Nat’s promise to give me an opportunity to voice my thoughts kept me up all evening.

We left to the cabin a few minutes after he had proclaimed the proposal. Much to my dismay, I found that it was much more difficult to crawl through the hole into the camp, rather than out. Nat took great amusement from my struggling, which resulted in a silent journey back. 

The thick dark atmosphere of the plantation had me longing for the free air I had only briefly tasted. Try as I might, I know I wouldn’t return to the outside world without my companion’s directions. It was a fairly confusing journey.

Nat fell asleep as soon as his head hit the mattress. Unfortunately for me, I had far too many thoughts tumbling around in my mind to glimpse at sleep. My bed squeaked as I tossed and turned in discomfort. Thoughts flew in a whirlwind around my mind, and it was a struggle to organize them into a feasible plan.

But Nat had given me a task, and I was determined to exceed it beyond expectation—which I suspected was very low. 

I reflected on all that I had learned in the past three weeks I had been on this godforsaken planet. Bits and pieces of information flittered by, vocabulary terms I was hardly familiar with wove themselves into my blueprints. 

I rolled over on the mattress to glimpse the first rays of sunshine seeping in through the crack of the doorway. I was surprised to realize that I hadn’t fallen asleep once that evening. My mind calmed down from the frenzy and relaxed as I enjoyed the last few moments of silence. All too soon would the horn blare, and awake my bunkmates. 

I stared at the ceiling, hoping that all went well today. I was nervous about revealing my ideas to the leaders. They were far more knowledgeable of the land we slaved over and would easily criticize me. The possibility of humiliation loomed over me threateningly. I didn’t want to have to face Nat again after thoroughly embarrassing myself.

I tried unsuccessfully not to think about the negativity. Time ticked by quickly.

A few moments passed, and the familiar blare sounded. The cabin awoke slowly. Beds squeaked an groaned under the shifting weight as people sluggishly moved off. Yawns and moans filled the air, the daily song of good morning.

I eased myself off and onto the floor at the same time that Nat stood up. Our bodies crashed into each other painfully.

Nat chuckled softly. “Klutz.”

I scowled in his direction, murmuring an apology.

We followed the crowd as they migrated toward the Mess Hall steadily. Our group coalesced with other cabins down the pathway, forming one giant mob by the time we reached the cafeteria. I stopped at the end of the growing line and rubbed my eyes.

“You don’t look like you slept much,” Nat commented from behind me. I turned around slowly to face the interlocutor.

“That’s because I didn’t.”

He frowned slightly and leaned against the wall we stood by. His arms crossed tightly over his chest as his eyes took in my tired physique. “Why?”

I shrugged. “I just couldn’t.”

“Was it because of…?” he trailed off, but I didn’t need an ending to that sentence to understand what he was trying to communicate. 

“No, it was amazing,” I whispered, leaning closer. “We have to go there again.”

He shook his head, grinning. “Someday.”

Nat urged me forward as a gap formed between me and the man in front of me. I shuffled backwards, keeping my body angled toward him. My eyes followed the trail of people behind us as the wave of movement migrated down. They resembled a snake as it slithered along the ground.

“I’m just nervous,” I whispered softly, biting my bottom lip.

Nat gave me a confused expression. “What for?”

“Well… you said I could tell you guys about…”

“Oh,” Nat chuckled and shook his head softly. A sympathetic look crossed his eyes as he spoke, “Don’t feel pressured. You’re not the first person to present a course of action, and I’m sure you won’t be the last. We’re used to this kind of thing.”

Ouch. I held back a grimace.

The bar was much lower than I had anticipated.

“Why are you letting me even try?” I asked, trying not to sound as offended as I really was. My  eyes were targeted on the dirt ground as I tried to avoid his.

“Because if you don’t, you’ll continue to think you’re ideas are fool-proof, and could potentially ruin everything for us.” His eyes narrowed darkly at a sour memory. He paused a moment to compose himself. “You’ll see later. Most of the ideas you have most likely were already attempted, or have a major fault you bypassed.”

I pressed my lips tightly together. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry about it, Eva.” He patted my shoulder reassuringly. I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled away from his touch. The atmosphere between us changed drastically as he revealed the truth behind his proposal.

“You’re not mad, are you?”

For being one of the leaders of the rebellion, this boy was surely obtuse. 

“No.” I shook my head and sighed.

“Good,” he said. “Are you still nervous though? You’re pretty tense.”

“I’m fine.” 

“Eva…”

We shuffled forward against, and I turned my back to him. Nat groaned angrily behind me, but didn’t bother me anymore.

We progressed slowly through the line in silence. Nat seemed to have gotten the message that I was upset, but I doubted he understood why. I wasn’t going to humor him; if he couldn’t figure out how insulted I was that he expected me to fail, then I wasn’t going to try.

Nat urged me to sit with him regardless of my mood. I found myself smashed between him and an Asian man at the table. My leg had slid up over top of Nat’s but he didn’t seem to mind. He spoke with the rest of them quickly and assuredly.

I didn’t pay attention. 

My mind wandered off and planned a different route. All these men expected me to humiliate myself with some half-baked plan at escaping and intended to shoot me down as soon as they could. I couldn’t let them think of me as a coward if I backed down, but I couldn’t let them view me as an idiot. I wanted respect.

Nat finished quickly and didn’t wait for the rest of the men. Once he noticed I had stopped poking at my breakfast, he pulled us back and led the way to the trash cans. 

I followed wordlessly as he moved toward the Cutters. Nat handed me one and grabbed his own. I noticed how he avoided my eyes completely. I pursed my lips, but didn’t question it. Maybe he had realized his mistake, and was embarrassed to own up to it. 

We slipped into the thicket of the stalks. I never knew where we would end up; Nat was the one familiar with the area. I had learned of basic places, like where we gathered for nightly meetings, but only he knew where we would cut the stalks that day.

The heavy thud of the Cutter landing startled me out of my thoughts.

I looked up in surprise at Nat, who had turned his body to face me. His eyes studied me slowly, moving down my figure and back up again. 

I cocked my head to the side, “Why did you drop—”

Nat took a step forward and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened in surprise as he molded his mouth against me. My Cutter dropped to the ground next to his, landing softly on the dirt below us. 

Nat’s hands were warm as they slipped around my waist and pulled my hips to him. His fingers slowly moved around my sides to cup my bottom tightly. He squeezed and smiled into the kiss. A gasp escaped my lips as sensations raced through my veins.

He urged me closer, and my fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt tightly. Nat’s chest brushed against mine. My mind went blank, and all I could focus on was his heat mixing with mine. His tongue dipped into my mouth, and this kiss was much more than the first one.

The tone changed as passion raced through me. I pulled him closer. This was different from earlier. I felt a need stirring in me that hadn’t been there before. My mouth tangoed with his, and our bodies moved together. His grip on my bottom tightened as he pulled me so that his erection pressed into my lower abdominal. 

I pulled away slightly, keeping our bodies close. “Nat…”

“I know you’re mad,” he whispered, pressing a teasing kiss to my lips. “Let me make you happy again.”

“Nat no…”

He groaned, moving one of his hands to fist my hair. Nat pulled my head back so that I looked directly into his eyes. “Why not?”

“We have work to do…”

“They won’t notice.”

I stepped back, and Nat dropped his hands. “Everything’s too confusing right now. I need some space.”

“Eva…” he groaned, covering his eyes with his hands. “I don’t know what to do here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling toward you, and I’m confused. When you push me away, it makes things worse.”

I frowned, crossing my arms. “It’s no better for me, Nat. You’re giving me mixed signals.”

He shot me a look that suggested I was crazy, but it quickly disappeared from his eyes as irritation and defeat became the replacement. Nat’s shoulders hunched forward, and he bent down to pick up our neglected Cutters. 

“Here,” he said as he passed me mine.

We walked in silence to our destination. 

********

Very short, I know, but I wanted to get something up. Classes just started back up for me, so everything has been a little hectic. Just so you guys know, I bypassed my other story to give myself time to write in this one ;) Thanks for the nagging! It's actually working! :D