I didn’t sleep much that night. My thoughts kept wandering to the recent memory I had acquired only a few hours ago, and to the boy lying beneath me. A blush settled across my cheeks each time I replayed the scene mentally. 

Somehow I managed to capture a few hours of sleep that evening. From the creaking beneath me, it seemed as if Nat was having as much difficulty falling unconscious as I was. I could only hope he wasn’t cursing the moment our lips touched. If I had to guess, I would assume he was. 

The next morning, I was one of the last to arrive at the cafeteria. As I grabbed my food and made my way toward an empty area, a voice called out to me. 

“93-11!” 

Almost instinctively, I turned my head in the direction of the voice. A pang ran through my body as I realized I had responded to the number. A few days ago, I wouldn’t have looked twice. It seemed I was growing accustomed to being labeled a number. The thought settled itself disconcertedly in my mind. 

Cassandra sat at the edge of the table, waving to me. Across from her was Red, who smiled as I approached the two of them. 

“Hey.” I rested my tray on the precariously on the edge, standing where there were no seats. Neither girl acknowledged it and continued to sit where they had claimed. “What’s up?”

“I saw you went out in the rain last night.” Cassandra commented, her eyes moving to my hair. While it was dry now, it had a cleanliness to it that shouldn’t have happened with my shower day coming up so soon. 

“Yeah.” I shrugged, knowing I wasn’t the only one to have done this. People who had never bothered to interfere with the rebellion had celebrated the rare rainfall last night. As my eyes moved over to the girl who shared my shower day, I noted how Red’s hair was as clean as mine was. “I missed the rain.”

“Many people did.” Her eyes darted accusingly toward her companion. Red rolled her eyes, twirling a strand of the fiery hair between her fingers. 

“It’s not a crime to enjoy yourself here.” Red muttered casually. “They don’t mind as long as we continue with work the next day.”

“True, true.” Cassandra nodded, but didn’t seem to be very attentive to Red’s explanation. “Anyway, 93-11, I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Sure,” I began to spoon some of the food into my mouth, realizing that this was how I would enjoy my first meal of the day.

“You were in Isolation, correct?”

I nodded, unsure of where this was going. Her tone of voice seemed innocent, but with Cassandra, I could never be sure where she would take this. 

“How long was your sentence for?”

I shrugged, taking a moment to swallow the food in my mouth before I responded, “I don’t remember.” 

“Really? I’ve talked to some people, and they said they remember every aching hour they spent in there.” Cassandra didn’t seem to believe my lie.

“I wasn’t really paying attention to the sentenced time. I was scared and confused.” I tried to keep my words strong and smooth, attempting an honest face. “It was an awful experience. I don’t really want to think about it.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” She didn’t sound sincere. “Your sentence was considerably shorter than the average and especially with 94-2… He’s such a trouble-maker. I would have guessed twelve days minimum, but you were much shorter than that.”

I shrugged, “I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer for you.”

Her eyes took in my face, but after a few minutes, she gave up the interrogation. We finished the rest of our breakfast in silence. I stood for the remainder, knowing that I would regret this when my feet would ache later today. 

I finished before either girl and made my way toward the shed to pick up the Cutter and meet with my partner. As I walked there, my mind wondered as to what the purpose of the conversation was about. Why would Cassandra be bothered in my personal affairs? It was a short discussion, ending once she realized she wasn’t going to get much from me.

Regardless, it left me feeling suspicious of the situation.

~*~

We may have had to work together, but Nat was doing an amazing job at avoiding me. His body moved out of the way to evading my touch, and his eyes never lingered long on me. It seemed as if he was ignoring me to the best of his ability. 

Much like every other day, we worked in silence as the sun beat down on our skins. Yet there was an unseen barrier between us. I felt as if we had moved one step forward, only to fall four steps back. 

As the final horn blared to signal the end of the day, work halted as usual and small whispers arose among the workers as we made our way back to the base. I followed Nat as he pushed through the stalks that bared our way to the open field. His arms strained from the heavy weight of the machine he carried. I watched as small beads continued to fall between his shoulder blades to add to the collection of water absorbed in his shirt. 

We departed with our machines at the shed as usual. Nat kept distance between us as we walked to the mess hall for our evening meal.

I wanted to share my earlier experience with our roommates with him, but I accepted the subtle hint to bite my tongue. Instead, I found a place on the floor and ate my meal in silence, despite all the chatter around me.

I was reminded of how I was on my first day here: confused, alone, silent. No one made any attempt to talk to me, and I made no attempt to converse with them. One step forward, four steps backward. 

I walked back to the cabin on my own. 

As I entered the familiar building, I noticed that I wasn’t alone in here. Jacob sat against his bed, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. He turned to look as I walked in, greeting me with a smile. The younger boy moved over on the bed to accommodate another body.

“Hey, Eva.”

“Hey Jacob.” I couldn’t keep the melancholy out of my voice. Today hadn’t been a favorable one. 

He noticed my negativity, giving me a questioning look, “What’s wrong?”

I shrugged casually, “Nothing.”

“Eva.”  He pushed, turning onto his side. 

Would Nat be mad if I explained the entire story to Jacob? I didn’t have to think twice; the answer was a simple yes. 

“I don’t know, Jacob.” I lied softly, “I’m just in a lonely mood right now.”

He sighed understandingly, “I know how you feel. I know this planet isn’t right for us. I don’t remember much of Earth, but what I do makes me homesick.”

My eyes moved to his, “What do you remember?”

“Not much.” Jacob said. His voice was quiet and gentle as it caressed the words that fell from it, “I remember lots of green, but different from the stalks here. I remember lots of brown too, and black and red. Nat says I remember the fires destroying our planet. I don’t like those memories though; I try to think of the positive ones.”

I waited for him to continue, reflecting on what little memories I had of our homeland in silence. 

“I remember being with two older girls. They watched over me for a while. We played games, and we moved around a lot. But I remember being truly happy with those girls.” He chuckled as another memory flashed through his eyes. “One of the girls used to sing to me each night before I went to sleep. Sometimes I think of the lyrics before I go to sleep here.”

“What were the lyrics?” I asked softly.

His face reddened slightly, “Oh, Canada, our home and native land. True patriots love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts we see the rise, the True North strong and free. From far and wide, Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee—”

He stopped suddenly, frowning, “I don’t remember the rest.”

Something tugged at the back of my mind: a memory of some sorts. I couldn’t think of why the song sounded significant to me. “What is a Canada?”

Jacob shrugged, “I think it’s where I’m from on Earth.”

“It sounds familiar to me.”

“Maybe you’re from there too.” His eyes brightened at the idea. My heart accelerated at the thought of sharing a homeland on Earth with this boy. Everyone here came from Earth, but I wasn’t foolish enough to think that we came from the same region—especially not with the language barriers present. But to share a cabin with someone who was from the same region as myself… It seemed almost too good to be true. 

As that thought crossed my mind, my stomach dropped, and I knew it couldn’t be so. “Maybe I am.”

“That would be cool.” He grinned, “Do you remember any of Earth?”

I bit my lip bashfully, shaking my head no. “Not much, really.”

He nodded understanding. I wondered if it was normal for me to not remember much. I had barely been a teenager, yet most of my life had disappeared in the blink of an eye. Surely, my memory wasn’t that bad. 

I tried not to think too much on the topic. Jacob slipped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into a hug on the bed. His warm body soothed my tense one.

“I don’t think we’ll ever get off this planet.” I muttered softly. The words spilled from my lips before I had time to process them, but I felt the truth of them on my tongue. 

“With that kind of attitude we won’t.” He teased. “You have to have some faith, Eva. We’ll get home.”

I shook my head against his chest. My throat tightened, and it took me a few minutes before I could respond. “I’m serious. Nothing has been done.”

Jacob tilted his head to give me a curious look. He didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to communicate to him. “Sure there has been. You were at one of the raids on the Mess Hall a few evenings ago. That was your first visit to Isolation.”

“Yes, but that was a bold move, wasn’t it?” I pushed, and shifted my position on the bed to better look at the boy I was speaking too. He remained horizontal, studying me with interest. Running a hand through my hair, I continued, “We need to be doing more to assert our independence out there, Jacob.”

His eyes moved back and forth between mine as he processed my words. “Wouldn’t that make them suspicious, and ruin any hope we have of a rebellion?”

My thought process faltered; he was right. If we started acting up, they would surely limit us more than we already were. Scowling at Jacob, I settled back against his side in an unwanted defeat. He chuckled at my immaturity. 

“We should still be doing more.” I muttered.

“I agree.” His voice rumbled as he spoke lowly. “Nat’s a good leader. He knows what he’s doing, even though it doesn’t seem like much.”

I pursed my lips, but kept my thoughts to myself. If he truly knew what he was doing, more would be done in this rebellion. To me, it felt as if nothing had changed from the moment I’d awoken on this foreign world. 

I didn’t have many memories of Earth, but the longing for my home planet lingered inside. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever experience my homeland again, but I knew the need to attempt freedom burned inside of not only me, but many others. 

The door opened, startling both of us. Nat froze for a moment in the doorway, his eyes landing on the pair of us, before a shake of the head thawed him out. The door slammed closed behind him as the silent man slipped onto his mattress, back toward us.

A tense silence fell over the cabin. 

“Don’t mind me,” Nat muttered, the first words said in my presence of the day, “Keep on with your conversation.”

I swallowed nervously, shifting myself closer to Jacob. He sensed something was wrong and wrapped an arm around my body. 

“Nat, you OK?” Jacob asked as his hand rubbed my arm gingerly.

“I’m fine.”

Jacob rolled his eyes, “You don’t sound fine.”

“Jacob.” Nat growled threateningly. His body remained tense as he spoke, “Shut your damn mouth.”

“Nat, seriously—”

Nat stood up abruptly from the bed, his eyes scanning over the two of us. Nostrils flared in anger, the older man stormed across the room. He opened the door, not looking back as he muttered a simple, “I’m out of here.”

I sat up on the bunk I laid on, staring after him. Had I been the one to cause him such irritation? My stomach twisted at the thought. 

“Don’t know what his problem is.” Jacob muttered next to me. 

I do.

“I’ll be back.” I stood before I had time to process my actions, leaving the younger boy on the bed. Jacob called something to me, but I was out the door before I had time to process his words. As I stepped out into the muggy air, I noticed that more people were filing back into their cabins. My eyes scanned the crowd. 

He wasn’t hard to find; Nat was walking against the crowd. My feet hit the gravel of the ground, crunching as I hurried to catch him. His hands were balled into fists, and he walked quickly. From the back of him, I could tell he was furious.

I couldn’t have been the cause of his anger.

My hand touched his shoulder gently to get his attention. Nat spun around, grabbing my wrist and twisting my arm behind me. Somehow I had ended up facing the way I had come with Nat’s body pressed against mine. 

A whimper escaped my laps as he bent my arm painfully behind me. My face contorted into a grimace, and I struggled fruitlessly against him.

Nat must’ve recognized me, for in a matter of seconds, his body was off of mine. The pain vanished as I brought my arm back to the front. My fingers rubbed my wrist soothingly. 

“What do you want?” Nat snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. My eyes moved around to the passersby, but no one seemed to look our way. It was as if we were in our own secluded bubble in which no one could see us. 

I locked my eyes in his gaze, feeling myself shrink under the intimidating glare. I refused to show any sign of my emotions and held myself together well. “What’s wrong with you?”

His jaw tensed at my words, “Nothing.”

“You’re acting like a child.” I hissed. “What was that back there? Jacob didn’t mean anything; he was genuinely concerned for you, and you stormed out.”

“He’s nosy.”

I opened my mouth to counter his comment, when I faltered slightly. Hesitantly, I stepped closer to him, lowering my voice, “You’re not… upset because of what happened last night, right?”

Nat was silent for a moment before a snicker crossed his lips. “You think I’m upset because we kissed? That’s ridiculously egotistical of you, Eva.”

My stomach twisted. “What am I supposed to think? This is the first we’ve talked, and you’re yelling at me!”

“Not sure why it’s any different from a normal day.”

“Nat!” My fingers moved to curl around his biceps, digging into his flesh. His attitude infuriated me profusely, and I could feel control slipping. “Stop this.”

“Stop what?”

“Acting like a jerk!”

He rolled his eyes, “It’s not acting.”

My fingers dug further into his flesh. Nat concealed any discomfort well in his eyes as he stood like a statue before me. I wasn’t sure whether I was trying to inflict pain, or see any other emotion on him.

“You’re unbelievable! You’re acting like a child, Nat, when you should be acting like the adult you are.” I snarled.

“You think you’re acting like the adult here?” He asked, motioning toward my fingers on his arms.

My chest shook as deep breaths filled my lungs. I couldn’t continue this argument; it was tearing me up. A moment passed, and neither of us spoke. Water began to fill my eyes slowly, threatening to spill over the edge. 

I pushed past Nat, walking in the way he had originally been going. A hand moved to wipe the tears from my eyes. It was ridiculous; I had no reason to cry. But my stomach twisted painfully, and my chest ached at how the day at turned out.

I kept walking until I found the fields. I entered only a few feet in so as not to get myself lost before taking a seat on the ground and letting the emotions spill out.