Payal

"I will be late! Damnit!" I cursed under my breath as I nearly burnt my hand with my cooking. Even after living one-third of my life alone, I hardly managed to not burn my little kitchen with my very questionable skills.

Stuffing the hot chow mein inside my mouth until it burnt like my finger, I could only wonder for a second that my cooking is not too bad before throwing it up. "So fucking hot."

I bit my tongue, chugging down the water. This time, I took some time for it to cool down before gobbling it up on a go and packing the rest of it in two lunch boxes.

This morning, I searched my entire apartment to find the second lunch box. I wanted to thank Siddharth for his help. Honestly, I always feel like I became his biggest burden. So, today, I decided to prepare a lunchbox for him to show my gratitude, hoping he sees my love behind it.

"This isn't too obvious, right? This..." I thought in my head while putting a note inside, packing it up with a ribbon and putting it in a designated lunch bag that reminds me of my old days.

I nearly left the bag in the kitchen due to my uneasiness. But my eyes couldn't leave the beautiful bag and the effort I put into it. I wouldn't even have cooked chowmein if not for him.

"Whatever... Won't he consider my thoughts behind this?" I picked it up and rushed out, not before taking my bag and stuffing my lunch box in it just to make it look like it would burst out now.

Siddharth. His thoughts were making me restless. I feel like my mind is blocked whatsoever. I couldn't help but think of how he felt all those years when he loved me like crazy. I wasn't oblivious to his feelings.

Right from that day in the boy's hostel, I noticed him everywhere. Coincidence? It wasn't. I always saw him seeing me, looking from afar. Those little interactions, exchanging smiles, sharing kind gestures, sending gifts to each other's dorms turned into something I never imagined.

He confessed to me and I became scared. Scared to fall in love. Scared to experience that dating luxury - what they would call, the boyfriend-girlfriend culture. Scared enough to fasten my shoelaces and run away like a little bunny. Then he left.

After that, I would see Shruti waiting in the lobby every weekend when Abhiraj would come to visit her. In those sweet moments of watching them, I thought about him. I didn't regret my decision because I knew that love wasn't my priority at that point of my life but I couldn't help but think of what if I could undo my choice, what would my life be like.

My heart is racing now like that day in the fest. Is this what he felt like? Like the adrenaline rushed through my chilling body. And strangely enough, even more than the weight of the situation, the weight of the lunch bag felt heavier on my shoulders.

"Payal, are you going to your work?" I heard the voice of the next door grandma and turned to greet her.

"Ah, Yes. Did you sleep well?" She nodded in response. The next moment, I noticed her peeking like a curious parrot, trying to see the door and then she saw the lock and her face turned into a frown.

"Is there something?" I knew it but I pretended to not.

"Your husband... Where is he?" There it was. I had my plans up my sleeve.

"He went to visit his mother. She is sick so she asked if he can come and see her."

"Oh... I hope she is fine." I nodded in agreement.

"Payal! Are you going now?" Tarun interrupted as he walked over to us with a woman standing behind him, supposedly his wife. He turned to her and said, "I told you about the new employees right? She is one of them, Payal." He then looked at me to say, "Here's my wife-"

Before he could complete, she was already hugging me in her arms. "Nice to meet you. Myself Gita." She stood in front of me and I noticed her bob haircut, the shirt tucked neatly and an employee id card hanging around her neck. She seemed to work in the headquarters of Star Group.

"Nice to meet you too."

"Let's go together." I nodded again before leaving with them as they talked about work, projects and bosses. I loved how they shared with themselves the spicy ends of the gossip going on in their respective workplaces.

"Payal, where is your husband though?" He asked almost like it stuck him so sudden that it compelled him to utter it out loud.

"Oh, he will go directly to the market from his mother's house." They both bobbed their heads in understanding as they took me in on their little gossip.

"So, do you know the executive demons of the Star Group?" Tarun spoke only to get a smack on his head by his wife. "Are you nuts? You have some death wish." He bit his tongue at her words.

"Why? Are they powerful or something?" There goes my curiosity. I was so curious the moment I heard 'executive demons'.

Gita looked at her husband who kept blinking when ultimately he said,"It's okay, you can tell her." He looked at me for some confirmation and some guarantee that I won't let my mouth run elsewhere.

"Of course, I will zip up my lips."

★★★

I sat on my desk for a while as I only looked at Anvish. The words that I heard earlier on my way to work didn't quite leave me alone.

If what I heard was true, Anvish is a real talent. He worked hard to get a higher seat and it took him less time than others, mainly due to his smart ideas. And then one day he came out of the cabin of one of the 'executive demons' and straight he was demoted to this market by his boss on grounds of misconduct.

"What? How is that possible?" I asked, shocked at hearing the vague reason.

"Yeah, that's all we knew. There was a board discussion with those three executive 'demons' and they decided to throw him out to the market." Gita sighed.

"Sounds like a scam. Does that happen often?"

"Well, just count the employees in Pegasus Market. Sixty percent are people who worked for Star Group HQ and ended up there." Tarun pointed at the market as we reached in front of the market.

"Anyway, we don't know what's happening but I think I should be more careful to not get on bad terms with those people." Gita looked at me and said, "Please don't tell anyone. My job will be at risk then."

"Oh please no, then you will have to come work with me." Tarun joked around only to get a glaring look from his wife.

"What did you just-"

"I...I am sorry."

"Seems like you don't want me to work with you, huh?" Their banter went on while I saw him entering the market, twirling a pen in his hand as he whistled the evergreen beloved song of 'Tujhe Dekha Toh' from DDLJ.

I knew I was staring at him but I thought I was being discreet by hiding behind my computer screen until I saw Akshara looking at me dead straight from the other side of the computer.

"What the-" I nearly screamed, scaring her with my loud voice.

"What were you doing?" She asked, looking at the direction I was looking into.

"Why would you sneak like that?"

"Come on, who hides behind a laptop like that? I could see you watching him even from my seat." I cough out after hearing Akshara. Suddenly noticing my poor setup for playing Sherlock, I could only smack myself for giving away. At least he didn't notice me, that's enough.

"What's up with you? Is everything going okay with your husband?" She asked to which I only blinked.

"Of course. Why?"

She sighed and looked at Anvish who was busy with his laptop, as his face turned stressed every moment. It was almost like he would dive into that screen anytime. "He is married. You know that, right?"

I finally understood what she was thinking. "Hey, it's nothing like that. I was just zoning out." I smacked my hand on her only to see her pull her hands away.

I was taken aback by her sudden reaction. "Are you hurt... in your hand?"

"No." She replied in a second before awkwardly continuing, "It's nothing. I should go back. And don't stare at other men, okay?" She chuckled, smoothly shifting the topic back to me.

What just happened? I thought but I felt like I used my brain too much for today. I wondered if Anvish didn't feel anything wrong. He must know something about it, right? Was it really his fault or the company's? I had too many questions.

I sighed and looked at my side to see the lunch bag beside me. Earlier, I saw him go upstairs to deliver coffee. I pulled out my phone and texted him.

Me: Let's have lunch together... if you are free.

After three minutes, my phone pinged.

Siddharth: I am free. What should we eat? You can name it.

I wanted to pull out a surprise on him. So I texted him back in a playful note.

Me: You should tell me and I will bring it by magic.

Siddharth: Really, haha. Then, How about Chowmein? Or maybe Fried Rice?

My face flushed with red as I almost lost my control of seeing his message. I try to play cool in my texts as I write back.

Chowmein? Why chowmein?

Siddharth: Well you love that so...

That's the moment I realized that everything was me for him. Even here, he chose my favourite. I looked at the tiffin bag and let out a sigh.

I suddenly realized that I only knew that he liked Chowmein or even Fried Rice because that's what we ate together mostly.

Me: What about you? What's your favourite food?

There was silence on the other end. When I saw him not replying, I kept my phone aside to stare at the lunch bag blankly. I should have packed his favourite food. How can you pack your favourite food, you fool? My brain mocked me.

"What is in this?" Siddharth emerged from behind only to make me jump out of my skin.

I choked on my voice for a good second when he pulled the lunch bag closer to him. I tried my best to block him as I pulled it back. "Don't do this."

"Let me see it once. Your magic." He pulled it out of my grasp to take a look at it. He took off the ribbon and I felt that I could die now.

"Is it for me?" I was officially preparing myself to drown in a bucket of water. From the corner of my eyes, I saw him smile as he looked at the note.

To Siddharth, :)
Thank you♥

I felt him looking at me when I turned away for good. I can't bear it.

For what felt like a minute later, he whispered slowly, "You know, I love Chowmein." I turned around to stare down at the note he was holding and as my eyes looked up at his bright sunshine face, I felt my face burning up.

And I knew the feeling of love. The feeling that Shruti talked about. The feeling that I was scared of. It's a beautiful feeling after all.

~•~

Feeling of love with chowmein... How's that?

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