It seems so easy, doesn't it?

Going into the light, letting my pain melt away.

It's beckoning me, calling me.

I can feel it's warm embrace around me.

And I can see the patients I've lost in my line of work, the friends I've lost since this cursed war began...

...standing there with open arms.

I wanted to embrace them.

I wanted to go into the light.

It was so warm and inviting, I could hardly resist.

But I had to. I had to turn away. I had to return to the cold, dark atmosphere of the real world. The terror of being in Megatron's presence.

Because Primus wasn't done with me yet.

The world wasn't done with me yet.

I was needed.

———

My optics slowly fluttered open and I immediately felt lightheaded, my vision spinning. I felt like I was going to vomit, but there was nothing in my stomach. I checked my energon levels.

10%.

Dangerously low.

I was going to die if I didn't get something in me right now.

And as if on cue, the door to the box opened and an energon cube was placed before me. I didn't care who opened the door. I didn't care who gave it to me. I just snatched it and ravenously devoured it in seconds like an animal. After I finished, I wiped the energon from my mouth and took a second to process the small amount of energon that was now working through my systems. It helped, but not as much as I had wanted.

20%.

Still dangerous, but better than 10%.

"I take it you enjoyed that, Doctor."

Megatron's voice startled me and I crammed myself into the corner of the box, folding my limbs in to try and make myself as small as possible. I was terrified. His very voice terrified me.

This was a whole new level of fear.

It wasn't the same as before. Before he wanted to starve me to death. He still could, technically.

"I believe you understand why I must keep you alive." Megatron continued, taking a knee in front of the box and peering inside at me.

My optics narrowed at him, rage building in my chassis. I had to control it, though. I didn't have the energy to expend on something so little. "I don't want to be alive. I want to live. There's a difference." I spat bitterly, my crooked jaw still making it awkward to talk.

That earned a chuckle of amusement from him. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he gazed at me with that murderous look of his. "I'm afraid that difference doesn't apply here. You don't have a choice. I make the decisions, Ratchet. You're just here to sit back and watch."

"I'm a pawn in your sick, twisted game. That's what I am. What do you hope to achieve with this?" I retorted angrily, though my voice began to quaver. My weakness was showing through. "Don't you think this is all just a waste of time?"

"A waste of time? Dear medic, I believe this is the best use of my time. Aside from running a warship and commanding an army, I have you to take care of. You're part of my experiment."

"Experiment?"

"Precisely. I've heard about how sturdy Autobots like you are and I want to know how long it takes for one to break. Lose their humanity. Become detached from the real world."

"You are diabolical."

"No, Ratchet. I am merely inquisitive."

———

Two weeks went by and I began to lose track of the days. My chronometer wasn't working properly and I could hardly tell if it was daytime or nighttime. I would often spend my time recharging to try and conserve my energy.

I think I'm beginning to lose my mind. I jump at every noise I hear, paranoid that it was Megatron ready to pounce on me. When Megatron did take me out of the box, I could barely even walk properly because my joints were so stiff and locked up. Everything hurt.

I don't remember what the world outside this warship looks like. I've been stuck in a metal prison for so long that I couldn't even remember what my own home planet looked like.

As the days went by, they started to blur together. I went by weeks instead of days. I started to believe that they weren't coming for me. The Autobots weren't coming for me. I was a lost cause.

I was going to be here forever with that monster...