Part 1

The image of that bloody ghost haunts me for days. Or, perhaps I should say nights, for during the day, I go about my daily life in a thick fog, walking from home to school and back again hardly noticing the others around me. But at night, that woman's spirit keeps asking, "Who is going to make this right?" and the blood-soaked corpse of the man on the couch opens its eyes and mouth and says through un-moving lips, "There is no love, only madness."

Even more haunting, Shizuku's pensive expression remains. The realization that she had once been a person seems to have shocked her as much as it shocks me. She keeps her word and leaves me alone, ignoring me at school and not visiting me at night and yet, even in class, I find myself looking across the school desks at that wondering expression. It is the look of someone trying to understand the world around her. It is the look of a lost soul.

Could it truly be that she was once human? Could she have once been like that woman asking who is going to make this right? I think back to the accident, the smashed glass, the mangled bodies, the stench of blood thick in the air and that dark, vast, yawning emptiness trying to swallow it all up. The shinigami had seemed more like a force of nature, Shizuku's form no more than a mask covering an impersonal force, aware of only its need and guided by no more than an animal cunning.

Even the other students notice her change in demeanor. Hanashita and her friends whisper behind their hands, staring at her trading skeptical looks. The stream of boys asking her out trails off as she fails to respond to their invitations to go out to eat, or see a movie, or go karaoke. Normally someone who chooses to stand apart from the group would be mocked and badgered until they made some effort to conform, but the boys, at least, actually look concerned.

It is Wednesday morning and I'm staring into space as our homeroom teacher calls out our names to see who is present. I haven't slept more than a few minutes at a time for several nights now so Watanabe has to kick my chair leg to let me know when sensei calls my name.

"Amesutchi-san?" he repeats.

"Here." I fade back into my semi-comatose state.

"Shizuku-san?" Takasagi-sensei pauses and looks up from the class roster. Everyone suddenly sits up as if they had also been drifting off to sleep.

I look at her empty desk, my gaze colliding with the rest of the class's. Could she have given up and returned to Yomi or wherever shinigami come from? What about—I look to Kioko, suddenly wanting to reassure myself that she's OK. She is trading looks with Himura, her expression mildly curious.

Hanashita looks at her friends and giggles.

"Has anyone seen her?" Takasagi-sensei holds her with his gaze.

Hanashita fights back a grin. "I saw her outside the school this morning. Perhaps she's sick?"

Takasagi-sensei looks to the classroom's health officer. "Go to the nurse's office after homeroom and see if she's here."

"Yes, Sensei."

Takasagi-sensei makes a note in the roster and returns to calling out names.

Shizuku still hasn't returned by lunchtime and I spend the intervening hours wondering where she can be and what could have happened to her. I don't think she is likely to give up and disappear. She seems too stubborn for that. Nor can I imagine any real harm befalling her. She is a shinigami after all, though, with the exception of her unnatural perfection, her body seems entirely human. Still, I don't know if she can use any of her powers on a person who isn't dying.

I picture that too-perfect face, wondering how she looked when she was alive and if it was anything like how she looks now. I wonder how old she was at the time. I wonder how long ago she died. I wonder how she died...

Someone loudly and deliberately clears her throat. Himura is giving me a look of mock exasperation. Shimura wears a thin smile, the sort of smile that is more of a warning than anything else. Kioko frowns at me with a speculative expression. Everyone has opened their bentos and started lunch. I get up and move my desk over.

"So kind of you to join us," Shimura says in a formal register, though her teasing smile softens her words.

Himura's look is one of bemused suspicion. "What were you thinking so hard about? We've been trying to get your attention for a while now."

I glance at Kioko and blush, this time from guilt. Fortunately, they don't take it that way.

Himura laughs. "What could you possibly be daydreaming about that could be more interesting that having her here in front of you?"

Shimura answers her friend with a smirk and a suggestive lift of her eyebrows. "I bet we could guess."

This time, I do blush from embarrassment. Kioko's expression softens, then she blushes as their suggestions appear to sink in. We open our bentos and everyone has to comment on how nice each other's lunch looks. Kioko plucks a pickled plum from her rice with her chopsticks and holds it out for me to eat.

I recoil, and not just from the intimacy of being fed. "Ugh, I hate umeboshi."

"Come on," Kioko urges teasingly.

"You know I don't like sour things."

"But it's good for you and it will help your digestion."

She pokes it at my mouth and I'm forced to lean back and turn my face away. "My digestion is fine." It stops being amusing after about thirty seconds yet she insists, obviously expecting me to give in. I wonder if she's punishing me for ignoring her before. I force myself not to slap it away, but I wonder if I'll offend them if I just up and leaving.

"Come on. It's just a little bite."

Fortunately, I'm saved by a huge uproar outside. A bunch of people are shouting in the courtyard between the school's two wings. All of us look up and at least half of our class involuntarily leaps for the windows. The high-pitched sound of girls squealing "Waa! Sugoi ne!" rises up to our room.

Hanashita, stuck at the back of the crush, is trying to look over the shoulders of taller people. "What is it?"

I push my way through, happy to have escaped my lunch-time fate, and lean around Yamazuki to get a glimpse below. A bunch of students have gathered around the fountain. Some guy is kneeling next to it while a girl turns in a slow circle, showing something to the surrounding crowd. The squeals rise up in a wave as it passes by.

I window bangs open in a neighboring classroom and someone shouts, "What's going on down there!" but I can't make out the echoing reply shouted up from below.

Hanashita drags a chair over and stands on it to get a better view. She practically climbs on top of Watanabe.

"Is that the vice president?" Yamazuki asks.

"You mean ex-vice president, Hanashita sneers. They kicked her off the student council because of her behavior. There's even a rumor that her gaijin boyfriend is living with her."

Watanabe looks back at Hanashita who is practically lying over one of his broad shoulders. "Isn't he an exchange student? Maybe they are his host family."

"They don't match boys with girl students," Hanashita's friend Ikeda replies.

Hanashita shakes her head scornfully. "She's so embarrassing."

Shimura stands back peering around the edge of the window. "She's just happy."

Hanashita's nose wrinkles in disgust. "But does she have to be so public about it? I mean she was kissing him on the practice field."

Ikeda-san looks gleefully scandalized. "Really? Did you see it?"

Hanashita hops off the chair and people begin returning to their seats as nothing further seems to be happening below. "No, but everyone knows about it. I hear she was completely disgusting."

"It is unseemly," Kioko mutters.

Shimura takes a last thoughtful look out the window. "She was just very lonely until now."

"Lonely?" Hanashita scoffs. "She's the most popular girl in our year."

"And that's why she was lonely." Shimura returns a crooked smile, but her eyes look a little sad. She leaves the window and returns to her lunch.

"Speaking of embarrassingly public," Himura leans toward us with a tooth-baring grin. "When are you two next going out?"

Kioko gives me a curious look. "I didn't want to say anything, but I've been wondering that myself."

A small tingle of panic rises up in me. Did I somehow screw up? Did I miss some expectation I don't know about? It's true that we haven't had an "official" date in a while, but it's not like we don't see each other all the time, both in and out of school. "Um, er, are you free this Sunday?"

Kioko beams at me. "Why yes."

"Would you like to go out?"

"Certainly."

I feel like I'm following some sort of script that everyone but me has read. I try to guess what's supposed to come next, but I'm stuck. I'm still not exactly sure what a boyfriend is expected to do. "What would you like to do?"

Kioko shoots Himura and Shimura an embarrassed look. "I can't tell you! Then it wouldn't be a surprise. Deciding those things is your job."

"Ah. How about dinner?"

"Sure."

"Do you like ramen?"

"But not ramen. Ramen is fine by itself, but a date should be something special, don't you think so?"

My mind whirls. I've never given restaurants much thought. Our family doesn't eat out that much and when we do we tend to go to the same, reliable, family-oriented places. "OK. I think there's a family restaurant not too far from my house."

Kioko's face scrunches up as if tasting something bad. "That's not very romantic."

I look about the classroom, desperately searching for inspiration and try to swallow my growing panic.

"What kind of food do you like?" Shimura asks helpfully.

"Well," Kioko looks away then returns with a bashful smile. "I do like pasta."

"Of course! Italian." I sigh in relief then turn pleading eyes on Himura and Shimura as a new stab of fear hits me. "Um, does anyone know any good Italian restaurants?"

Himura laughs at my plight.

I look down at my half-eaten lunch. "You're no help."

"I'm sorry," Himura says, chuckling and waving her hand dismissively. "How about Torino's."

Kioko doesn't bother to look up from her food. "That's a pizza place."

"But they have pasta too."

"Some, but it's a very limited selection and I don't think it's authentic Italian. It's certainly not like D'onofrio's."

Shimura looks interested. "Really? Where's that? I haven't heard of that one."

"It's a very nice restaurant near the Takashimaya shopping center."

Where I spent all my money, I think, but don't say out loud.

Himura pauses with her drink halfway to her mouth. "Sounds pretty upscale."

Kioko shrugs. "Perhaps a bit, but it's definitely worth it."

"Is that where you want to go?" I ask.

Kioko smiles sweetly at me. "It's up to you."

Himura puts her drink down with a satisfied sigh. "Well, that settles that then." She turns to Shimura. "So what are you doing this Sunday?"

Kioko continues looking at me and tilts her head inquiringly. "Is that all?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm hoping we can spend some time together, but if we just eat, it won't take very much time."

"Ah, how about a movie?" Isn't dinner and a movie customary?

Kioko leans in close and I catch a whiff of her perfume. My heart starts to accelerate. "Whatever you want."

"Um, I think Wild Speed 8 is showing at Cinema One."

"Not an action flick, I think. Wouldn't it be better to watch something to put us in a romantic mood?"

Her face is suddenly very close. I'm finding it hard to breathe. It feels almost like she's about to kiss me right here in the classroom and I can't pull away. She's certainly within range. I wonder what Hanashita would say then.

I swallow hard. "I suppose we can find one."

"If nothing else, we can see A Young Man's Life."

All I know about that movie is, that despite the title, it's a chick flick based on a josei manga series. "OK."

She sits back, chuckling and shoots a darting glance at the surprised stares of our classmates. "It's a date then."

"Yeah. Um, when and where should we meet?"

"You're the boy. You decide."

"OK, then, shall we meet at Kita station? About six o'clock?"

"Sure."

I know she wants this to be my idea though she's just planned everything. Still, I'm new at this and I don't want to disappoint her. "Is there anything else you want to do?"

"Surprise me."