~{Chapter 5}~

Ring! Ring!

I groan at the sound of my phone and roll over to grab it off of my nightstand.

"Hello?" I ask groggily.

"Ms. Garner? I am calling to tell you that I will be in South Hart in the next few days," Mr. Parker's voice says.

I nod and then realize he can not see me nodding my head. "I'll be ready."

"Good. Well, see you in a few days," he says right before ending the call.

I put the phone back on the nightstand and snuggle back under my covers. I try hard to go back to sleep, but I fail miserably. After trying for about fifteen minutes, I sigh in defeat and get out of bed. I head to the bathroom to get in the shower. I slip under the water and feel the memories flood back.

It had been two days since that flashback in the field. After that flashback, I had jumped up from my spot and hurriedly picked up all of my things. I had rushed back to my room and avoided Mrs. Parker. I had thrown my things in a corner in my room and had rushed to the bathroom to take a warm bath. That was a bad idea.

While I had sat in the warm water, more and more memories had come back. I had grabbed a towel and stuffed my face in it to scream. I finally let go of the towel and sat back in the tub with tears streaming down my face. I had hiccupped and wailed like a baby until the water turned cold. I had then jumped out of the tub and dried myself off. I had hurriedly put on my sleeping shirt and gotten in bed.

The tears came back once again. I had finally leaned back against the headboard and stared at the ceiling. The tears had kept flowing. The purpose in coming to South Hart was for me to escape the sorrow. I had forgotten that South Hart had been where it all began. I forgot that I had just as many memories here as New York City.

Two days later, I was still drowning in self-pity. I had slept the days away and barely gotten out of bed to eat something. I would never have come back if I knew it was going to be this hard. I still felt all the pain. I thought this move would have solved some of it, but I guess I was wrong.

Knock. Knock.

I groan and hurry to my door. I open it to Beth's worried face.

"Kate? Are you alright?" she asks.

"What does it look like?" I ask her with a hint of sarcasm.

She rolls her eyes and gently pushes me out of the way so she can come in. "Kate, I haven't seen you in two days. South Hart is tiny. What's going on?"

I close the door and do not answer her. I head back into the bathroom. She follows me. As I go into the bathroom, she is still behind me.

"A little privacy please," I tell her as I turn to face her.

She crosses her arms and shakes her head. "Kate, I know you. You know me. You know that I am not going to leave you alone until you tell me what's wrong. I care and you know that. Why can't you tell me what's bothering you?"

I sigh and walk over to my bed and sit down. She sits down next to me and waits.

I pause before saying, "I went to the field two days ago."

I hear her catch her breath. "Did you take Bella's?"

I nod. She pulls me into a hug and tries to comfort me. I pull out of her embrace and wipe my watery eyes.

"I just thought this would be easier. I hate this feeling I get every time I do something that reminds me of him. Why did this happen to me?" I say with a hint of anger.

"It will be alright. Just wait, you'll see. I know it's hard," she says.

I shake my head and stand up. "You don't know that. You can't even say that you know how hard this is! You've never had anything like this happen to you, so I don't want to hear how you understand!"

She stands up at my outburst and quietly says, "You don't mean that."

"Oh, you have no idea how much I mean it! You have everything, Beth! You've never had to go through something like this! You have the perfect life! Throughout our lives, you have always had it together. You have always had the loving family and the attention of boys. Shoot, you even have a fiancé! I was the one supposed to be getting married! I was supposed to finally have something I could count on!"

Her face has been turning red as I have been saying this. "I've had my struggles! You have no idea what you're talking about, Kate. You're not the only one who has had to deal with hardships!"

I smirk. "Oh really? Well, have you ever been homeless? Have you ever lived with more than ten families? Have you ever had people always look at you with disdain? Have you had your fiancé killed?"

She takes a deep breath and backs up from me. "You don't know what you're saying. You're better than this, Kate."

I shake my head. "You can't say that because you aren't me! I'm not better than this and you know it! I have always been the outcast! I have always been this way. You and James could never get rid of who I was before I met you. I am still that lost girl that you guys met! No one can change that! I'm stuck like this! I'm stuck like this!" I break down into sobs.

All of a sudden, her face of anger turns into a face of compassion. She takes a step closer to me and carefully leads me back to my bed to sit down. I do not stop her from making me sit down.

She soothingly pats my back as she says, "Take deep breaths and calm down."

I take a deep breath and feel my tense body begin to relax. I continue to take deep breaths until I feel myself completely relaxed.

"I'm so sorry Beth. I am s-so sorry. I have not been myself since th-the day I learned h-he had died," I stutter quietly.

She stops patting my back and pulls me into a hug. "I know. I know."

~-~-~-~
"You coming with us tonight?" I look up from my computer. I'm on my bed editing a book. Beth is standing in the bedroom opening.

It was four hours after my huge breakdown, and Beth had sat with me for two of those hours. She had comforted me and talked to me. I was able to get some of my feelings out without fully shouting at her. She gladly listened and helped me calm down and feel a little bit better.

After the two hours, she had left to go back to the church to work at an outreach they were having.

I sigh. "Where are you and Josh going?"

"Next town over to go hang out."

"Basically, I'll be third wheeling."

She laughs and says, "C'mon, you know it won't be that bad."

I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to my computer. "It's only been a month and a half, Beth. I'm not ready."

She sighs and comes and sits at the foot of the bed. "It's just dinner."

I shake my head. "I told you, I'm not ready. Plus, I have a meeting with my boss tomorrow."

"Okay," she says as she gets up from the bed.

Right before she leaves the bedroom, I say, "Thank you."

She turns back around and smiles at me. "That's what friends are for."

I nod, and she walks out. I sigh when I hear the door close. I take the computer off my lap and set it on the nightstand. I hop off of the bed and go into the bathroom. I look at my reflection in the mirror.

When I see how I look, I scowl. My hair is going everywhere and looks like I just woke up. It has more tangled than I can count. I have no make-up on and bags under my eyes from loss of sleep. Basically, I am a walking nightmare.

I brush my hair carefully, pull it back into a ponytail, and put on some concealer, mascara, eyeshadow, and some lip gloss. I then change into a loose red blouse and throw on a pair of blue jeans. I slip on some wedges and a necklace. I grab my purse and hurry out of my room and out of the bed and breakfast. I walk down the street slowly, not caring if anyone recognizes me.

I soon realize that that was a mistake.

"Oh my goodness! Why, isn't that Kate Garner?" a loud voice with a strong Texas accent says from behind me.

I take a deep breath and turn around to see "the town gossip." Okay, you know how small towns tend to have one of those women that is always in other people's business? Well, this lady is that woman, and she has redefined the phrase, "a town gossip."

I do an awkward wave before slowly going toward her open arms. Her arms wrap around me tightly, and I almost choke from the scent of her perfume.

When she finally lets me go, she says, "When did you get here? Where is that cute boy, James? Aren't you guys getting married soon?"

I feel the tears coming as soon as she mentions James. I begin to try to stammer a reply. Fortunately, Beth comes to my rescue.

"There you are, Kate! I've been waiting for you!" she excitedly shouts as she approaches us.

I give her an extremely thankful look. She just nods before turning to "the town gossip" and telling her that we have to go immediately. In less than five minutes, Beth is dragging me to Josh's truck. Once I get in Beth turns to me and gives me a sly smile. I groan and shake my head.

"Yes," she says while smiling.
"No," I groan.

She nods her head. I shake my head. We keep going back and forth until Josh loses his patience and slams his hands against the steering wheel.

"Will y'all just stop and make up your minds?" he says loudly with his Texas accent more pronounced than usual.

"You're coming with us," Beth says.

I sigh in defeat and say, "Fine."

She claps her hands like a little kid and tells Josh to start driving. He gladly pulls the truck out of park and starts driving the truck down the road and out of town.

"This is going to be fun," I mutter sarcastically.

~-~-~-~
"Come dance, Kate!" Beth calls out to me from the dance floor. I roll my eyes and stay in my seat.

I look down at my drink and sigh. Sitting here all alone was torture. I should have someone with me, but I do not. I look up from my drink and see happy couples all around me. They're all laughing as though they do not have a care in the world. Beth is smiling up at Josh with the most romantic look on her face. It is too much for me to take.

I push my chair out and grab my purse. I walk out of the bar and out to the seats outside. Luckily, there is not a single person out there. I sit down in one of the chairs and set my purse on the chair next to me. I take my ponytail out and run my fingers through my hair while letting out a small groan.

"Tough day?" I look up and see a guy with warm brown eyes looking at me.

His eyes are not the only thing I notice. He has dark brown hair and one of those smiles that makes most girls swoon.

I let out a small bitter laugh. "More like a tough month and a half."

He looks concerned but amused. "May I?" he asks as he points at the chair across from me.

I shrug. "Sure."

He pulls the chair out and sits down. he crosses his muscular arms and sets them on the table. "I can't imagine why a pretty girl like you would be having such a hard time."

I smirk. "Did you pick up that cheesy line from a book? If you did, you're going to have to do way better than that."

He laughs and says, "You're a tough one."

I give him one of my rare smiles and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. Suddenly, his whole demeanor changes. His smile goes away, and he looks at me with a puzzled and almost cold look on his face.

He stands up and moves to walk away, but I stop him and ask, "What's wrong?"

He rakes his fingers through his dark hair and stammers, "I um..."

I raise my eyebrow and say, "You um what?"

"I have to get going," he blurts out before rushing away.

I lower my head and blink a few times, trying to figure out what I had said or done to make him run off like that. I look down at my left ring finger and twirl around my engagement ring. It hits me as to why he ran off.

The first time he saw me, I had run my right hand through my hair. The second time, I had used my left hand, so he must have seen the ring. I forgot that I still wore my engagement ring.

Having him run off, made me feel sad yet happy. I was happy because I hated having guys come up to me and expect me to fall on my knees in front of them. I was sad because I had actually enjoyed talking to him. I mean, I was not going to date him or anything, but he seemed like a really sweet guy. Plus, he had made me smile.

"Hey Kate, you ready to go?" Beth asks as she walks up to me with Josh close behind.

I nod and stand. I pick up my purse and turn to look in the window. I see the brown eyed guy sitting with a large group of people. I have no idea how it happened, but he turned and looked at me at exactly the same time I looked at him. Our eyes met, and I quickly turned my head. I hurried to the truck and took a deep breath.

I made a resolution on the way back to South Hart. From now on, I was going to stick with my work and avoid going out as much as possible. I am not ready to go to places and interact with others without James, my other half.

______________________
Quickly edited! Please point out any mistakes you may see (even though I won't be able to see the notifications immediately).

If you already don't know, I will not be able to be on Wattpad, starting Saturday (tomorrow). I will be back on next Saturday😓. Yes, I will sadly be off for a week.
For that, I am very sorry but will be ready to be back and updating.

Thanks for all the support in the last few chapters!

Again, please point out any mistakes!
~CGirlyGirl