~{Chapter 4}~

Turns out he wanted to ask my permission to marry Beth. Why he wanted to ask my permission is a mystery, but I did, hesitantly, give my permission and blessing.

I know that I should be happy for them, but it just reminds me that she has all the happiness while I have all the hurt and suffering. I do not see how that is fair in any way. I love her, but I just wish something would go right in my life.

"We're here," Josh said.

I looked up from my phone and looked around me. I was greeted with smiling people and the same old stores. I looked to the center of the town and saw the old white gazebo and white benches. He drove towards the local diner and parked.

"It hasn't changed a bit," I told him as I hopped out of the car.

"It hasn't, but you have."

I gave him a weird look before walking into the diner. It was just like I had left it. The same outdated decorations and seating. There were a few tourists, but it was mostly empty. I spotted Beth immediately and hurried over to her.

Before I could sit, a familiar lady grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "My dear Kate! It's so good to have you back. We've all missed you and can't wait to hear about your experiences in the big city. Anything you want to eat is on the house!"

I pulled out of her hug and said, "It's good to see you too, Mrs. Tucker."

She smiled at me and turned to Josh and said, "Thanks for bringing her by my dear son."

"I knew you wanted to see her, Mom. I also knew that she would be hungry."

She laughed at her son's response and said to all three of us, "I guess that's my cue to leave!"

She hurried off to the kitchen, giving me a chance to sit down and avoid any more talk. Beth smiled at me and took a sip of her lemonade. She looked at Josh expectantly.

"I asked her," he said.

"And?" she prodded.

"She said she's fine with it."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure that she didn't say that, but I think you have some work to do."

"Yeah. I'll put her luggage in your car, babe," he said as he turned to leave.

"I don't think so mister," she said as she tapped on her cheek.

He laughed and gave her a peck on the cheek. She laughed and pushed him to get out. He gave her another peck and hurried out the door before she could push him again. I felt myself cringe as I watched this exchange. It just reminded me of what I had lost.

I guess it was pretty obvious that I was upset because she looked at me with concern and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring back memories."

I shook my head and gave her a fake smile. "It's fine. You can't let my memories change your relationship with him. I'll get used to it."

She gave me a grateful smile. "I know that it probably wasn't the best time to bring up all this love stuff. I just wanted to get your blessing. I know that you know how much I value your opinion and blessing."

I nodded my head. "I know."

She sighed and said, "Thank you. Now, let's eat."

I quickly chose what I wanted to eat, and we had a great lunch. Despite the fact that everything was going right for her, I knew that I needed to accept it and support her.

After lunch, she took me to the small bed and breakfast. This had not been here when I left. I noticed that it looked just as old as the other buildings. However, when you stepped inside, it was like you were in a whole different world. It had modern furnishings and fixtures. To balance the modern out, there were walls covered in white shiplap and other rustic finishes. There was a large fireplace on one wall.

"Wait here," Beth told me.

I nodded and watched her walk to a door in the back of the large room. I walked over to a couch in front of the fireplace and looked around me more. I could tell that the person who owned the place had worked hard to bring a bit of modern into the small town but keep the same rustic feel. The owner had done a good job.

"Kate, there is someone I would like for you to meet." I stood and saw Beth approaching me with a middle-aged woman by her side.

I held out my hand to the woman and said, "Kate Garner."

She took my hand and gave it a firm shake before saying, "Violet Parker."

"She owns this place," Beth explained.

"You did a great job with all the furniture and fixtures, Mrs. Parker."

She laughed and said, "Thank you. Just call me Violet. I understand that you need a place to stay for a little bit. I can gladly offer you one of my suites."

"Thank you so much," I told her.

She smiled and led me to the front desk. She got me a key and had my suitcases taken up to my room. She chatted with me for a little while before leading me up to my room. I thanked her again. She brushed it off and left me to the peace of my room.

I took a deep breath and looked around me. The room had huge windows overlooking the back landscaping. There was a fountain with stone paths leading in different directions. There was a desk next to the window. The bed was a queen sized bed and had a nightstand on either side. Where I was standing, was the living room part of the room. There was an opening in the wall that allowed me to see through to the bedroom part. There was another small desk in the living room, along with a large flat screen TV.

After looking around the room, I moved to my suitcases and laptop bag. I immediately got my laptop out and set it up at the desk in the bedroom. Next, I began to unpack my first suitcase. Before long, I had managed to unpack my two large suitcases and small shoulder bag.

By that time, it was time for me to eat. I took my hair out of my messy bun and brushed through it. I touched up my mascara and eye shadow. I then took my purse and hurried out of the bed and breakfast to avoid talking to Mrs. Parker. Do not get me wrong, I like the lady, but I really did not want to have another bubbly conversation. I wanted to be with myself for a little while. In fact, I do not want to really talk to anyone.

I was going to accomplish this goal by ordering take-out from Bella's Steakhouse. I know that not many people will be there. Bella's Steakhouse is considered the "nice" restaurant in South Hart. Mrs. Tucker's Diner is the most common place for someone to eat at, and then there are only two other places to eat. The first place is a small bakery called, Madame's. The second is the Tea Room. If you wanted more variety, you had to go to the neighboring towns and cities.

"How may I help you?" the hostess greets me as I walk into Bella's Steakhouse.

"I'd like to order take-out," I reply.

She smiles and leads me over to the place I can order. I thank her and browse the menu for a few minutes before ordering my food. I sit for about ten minutes watching people come and go as I wait for my food. No one seems to recognize me as they walk by me. I sigh with relief.

Soon enough, my food is delivered to me, and I can leave. I hurry out the door and down the street to the dirt road that leads to my favorite place. I stop at the General Store and buy a lantern, matches, and a blanket. Unfortunately, the owner recognizes me and talks to me for a few minutes. I give him short answers, in hope that he will not talk to me for long. He seems to get the message and finishes the conversation in less than ten minutes.

I hurry out the door and down the dirt road. I get to my spot in less than five minutes. I step off of the dirt road and into the field. I get to the middle of the field and spread my blanket on the grass. I set down my bag with my food in it and light one of the matches to light the lantern. I set my purse down and sit down on the blanket. I open up my food and begin to eat.

As I eat, I gaze up at the sky and look at the stars. Unlike New York City, you can actually see the stars. I look back down and finish my food. When I finish, I lay down on my back to look at all the stars. I quickly find the Big Dipper and Orion the Hunter. I find myself closing my eyes and flashing back to our first date.

~-~-~-~
"James, where are you taking me?" I giggle.

He shushes me and says, "You'll see in a second."

He keeps his hands over my eyes and keeps leading me. Soon, we come to a stop, and he takes his hands off of my eyes. I hold my breath as I look in front of me. There is a blanket with candles and food on it. I turn to look at him and smile.

"You did this?" I whisper.

He smiles and hugs me as he whispers, "I wanted to make today special. After all, it is our first date as boyfriend and girlfriend."

I pull out of the hug and sit down on the blanket. He laughs and sits down across from me. He hands me a plate of food and says a prayer.

"Well, do you like the food?" I laugh at how serious his face is.

"James, it's from Bella's Steakhouse. Of course I like it."

He suddenly grimaced. "I should have gotten something else, shouldn't I?"

I become serious and say, "I was joking. James, this is the most romantic thing you have done. I love it."

"You sure?"

I smile and pat his arm. "Yes."

He smiles back at me and hurries to finish his food. He ends up finishing about five minutes earlier than I do. He takes my plate and clears off the blanket so we can lay on our backs. I smile and lay down about a foot away from him. We sit in silence for a few minutes. I gaze up at the stars and think about how lucky I am.

"Kate?" I turn my head and see James looking at me.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I ask him curiously.

He sits up rolls on his side to where he is directly facing me. He rests the side of his head on his hand.

"Thank you for helping me avoid temptation," he says quietly.

I sit up and lay in the same position he is in. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't snuggle up really close to me. If you had done that, I probably would have had impure thoughts. I thank you for that."

I smile at him and say, "Your purity is just as important as mine."

He sits all the way up and offers his hand. I take it and stand up next to him. He entwines his fingers in mine. He does not speak for a few seconds.

When he does speak, he says, "Kate, my mind works differently then yours. To have you automatically separate yourself from me without me having to ask you, really shows me something. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

I squeeze his hand and say, "I'm glad you told me that."

He lets go of my hand and faces me. "Kate, I need to tell you something."

I smile and take his hand back in mine. "Yes?"

He takes a deep breath and says, "I know that most girls expect a guy to kiss them on their first date. I'm not like that. I don't go around kissing girls, and even though I know that you are probably the most amazing girl I have taken out, I don't feel as though I can kiss you."

I am taken by surprise at what he says. "What are you saying?"

He takes another deep breath and says. "I mean that I have made a vow that I am not going to kiss a girl on the lips unless I propose to her."

I smile at how nervous he seems. "I think you're going to have to change that vow."

"You know I can't do that. Even for you, I can't do that."

I squeeze his hand and say, "That's not what I mean."

He gives me a puzzled look. "Then what do you mean?"

"After I got saved, I made a vow to not kiss a guy on the lips until my wedding day."

He lets go of my hands and asks, "Are you being serious? You're not just saying that?"

I laugh. "I would never lie about something like this."

He smiles at me takes my face in between his hands and gently pulls me a little closer. He puts his arms around my waist and bends down to whisper something in my ear. I feel his warm breath on my neck as he gets closer to my ear. He whispers those three words that I have always wanted a guy to say to me.

"I love you."