Chapter 3: Cozy Patience
One of the simple joys in Sana's life was knowing that Mina would be waiting for her after a long day of school and work. On particularly tiring days, greeting Mina at home was like falling into the comforts of a freshly made bed, warm and calm and inviting.
Tonight was one of those tiring days where Sana was in desperate need of Mina's soothing presence. It was nearly midnight as Sana dragged herself up the last flight of stairs toward their apartment. Sana was tired enough to collapse right there in the hallway for a well-needed bout of sleep, but she held herself together for just a few more moments because she knew Mina was waiting up for her just on the other side of their apartment door.
Sana composed her expression before going inside, not wanting Mina to see the full extent of tonight's stress on her face. She then entered with a bright, "I'm home!", but she stopped mid-sentence when she noticed Mina fast asleep on the sofa.
The TV was on, a steaming mug of coffee sat on the coffee table, and a heavy textbook rested on Mina's chest. Sana smiled at the scene, a gentle warmth building in her heart because she knew that Mina had tried her best to wait up for Sana. The affectionate smile on Sana's face continued to grow as she made her way over to Mina and covered her with a blanket, textbook and all.
Mina looked adorable curled up on their tiny sofa, but Sana wished Mina's expression looked more peaceful as she slept. The younger girl's brow was furrowed in a slight grimace and Sana kissed her forehead gently, once and then twice, feeling a little better when Mina's expression relaxed a bit.
Peaceful sleep was rare for Mina over the past month. It was almost the end of the first semester of senior year, and Mina had fallen behind in her classes despite studying non-stop since the start of the year. Sana remembered coming home one night after class a few weeks ago and finding Mina lying under the covers in bed, a classic sign of Mina feeling overwhelmed with stress. Sana had witnessed this under-the-covers phenomenon since before they were teenagers, wherein Mina literally tried to hide herself from the world when the world became too stressful to bear.
As Sana approached their bed, she could hear Mina crying under the blanket and her heart ached with sympathy, but she knew there was no point in asking Mina what was bothering her right now.
Patience was the key.
So as patiently as the first time Sana waited to kiss Mina on the playground as kids, as patiently as waiting until they were teenagers to kiss more deeply and waiting until they were adults to sleep together for the first time, Sana quietly climbed into her side of their bed, wrapped an arm gently around Mina's waist, and murmured a reassuring, "It's OK Mittang, I'm here for you."
It took about ten minutes for Mina's crying to turn into light sniffles and hiccuppy silence as Sana held her gently. It was only at that point that Sana started trying to coax Mina out of her hiding place, delaying Mina's explanation for just a while longer until Mina was ready to talk about what was wrong.
"Do you want something to drink, Mittang? How about a cup of chamomile tea or some hot chocolate?"
There was a mumble from under the blanket that Sana couldn't quite understand. The older girl strained her ears to catch Mina's words. "What did you say?"
Mina mumbled another response, something that sounded vaguely like "marshmallow".
"Hot chocolate with marshmallows?" Sana guessed. She pushed herself off the bed. "Coming right up!"
As she turned to leave for the kitchen, Sana felt a gentle tug on the hem of her shirt. She turned back to find that Mina had emerged from under the blanket, her eyes red and puffy and stained with tears, yet somehow more beautiful than ever. Mina looked up at Sana with eyes full of sadness and repeated her answer more clearly. "...marshmallow kiss."
Sana smiled affectionately at Mina, unable to refuse such a simple request. She sat down on the edge of their bed and tenderly brushed the hair from Mina's face before placing one soft marshmallow kiss to Mina's lips, then two and then three, over and over again one kiss at a time, like how they used to kiss as kids when they were still innocent, when life was still simple. Sana wondered if Mina was trying to recapture that simple life from before they had to worry about paying rent, passing classes, and preparing for their future careers.
A dozen kisses passed and then a dozen more. Twenty five kisses, twenty six. Sana's lips trailed away from Mina's, scattering kisses all over her face. Twenty seven, twenty eight, her forehead and her cheek. Twenty nine, thirty, thirty one, thirty two, the moles on her face.
"I'll kiss you until you tell me to stop," Sana murmured gently, finding her way back to Mina's lips. Thirty three, thirty four. "I'll kiss you until you smile for me." Thirty five, thirty six. "I'll kiss you until my lips melt into yours and we're stuck together forever."
Thirty seven. And finally, a faint smile grew on Mina's lips from Sana's silly promise and a kiss that was softer than a marshmallow.
Sana wrapped her arms tightly around Mina, hugging her without any demands, without needing to know what was wrong or whether she was feeling better or not. It was simply a hug of reassurance, exactly what Mina needed.
"Sattang, I don't know what to do," Mina mumbled into Sana's shoulder.
"About what?"
"My classes."
Sana listened patiently as Mina told her about falling behind in two of her law classes, undoubtedly her most important classes this semester, after unexpectedly and uncharacteristically scoring poorly on her last tests despite countless nights of studying. The pressure of having to do makeup work and needing to ace the upcoming papers and finals to keep up her grades was just too much to bear.
Sana stroked Mina's hair reassuringly as she held her girlfriend. "I know it's a lot, Mittang, but you can do it. I believe in you."
"But there's no time to do everything I need to do," Mina sniffled. And it was true. In between Mina's other grueling classes and Mina's part time job, Mina and Sana barely had any time for each other lately. Sana couldn't imagine how Mina was going to squeeze any extra work or studying into her existing schedule.
"Then we make time," Sana decided. "Quit your job until the end of the semester and just focus on school."
Mina shook her head quickly. "I can't do that. We need the money. We can't make rent on just your part time job."
"We have some money saved up," Sana said reasonably with a smile. "I'll take on double shifts at my job until the end of the semester. With that and our savings, we'll have more than enough to cover rent."
"You can't. You have school, too!" Mina argued, but Sana's confidence was unshakable. She knew Mina was stressed by the entire situation, but Sana felt no added pressure at the idea of doubling her part time shifts to allow Mina more time to study.
"I can handle it, I promise. My classes are nowhere near as difficult as yours," Sana insisted.
"But--"
Sana hugged Mina firmly, cutting the younger girl off mid-argument because there were times when her fiercely independent and self-sufficient Mina needed help, when she needed Sana to remind her that they needed to rely on each other instead of struggling alone.
"You can and you will leave the income to me for the rest of the semester, OK? I want to do this for you--for us."
Mina pulled back from the hug, the immense guilt evident on her face, but there were times when she needed to remember how strong Sana really was, how much Sana was willing to do and to sacrifice for them, that they needed to rely on each other instead of struggling alone.
Sana gently leaned in to Mina for another marshmallow kiss that melted into a lollipop kiss, slow and tender and loving. "Mittang... you don't have to feel bad, OK? Just remember that I do these things because I love you."
Mina smiled at last and took a deep, cleansing breath. "Thank you, Sattang. I love you, too."
Since that night, life felt like it had hurtled along at breakneck speeds without pause for both of them. Mina spent every spare moment of every day studying and doing school work while Sana spent every spare moment outside of class at her part-time job, trying to provide for them. And even though Sana had willingly taken on the extra burden, she would be lying if she said that the extra shifts weren't exhausting.
But they were finally in the last few days of chaos with the end of the semester nearly in sight. In about a week, Mina's finals would be over and Sana could cut back to her regular work schedule. Until then, as Sana tucked Mina in on their tiny sofa, Sana knew she could continue to work these late night shifts for Mina's sake.
Sana went to the kitchen and microwaved the plate of Japanese curry that Mina had prepared for her dinner. Normally Sana would eat her late dinner on the sofa while chatting with Mina, but tonight she took her plate over to the coffee table and sat on the floor, watching Mina sleep as she ate.
Sana quietly took in the beauty of Mina's perfect lips, Mina's perfect moles, Mina's perfect mix of kindness and playfulness and vulnerability and strength. Mina began to snore lightly in her sleep, and Sana had to hold back a loud laugh at how out-of-place the snoring seemed for an elegant princess like Mina.
It was peaceful moments like these that gave Sana the strength to do whatever she needed to do in order to give Mina the world. The extra shifts that Sana was working right now was definitely a sacrifice on Sana's part, but it was also a long term investment. Because Mina's success in the present meant that they would both have an easier life in the future when they got married and Mina succeeded in her dreams of becoming a lawyer.
Sana paused as she pushed away her empty dinner plate, realizing that this was the first time she ever imagined a real future with Mina. She had never thought about it before, the idea of marrying Mina and sharing a life together. They had been together ever since they were kids, best friends turned lovers, so it was very natural for Sana to imagine being with Mina forever, but she had never put it in terms of marrying Mina, of being Mina's wife.
Was it a strange thought, Sana wondered to herself. She had no clue. They had never discussed the idea of marriage before, so Sana didn't know what Mina thought of their future either aside from their sincere yet vague promises to be with each other always.
Sana mulled over the future as she placed her plate in the sink and then took a quick shower with Mina sleeping all the while. The future seemed so simple whenever she had thought about wanting to be with Mina, but it was suddenly more difficult when she thought about what "being with Mina" really meant.
"I'm still such a child," Sana mumbled to herself as she walked back into the living room in her pajamas. Despite being 21, Sana couldn't consider herself to be an adult yet. She was still a long way from being someone who could take care of Mina properly, but she wanted to learn to be that person one day. For now though, Sana decided to shelve the topic of "the future" for just a little while longer.
"Mittang~," Sana whispered gently. She leaned down and kissed Mina's forehead. "Wakey wakey."
Mina groggily lifted her head. "Sana...?" she asked before wrapping her arms around the older girl, pulling her back onto the sofa. "Welcome home, Sattang. Did I fall asleep?"
Sana giggled, pulling the heavy textbook on Mina's chest out from between them. "If you weren't asleep, you were snoring pretty loudly for an awake person."
Mina pouted and slapped Sana lightly on the arm. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. Was work OK? Did you eat yet? Did you shower yet?"
"Yes, yes, yes, and yes," Sana replied to Mina's questions.
"I only asked three questions, though," Mina yawned. "What's the last 'yes' for?"
"I figured you were wondering whether I had missed you while I was at work. So my answer is 'yes'," Sana explained cheekily.
Mina rolled her eyes. "How about 'yes' for: 'do you wanna shut up and take me to bed'?"
Sana laughed as she felt Mina slide a hand into hers. Without another word, Sana led her sleepy princess to their tiny bed for a well deserved night of sleep.
"And Sattang? My answer is 'yes', too."
"Hmm?" Sana wondered as they climbed into bed. "What was my question?"
Sana couldn't see it, but she felt Mina smirking at her in the darkness. "The question is whatever you want it to be."
Mina's soft snoring filled the room moments later and Sana fell asleep soon after, but not before thinking, "would the answer still be 'yes' if I asked her to marry me?"
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