I want y'all to know there will be quite a bit more about my faith and beliefs in the next two chapters. I want to let y'all know that I'm not trying to push my faith onto anyone. It isn't my intention to offend anyone.

These next few chapters are filler chapters but important for character development. Exciting things will happen soon.

Please enjoy and please be respectful.

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~{Chapter 17}~

The next day is Saturday, so I walk into town to go eat at the Tea Room. I need to eat something light because I am going for a run after I eat, and I do not want to throw up.

I walk inside the cute little lunch place and order a sandwich and a bottle of water. I pay for my food and receive it almost immediately. I sit down at a table in the corner of the small building and bite into my sandwich.

Ring, ring.

I unlock my phone, not bothering to look to see who it is, and say, "Hello."

"Hey, Kate," Matt's voice says.

I smile. "How's my favorite musician doing?"

He laughs. "Better. Thanks for your advice. Once I focused on what you said, I really felt the words coming. I can't wait for you to hear it!"

I laugh. "Me neither! Has your manager heard it or seen it?"

"He's on his way over. I wanted to call you so I could calm my nerves. I'm so worried."

"A supportive manager will look beyond the money and the fame. If he's the manager you need, he'll listen and give you support. Just take a deep breath. I know you'll do amazing."

"Thanks, Kate. You always know what to say."

I smile. "I'll talk to you later, okay? I have to go on a run to clear my head."

"Okay. Are you alright?" he asks worriedly.

"I'll tell you later. Good luck! I'll pray for you!" I say.

"Thank you! Talk to you later," he says before hanging up.

I throw my trash away and leave the Tea Room. I plug my earphones into my phone and place them in my ears. I turn my running playlist on and begin to jog down the street back toward James' and my field. I jog down a faded trail and let my thoughts take over.

Mr. Parker was right about how my emotions are going to try to get the best of me because of the Devil. I already feel myself going back to the person I was after James' death, and I do not want to go back to that person. I have come too far to go back to that sad woman.

I have gotten my true joy back, and I can not let Satan take that away from me. I have stopped blaming myself, and it needs to stay that way. I know I will see James' again, so I should be happy for that. I just have to take it one day at a time.

Trust me.

"I will, God. I will," I whisper as I quicken my pace.

I look down at my watch and see I have been running for almost an hour. When I get near to my house, I start sprinting and ignore the feeling of my legs burning. I have to finish strong.

When I reach the steps leading to my front door, I stop and take a second to calm my breathing.

Finish the race.

"This race has been long and hard. I'm trying," I pray.

You'll be able to finish it. Trust me.

I smile and walk into my house. I go up to my room and to my bathroom to take a shower. When I get out of the shower, I quickly slip on my blue jeans, a cute top, and leather boots.

Downstairs, I get a cup of water and sit down at my island with my laptop in front of me. I open up Wattpad and look through to see if there are any new updates. Unfortunately, there is not, so I go to my email and see if I have any important emails. I do not.

I turn on my Bluetooth speaker and hook my phone up to it. I start playing one of my playlists from Spotify while I decide to make a batch of cookies. I mix my dough and roll balls for at least an hour. Baking helps me relax, and it makes my house smell really good.

Knock, knock.

I wipe my hands on a towel as I walk to the front door. I check my face in the mirror before swinging the door open.

"Hi, Kate," Beth says as soon as I open the door.

I smile. "What's up?"

"May I come in?"

I laugh. "Of course! I was just making some cookies and listening to music. Please join me in the kitchen."

She follows me to the kitchen and sits at the island. "It smells wonderful. What kind did you bake?"

"Chocolate peppermint. Now, you look like you need to tell me something," I say when I see her face looking distressed.

She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "It's Sam."

I raise an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"Everything."

"Did y'all fight?"

She shakes her head. "No, but I just don't understand him whatsoever. Kate, this is my first relationship after Josh, and it's all so confusing."

"What did he do to make you confused?" I ask as I go to sit next to her.

"He's been asking me all these questions about me."

I almost burst out laughing, but I manage to keep it together for her sake. "People usually ask each other questions about themselves when they're trying to get to know each other."

She rolls her eyes. "They've been really deep and personal questions."

"Give me an example," I say as I pick a cookie up to eat, handing her one as well.

She takes the cookie and takes a bite before saying, "Have you decided to wait to have your wedding night for your actual wedding night?"

I almost choke on my cookie as I try to swallow, and it leads to me having a coughing spell that makes my face turn red. Beth pats my back jokingly as she laughs at me.

"You okay there?" she asks when I am finally done coughing.

I roll my eyes and say, "I think the question is, are you okay?"

She sighs. "We've only been dating for like a month and a half, and he's already asking me these questions. It's so weird."

"Have you asked him any deep questions? Does he force you to answer his questions?" I ask.

"No, and no."

"What are other questions he's asked you?"

"Well, how long I've been a Christian and what I think Christianity is. It's mostly been things about my faith and such."

I smile. "It sounds like he's very different than Josh."

"Really?" she says sarcastically.

I smile and ignore her sarcasm. "He sounds like a really good guy. If you think about it, that virginity question really goes with all the other Christian questions. Plus, he seems to have some really high standards."

She sighs. "I don't know. It seems like he's moving too fast."

I shrug my shoulders. "Look, just take a second to think about it. He's asking you a lot about your faith and Christian beliefs, and he is a Christian, right?"

She nods her head. "He's a lawyer and occasionally fills in for the pastor in the neighboring town."

"Okay, it sounds like he's a Christian. He seems to really like you and respect you. Would you rather have a shallow guy or a deep guy?"

She sighs. "I don't know anymore."

I sigh with her and say, "If you're this confused, you should just ask him why he's been asking all these questions. Let him know your boundaries. If he truly cares about you, he'll understand that the questions he ask may be making you uncomfortable. Just try it."

She nods as she stands up. "I'll be thinking about it."

I smile at her. "Good."

She gives me a hug and grabs another cookie before walking to the front door. "Thank you."

"Anytime. I'll see you later."

She nods and leaves. I put my cookies in a box with a piece of bread because bread apparently keeps the cookies moist. I then wash the dishes. When I finish, I go sit on my couch and turn the TV on.

I pick my phone up as I watch and check my emails, messages, and social media. I then go to my Bible app and read my daily dose of God's word. I am currently reading Philippians.

I find myself really contemplating the words, and I find comfort in them. Not only have I grown closer to my wonderful Father after coming home from New York, I have also learned more and more about Him and myself.

You see, my life has not been the easiest. I have had my fair amount of struggles, but I have also had my fair amount of good things. Things will happen, but people's true character will be revealed when you see how they deal with their struggles.

Take Beth as an example. What happened to her was pretty bad, but she found a way to look on the positive side of things. She found a way to push on and even find love again.

Violet Parker is another example. Her husband died, and she blamed herself for so long. Though she might have had a rough patch, she found a way out through her faith. She found a way out and helped me.

Even Mrs. Tucker is a great example. She has had to deal with her son's choices, yet she still loves him. She is still so kind to Beth, and she has continued to live a happy life.

Ding, ding!

I snap out of my reverie and look down at my phone. It is a text from Matt.

How are you doing?

I smile and text back.

Better. How'd your meeting go?

I wait a few minutes before my phone dings to tell me he has replied.

My manager was more supportive than I thought he was going to be. He still wasn't super thrilled, but he's getting there. Are you alright? Please answer my question.

I laugh.

Just Satan trying to make me depressed again. Don't worry, I'm a lot better. I just finished reading part of Philippians; it was a great read.

I send the message and get up to make some dinner for myself because it is already almost six-thirty. My phone dings while I am making myself an omelet, but I finish cooking it and wash the dishes I just used before I go look to see what he said.

Happy you're doing better. Just remember to trust God and keep pushing. Philippians is a great book... Gtg... I'll talk later.

I type back a quick reply before turning my TV off and eating my dinner. When I finish, I take my laptop and phone upstairs to my room. I put on my pajamas and go to the bathroom to wash my face. I turn off the bathroom light and walk over to my bed when I finish in the bathroom.

I slip underneath the covers, and I prop myself up against a couple of pillows and place my laptop on my lap. I open my Wattpad account and start reading a new story. I find myself drawn into the story that is about a woman who has walked through many struggles and is still walking through struggles.

I can truly relate to the book, so I go to look at the person's profile. I find out that she a teen writer, and she is only sixteen. I quickly privately message her, telling her I am a book editor who works for Parker Editing and Publishing.

I close my laptop and place it on my other nightstand, plugging it in and turning that lamp off. I plug my phone in on the nightstand that is on my side and turn that lamp off. I then grab my remote that switches off the main lights and press the 'off' button.

I lie down and think about my day as I slowly drift off to sleep. The hope I have found is not going anywhere. I am determined to not let Satan get to me and ruin it. God has carried me all this way, and I trust He will continue to carry me.

"I still miss you, James, but I know I'll be okay. You were right. Our love can't be separated," I whisper before I slip into sleep.