~{Chapter 10}~

His brown eyes widen slightly when he sees me, and he nervously says, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll come by later."

He's addressing Violet, but I say, "No, please come in. I was just about to leave. I need to get back to work."

He hesitates. "Are you sure?"

I nod my head and stand up, grabbing a tissue to dab my eyes. I give Violet a soft hug. She squeezes me comfortingly and whispers a few encouraging words into my ear. I lean back and give her a smile of thanks for her time and kind words.

I turn to leave and almost walk out when I hear, "You must be my long lost nephew. You look exactly like your father when he was your age."

I turn back around and ask, "You're Mr. Parker's son?"

They both look at me while he's the one that answers. "Yes. You are?"

I walk towards him and hold my left hand out. "Kate Garner."

I can tell he recognizes the name. He shakes my hand. My ring pokes him softly, causing the kind look to fade slightly. He quickly recovers and smiles.

"It's nice to finally meet you. My dad has told me a lot about you," he says.

I pull my hand back and discreetly play with my ring; it's something I've begun to do when I'm nervous. I can tell he's searching for something to say, and Violet is also searching for something to say. I feel like I'm back in the awkward middle school stage.

"Well," I say slowly, "I should really get back to work, but it was really nice to meet you." I turn and look at Violet. "Thanks for your help."

She smiles at me before I turn and leave. I hurry to my office. I stay holed up in there for the rest of the day, only stopping a few times to go to the restroom and get water and some food.

By the time my other employees go home, I've worn myself out. I turn my chair to face the backyard of the office. The sun has almost set and twinkling stars are already beginning to scatter all across the sky. While in the city, I missed the big twinkling stars Texas has.

I close my eyes and just feel an overcoming sense of calm come over me. Although, I still feel a little disturbed about what happened to me in Violet's office.

All of a sudden, I hear, "I'm here."

I keep my eyes closed and try to ignore the voice.

"Call on me."

I fight the urge to answer.

"You know I love you. I want to help. Let me help you."

I keep fighting the urge to answer.

"You're not alone. I love you. You're  my child, remember that."

Tears fill my eyes as I give in to the voice. "I hear you, God."

For the next twenty minutes or so, I cry and call on God. It's the first time I've talked to Him in a long time. I've missed Him. I've been trying to do everything myself.

"God, I'm so sorry. I love you so much! Please, forgive me. I've forgotten about you. I've abandoned you. I've tried to do everything myself. I can't do it by myself. I realize that, now. I ask you to please come back and help me," I wipe tears out of my eyes and take deep breaths.

Somebody clears their throat. I spin around and see Mr. Parker's son, the brown eyed guy, standing awkwardly in front of my desk. I quickly try to wipe some of my tears away as I stand to greet him.

"I'm so sorry. I can leave if you want me to," he says.

I nervously laugh before I say, "It's a little late for that, I think. You must think I'm a total loon by now."

He chuckles slightly. "Why would I think that?"

I laugh at his effort to make the situation less awkward. "Thanks for that. Now, what can I do for you?"

He hesitates before asking, "I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat. My dad told me you could help me with my studio problem."

"Oh, sure. I actually was planning to make dinner tonight, so why don't you come to my house. We can talk about it there."

"Thanks for doing all of this."

I smirk. "Did I have a choice?"

"I guess not."

I laugh. "Well, we better get going. You can follow me."

"Sounds good. Do you need any help with your things?" he asks as he gestures to the stack of papers on my desk.

I shake my head. "No thanks. I'm leaving that stuff here."

"Okay." He smiles.

I smile back. "Okay."

~-~-~-~
"Man, my dad must really like your work," Mr. Parker's son comments upon seeing my house.

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Well, I've never heard of him ever investing in a new branch unless it will definitely work. I've also never heard of him building a brand new house for an employee."

"Oh," is all I say as I lead him inside.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm sure you're fantastic at your job, but he's never done anything like this before."

"I'm pretty sure you just insulted your father again," I say as I set my things down and go to the kitchen.

"How?" he asks as he follows me into the kitchen.

"You said that he's never done anything like this. It sounds like you don't think your father is kind enough to be this considerate," I reply, jokingly.

He catches on and laughs. "Point taken."

"Well..." I was going to say his name while I ask him what he wants for dinner, but I just realized he never told me his name.

"Well, what?" he asks with a twinkle in his eyes.

I don't want to ask him what name is, but his name is kind of important. "I was going to ask you what you wanted to eat."

"Anything is fine. Actually, make something that I can help you with. I hate watching people cook while I do nothing."

"How very considerate."

"I sense sarcasm in the statement," he says.

I jokingly gasp. "Now, why would you say that?"

He laughs at my reaction. "You're a jokester, aren't you?"

I laugh. "Actually, I haven't laughed like this or joked in quite awhile."

My face falls, and he notices. "Well, um, I'm glad I could be the one to help you laugh and joke around."

I put on a brave face and jokingly ask, "What is the name of the person who has helped me laugh and joke around?"

He rakes his fingers through his hair as he says, "I forgot to tell you my name."

I laugh. "You noticed!"

He walks out of the kitchen and out of my sight. In a few minutes he comes back in. He holds his hand out, making me confused.

"Hi," he says, "I'm Matthew Parker, but you can call me Matt. Who are you?"

Realizing what he's doing, I shake his outstretched hand and hold in a laugh. "Catherine Garner. My friends call me Kate."

"Nice to meet you, Catherine," he replies.

I drop his hand and say, "Now that I know your name, you want to help me with dinner?"

He laughs. "Sure. What are we making?"

"Spaghetti."

For the next thirty minutes or so, we cook noodles, sauce, and even some garlic bread. The best part of making dinner was being able to have a real conversation with him. I mean, last time I talked to him, it was about a three minute conversation. He had gotten weird and quickly left. Plus, we actually know each other's names.

We talked about all sorts of things. I learned more about his career and his personality. He's kind, calm, and considerate. He thinks a lot and knows what he wants in life. He's happy and never likes seeing someone having a bad day. I know that sounds like a lot of information for only knowing him a few hours, but he's a pretty open person.

I told him about my work, some of my hobbies, and a few things about myself. I didn't tell him about my ring, and he didn't ask. I didn't tell him about my tough past. I was guarded, and he knew that, but he respected it.

"Earth to Kate," I snap my head around and see Matt staring at me with an amused expression.

"What'd you say?"

"Food's ready and you're still standing in front of the stove."

"I was lost in my thoughts," I say.

"Obviously."

"Don't get smart with me. Remember, you're depending on me for your studio," I say with mock seriousness.

He salutes. "Yes ma'am. Now, would you like to sit down and eat?"

I laugh as I sit down. I bow my head to pray. I pray for the meal and thank God for the gift of a new friend. Soon, we're digging into the meal. We eat and laugh some more, making me realize how much I've laughed while around him. I haven't known him long, but I'm starting to already see him as a good friend.

After dinner, he helps me wash the dishes, and we sit down to watch a movie. Being the typical girl, I pick a chick flick. He wasn't excited, yet he didn't complain too much. That surprised me.

I sit on the couch while he decides to sit on the ground. The movie goes by fast. When it's over, he jumps up and begins to say goodbye. I give him a friendly hug before closing the door behind him and heading off to bed.

~-~-~-~
"What are you thinking about?" I snap out of my daydream and see James looking at me with a worried expression.

He turns the TV off as he turns to give me his undivided attention. He takes my hand in his and uses his free hand to gently finger my hair.

"It's nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Kate," he replies.

"I can't get anything past you," I say.

"That's right."

"I'm just worried."

"About?"

"Us."

He stops playing with my hair and scoots closer to me. "Why are you scared? Am I not being the person you want?"

I quickly reply, "No! You've been absolutely perfect."

He sighs with relief. "What is it?"

"What happens to us when you're not around?"

"What are you saying?"

"You and I both know you won't be living in New York City forever. You'll be gone, and I'll be alone."

He smiles. "You won't be alone. You have God. Plus, you're strong. Our relationship is unbreakable. We'll be fine. I can promise you that."

"I wish I could believe you. I just can't bear to lose anyone or anything else."

He gingerly squeezes my shoulder. "How long has it been since you've lost someone? It's been a long time. Kate, you're being watched over. Whatever happens, you'll be fine."

"How do you know that?"

"God is here. He won't let you have more pain than you can bear. He loves you, and I do too."

"What happens if you don't c-come back?" I say with tears beginning to form.

"I will. It may not be in physical form, but I'll be back. Kate, you have my heart. You don't need me to be around, physically, to have me. I've given you my heart. I'll always be in your heart."

I pull him in close and squeeze him like I'm never letting him go. "Thank you."

He makes me lean back and kisses my forehead. "I'll always love you. Even if I don't come back, my love will be with you. Don't close your heart off. Don't keep yourself from loving again."

I smile. "I don't plan on you leaving me for good."

"I don't either, but I still want to tell you to remember to not be afraid to love again. Don't be afraid to love. Promise me you'll give love a chance if anything happens," he says softly.

"I promise."