~  Saturday, Jan 16, 1813  ~

My fingers cramped as I lifted the teacup to my lips. Sat behind my writing desk, I had been composing missives all morning. First, I had responded to Lord Kingsley's letter, delicately avoiding the mention of his desire to plunge into my well and encouraging him to tell me about the outcome of his family's ball. The next letter was written to the Thompson siblings, asking if they would attend me in my home that evening so I could hear their account of the festivities. I also needed to discuss another matter that had troubled me all through the night.

Finally, I penned a brief message to Captain Forrest Remington at the Office of Seaman's Wages, asking that I be scheduled to see him about a matter of military importance. I wished to enlist his help as I built my case for the disabled soldiers. Hopefully, he wouldn't misconstrue my meaning and send the king's guard to my door. As I counted out the coin for the bellman, I watched the snow fall past the parlor window. If it kept up much longer, I might have to cancel my visit to the orphan asylum. And, more than anyone else, I hated to disappoint the children.

By the time I had donned the appropriate winter dress, the snowfall had slowed to the occasional wisp. Still, the coachman navigated the streets carefully, avoiding the snowbanks and delivering me safely into the orphans' welcoming arms. His employer, Mister Morrisey, would have been unforgiving if I had arrived in any other state.

After sharing their worries that the snow would keep me away, one of the talented youths gifted me a hand-stitched handkerchief with my initials embroidered on it. Although the R and H looked like a pair of Bs, I loved it just the same. And on my return journey home, I used it to dab the snowflakes off my lashes.

After a lively meeting with my staff, in which we discussed how we might celebrate Jasper's fiftieth birthday, I had Clara arrange a special tea and biscuit service in the sitting room where I awaited my guests. The snow had started up again, covering the front stoop, so I tried not to set my hopes too high. I hadn't worried long before a knock announced their arrival. And, soon, we were sat before a comfortable fire chatting about the ball.

"The earl and countess were terribly understanding about Jules's bashed face." Alice talked as she dunked her biscuit, allowing it to soak until it nearly fell apart on its way to her mouth. "Apparently, the earl enjoys taking in the occasional boxing match. Although the countess claimed it was more than occasional."

I lowered my chin to chuckle into my chest, while the captain appeared nonplussed by Alice's recounting of the events, letting his sister speak without interruption.

"The food tasted divine, and they even served a rum punch. Jules didn't let me indulge. He thought I would embarrass myself...or him." She smiled at her brother as she finished her biscuit and reached for another. I waited for her to share her encounters with the young lord, and when his name failed to come up, I started to worry something untoward had happened.

"So, tell me about Lord Kingsley," I offered gently. "I expect he attended you throughout the evening."

Alice threw a furtive glance at her brother, and he waved his hand nonchalantly. "Go ahead. Tell her all the ghastly details."

Ghastly? Oh, dear.

"They weren't all ghastly. And only a few others were privy to the ordeal." Alice prepared her biscuit as if she needed the distraction, and I could hardly bear the tension. "When Jules and I arrived, the lord hurried to greet us. It was quite charming. His friend, Ben Dalrymple, was there too, and he barely left the lord's side. Whenever the lord asked me to dance, Ben insisted on the next. After a time, they started to squabble, disappearing for periods. Jules decided to spy on them once it became obvious something was amiss, and he heard them arguing about me."

"About you? What did your brother hear, exactly?" I blinked pointedly at the captain, who seemed ready for the conversation to be deferred to him. Dragging out the suspense, he sipped from his cup and set it down carefully before glancing between me and Alice. He could be an awful tease.

"I could not make out every word that was said," he began smoothly. "I was tucked behind a curtain trying not to look suspicious. After Ben called the lord an arrogant clod, Albert returned with childish buffoon and accused his friend of stepping in where he wasn't wanted. Ben assured him that Alice was more interested in what he had to offer than some self-absorbed royal lout. That's when the first punch was thrown."

"Oh, my. Did you stop the fight from escalating?"

"I wouldn't use the word stop. I intervened, but they refused to stop. By the time the guards arrived, Ben had drawn first blood." After recounting the incident as if it were a boxing match, the captain shrugged carelessly. I did not doubt he had enjoyed himself.

"Was that the end of it, then?"

"Not quite. Before the boys dismounted from each other, I told them that if they wanted to settle their dispute like gentleman, they should court Alice properly and let her decide."

"I see." While I did not believe a competition to be the soundest idea, the situation was already out of my hands. I turned to Alice, who had been grimacing over her teacup as she listened to Jules recite the events. "What are your feelings about this, Alice?"

"Well, I suppose it might be fun. They both have qualities I like. And both have already sent missives apologizing for their behaviour. I just don't want this rivalry business getting out."

"How many guards were involved?"

"Two, and one of the serving staff," she offered.

"Then the rivalry is as good as news," I told her plainly. "But I will help you navigate the gossip. I have had some practice with it."

Alice nodded, although she clutched her teacup like it might try to jump out the window. "Thank you, Mistress Hayes. You're a gem."

Bringing my own cup to my lips, I took a fortifying drink before moving on to the next order of business. "Now that we have covered your eventful evening, I would like to share something with the two of you. It concerns your father. Actually, it concerns all of us."

"What about father?" Alice became very attentive, and she set her cup down to scoot forward in her chair.

"During our many games of backgammon yesterday, we enjoyed lively conversation. In fact, it was going quite well until he asked to meet my foster family during a prearranged dinner at your home. Since I am not comfortable with deceptions of any kind, and we already have a ruse going, I had to agree. I have been tasked with arranging this at my earliest convenience."

The captain stiffened in his chair and blew a long, nasally breath from his nose. Alice, on the other hand, did not appear disturbed by the news at all.

"I am sure father will love Mistress Price. She's witty, and charming, and she smells of roses."

"And she is one of the most well-known courtesans in London," I said. "When he learns that the Price family that fostered me is Clementine Price, he will research my connection to her, and the cat will be out of the bag."

Alice wrinkled her nose. "And you think he will be upset that Jules is courting a courtesan? You don't know my brother very well, do you? He mustn't have told you that he and father have not gotten on for years. If you ask me, the worst father will say is that Jules better not ruin your reputation."

Whatever defenses the captain had been using to maintain his stoic composure, Alice's comment found a weak spot, and his eyes turned stormy as he glared at her. "I will not ruin anyone's reputation. Rose has not altered her...pursuits in any way. Isn't that right?"

His eyes flicked to me, and I saw a maelstrom of emotions, although he held his chin as rigid as stone. I also hadn't failed to notice the informality of his address. I was beginning to wonder if he even knew when he did it.

"Surely, the admiral would not approve of our courtship if he thought I had not discontinued my pursuits, as you say. Which is why this deception is so precarious."

"Why can't we tell him you have discontinued?" said Alice. "You must admit, since you have entered our lives, his mood has improved. Besides, it's not like he's going to make inquiries."

"I don't know, Alice. Learning all this could send him right back where he was before I entered your lives. Maybe it would be best to tell him that Jules and I have broken off our courtship. This will remove the need to meet my foster family."

The captain's lips twitched. "Who's to say our break-up wouldn't send him back where he was before? He's finally treating me like a man, for once." He paused to clear his throat. "That is... I believe this fictional courtship has given him some sort of...hope."

Indeed?

Alice and I blinked at Jules, who clearly felt the discomfort of our curious gazes in the way he jammed his shoulders against the wingback as if it needed steadying.

"You may be right, Captain. I suppose there is no good solution. Which is why I detest deceiving people. It rarely works out for either party. What I can do is put off the meeting between the admiral and Mistress Price to the end of the month. I know Clementine has a gala to attend in Bath, and she will be staying a few days. With luck, your father will be stable enough by then to manage any sort of unsettling business we bring him."

The siblings offered guarded nods, and we busied ourselves with tea and biscuits for a bit longer, although the captain ignored his, choosing instead to stare out the window at the gathering dark. A distant knock interrupted the tension, and Tilda appeared a moment later.

"Mistress Hayes, a Captain Remington is here to see you. I asked him inside on account of the snow. He is waiting in the parlor."

The captain's attention quickly switched to me. "Why is Remy here to see you?"

"I don't know, precisely. But I did send a missive to his office this morning. Thank you, Tilda. Please, explain to Captain Remington that I must first excuse myself to our guests."

"Straight away, Mistress."

As soon as Tilda disappeared, the captain stood from his chair. "No need to excuse yourself, Mistress Hayes. Alice and I have stayed long enough."

"Can we at least give our regards to Captain Remington? I haven't seen him in an age," Alice said as she hurriedly finished her biscuit and downed her tea.

"I suppose that would be the proper thing to do." The captain barely got the words past his lips, as if he detested Captain Remington. Had he been putting on airs at church?

Dressed smartly in his naval uniform, which fit him much better than his Sunday jacket, Captain Remington's prosthetic hand rested at his back as he bent over examining a piece of Chinese pottery belonging to the duke. When he saw me walk in with Jules and Alice, his eyes widened as if he had been caught stealing biscuits from the tin.

"Mistress Hayes. I apologize for the unsolicited intrusion. Hello Jules. Alice, dear."

Alice didn't hesitate. She waltzed up to Captain Remington and performed a friendly curtsy. "It's so nice to see you Captain Remington. Please, tell me Helena is well."

"She is quite well. Thank you for asking. How is your father?"

"He's doing much better. You really ought to come for dinner. And bring Helena, of course. Can I send you a missive?"

"It would be our pleasure to attend dinner at your home." An easy smile came to him. It was something Alice had a knack for. "What brings you and Jules here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Captain Thompson had not made a move to greet his friend, although his expression was not discourteous.

Captain Remington fumbled inside his pocket and pulled out the missive I had sent earlier that day. "My office received a letter from Mistress Hayes with an intriguing inquiry. Given that I was traveling to this end of London, I thought I would call on her to discuss it."

"You didn't have to trouble yourself that way, Captain," I said. "The weather is turning frightful."

"That it is, but the wife needed her liniment. If you are busy, we can schedule a visit at my office."

"No need. Alice and I are leaving," Jules said curtly.

"Feel free to take my carriage," Captain Remington offered. "You don't want to stand even a minute in this weather."

Jules nodded, his eyes never leaving the captain's face. "We will. Thank you." Then he did something completely unexpected. He took my hand and lifted it to his mouth, placing a chaste kiss across my gloved knuckles. "It is always a pleasure, Mistress Hayes. Thank you for your hospitality. Until next we meet."

Rotating sharply on his heel, as if following the orders of a drill sergeant, he strode from the room, leaving Alice and me to stare blankly at each other.

"Goodbye, Mistress Hayes. I better make sure my brother isn't suffering a fever." Alice giggled as she left the room, and when the closing door echoed down the hall, I turned to Captain Remington, hoping he hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary about the exchange.

"Was Jules behaving oddly? Or was it just me?" he said.

"In what way did he seem odd?"

"He looked as though he wanted to challenge me to a duel but relieve me of my weapon first." A wee smile came to him, which had my shoulders relaxing a bit.

"His behavior did appear slightly out of character. But we had been discussing a matter of import prior to your arrival, which may have put him in a mood."

"Nothing too serious, I hope."

"No, sir. Thank you, for your concern. Now, why don't you make yourself comfortable and I will have Tilda bring us tea."

"Tea won't be necessary. I am not especially fond of it."

"Would coffee be more to your liking?"

He grinned as he adjusted himself in the wingback. "Coffee would suit me just fine. You are very gracious to make the offer."

Happy to accommodate the captain, I rang for Tilda, and when she had seen to the request, I explained the purpose of my letter. Fortunately, he seemed amenable to furthering the cause.

"I hope you don't think me too bold for imposing on your position," I said. "When I offered to help these poor men, I didn't realize to what lengths I needed to go on their behalf. Of course, now that I have learned more about their dire circumstances, I would not abandon them for anything."

"Your righteousness is a virtue not many hold. While I will agree the amount of documentation and assistance you will need from the administration is certain to be your greatest hurdle, I can already tell by your cleverness and forthright manner that you just might make this happen." His compliment had me flushed, and he seemed to notice this, giving me a moment as he sipped his coffee. "May I speak frankly, Mistress Hayes?"

"Please, do."

"I have never met a woman like you. You employ a buoyancy and genuine kindness that is infectious. I noticed it the day we met at the church. I can see why Jules fancies you."

Oh, of all the silly notions.

How could I best tell him that whatever Jules meant by the performance he gave prior to his departure, it was not affection. "With due respect, sir, I do not believe Captain Thompson fancies me. His manner is generally abrasive and aloof toward me."

"Yes. He is a replica of his father. And, perhaps, I am speaking out of turn, but I do not believe his brusque manner toward me had to do with whatever matter you were discussing earlier. I have never known Captain Jules Thompson to find it necessary to kiss a lady's hand."

"Indeed, the gesture was unexpected." I couldn't think of anything else to say in my defense. Jules's behaviour had been strange. And, in truth, I had never been formally courted. How was I to know when a man truly fancied me, outside the boudoir?

"There is one other matter I wished to discuss before I take my leave." The captain set down his cup and took a moment to wiggle around in his chair. He looked quite unsure of himself. "I thought we might... That is, I would like you to consider... Hmm, how should I put this? What is the protocol for securing your...services as a courtesan?"

Ah, so this was his real motive for the unsolicited visit. The letter was just an excuse. "Well, before any details are settled or contracts are signed, there must be mutual respect and compatibility between both parties. A courtesan provides more to her benefactor than intimacy in the bedroom. We engage in lively discussions, play games, and attend events together. Of course, some opt for more discretion and do not wish to take the relationship outside of my residence.

"Which brings me to another, very important, point. If a benefactor is married, I require him to be forthcoming with his wife. I do not abide deception. As you might imagine, reputations can be ruined if this guideline is not adhered to. It's the responsible thing to do for all parties concerned."

As I lectured Captain Remington on the virtues of honesty, a guilty knot blossomed in my throat. How could I provide such counsel when I, myself, had perpetuated deceit against Admiral Thompson. I was behaving like a terrible hypocrite.

"I wouldn't think of doing otherwise," he said, snapping me out of my self-loathing. "I had planned to collect the necessary information and approach Helena with the proposition."

"I am very glad to hear that. And I meant no disrespect. I had a feeling you would be forthcoming. May I ask why you wish to retain a courtesan?"

His chin dropped to his chest, a manifestation of his guilty conscience, no doubt. He was in good company. "After Helena and I were married, we tried to have children. It took many years, but when it finally happened, Helena lost the child before its birth. It devastated her, but our physician told us not to worry and to keep trying. A short time later, she was pregnant again. This time, she lost the child even closer to term. She shut down completely in the bedroom. We have not been intimate in over five years."

"I am very sorry. That must put a terrible strain on both of you. Are you determined to father children?"

"No. I have come to terms with remaining childless. It is a willing price I pay to keep Helena by my side."

"Have you experimented with birth control? I expect her apprehension stems from her fear of becoming pregnant again."

"Yes, but they were unmitigated failures. For a time, she fell into a terrible melancholy. She is thirteen years my junior, and she was behaving like her life was nearly over. Fortunately, she has recovered herself in that regard."

"Are there other ways you spend quality time together, besides attending church?"

"We visit friends. Enjoy many fine galas. Share books. Helena also loves carriage rides in the countryside when the weather is warm. To be clear, Mistress Hayes, we have a good, strong bond, which is why I believe she will understand my need to seek intimacy in another fashion."

While it wasn't unheard of for a man to keep a courtesan while maintaining a strong connection with his wife, Mister Faircloth being one, that was a rare circumstance. More often, the men were married to sour women who were unwilling to share themselves in the way their husband required. The case of Captain Remington and his wife was, in my mind, unique. And a thought occurred to me of how all parties might find satisfaction.

"Clearly, you have given the matter adequate thought, which is very good. The next step is to discuss your annuity as a benefactor and what we both expect of each other as equal participants. When we come to an agreement, I will have a contract written up with the language that reflects this. In the meantime, you can take the matter up with your wife."

He nodded, although somewhat uncertainly, and we proceeded to discuss the details of our relationship. The annuity I suggested seemed agreeable to him, and his requests in the bedroom were agreeable to me. Despite what he may have thought about the various positions he enjoyed, they were nothing compared the duke's fetishes. When we had finished, I could not tell if the captain was more or less confident about his decision to call on me.

"I must admit, I nearly lost my nerve to ask about the courtesan business after Jules's contrary reaction to my arrival. I fear he will refuse to speak to me again if I pursue this relationship."

"Do not worry about Jules, Captain Remington. He has proven to me, on several occasions, that he will do whatever he pleases regardless of what anyone says about it."

"I cannot argue against you there."

When a coach arrived, the kindly captain took his leave, and I wished him safe travels home. The weather had not diminished in its pursuit to blanket the city in white, and while the view was inviting from my bedroom window, the chill was not, and I justified the expense of burning the leftover yule logs in the upstairs fireplace. With Captain Remington's annuity replacing what I had lost when Mister Faircloth severed our ties, I would not have to count my coin as closely.

Still, as I sat at my dressing table brushing the curls from my hair, rather than thinking of the lady's topper I'd had my eyes on at Pennington's Shoppe, my mind worked to devise a plan for how I might help Captain Remington and his wife find intimacy again, even if it meant continuing my pursuit of another benefactor in his stead. For what kind of courtesan would I be to knowingly interfere with true love?