if weighing his next words. "You're the girl who ran out of the coffee shop a few weeks ago."

His eyes darted over my face, trying to find the answer.

"Who are you?"

I opened my mouth, but he raised his hand to stop me. "Don't answer.Just think about it. Don't hurt them."

He nodded once at me and turned around and walked away.

I opened the door and made a beeline for my bed.

Don't hurt them. Who? Me?

      I lay in bed for hours, studying the tiles on the ceiling above me. Who are you? His words echoed in my head, bouncing around the dark walls in my room. From one side to the other, taunting me.

Who am I?

I thought I knew. I was Zeenath. Eighteen years old, freshman in college, addicted to coffee and the color green.

      But when he asked me again, all of that crumbled. I felt the cracks break open and the floor let out from beneath me as I stood there grasping at air, trying to come up with an answer. But I couldn't find one.

I couldn't define who I am.

Everything that I thought I was, I am not. Not anymore.

I'm no longer a best friend,

I'm no longer a little sister,

I'm no longer needed.

I'm no longer happy. I laughed bitterly. Not the way I used to be.

And that felt like a punch to the stomach. This was what I built my life on, but now the foundation is missing.

Who am I?

~Zeenath.   

***********************************************

Hey y'all. I hoped you enjoyed the chappy. 

What do you think? Be sure to vote/comment as always. :) 

~October