Dear diary.
This is so embarrassing! I've never had a diary. Now I'm a teenager and I'm doing this for the first time.
You're my first, and I want to make this right, but I don't even know how to start. Should I talk to you? Like talking to a person?
Probably not, because you can't answer me. So I guess I should just inform you or something like that. Okay, I'll settle on informing you for now.
So, my name is Aila. Scottish name, American last name, no middle name, because my parents were struggling with choosing even one name, so they just decided to give me no middle name.
And because my parents both have different accents, I don't practically have any. I just speak in a mixture of both accents.
I'm sixteen years old. My whole life I've been living with my parents in a little village in Scotland. We were happy.
But a few weeks ago, my mother was offered a job in the Natural History Museum in London and after weeks and weeks of thinking about the pros and cons, my parents decided to take the chance and move to London.
I wasn't entirely happy about it, but it wasn't my place to speak. I guess I'll just have to wait and see where this will go. I just believe that this was meant to happen, and now I have to try to enjoy it as much as possible.

That's what I wrote to my diary. I wanted it to sound like I'm excited and not angry at all, just in case my parents found it and read it.

My actual feelings were far from what I wrote. As the days were coming closer to the day of our leave, I was becoming more and more anxious.

I was anxious about how a new school's gonna be. I was anxious about how are my new classmates gonna treat me. I was anxious about how I'm gonna keep in touch with my friends and family back in Scotland. I was just so anxious all the time that I was even starting to be anxious about being anxious!

You can tell that I wasn't really a mentally stable person. I don't think you can imagine what I was going through. It's just that I've been through a lot and I wasn't ready for something like this.

Right now, I'm sitting on the floor in my room. Or better said, in a room that used to be my room, but no longer is.

My parents decided to move everything from our old house to the new one. And when I say everything, I mean really everything.

So now my room is completely empty. Just plain walls. It's depressing. I just came here to say goodbye to this place, 'cause this is my last day here.

Mum and dad made a decision to put our house on rent, and I will probably never return here, and if I will, it's gonna be only for Christmas.

I've spent my whole life here, and it's gonna be freaking hard to see someone else owning this place.

A single tear slid down my cheek. I didn't want to cry, but I just can't help it. I quickly closed my eyes to prevent more tears to follow the first one. I took a few deep breaths before I stood up and run my hand on the wall for the very last time.

I walked to my window and I tried to memorize the view. My room had the most beautiful view of the house. I always loved sitting by the window and watching the sunset behind the horizon, over the green fields.

Now, I'm leaving this behind. I'm leaving all of this behind - my neighbor's dog that used to walk with me to schools every morning, my Grandma that was always there for me, my cousins that I'm not so close with, but I'm still gonna miss them... in a few hours, all of this will be left in the past.

I slowly walked out of my room, trying to memorize every single detail. Then I took one last glance at the door to the room opposite mine.

I could feel my heart squeeze. Maybe it was better to leave than live here after all.

After I went down the stairs and stepped out of the house, there was only one thing left to do. I had to visit my grandma.

I knew I should have visited the graveyard too, but I just couldn't get myself to go there.

So Grandma is it.

* * * * *

I've always looked up to my Granny. She was the strongest and the smartest person I knew.

And her cookies. God, if I've ever fallen in love, then I only fell for her cookies. Ever heard of foodgasm? My Grandma's chocolate cookies could give you a double. That's how great they were. Pity that she refused to share her recipe.

As we parked in front of granny's house, I wasn't sure if I should actually enter it. Maybe I could stay in the car and save myself from ugly crying for the rest of the day.

I was sure that my Granny would cry too. We've always shared a special bond. Ever since I was a kid, we only had to look at each other, and we knew what the other was thinking. Cool right? It wasn't the same with other kids in the family. I was always her favorite just like she was mine.

Even when I didn't want to, I had to say goodbye to her. We will be gone for a while, and unfortunately, she doesn't know how to use a PC or mobile so I will only be able to keep in touch with her by letters.

Man up Aila, you've got this - I said to myself before I stepped out of the car, and headed to my granny's house.

My parents were already inside, but they didn't force me to go too, because they knew how hard is this gonna be for me.

Before stepping into the house, I took like 20 deep breaths. I felt like I'm gonna faint any minute. God help me.

I slowly opened the door. I smiled as they made a creaky noise. I instantly smelled cookies. Of course, my Grandma wouldn't let me leave without my stomach full of them.

"Hi, " I whispered when I saw her sitting in the living room. "Hello Princess," she said back and smiled.

She kept on calling me "princess" since the summer when I was 8 years old and I broke my leg. I couldn't go out and play with other kids, and because my parents had to work, my grandmother offered to babysit me. That was around the time when "Brave" came out. Back then, I loved that movie, and with Granny, we watched it almost every day. She thought I looked like Merida, so she just started calling me "princess".

I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I run to her and hugged her so tightly I was scared I would break her.

But instead of whimpering in pain, she let out a small laugh. "Don't cry Princess, I'm not going anywhere., she whispered to my ear. "I know you're not, but I am..."

She didn't say anything else, she just hugged me back even more tightly. Tears were already streaming down my face and wetting her shoulder.

We didn't really talk a lot. Words simply seemed useless.

But the looks we gave each other were full of emotions. We didn't have to talk, but I still knew how my Granny felt. I could see it in her face.

She was broken, and so was I. She didn't want me to leave, but she never mentioned it, because she thought that a bigger town means more opportunities. She always wanted only the best for me.

Later, when my mouth was stuffed with the cookies and I couldn't take anymore, I knew it was time to speak. Finding the right words seemed impossible. So I just said what came to my mind.

" Granny, do you remember, when I was a kid and you were always looking after me? Those times will forever remain in my mind like the happiest time of my life, no matter what happens. I want to be here forever all the time, I want to take care of you when you no longer will be able to live just by yourself. And I promise you, that I will come back. I will always come back to you, " I said, trying my best to not start crying.

Surprisingly, I succeeded. My Grandma smiled at me again. She had that angelic smile that made you feel like everything can be fixed in a blink of an eye.

" Don't give a promise you can't keep my Princess, " she said back.

" But Granny, I will keep that promise! No matter what happens! " She laughed at my panic.

"Just go, Princess. There's a whole new world waiting for you. Give 'em hell!" She just knew how to make me laugh.

And she was also badass. Badass Granny. It's just not possible not to love her.

I couldn't force myself to say something else, so I just stood up and run to her embrace again.

" I'm gonna miss you. So freaking much, " I finally said with my eyes full of tears.

" Oh come on! It's not like I'm gonna die any time soon. It takes more than just you leaving to kill me. I've survived the WW 2 after all." she said and stroked my back.

" Sure. Just don't hurt yourself. Take care. And don't die. Really. Promise me."

She let out a small laugh. Then she pushed me back and cupped my face with her hands

" I promise. " she answered." And now go. My soap opera is starting soon. I don't want to miss it. "

She was saying these things not just to comfort me, but also to comfort herself. She didn't want me to see her cry.

Although I was crying like a baby, I couldn't help but laugh so hard as my life depended on it.

And then we left. There's a whole new world waiting for me. And just like grandma said, I'm gonna give 'em hell.
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A/N - Sooooo, this was the first chapter, and I hope you like it. Make sure to hit the 🌟 button in the bottom-left corner of the screen 🖤
Stay safe 🖤🙏