The buzz of the florescent desk lamp fills the empty silence of my room, insulating and isolating me from all other sound except for the muffled mutterings of the TV in the other room. Dad managed to avoid staying late at work again and he and mom are currently cuddled on the couch. Those two have been getting all lovey-dovey lately. Recently, mom even joked about the possibility of providing me with a brother or sister. At her age, it's not the sort of thing one should be joking about.

A textbook lies on my desk, bathed in a cold blue light that fails to offer even the tiniest bit of warmth. The book is for my class on classical Japanese literature. I'm sure Shizuku would have an interesting and unique opinion on the subject. I look up at the ceiling. For some reason, I'm anticipating the familiar ripping sound of a hole being torn through the barrier separating this world from Yomi.

My desk lamp buzzes uselessly.

Nothing.

"How did you know she needed you?"

I never found the words to explain. How could I? Me and a shinigami? Who could explain our strange association? There's no way she would have believed me. No one would have. In her place, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have.

She had clung to me so desperately, her hand so warm and soft... The sensation had been startling.

I think I knew it had been her from the start—even before I heard the subterranean voice. Something told me she needed me, or perhaps I had only wanted it to be that way.

She had been a person once. Someday, she might be again. The change had begun when she started to remember her past.

Who was she?

I open my laptop and wake it from its sleep. There's no way I can study tonight anyway.

Izu...Izo...or was it Isa...something?

I type the katakana for every variation I can think of. Nothing. My faint surge of hope fades. I stubbornly try random kanji knowing it will be useless.

I sigh. Guess she's not coming tonight. The buzzing light grows irritating. I might as well go to bed. Perhaps tomorrow I'll remember the name. Or, perhaps she will. I never got the chance to ask her about it. I hope she comes to class tomorrow. I shut the laptop, close the book and switch off the lamp.

"Do you have any idea of how I feel?"

What will I say to Kyoko? She seems determined to keep her word. After all, back in the classroom, she did make that public declaration of her trust in me no matter what. It may have allowed her to save face at the time. I wonder if she regrets it now.

* * *

"Ohayo Goszaimasu." I give the customary greeting to no one in particular as I enter the classroom. Shizuku is at her desk, leaning on an elbow, staring pensively out of the window. For her, the gesture is unnaturally natural. What could she possibly be thinking about?

"Ohayo, Michi-kun," Shimura says.

"Ohay—" I turn toward her.

Kyoko is sitting behind her watching me. "Ohayo."

"Ohayo." I suppress a twinge of guilt though I don't know why. It's not like I left her waiting by herself at the school's gate this morning. We had been meeting there and walking to homeroom together since we continued dating. Kyoko had wanted to make certain everyone knew that everything between us was good. Still, I didn't know what to expect when I next saw her today. "I missed you."

Kyoko makes a small bow. "Gomenasai. Matsumoto-sensei asked me to come early to discuss yearbook. I was so tired I forgot to message you. Forgive me?"

"Of course. It was nothing," I mutter.

"I do need someone to walk me home. Can you help me?"

"I'll be happy to."

Shimura turns around in her seat. "Why were you so tired?"

"I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Something wrong?"

With an uncertain expression, Kyoko's gaze shoots sideways at me as if to see if I'm listening, before darting back. She shrugs. "Not really. I just had a lot on my mind."

Grasping for a diversion, I notice Himura is not at her desk. "Where is Himura-san?"

Shimura's expression clouds over. "I don't know. I haven't heard from her since the sports festival. I tried calling A-chan several times on Sunday, but she never answered.

Yamada leans her curly head into the conversation. "I heard they had a fight."

"Where did you hear that?" Kyoko asks.

"Someone from Akiyama's homeroom said she caught him two-timing her."

At the mention of the sport's festival, I turn my face away. Unfortunately, I look directly at the strangely thoughtful Shizuku and hastily look elsewhere. Then I remember I wanted to ask her about that name. Perhaps I can get away from Kyoko and get Shizuku alone long enough to ask.

The classroom door opens and we scurry back to our desks. The class president calls us to attention and we rise, bow and greet the teacher as he enters. It doesn't take long for the usual bored lethargy to overcome me. In my fight to stay awake, I doodle variations of the name I thought I heard in my notebook. I even sneak out my history book and flip through the index hoping to see a name that might jog my memory.

Near the end of fourth period, an announcement comes over the school's speaker system calling our teacher to the staffroom. Since there are only fifteen minutes left in the period, the teacher declares the rest of the hour a free study period. As soon as she's gone, everyone pulls out their games or magazines or even their lunches since it's almost noon.

Yamamoto and Uchida, two of the less popular girls in the class, slip quietly over to Shizuku's desk where they fidget and wait for the distracted Shizuku to notice them.

Yamamoto clears her throat. "Shizuku-san, would you like to eat lunch with us?"

Shizuku looks up at them in surprise. Her's was not the only head to turn toward that conversation. "OK."

"We've wanted to ask you for a while," Uchida says, "but we didn't know if you might be interested since we never see you eat."

Shizuku reaches into her book bag and pulls out an enormous plastic-wrapped onigiri. She gives the rice ball a surprised look. "I haven't been hungry until now."

I watch her join the other two at their desks when a shadow falls over me.

"Michi-kun?" Kyoko stands with her hands folded before her and gives me a small bow. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to make our lunch. Would you mind buying us some bread? I brought money, but I usually can't get to the front of the line before the good ones are gone."

"Don't worry about it." I rise and look at the clock realizing I can leave early and get there before anyone else. "I brought money."

"Are you sure?"

"Isn't it a boyfriend's prerogative?"

"I suppose." Kyoko blushes. "Oh! Do you know what I want?"

I call back over my shoulder as I head for the door. "Melon bread?"

She smiles. "You remembered."

"Of course."

I leave and get Kyoko her melon bread and some yakisoba bread for myself. We eat and chat and everything seems normal again. I certainly didn't expect this after the sports festival. Though puzzled, I manage to get through the day without screwing anything up with Kyoko. It's only at the end that I remember that I wanted to ask Shizuku about the name. She's gone back to staring at the window. I hastily look away as Kyoko come over to my desk.

"Michi-kun. Could you help me with something?"

"Uh, sure."

"I have a bunch of old yearbooks I need to carry home. Can you help me?"

I nod obligingly, though I can't imagine why she would be carrying old yearbooks home. Still, I've been skipping clubs for weeks now and have no idea what Matsumoto-sensei might have told her. The thought makes me feel unexpectedly estranged from her.

* * *

We walk together in silence. The distance to her house is longer than I remember. The two boxes of books, which hadn't seemed heavy when I—in my manly bravado—offered to carry them both, have increased in weight. I grit my teeth and try to suppress the tremble in my arms even as the boxes keep sliding to the edge of my sweating fingers.

"Come inside," Kyoko insists when we stop at her door.

I only want to relieve my aching arms by dropping these boxes as fast as possible. But I'm also wondering, if I hurry back, might I be able to catch Shizuku. "OK."

"I'm home!" Kyoko calls out as she kicks off her shoes.

"Pardon the intrusion," I say changing into house slippers.

Kyoko's mother steps out of the kitchen wearing an apron and looking gorgeous, with perfect hair and perfect makeup like a perfect TV mom. "Oh Michi-kun! It's so good to see you again."

"Hello, Fukui-san."

"Call me Okasan," she reminds me. "We're all Fukui's here."

I nod with a slight apologetic bow. "Okasan," I repeat, though it feels weird calling another woman mother.

She looks at Kyoko. "Though that may change someday..."

Kyoko's turns red. "Mother!"

"Since you're here, you must stay for dinner."

"Uh, I don't know if my mom..."

She smiles warmly. "Don't worry about that. I'll call her. I'm sure it will be OK. You two go run upstairs until the food is ready."

Kyoko leads me up to her room, closes the door and takes off her school jacket and tie. "I got a new dress yesterday. Would you like to see it?"

"Sure." I've been in here a few times, but my pulse still quickens at being in a girl's room.

She starts unbuttoning her shirt. "OK, but you have to turn around."

"What are you doing?" I close my eyes and cover them in case I'm tempted to peek. The color of various girls' underwear is the subject of much speculation among some of the boys.

"Changing of course."

"But I'm in here!"

"I trust you."

I hear the sound of clothes sliding off her body and bolt from the room. She chuckles behind me. I close the door and lean back on it gasping, trying not to imagine what in only her bra and panties. A small but growing voice inside me says, You should have looked. She actually wanted you to.

I've already seen her in a bathing suit, I argue back to myself.

All the more reason to look.

"You can come in now." The amusement in Kyoko's voice has an almost musical quality to it.

I crack open the door and peer cautiously inside.

"What do you think?"

Her dress has a mature and sophisticated look to it. It shows off her chest without being too revealing. The length, however, is very short, revealing athletic thighs that seem to keep going up and up.

"Wow."

"I hoped you would like it. I bought it with you in mind."

She gives a happy twirl and I catch a glimpse of white cotton panties with scattered red strawberries. I could think of half a dozen guys at school that would kill to know this, but there is no way I could tell anyone. This is all just for me.

Kyoko's mom calls upstairs. "Dinner's ready."

I follow close behind Kyoko's flouncing skirt as she scampers down the stairs.

Her dad is in the living room reading a paper. "Hello, Michi-kun. Long time no see."

"Hello, Otosan."

"You should come by more often. I think Makoto misses you."

Kyoko's mom smiles as she brings the food to the table. "I do."

"Itadakimasu!"

We dig into the food which is as good as anything I've eaten at a restaurant. We laugh and talk and it feels like the first days when Kyoko and I started dating, back before the breakup. After the meal, we end up in the living room talking.

"We've been talking to your parents," Kyoko's father says. "They both say they can take time off from work around Christmas."

"Christmas?" I repeat, not sure I heard him correctly. With Kyoko snuggled up next to me on the couch, hugging my arm so that her soft breasts press up against me, I'm finding it hard to concentrate.

"How would you like to go on a ski trip with us?"

Kyoko sits up straight and nearly dislocates my shoulder. "Really?"

I know Kyoko's family is well-off, but my parents are not. Even with two incomes, a lot of our money goes to Atarachi High School's tuition and fees. "Is that OK?

"Your parents loved the idea," Kyoko's mother says. "They're looking forward to it."

Kyoko bounces next to me, her eyes sparkling. It'll be such fun!"

"But won't that be expensive?"

"Not as much as you think." Kyoko's father leans back and crosses his legs.

"Otosan's company owns a small cabin in the mountains which they sometimes let certain managers use," Kyoko's mother says proudly.

The idea of going off with Kyoko for a few days, maybe even seeing her in a tight sweater, is too good to pass up. "Sounds like fun."

We chat excitedly, planning the trip. Time passes and when I check it, it is nearly my usual bedtime. "Ah! I should go. It's getting late."

"Must you?" Kyoko clings to me. "You haven't visited in so long."

"It's late and we have school tomorrow."

"I wish you could stay."

"You should be getting ready for bed too," Kyoko's mom tells her.

"I'll walk you to the door, then."

"It is late. I should drive you." Kyoko's father uncrosses her legs and starts to rise.

"That's OK," I say. "there's no need to do that for me."

Kyoko's mom holds onto his arm and nods to us. "Let them go."

"Very well. Take care and stay safe."

I rise and bow. "Thank you for having me over."

"Please come back again." Kyoko's mom says.

"I will."

Kyoko pulls me to the door. "I'll be back in a minute."

We put on our shoes and step out into the chilly night air of early autumn. The air is still and the only sound I hear is the chirping of crickets.

"The cultural festival is right around the corner," Kyoko says. "I know our friends will be there but I want to see it alone with you."

"I do too."

We stop at the front gate and she pulls me into the shadow of the gate post. "There's a legend that any couple that goes to the bonfire dance that night will stay together forever."

The only thing I know is that most of those couples sneak off into the darkness to make out...or sometimes something more. "Then we'll have to do that." I smile at her but her expression is serious and she lowers her gaze.

"I have to apologize."

"For what?"

She hesitates. "I know now that the trouble we've had is my fault."

"Why do you say that?"

She continues to stare into the darkness at her feet. "Boys...have certain needs..."

"What are you talking about?"

She rises up, her face abruptly close to mine. "I haven't been doing my job." Her arms snake around me and pull me tight against her. I feel each of her generous breasts press back against my chest.

Her manicured nails slide up the back of my neck and grab my hair. She pulls my head down toward her and her warm soft lips fasten on mine in a furious embrace. They grab at me with the desperate urgency of a need long unmet. Her tongue slips into my mouth entwining with my own as if we could enfold the deepest parts of ourselves together.

I wrap my arms around her narrow waist, my hands sliding up her sides. Our chests heave together as we fight for breath. Mine aches from the frenzied staccato of my heart.

She heaves a deep gasping sigh and her hand relaxes its grip on my hair. She sinks into my arms and we cling together as the world goes spinning away.

This beautiful and sexy girl is my girlfriend. I don't know how it's possible, but Kyoko loves me. I may not be able to explain what love is, but there is not even the slightest question in my mind that it exists and that we possess it.

Her lips slowly part from mine. Her eyes remain closed as if she is caught in a dream. "Michi-kun..." With her hand braced against my chest, she slumps forward, leaning her head on my shoulder as if she can barely stand.

I hold her, supporting her as she breaths. After a moment of quiet joy, she looks up at me in wonder, the pupils of her eyes as wide as the night sky. "Michi-kun..." My name, whispers from her mouth on the ghost of a breath. Overwhelmed by a desire to touch her, I brush her hair behind her ear. "Kyoko-chan."

She looks up at me and a dreamy smile drifts across her face. "I'll make you forget about her and everyone else. I want you to only look at me."

I have no idea who she is talking about and, at the moment, I really don't care.