Days passed. Weeks, and then a month.

A month.

Of emptiness.

School went on, so did work. Life in general resumed around the teen as if nothing had happened. The back room of the shop was finally cleaned up and Reiner had Eren do other things. Levi neglected to ever show up after revealing his secret to Eren on Christmas. Reiner said he was on leave until further notice for personal reasons...

"I don't know what for. He didn't say and it isn't my place to ask."

Eren knew why. He knew exactly why Levi had taken this leave, or so he thought.

"I don't get it, Eren. You seemed to be one of the few people he actually liked. He seemed to be climbing out of the hole he was in because of you. And then one day he comes in and says he'll be gone until further notice unless I wanted to fire him. I can't afford to lose someone as good as him, so no way was I gonna do that, but...I really just don't understand it."

"I don't know, either," said Eren flatly. Fortunately, Reiner dropped the subject after that.

That month was seemingly the longest of Eren's life. He found himself reluctant to get out of bed each morning. His grades quickly started slipping. He was no longer as talkative and cheerful around his friends, and they noticed, despite his forced efforts to seem his normal self.

He was plunging back into his depression from when his father passed away. He knew it, though felt completely powerless to do anything about it unlike last time. He was empty. There was a void in him that let the wind blow right through.

Was it due to the short, raven-haired artist's absence? No - that was ridiculous. He was an addict; nothing good could come out of a relationship like that. Sure, Levi had made him feel things he'd never imagined before; - a longing, foreign urges, fluttering and anticipation in unexplainable ways - he even had an inkling he loved the druggie, but he refused to let it get to him now. He wouldn't subject himself to a relationship like that, even on the off chance the feelings were requited.

These words were drilled over and over in his head, trained to surface every time even the subtlest thoughts of Levi attempted to poke their way through. Those thoughts were persistent, however, and seemed to get stronger each time they tried to invade.

Eren denied over and over and over again that his depression was caused by Levi's absence. A part of him, deep down, knew he was lying to himself, that this was exactly the reason for it. He forcefully shoved that piece of himself away, - those feelings - buried them in other, less important things, building yet another wall to hold them back. This only served to make the cloud of depression darker, but he tried to work around that as well. There was so much built up inside of him that it was only a matter of time before his personal, internal dam gave out.

He thought of it kind of like a garbage can when you're too lazy to empty it. You keep shoving things inside of it, more and more, thinking it'll make it until trash day when you'll take it out...but it doesn't, and eventually the trash spills out or the bag breaks.

'What, now I'm comparing my emotions to trash? Ha, makes sense...'

"Eren, you in there?"

There was a loud snapping noise that broke the brunet out of his internal babble and his head snapped up.

"Huh?"

It was Armin, snapping his bony fingers in front of Eren's face. They were sitting at their normal spot in the dining hall before school having breakfast. The rest of his friends were chattering away amongst themselves while Armin was attempting to capture Eren's attention.

"Did you hear what I said?" asked the blond, frowning in concern and slight annoyance.

"No, sorry." He sat up straight. "What?"

"I asked how you're feeling about the test today," Armin clarified.

"Test?" Eren searched Armin's soft face in confusion, remembering nothing about any tests.

Armin sighed. "Eren, you've got to start getting things together if you don't want to fail the semester. Your grades have really dropped and now you're forgetting tests." He shook his head in disapproval.

"Sorry. Yeah, I know. I'm just...not feelin' too great."

"I can tell." Armin's blue orbs studied him closely, almost scrutinizing. "It seems a lot like when your-"

"Don't say it," Eren snapped loudly, grabbing the attention of the rest of the table and causing Armin to flinch. "Sorry," he said quickly. "I just...I know, Armin."

"You should get help, Eren," he replied softly. "Maybe go see the counselor...or make an appointment with your therapist again."

"I'm fine. It's not that bad," he lied, averting his eyes again. "We should get going if we don't want to be late."

"Er...yeah..."

The two gathered their things and, after Armin waved at the rest of their friends, headed upstairs.

"What's got you so down lately?" Armin asked halfway up the stairs.

"Hard to say."

"You know you can talk to me. I just want to help and for you to be happy again."

"Thanks, Armin."

At the top of the stairs, Armin seized the sleeve of Eren's hoodie to stop him. "I'm serious, Eren. What is it? I don't mean to be pushy, but I'm afraid you're going to do something you regret...or something permanent."

"Permanent? Like what? Like suicide?"

The shorter teen flinched again. "Maybe. I don't know. Have you been thinking about it?"

"No. I told you it's not that bad."

Armin's sky blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You know, I noticed something about a week ago...about how this all started just over a month ago, right after Christmas when you said you stopped talking to Levi."

It was Eren's turn to flinch. He averted his eyes from Armin's and recited his denial once again internally.

"Must just be a coincidence," he muttered.

"Something tells me it's not. And you know it." Eren half shrugged. "Eren, really," pleaded Armin, voice much softer now. "I hate to see you like this. Why won't you just try and get help? Talk to me, at least."

"I don't think it will help, Armin," said Eren truthfully. "I'm just getting by. It'll go away eventually. I'm fine. Or...I will be. Don't worry about it." With that, he yanked his sleeve from Armin's clasp and proceeded to class, fighting his traitor tears the entire way.

~Levi~

"Jesus, that's disgusting," the raven muttered to himself as he sat up, flushed the toilet, and leaned heavily against the side of the bathtub. He'd just thrown up for the third time in that hour. He was exhausted, shaking, and feeling entirely too empty. Breathing labored, his body shook and he sweated out what little water he managed to force down his burning throat.

Life without the monster was hell. No, worse. Rather than the drug coursing through his veins and keeping him company, his own thoughts did so instead. Memories the monster kept away resurfaced one at a time, haunting him until he could no longer take it and he went right back to the syringe.

As he lay there against the cold of the tub, eyes open but unfocused, mouth tasting like absolute shit, another one came.

"Levi, just cooperate with me! It will be so much easier and faster if you don't struggle!"

"No!" he screamed. "Get the hell off of me!"

"Please," the woman begged. "Don't you want to repay your aunt for all she's done for you?" He'd stopped his struggles short, youthful, innocent eyes widening. "Good. That's better. Just cooperate. You might like it."

Oh, but he didn't like it. It felt dirty, wrong, even painful. He'd started fighting again, kicking and screaming, but it was pointless...she was so much stronger than him, so much bigger. He didn't let that stop him, but his fighting didn't stop her, either.

"You're being a little shit, Levi! Stay still, dammit!"

"You're hurting me!" he wailed. "I can't breathe! Get off! Get-"

Her disgusting hand came down over his nose and mouth, leaving him truly unable to breathe.

"Do you wanna know what suffocation feels like? Keep struggling and you'll learn!" she growled.

The raven jolted up and, with a shaky body, fumbled under the sink for that little bit of death that was life at the same time. It didn't take him long to find it; it had been right where he'd left it, of course.

As he readied his poison, he pressed his forehead to the front of the sink.

"I'm so sorry, Eren," he whispered brokenly before plunging the monster back into his bloodstream.

~Eren~

The inviting scent of pizza cheerfully met Eren's nose as he entered his home that evening. Kicking his shoes off, he shuffled into the kitchen to find Mikasa hunched over her school books, alternating between studying and taking bites of the pizza from the plate off to the side.

"Hey," he said. "Where's Mom?"

"Upstairs," the girl answered absently.

Eren was halfway to the stairs when Carla came down. She greeted him with a smile. "Hello, Eren."

"Hey Mom," he mumbled.

"I ordered pizza for dinner. Your favorite kind, too." She waved him toward the kitchen and he followed, feeling slightly confused.

"Why pizza? I thought you were gonna make steak tonight..."

"I know, but I decided to change it up for once. Dig in!"

He complied. He couldn't really argue with pizza - it was kind of a rarity around his house. He took a seat in his normal spot at the table and was halfway through his first slice when he noticed the plastic cases stacked next to the napkin holder. Curiously, he plucked one up and read the title of the movie, and then the other.

"What is all this, Mom?" he asked, slightly frowning.

"It's Friday and I've noticed you've been having a hard time lately. I thought I could do something to cheer you up, and I know how much you love pizza and movies."

The teen couldn't help but be surprised at these gestures she'd obviously gone out of her way for. Sure, she was the best mother in the history of humankind, but even this seemed out of the norm for her.

"Well thanks...but you didn't have to do that."

"I know. I did because I wanted to."

"O-okay..."

After dinner, Carla insisted Mikasa put her books up for the night and they all gather in the living room to watch the movies. Eren was grateful she'd picked one of his favorites so he had something easy to focus on.

After it ended, Mikasa announced that she was going to bed and disappeared upstairs. Eren plucked up the other DVD, asking, "Do you wanna watch this one now?"

Carla moved from her place in the recliner to the couch next to him in the spot Mikasa had so recently occupied. "Sure, if you want to." She looked at him very seriously. "But first I think we should talk."

Surprised, he asked, "About what?" He turned to face her, pulling one leg up onto the couch.

"Armin called this afternoon," she began. "He said he's worried about you...because your depression is hitting you hard right now."

Eren sighed and let his forehead fall upon his knee. "I told him not to worry about it."

"That's what he said, but I think he's right to worry about it. And I'm worried about it, too."

"It's nothing, Mom. It happens sometimes. I'll be fine."

"I know you'll be fine. You're strong...but I also think this time it's too much for you to handle on your own. You should tell someone about what's got you so down. Getting it off your chest might help."

"I already tried that. Didn't work."

"Well, Armin also pointed out that he noticed this started just after Christmas...right when you broke things off with Le-"

"Don't say his name," Eren cut in through his teeth. "I-It's not him."

He felt the couch shift and when he looked up, his mother had moved closer. She placed her warm, soft hand over his and gave him a small knowing smile. "Eren, darling, denying it is only going to make things worse. Armin knows, I know, and you know that's exactly what it is."

The teen clenched his teeth and averted his eyes to the side. He had nothing to say to that. Not only did he hate lying to his mother, it was futile - she saw right through him every time.

"You really care for him, don't you?" she asked, squeezing his hand. "I can see it in your eyes."

"It doesn't matter, though," he muttered. "He's addicted to heroin...it's only a matter of time before..." He shook his head hard, hair flying. "I can't go through that again."

"But is that just something you're telling yourself because you're afraid?"

"I don't know..."

"Eren, I only want what's best for you. And you and I both know this isn't it."

"Then what is?"

"I think that's for you to decide. You're a perfectly capable adult. You don't need your old mom telling you how to live your life."

Eren went back to burying his face in his knee. "But I don't know what to do," he mumbled in a shaky tenor. "He's bad, Mom. You should've seen all of the scars on his arm...I can't imagine what the rest of him looks like. It scares me because I don't know what he might do...if he'll turn out just like Dad or what."

He felt the warm, familiar embrace of his mother go around him and her voice was suddenly in his ear. "Then he needs help, Eren. You told me he doesn't really talk to anybody but his sister, right?"

"Yeah, and even she doesn't see him much. But he could be out there getting worse, doing other drugs or a number of other things."

"Then find him, Eren. You care, don't you? You even love this man."

Eren stopped short. She'd brought that up again...yet it struck a chord in him. That was when his internal dam burst and let everything escape, everything he'd been holding in over the past several weeks, all of those emotions he bore strictly for Levi flooding out like a herd of wild animals that had been caged for much too long. And he decided that yes, he did in fact, love the junkie.

This sucks major balls, he thought glumly to himself.

"I-I guess so," he mumbled out loud.

Carla sat back just enough to tilt her son's chin up so he would meet her gaze. She was completely sincere in the way it radiated off of her and in her next words.

"Then go. Find him. Help him the way I couldn't help your father. Before it's too late, Eren. You know what you have to do if you love him the way you seem to."

His moist turquoise eyes widened. "But-"

She shook her head, eyes closed. "No. It will only make things worse if you stay here and let him get worse. It will hurt more if you find out he's done something permanent and you didn't at least try to help him. You'll blame yourself and spend the rest of your life wondering what you could've possibly done different, what you could've done to save him, and it'll never go away."

Eren felt the truth in her words in his very soul, coursing through his veins like his own kind of drug. And suddenly everything snapped into perspective, terrified as he was.

"But what if it's already too late?" he asked brokenly, one of those traitor tears escaping down his hot cheek.

Carla caught it with the pad of her thumb. "It isn't. I can feel it."

"But how am I supposed to help him? I don't know how..." He trailed off, frowning and shaking his head.

"Believe me when I say that when you see him, you'll know exactly what to do. And I'm always just a phone call away."

With a deep breath, Eren put on his best game face and nodded. "Thank you, Mom. I'd be totally lost without you."

The woman grinned. "I'm your mom, it's what I'm here for."