C H A P T E R  1 5

❛ never give you peace ❜

DARYL

     DARYL HAD LOST COUNT OF THE AMOUNT of times Quinn had him worried out of his mind. It seemed he was worried all the time, especially where his family was concerned. But worrying about her was different. It felt like there was some sort of virus in his brain, eating away at every rational thought until all he was left with was blinding panic. He could still recall the first time he realized she'd come too close for him to think rationally whenever she was in danger. It was the night before they found Terminus, when Joe and his men caught up with Rick and he had to helplessly watch as she was beaten to the ground, about to be abused by a monster of a man. His relief when she turned out to be okay afterwards was bigger than anything he'd ever felt. And since then, he'd known that her being in danger could one day very well be the death of him.

And at times it almost had. Like that time at the satellite station when she got shot and he was so worried about getting her to safety, he almost got shot himself. And again when she'd been shot outside the Sanctuary and he'd given up his own safety to get her out. Negan's men almost killed him for it. But all those times being in danger hadn't been by her own choice. This time, it was. Which made it the very first time his anger burned brighter than his worry. Though that still didn't help to calm down and think.

The walls of Barrington House trembled when he threw the doors wide open and marched inside. His heart was racing in his chest as he made a quick scan of the place. But nothing he saw calmed him down, on the contrary, it only confirmed his fears. She was gone. He didn't know how, maybe she'd hidden herself in the back of one of 'em trucks, but he did know why.

Of course he'd sensed it, the restlessness inside of Quinn. He knew she was eager to fight, to get justice for all that had been done to them. But so was he, so were they all, which was why he never expected her to go out on her own. Or maybe he simply hoped she wouldn't, not without at least talking to him about it. He'd actually been naive enough to think she wouldn't make a decision without him. And his stupidity might actually cost her her life.

Enraged at his own foolishness, he stormed back outside. Maybe if he hurried he might still be able to catch up with her. There was no way he was going to let her go back to that place all by herself. Not after everything that had happened last time...

"Daryl!"

He halted his hurried pace towards the gates and turned around. Milo was making his way towards him. He felt his stomach turn with dread. How the hell was he going to tell him that his sister had left on a mission that would most likely get her fucking killed?

"Have you seen Sasha or Rosita?" Milo questioned as soon as he caught up with him.

Daryl frowned, that was the last thing he'd expected Milo to ask but it seemed like he wasn't even aware Quinn was gone yet. And now Sasha and Rosita were missing as well...Slowly the pieces fell into place. The anger had basically been radiating from Rosita this entire time and knowing Sasha, revenge was probably all she'd been thinking of since watching as Negan killed Abraham. How had he not seen this coming?

"Fuck," he muttered and without any explantion whatsoever he marched over towards Jesus' trailer.

Milo followed him closely, confused, but Daryl knew he was smart enough to figure it out himself. And if he wasn't, he was about to real soon...

He stormed into the trailer, startling Enid, Maggie and Jesus as they were just about to sit down to eat. Daryl didn't waste any time and decided to ask what he wanted to know straight away. He couldn't imagine not one of them being aware of what was happening. "Where the hell are Sasha, Rosita and Quinn?"

From the corner of his eye he noticed Milo freeze, suddenly realizing his sister was gone as well. It seemed Maggie didn't have a clue either, looking genuinely confused. But both Jesus and Enid exchanged uneasy looks. Which was all the confirmation Daryl needed.

Jesus sighed as he rubbed his forehead, searching for the right words to tell him what happened.

"Well?" Daryl snapped, his patience running thin. If his hunch was correct he could still catch up with them.

"Sasha was planning on going to the Sanctuary to kill Negan," Jesus said, looking somewhat guilty of keeping this to himself for so long. "Rosita didn't come here to train people, she came to join Sasha and if Quinn is gone, it's likely she's gone with them."

He clenched his fist as though he could crush all his worries between his fingers. But he couldn't. He'd failed to see what was right in front of him all this time. Abruptly he turned around, about to head out of the door, but Maggie called out his name, stopping him. Reluctantly he turned to look back, despite every bone in his body screaming for him to rush after her, to try and stop her before she'd get herself killed.

"If they're really doing this, we need to get ready for what comes after," Maggie said.

"I don't give a shit, I'm goin' after 'em," he said, becoming more impatient with every second being wasted.

"Think about it," Milo spoke up, his face determined despite worry for his sister clearly lingering in his eyes. "If they kill Negan, the Saviors will retaliate. If not, Negan himself will. We have to warn the other communities. Sasha is a good shot, Rosita knows how to fight and Quinn has escaped that place before. Going after them will do nothing except lose time. They can take care of themselves."

He sighed, knowing Milo was right but he couldn't just let her go. He couldn't just let her walk to her death without trying his damn hardest to stop her.

Milo took a step towards him, careful to maintain a respectful distance but close enough to comfort him. "Quinn wouldn't want you getting captured or killed by blindly marching after her."

Daryl didn't give a flying fuck about what she wanted right now. If she'd made a plan to kill that motherfucker herself, she should've known he was gonna come after her. She'd made him promise it would be the two of them together. He was hers, and she was his. But apparently that all meant nothing when getting revenge was on the table.

"Daryl," Milo tried again, his voice soft but pressing.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to push his frustrations aside and think clearly. But after all, he'd never been able to do so where Quinn was concerned...He knew Milo was right. If he followed them now, he would probably only end up making things worse. He had no idea what they were planning, which he would go in blind. A risk that might end up getting them killed. But knowing the right thing to do, and actually doing it were two very different things. It was impossible to breathe as long as he knew she was out there. There was a weight pressing on his chest he couldn't get rid off...

"I'm heading to Alexandria," Milo said. "They need to be warned. You do whatever you think you need to." There was no judgment in his voice, he understood perfectly well how worried Daryl was. He probably felt the same way and yet he was able to make the choice Daryl couldn't.

Without waiting for an answer, Milo reached for a backpack and made his way out of the trailer. Silence lingered like a calm before the storm as the others waited for Daryl to make his decision. He wished he could unleash the hurricane raging inside of him but he knew the only person to calm that storm was out of his reach. And so he would have to find a way to calm it himself.

"Don't be late," he told Maggie, though he knew she would do everything she could to make Hilltop ready for the fight that was coming.

She nodded at him, eyes shining with determination.

Then he stepped outside and with a heavy heart he followed Milo through the gates.

QUINN

     THE WALLS OF ALEXANDRIA LOOMED up out of the darkness. Illuminated by the light of the moon they looked like mountains she'd never be able to climb. She knew she should feel relieved she made it back home. But all she felt was defeated. They failed their mission and now her family was in greater danger than ever. A danger she'd caused. They had no idea what happened to Sasha, or if Negan was still alive. All she knew was that she failed and the feeling burned like bile in her throat.

But she wasn't returning home completely empty handed. The man seated in the back of the car might yet have some useful information for them. She'd kept her eyes focused on the road in front of her the entire ride home. Even his silhouette in her rearview mirror was enough to make her want to reach for her daggers and slash at him until he died. But that would make their trip to the Sanctuary even more useless. And so she'd tried her best to bury those feelings.

As they drove up to the front gate, the fence slowly opened. The car lights revealed Rick, bathing him in golden light. Despite his inquiring cop eyebrow already plastered on his face, Quinn was glad to see him. She turned to Rosita, exchanging a small glance to make sure they were on the same page. Then she drove the car inside the community as Rick closed the gates behind them.

Rosita reached for her gun, pointing it at Dwight. "Out," she ordered.

He did as he was told, followed by the two women with their weapons at the ready. One wrong move and Quinn wouldn't hesitate to put him down. She still didn't believe his sob story about wanting to help them but she knew she wasn't the right person to judge his honesty. Which was the only reason she'd agreed to bring him back here.

"Hey," Rick greeted them, his eyes scanning Dwight with suspicion. "Where's Sasha?"

"We don't know," Quinn said, her voice small. "We got out with his help but she got left behind." She frowned then. "How do you know Sasha left with us?"

He opened his mouth to explain, but that turned out to be unnecessary when several people made their way towards them, having noticed the car arriving. Michonne, Tara, Cyndie, Milo and Daryl...Quinn quickly averted her eyes, not quite ready to face what she'd left behind. As soon as they discovered they left, Milo and Daryl must've made their way to Alexandria to warn them. She was glad for it but at the same time she'd hoped to have more time to prepare herself to see Daryl again.

For a moment the air was heavy, loaded with the energy of a thunderstorm. Then, faster than any of them could have anticipated, lightning struck. Daryl caught sight of Dwight and stormed forward, fuming at the mouth. Rick managed to jump in between the two, holding back Daryl while trying to calm him down.

"Slow down, come on."

Finally Daryl stopped struggling, but his gaze remained focused on Dwight, his eyes spitting fire. Rick placed his hand against his chest, just in case the man decided to storm forward once again. Behind him, Milo stood at the ready to help if needed.

"He says he wants to help us," Rosita explained.

Slowly Rick turned to look at the Savior, who hadn't even so much as flinched when Daryl came at him. "That true?" Rick questioned. "You wanna help?"

"I do," Dwight nodded.

Rick let Daryl go and turned to face the man fully, his eyes narrowed as he stared him down. "Okay." Suddenly he raised his gun, removing the safety as he placed it against Dwight's forehead. "Get on your knees."

Quinn couldn't suppress the flame of satisfaction surging through her when she watched him get down. And it must've been clearly written on her face, because Dwight watched her with tensed muscles.

"Look at me," Rick ordered, waiting for him to do so before he continued. "Why?"

"'Cause I want it stopped. I want Negan dead."

"So why don't you kill him?" Rick asked.

"Can't just be me. They're all Negan."

"Yeah and so are you right?" Quinn spat, unable to swallow her hatred a second longer. "Or did you forget killing a teenage girl in his name?"

Dwight turned to look at her and though he might've been willing to help, his eyes were cold as stone. "I wasn't aiming for her."

This time Daryl moved too fast for anyone to stop him. He rushed forward, grabbed Dwight by the neck, pulled him up and smashed him against the fence. Quinn hadn't even seen him reaching for his knife, but at the moment it was inches away from penetrating Dwight's eye. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Daryl's muscles wound so tense. He was shaking and yet his grip was too strong for Dwight to do anything but stand there.

"You wanna end it this way," Dwight mumbled. "You go ahead. I'm sorry. I am." He took a shaky breath. "I know you want to."

"He could just be here to see if you two were here," Rick said, gesturing at Daryl and Quinn.

"We can't trust him," Michonne agreed.

But Dwight wasn't willing to give up that easily. "He owned me. But not anymore. What I did, I was doing for someone else. She just got away. So now I'm here."

His wife...the one who ended up marrying Negan to save his life and he still ended up with half a burned face. Quinn didn't like admitting it but his reason for only wanting to help now made sense.

"So are you," he said to Daryl. "Because of her."

Daryl had told her of his suspicion that Sherry was the one who'd given him the key and Dwight confirming it now made the story complete. Still, her body was trembling with hatred and it painted her vision red. She wasn't sure she could ever trust this man. Not after everything he'd done. The swan pendant around her neck seemed to burn against her skin whenever she even considered working with him. But dismissing him without a second thought, wouldn't help them either.

"Negan trusts me. We can work together. We can stop him."

She knew this was Daryl's decision to make. Out of all of them, he knew Dwight the best. He would be able to tell if he was being genuine or not. And despite the knife still being pointed at his eye, Quinn knew Daryl had made his choice. Or else Dwight would be dead on the ground already.

"You knew me then, and you know me now," Dwight continued pleading his case. "You know I'm not lying. I'm not."

Daryl inhaled sharply before finally lowering his knife and releasing him. Though his eyes remained focused on him like a hound following its prey.

"They have Sasha," Rosita said, repeating her fate for the others to hear. "If she's even alive."

Milo frowned. "Why didn't you say something? He could be our only chance to get her back."

"Because I don't trust him," Rosita defended. "But I trust Daryl."

They all did and so if he decided Dwight was trustworthy, or at the very least angry enough to help them, everyone would accept it.

"Negan's coming soon," Dwight said. "Tomorrow. Three trucks probably. 20 Saviors and him. I can slow them down, bring some trees down in the road, buy a little time for you guys to get ready. If you can take them out, that's where we start. You kill them, I'll radio back to the Sanctuary and say everything's okay. You drive the trucks back and I can lead you right inside and, with the right plan, we can wipe out the rest. Check to see if your friend's still alive. Then we get the workers on our side, build our numbers up, and go from outpost to outpost and end this."

He'd clearly thought it through and it genuinely sounded like a good plan. A little too good...There were so many factors that could go wrong and it all started here and now, with the decision to trust him. If they were wrong, they were dead. Something they all seemed to realize because the silence dragged on as each of them carefully weighed the decision in their hands. War didn't come without risks but they'd made the wrong choice before and it cost them everything. Quinn wasn't sure they would survive being wrong again.

"Cyndie," Rick spoke up suddenly, seeming to have made his decision. "Can you get your people here by tomorrow?"

Cyndie's brown eyes flickered between Quinn and Rick, seeming torn.

Quinn nodded at her, having made up her mind. They could use an advantage in this war and Dwight had just provided them with an opportunity. If he loved Sherry as much as she loved Daryl she had no doubt he wanted to see Negan dead. So that's what she decided to put her hopes on.

Cyndie's eyes hardened then as she assumed the role of leader effortlessly. "If we leave now, yes."

Rick nodded. "Okay, then go. Milo, go back to Hilltop, warn Maggie and tell them to get here as soon as they can."

"Consider it done," her brother said and after one last look at Dwight, he headed towards one of the cars.

"Give him your keys," Rick said, gesturing at Quinn.

She reached in her pocket and handed Dwight the keys to her car. Before she let him go though, she took a step closer to him, speaking softly so only he would be able to hear her words. "If you're lying, there won't be a place on earth you can hide from me. I will kill you."

He held her gaze and there was no fear in his eyes. "I wouldn't expect anything different." Then he took the keys and headed for the car.

She turned away from him and made her way over towards Milo instead, who was already seated behind the wheel. When he noticed her come over he rolled down the window.

"Hey," she greeted him softly.

"Hey," he replied with a look on his face she couldn't quite place. "Are you okay?"

The automatic response of 'I'm fine' lay ready on her lips but she managed to swallow it. After everything they'd been through, Milo deserved her honesty. "I'm not sure," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

Milo shifted in his seat so he could look her straight in the eye. "You scared me, Quinn. What the hell were you thinking?"

Her heart twisted in her chest. She hated how he always knew exactly what to say and yet managed to say it without judgment or anger. He sounded worried and genuinely saddened by the fact she hadn't trusted him with this decision. "I had to," she muttered. "I couldn't risk him hurting any more of you."

"But him hurting you is a reasonable alternative?"

She winced. "That's not what I meant."

"Maybe not," he replied softly. "But by going off alone that is exactly what you're saying."

She couldn't look at him, realizing he was right and hating herself for it.

"We're in this fight together Quinn, don't forget that." He reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," she mumbled, squeezing his hand in return before dropping it. With a heavy sigh she watched him drive away, followed by Cyndie and Beatrice in another car. She knew what she had to do next, she just wasn't sure she had the strength to do it. To face him after she'd left him behind...

She had to force herself to start moving away from the gate and into the direction of her house. It felt like ages had passed since she'd set foot inside the place that had become her home. Entering the clean house felt as though she was entering a different life, where a different version had lived. Now her soul felt tainted, with regret, with revenge, with anger. It felt as though these feelings, this version of her, didn't belong in a place that held so many happy memories.

Swallowing the tears that suddenly seemed close to the surface, she made her way up the stairs and towards the bedroom. A small breath of relief escaped her lips when she realized it was empty. Part of her hoped Daryl was too angry with her to even set foot in here tonight, though at the same time she knew she was a coward for even thinking that.

She sat down on the bed and took off her boots but her thoughts were racing far too fast to continue sitting still. She got back to her feet and started pacing up and down the room. A thousand scenarios were running through her head, a thousand different apologies laying ready on her lips. But she knew none of them would ever be enough for Daryl to forgive her for leaving him like that.

She'd been selfish thinking she wouldn't have to deal with this, with asking for forgiveness. Because she hadn't expected to make it back alive. It wasn't like she was actively searching for ways to die, she wasn't even sure she wanted to die. She was simply content with dying if it meant she could've taken Negan with her. It was a price she'd been willing to pay. It was that simple. Or maybe it wasn't all that simple after all.

The door was opened, bringing an end to her pacing. With a wild beating heart she watched as Daryl entered the room, eyeing her as though she was a stranger he hardly recognised. The pain in her chest was unbearable and she'd give anything, anything to wipe that look from his face. She opened her mouth, only to find that all the words she'd just prepared had left her, and so she said nothing.

Daryl, however, had more than enough to say. "Why'd you go?"

Quinn wasn't quite sure what she expected but it certainly wasn't for him to sound this hurt. She'd anticipated anger, maybe even hatred. But not this soul crushing anguish that was written all over his face and made his voice crack.

She took a deep breath, knowing her reasons would sound hollow and ridiculous but it was all she had. "Because he deserves to die for everything he's done."

His beautiful blue eyes turned to ice, freezing her as they cut her soul. "And you thought ya could just storm in there and kill him yourself, did ya?" He shook his head, pacing back and forth. "Bet you thought ya were real brave."

"You don't get to do that," she said, her voice growing in volume as she slowly gathered all her remaining anger. He had every right to be mad at her but that didn't mean she was just going to stand here and let him yell at her. "You don't get to question my choices after you did the exact same thing after Beth died!"

He looked as though she'd just slapped him across the face but he gathered himself quick enough, dismissing her words with a wave of his hand. "Ain't the same thing!"

She scoffed. "Oh really? 'Cause I don't remember you taking the time to talk that through with me either!"

He walked towards her, pointing his finger at her face. "Don't be changing the fucking subject!"

"What do you want me to say then? Because I sure as hell won't apologize for wanting to kill that sack of shit! And don't you dare deny you don't want the same thing."

"Ya could've been killed!"

"I was prepared for whatever would happen!"

"Well I ain't!"

All her will to fight back left her at once, leaving her feeling like a deflated balloon. He was right, just like Milo had been minutes before. She'd deemed her own life less valuable than that of her family and decided to take matters into her own hands. And in the process she'd forgotten that if she were to die, she would cause her family just as much pain she would feel when one of them died. She'd decided to fight this war alone, thinking it would protect her loved ones. But instead it had only endangered them further. "Daryl-"

"Nah, forget it."

She shook her head. "Can't really do that when you were just screaming in my face about it."

"Cut the fucking bullshit then!"

"Fine! You really wanna know? I want to kill him because loving you is the only thing I've ever done right. And I couldn't fucking stand him trying to take that away too! I want him dead because he fucking broke you. Nobody gets to do that to you and live! Is that what you wanted to hear?" She was out of breath by the time she was done but when she caught sight of his expression, she froze.

All the anger had suddenly been drained from his face. Instead he was staring at her as though she'd suddenly grown wings, his eyes having turned a dark shade of blue.

She tried to recall what she'd just said. And when her brain finally caught up she wished the ground would open up beneath her and swallow her whole. She hadn't pictured the first time saying those words would be out of anger. But she couldn't take them back now.

When he remained quiet she sighed. "Grow the fuck up. It's just words."

He still didn't respond and she was growing desperate now, trying her hardest to repair the damage. She wasn't prepared to lose everything today...

"Really, Daryl just say-" Before she knew what was happening he'd crossed the room and cut her off by placing his lips on hers. They stumbled backwards, knocking over a chair in the process but she hardly cared. In fact, she didn't have a care in the world when his hands were everywhere, setting her body aflame and his lips were devouring her like that. The argument was nothing but a distant memory as she completely lost herself in him.

Her back hit the wall and he pulled her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. She tangled her hands in his hair while he held her tightly, one hand on her ass, the other on her leg. They'd kissed before, but never like this. With a desperation as though the world would end again if they didn't close the remaining distance between them.

Quinn tilted her head back, burying her nails in his shoulders as his lips left traces all neck, her shoulders, her lips. Every sigh that fell from her lips only seemed to spur him on. He pulled her away from the wall and stumbled through the room, drawing a giggle from her lips.

"Shut up," he muttered and threw her down on the bed. He hovered above her, hands on both sides of her face.

She smiled innocently at him. "I didn't say anything." And before he'd got the chance to reply, she sat up and reached for his shirt, pulling it over his head and letting her fingers trace the lines of his chest. Slowly she leaned forward, kissing each and every scar that littered his skin, forming a galaxy of stars, a map only she was allowed to navigate. She worked her way down until she reached his pants. Her fingers were trembling when she undid his belt and watched as he tossed his pants aside.

Daryl pushed her down against the sheets and unbuttoned her pants, pulled them off. His lips left traces all over her exposed skin. Her legs, her thighs, her stomach, until her entire body was aching for him. But he stopped when his lips were inches away from hers. It took her every bit of restraint she'd left not to pout like a little girl who wasn't allowed her candy.

"Promise me somethin'," he muttered.

The dark shade of his eyes made her heart flutter in her chest. She would've promised him the world in that moment.

"What?" She breathed.

"Yer mine." He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss against her cheek. "And I'm yours."

She pulled him closer until there was no more distance left between them. "I promise."

 A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

This chapter has been sitting in my drafts FOR SO LONG. I wrote that scene between Quinn and Daryl as one of the first scenes ever I think? Back when I was still planning out Collapsed, this scene was already written and ready to go. Which makes it feel kind of like a milestone now that it's finally published. I really hope you guys like it since it's kind off the first scene in which Daryl and Quinn have a fight. But oh well, it's resolved soon enough ;)

I can't believe we're almost done with season 7. Just one more chapter and the war with the Saviors has officially begun! I'm very excited to get into season 8 because I have so many awesome things planned! BUT I'm even more excited to get to season 9 because it's one of my favorite seasons. We've got some chapters to go before we get there though.

I'm very proud of myself for managing to update consistently since Christmas! I don't think I've ever managed to keep up an update scedule for that long lol. Which is basically my way of saying that I hope I'll be able to keep this up! So, for any newcomers out there. New chapters are published every other weekend.

See you guys in two weeks!

xx Nelly