Illaria Point of View

Kill me!

Just kill me!

I can even jump in a spatula of water!

Or hit my head against a pudding.

Or crash into a skateboard.

Everything is less embarrassing than this.

"Why are we doing this again?" I gritted, looking between the glittering crackpot and his moldy pizza faced assistant.

"The file is not just important to us but also to you, Miss Allard. It's the code that boss prepared for the initial face of development. If that code is gone then consider –" Buzz paused and waved his hands in a gesture that 'it's finished'.

Giving me guilty gazes and Asmund, awkward ones, Buzz continued to shake his measuring tape to explore the chest area of glittering crackpot to measure the length of the hair there.

While Asmund was given the responsibility of the head, I sadly and very uncomfortably had to join the measuring team and was given the responsibility of somewhere I'm not interested in.

The legs!

I don't want to be a part of it but buzz pulled me into it saying that the file is too important and should be retrieved as soon as possible before it's too late.

I first wanted to measure the hair on crackpot's head but he is too tall for me to reach out so gruntingly, I had to sit on the floor, with a measuring tap around my neck like a dressmaking lady, I picked one stand of the hair after the other, measured them and recorded them on a piece of paper.

My face is now so red, so red from embarrassment that I can tell that, even aliens outside the milky way can see the color from their planet.

Illaria Gaia Allard, the chairwoman of the Allard group, one of the largest business empires in the world, one of the top hundred influential people in the world – look where have I come to!

"Stop moving, you –" I almost cursed out loud. If not for the thread of patience that is holding me, I would have used dirtiest words I know to curse this man.

"Alarming – Alarming, if a man doesn't tap his feat for music, then what kind of a man he is?" Music!

That lame and weird music again!

That human disco ball tapped his foot without any consideration for anyone and just enjoyed himself standing there while a lot of people are expending their time, effort and emotions on doing a dirty job for him.

"What a compelling statement! A man who cannot catch the rhythm to the music, I wonder what kind of a man he is."

I pray and curse him to have a bald body from this moment forever.

I curse him to not grow any hair on his body ever again!

I curse him to like better music that cannot be foot-tapped!

"26 inches, 26 inches, 28 inches – Where was I?" Ah, which strand of hair did I just measure?

Wait, is it this one or this one?

Scratching my head, I looked at the gorilla legs in daze for a second before resuming to do the measurement again from the beginning.

This time, I pulled out a handful of clips and bands from my handbag to separate the measured bunch of hair and unmeasured bunch of hair to make it easier.

Never though I could use nice looking clips and bands in this way on this type of hair.

It took me ten minutes to measure 20 strands of hair. Once that small bunch is done, I twisted them into a tight plait and put on a clip on it.

Half an hour has passed and I'm not even half way through. It is only now that I realized that this crackpot has such thick, long, black hair on his legs that even a gorilla will be ashamed and jealous of it.

Nay, I should say, he could beat a musk ox!

I raised my head and saw Buzz, Asmund and a few more are having hard time as well. My back is already aching and I feel my legs numb. My whole body started to ache so much that I just want to throw this measuring tape aside and say goodbye to him and his project.

If not for the project...

If only not for the project...

"Can't we just shave it off and do the same? This is extremely tiring." I complained as I massaged my back with my hand.

Buzz stopped what he was doing for a moment and gaped at me as if I dared to snatch food from a lion's mouth.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Sh- sha- shave? Shave of his baby hair? Shave his precious hair? Shave his treasured hair? Shave his –" I raised a hand for him to stop his useless dramatic monologue.

Alright, I got it.

Crackpot has another pot to be cracked about other than passwords. That is his body hair.

Alright, I understood that we cannot even think of shaving off hair from his body; which is more sinful than the most sinful act of the world.

Alright, I realized that instead of listening to these dramatic monologues about hair that could even make me so frustrated with the word 'hair' and even want me to shave my hair on head, it's better to just... continue measuring.

Say, why am I in this predicament?

I could've done a lot more important tasks, could've done a lot more research and work for my brother's engagement and wedding.

I sighed ruefully and just continued.

Five hours later, after five hours of rigorous struggle and work, finally we entered all the data in order to find out the longest strand of hair with technology help.

I have no energy and tolerance left in my body to do any manual calculations. I'm done for the day.

I'm afraid that for a year I will be only dream of hair and hair every time I closed my eyes.

Should I – go take a friendly visit to my friend's psychiatric clinic?

"Alright, the data is scanned through carefully. The answer is – 28 inches." Buzz said with a smile. He was about to enter the number for the security question when a team member stopped him.

"Mr. Buzz, when was it that this file was created and the security question was added?"

"This was something that he has been working on already from a couple of months. It was set two months ago and changes were made accordingly in the past week according to the current project."

Ah, I see.

I now see where the problem is and why this team member stopped him.

A couple of months ago, the length of the hair might be different from now!

Oh no!

Oh damn No!

"Then in these two months –" I trailed off, not knowing how to put it in words.

"In these two months, he shaped and grew it back after that once. So-" Buzz drawled, looked shocked, petrified and somewhat speechless.

"There are only three chances of entering the right answer if the answer is wrong, the security question is deleted and we have to either use the password itself to open the file or use the second security question."

Blast it!

I hate them!

Of all the disorder one can have, to prove he is the most crackest-pot in the universe, he should have the disorder of sealing the password inside his brain.

Can I just – just for once, slap this man?

Crackpot must be feeling a bit guilty or I wish to think so that he is much quieter and less flashy right now. Just sitting in the corner of the room while stealing secret glances towards us, he left us to figure out the shit he put us in.

I mean, who, in their right or wrong mind, would create a file, set a password, set security questions and then remember them for themselves and gives away the responsibility of managing such data to others while conveniently telling the password only once and denying them of noting them somewhere for safety reasons and then when one forgets the passwords, he could not tell the password again because –

Just because he has a condition and disorder of sealing away the passwords in his mind and one has to find it out themselves if they want to open the data.

"Why don't we use the three chances for this question first. I'm sure we might get it if we calculate it carefully." Seeing everyone's dreading faces, I couldn't just let them lose hope already so I just had to encourage and start the trial.

Buzz nodded with a solemn look and entered '28' in the answer slot. Result – wrong answer, try again.

Then after a bit of discussion, we decided to enter '25' as the answer. Result – wrong answer, try again.

And this is the last chance we have and everyone is extremely nervous.

Before we discuss and put on our third answer, one of the team members asked something everyone forgot about.

"Uh, what is the second security question?"

Buzz looked around uneasily, "What is the most searched –" He paused to take a deep breath.

"What is the result of most searched in your incognito tab."

Say what again?

Is this crackpot insane?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello Sweeties,

Next chapter is here. Enjoy!

What do you think about the chapter? Boring?

Poor Illaria and others. What kind of sin did they do to go through such tough times?

Uno Mayhem is such a lunatic yet a funny person. Agree?

Who grows such long hair on legs? Your views on it?

Will they able to succeed in their third trial or do they have to work on the second security question?

Please shower me with votes and comments.

Share my books with your friends.

Lots of Love

Lady Prim