Illaria Point of View

It was a sunny Wednesday morning, and the office was buzzing with activity. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, mingling with the sound of keyboards clacking and printers humming.

Hmm! What an amazing morning!

"Good morning, Alarming Allard!" Uno announced loudly making sure his voice was enough to cause a level 11 earthquake.

And there goes my amazing morning!

I raised an eyebrow. "Good morning, Uno."

He handed me a bouquet of rubber chickens, each one meticulously arranged with tiny flowers and ribbons. "Just a little something to brighten your day."

How can I have a bright day with you presenting yourself so early in the morning with what...!

A bouquet of rubber chickens?

What is the meaning of this? It's not even flowers. It's chicken toys adorned with small flowers on their crown.

I stared, confused. "Rubber chickens?"

Uno grinned. "They're a classic! I figured you could use some stress relief. Squeeze them, and they'll make adorable clucking sounds."

I hesitantly took the bouquet, feeling the soft rubber beneath my fingers. Uno demonstrated, squeezing one of the chickens. To my surprise, it let out a ridiculously realistic "Bock-bock-bock!"

No, the craziest thing was... the chickens' kind of look like me?

I brought a small chicken closer and looked at it thoroughly only to find the chicken have a very close and almost similar face like mine.

"What's with the...chickens?" Although I have a nagging confirmation in my heart, since I've become kinda silly these days, I still asked.

Uno proudly displayed his rubber chicken collection, each one meticulously crafted and adorned with quirky accessories. "What do you think?"

"What is with the chickens' faces?" I gritted inwardly and still asked in a calm tone.

Wasn't I only thinking about the day being good just moments ago? Why should God turn it upside down suddenly?

"Looks like just you, right. They are made after you and I've named them all after your qualities." With a very perversely proud smile, he held up a chicken with a miniature glasses' attachment. "Behold, Intelligentia! The embodiment of your sharp mind and quick wit."

Eh?

No matter how I look at it, isn't he saying indirectly that I have a chicken brain? I thought he was wooing me, how is this considered wooing?

He is calling me a chicken head!

"No, Mr. Mayhem, what is the meaning of this?" I asked with a small scowl on my face.

Apparently, Uno Mayhem did not understand the meaning of a frown because he beamed and pulled out another chicken from the bunch. "Next, we have Beautifulia!"

He held up a chicken with a sparkling tiara and a flowing veil. "Your inner beauty shines brighter than any crown."

I silently looked at him for a moment and understood that he is seriously and sincerely trying to woo, or in this case, flirt with me.

But his ideas and manner of flirting is a little –

Who in their right mind would compare their crush girl to a chicken and carve their girlfriend's face on chicken toys?

"Uno, you're ridiculous."

"I know right! I love it when you find me so lovingly ridiculous!" Now, now, now, that was pure evil assumption.

But Uno continued, undeterred. "Followed by Wittyia!" He displayed a chicken with a jokester's hat and a mischievous grin. "Your sense of humor is contagious, Alarming Allard."

Ah, now I understand. He attached 'ia' from 'Illaria' to all the name he was giving to chickens.

Looking at myself in a chicken's body, with a jokester's hat, I'm currently boiling from embarrassment.

God! If the pictures of these chicken toys go out, where am I going to put my face?

"Uno, what are your intentions behind making me into a chicken?" I'm seriously petrified by his sudden chicken attack on me.

Here, I was assuming, waiting for him to court me and impress me like a gentleman and there he goes, being Uno Mayhem and making all kinds of senseless chickens with my face and attributing them to my qualities.

Uno's expression turned serious, his eyes locking onto mine. "My intentions, Alarming Allard, are to show you how much I admire and appreciate you. You're the sunshine that brightens my day, and I wanted to find a unique way to express that."

I raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "Unique? You call turning me into a rubber chicken 'unique'?"

Uno nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! It's quirky, just like us. And each chicken represents a facet of your personality that I adore."

I shook my head, trying to process Uno's logic. "Uno, you're...unpredictable."

Uno beamed. "That's what makes life exciting, right?"

As I stood there, holding the bouquet of rubber chickens, I couldn't help but wonder:

What have I gotten myself into?

Was Uno's bizarre flirting genuinely charming, or was I just caught up in the absurdity?

And what did he mean by "just like us"? Was this his way of saying we were a match made in heaven – or a pair of eccentric misfits?

Uno held up a chicken with a miniature top hat and a 'Sexynomia' name tag. "Behold, Sexynomia! Your seductive charm is simply egg-straordinary."

Sexynomia, wore a miniature fedora hat, complete with a faux feather tucked into the band. A pair of trendy, oversized sunglasses adorned its beak, giving it a sultry look. Around its neck, a glittery name tag read "Sexynomia" in bold letters.

A tiny, sequined vest wrapped around its plush body, adding to its seductive charm. Uno had even attached a miniature pair of high heels to its feet, making Sexynomia look like a chic, downtown strutter.

A sassy, hand-painted phrase on its wing read, 'Egg-straordinary Seductress.'

I say, no matter how sexy the chicken looks, a chicken is still a chicken. Okay, I understand his intentions.

I am kind of touched by his efforts; I truly am. However, to do all this, couldn't he choose something else that might look more lovely?

What is it with his chicken-gardenia?

After all this, after looking at all those small chicken toys that are carved similar to my face, can I ever eat chicken in my life again with the same hunger?

"I just want to know, who gave you the idea of using a chicken for this project?" I asked curiously because I really want to know the genius behind this idea.

"Of course, it's me!" He tugged his hands back, giving off a proud stance.

Uh, no doubt!

"Why represent a chicken though?"

"Aiya, you don't know. I heard from somewhere that chickens represent an oncoming good occasion. I wish, you also, like a chicken, represent good occasions in mine and everyone's lives." Placing a hand over his heart, he said in a rather dramatic way.

Although I was a little moved by the thought behind it and also found the situation rather heartwarming, the moment I see those rubber chickens with my facial features, all the good feelings automatically washed away just like that.

"So, you thought of making chicken toys with my face on them?"

"Of course. Even without customizing them with your face, didn't you realize that they look just like you naturally?"

I stared at Uno, incredulous. "You seriously think these chickens naturally look like me?"

Uno nodded, deadpan. "Yes, it's uncanny. I mean, just look at Sexynomia's sultry gaze or Brainia's intelligent brow. That's why I knew you'd appreciate the chickens. They're like miniature, clucking versions of you." Uno grinned.

"In many cultures, chickens symbolize prosperity, good fortune, and new beginnings. I wanted to bring that positivity into our lives, and what better way than with chickens that resemble the amazing Alarming Allard?" He continued making my heart flutter; sandwiching both the good and bad well.

Despite myself, I felt a flutter in my chest at Uno's thoughtful gesture.

"And then there's Cunningia –" While I was just swimming in my thoughts, he picked up another chicken toy and started the introductions again.

Cunningia wore a miniature trench coat and a fedora, complete with a faux spy gadget attached to its wing. A sly, hand-painted grin spread across its beak, giving it a mischievous look.

A shiny, metallic "Mastermind" badge adorned its chest, complete with intricate details that made it look like a high-stakes espionage medal. Uno had even added a tiny, fake mustache to Cunningia's beak, adding to its sly demeanor.

Around its neck, a miniature name tag read 'Cunningia' in bold, secret-agent-style letters. On its feet, Uno had attached tiny, rubber sneakers, making Cunningia look like a stealthy operative.

A tiny, rolled-up "Top Secret" document was tucked under Cunningia's wing, complete with miniature, cryptic notes scrawled on it.

"You're Cunningia, the sultan of sneakiness, the emperor of evasiveness, and the queen of cleverness."

"Will you stop it? I will attribute to them myself so please leave. I'm busy and need some time alone." I said in a half-calm tone, not wanting to make it seem like I'm being rude.

Although my heart flutter for a moment here and there, the whole chicken situation is still a bit more traumatic than romantic to me.

"Alarming –"

"Ms. Allard, lunch is ready." Laura knocked on the door before walking in.

"Lunch?" Isn't it still morning?

"Yes, Ma'am. It's already half an hour past your lunch time." Huh?

I checked the time and found that it was already one in the afternoon. Did Uno eat away my whole morning with his chicken-nonsense?

"It's your favorite chicken alfredo for lunch. Shall I ask them to deliver it now?" Laura announced with a smile.

I swallowed and looked back at the toys before me and couldn't help feel nauseated.

"Alright have your lunch, Alarming. Wait for me to give you a better gift in the meeting later. Wait and anticipate. I promise you will love it equally and more than this one."

Oh no!

I shuddered at the thought of another 'gift' from Uno. What could possibly top this chicken extravaganza?

As I watched Uno walk out, rubber chickens still clutched in my hands, I couldn't help but wonder; Was I falling for Uno's quirky charm, or was I just caught in the whirlwind of his madness?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello Sweeties,

Next chapter is here. Enjoy!

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What kind of courting is Uno/Devon performing?

Can Illaria ever eat chicken again in life after this?

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Lady Prim