Guys, you should listen Ars's [Youngjae] song called Trauma and DefSoul's [Jaebum] songs which is Lost and Sin. it will give you the feeling and you can get in the mood! Thank you:)

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Jaebum Po.V.:

Why am I like this? I questioned myself again and again while I walked on the quite street.

I helped Youngjae, who is still probably mad at me....but maybe, the same time he can forgive me for all the mistakes I've done.

I felt my anger growing up as I thought about that bastard. He wanted to do dirty things with Youngjae, who was the most innocent and pure person in this world, I'm not gonna let him to do it.

My story isn't that good what it should be. I'm not a good person, if it makes sense. I didn't want that, but it happened and that is the reason why I'm not totally fine.

It was a trauma for me.

Flashback.

He is here! He's waiting for me... I don't want it.. he needs me, he wants me. He calls my name. I resist it. No answer is coming from me. I'm in silence. I want to disappear. Mom can't help me. She fainted when papa hit her. I know that I have to help her but I can't move. I don't know how to.

"Jaebummie....my cutie.."he says and I'm shaking. He comes to me...holds my hand. Drags me out of my room into his. I can't help, my tears running down my cheeks.

"Stop crying..." his voice sends shiver down on me but not in a good way. I can't stop it, he slaps me as I cry again.
"I hate you!" I cry out loudly, but he ignoring my words. He strips my clothes off, pulls down my pants and his hands lands on my butt. It hurts.

"Be a good boy and I'll let you enjoy it.."

"Noo!!" I'm trying to pull him away, but dad is stronger. He wants me.

"I want you now, you'll give me your body. " He says and entering me hardly.

I'm screaming in pain. It's unbearable.. I can't...no more...it's like hell.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

"Entertain me little boy...ahh..."he moans again and again while he moves his hips.

My body hurts, my muscles are burning now. I feel like my head gonna rip off. I've got a headache...it's more painful than before. My voice fills the cold room as a scream escapes from my lips.

"Shut up you slut!" He shouts at me, but I can only hear my loud screams. I hate him.

"Please...ple-please..."I'm begging but he only grabs into my hair and bite my neck, leaving dark purple hickeys.

It hurts.

Everything he does hurts me even more.

Everyday is a nightmare for me.

He pulls out of me and leaves me on the floor. He used me for his own pleasure and he caused pain.

Every move he takes.

I'm just a toy.

Flashback end.

I can't help, but I didn't want to go back. My memories are too painful for me and I didn't want to hurt Youngjae like I was before.

I like him and I still not figured out the reason.

I turned around and headed back to my apartment to comfort Youngjae a bit. He probably need a little bit of me. That's one of my bad habits. I ran away from my problems...I can't help it.