Koda, fixing something : hey, Artie, would you mind giving me a hand?

Artie : *throws a human hand into the room*

Koda : yes, Artie, that's very fu-

Koda :

Koda : Artemis, where did you get that?

-

Artie : okay, repeat after me

Char : okay

Artie : I

Char : I

Artie : will

Char : will

Artie : face my problems

Char : face my problems

Artie : I will face my problems

Char : I will make another Bucky Barnes bot

-

Char : okay, repeat after me

Artie : okay

Char : I

Artie : I

Char : will

Artie : will

Char : face my problems

Artie : face my problems

Char : I will face my problems

Artie : I will make another Bruce Wayne bot

-

Artie : I love Astra and will fight anyone who says anything bad about them

Astra : well, I am shit

Artie :

Artie, cracking their knuckles : alright, square up, bitch

-

Astra, at my funeral : so, Char's not really dead

everyone : WHAT

Char, climbing out of the coffin : yeah, but I will be keeping the sympathy gifts

Astra : if anyone has a problem with this, they can take it up with us out in the parking lot

Char : thanks for coming everyone

-

*fuckin idk artie's working for an assassin organization or whatever might write this bc I love writing fanfics about my friends*

big boss man : what's the status report of Astraea Ray?

Artie : target has been taken out

big boss man : very go-

Artie : it was at a lovely restaurant with a candelit dinner. she proposed at the end of it. my last name is Ray now

-

*we all live together or some shit idk*

Astra : the foods too hot, I can't eat it

Artie : you're too hot and I still eat you

Char, banging void's fist on the table : ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I FUCKING ASK FOR

-

Char : physically, I'm here

Char : mentally, I'm somewhere in rural Kentucky, in a Waffle House parking lot, slowly bleeding out from several stab wounds

-

Jules : do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Koda : A Bone Coming out of the skin is very bad

-

Artie : *dies* 

Char : timer starts now! when are they coming back? I say two months! 

Bee : bullshit. one month

Jules : nah, half a month

Astra, sobbing : WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARTIE JUST DIED! 

Koda, scratching his chin in thought : one week