(I'm too tired to add emojis)

Char : hello everyone, my name is Charlotte Tyler Magnolia Jones with a B and I've been afraid of insects my whole life-

Jules : wait, stop

Char : hm?

Bee : where's the B?

Char : THERE'S A BEE?!

-

Char, to Bee : so, you've been accused of running a cult

Char : if you were an actual cult leader, what would you require of your followers to stay in your good graces?

Bee : WELL

Bee : you can't eat anything except for ramen and diet coke, that's it

Bee : we don't do kool-aid

Char : I like that. this, I think, is going to completely overshadow Jared Leto's cult

Char : Jim Jones has nothing on you

Bee : we'll see

Char : we'll see! oooooooooooooo

-

Jules : thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Char meowing at each other from different rooms in the house

-

Koda, on a random band name generator : oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! that about sums up my friend group!

-

*Artie is speaking on the phone*

Artie : yeah, I'm with Char

Char : I'm fucking dying-

Artie : yep, voids okay

Char : I have a knife in my chest!

Artie : no, they can't talk right now. she's sleeping, sorry

Char : I AM BLEEDING OUT-

(fun fact: if you ever get stabbed and the knife is left in, don't move the knife because it will actually keep you from bleeding out, wait until you're receiving medical attention and then they'll get it out and get you bandaged 👍)

-

Char : hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces

Char : *waves my finger and sings like I'm in a Disney Channel intro*

-

Jules : can I go to the pool?

Artie : sure, we'll go as soon as I'm free

Jules : no, can I go by myself?

Artie : you don't want to go with me?

Jules : you just go around challenging random people to cannonball contests

Artie : it's the only way to establish dominance!

-

Iris : go big or go home!

Bee : please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. go. home.

Iris : I'm going big!