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Chapter 9 - Jasmine

The door to Xandra's room crashed open, a frantic Jasmine barreling in. "Sunny! Are you okay?" She grabbed a fistful of the sheets and gritted her teeth. "Mark my words when I see that–"

Xandra sighed with a hand on her throbbing forehead. "I'm fine."

"You aren't!" Jasmine snapped with a finger pointing at her. "I heard what–"

"Jasmine," came Xander's voice, followed by footsteps. He gave Jasmine a reprimanding look before sitting on a chair beside Xandra. She was leaning against the bed frame, hands still massaging her temples.

"Drink up." Xander instructed, holding the glass of water out to her. Xandra took it with half a mind, eyes still closed. The chill water cascaded down her throat, cooling it down at least a little. Her eyes hurt. Her mind ached. She felt hot all over.

"You have a fever." Jasmine said, palm firmly pressed against her forehead. Xandra opened her eyes for the first time to see the blurry face of her friend. Jasmine's eyebrows were knitted close, lips pulled downwards.

"We told you to rest, Xandra." Reprimanded Xander, pulling her attention to him. Like Jasmine, his face was twisted in concern, though his frown was considerably deeper. "I shouldn't have let you accept the job at all."

"I wanted to."

"It obviously wasn't a good decision." He shot back then sighed. "I'm the older one here; mom entrusted you to me. And I say you're not handling the festival anymore."

Xandra's face didn't change as she mulled it over. After a while, she sighed and nodded meekly. The sculpture was still a hot pile of garbage but she was getting tired. And she couldn't care less anymore if the festival sucked.

Beside her, Jasmine cheered and clung to her arm. "Great! Let's hang out!"

Xandra barely registered Xander's chuckle as he left her bed side and walked out of the room.

She turned to Jasmine with a tired gaze. "I have a fever. Don't get too close."

"Like I care?" Jasmine jumped on the bed and only nuzzled closer. "I'm not taking no for an answer. So shut up and cut that depressing crap." She closed her eyes.

Xandra exhaled. "You'll catch my cold."

She mumbled something undecipherable, her breathing slowly becoming labored.

It took a while for Xandra to loosen up, but when she did, the exhaustion of her dream started catching up to her. It was as if she'd slept for ages, yet still woke up like she'd been awake for a hundred years.

The short nap was much more rewarding than the long sleep. And she didn't dream too. When Xandra woke up, Jasmine was already awake. She was silent as she picked at the bed sheets with a thoughtful look on her face.

Xandra stirred, pushing the covers off herself. She wasn't feeling any better than before, but the room was starting to get too stuffy for her.

"Going to shower?" Jasmine asked, uncharacteristically gentle. "You should. You stink." Xandra grimaced.

Without a word, she grabbed clothes and headed for the shower.

Xandra barely remembered anything past that, besides the cool water running down her hot skin. She barely remembered breakfast, Jasmine, or Xander. Her mind swam in circles, trying to find something, yet circling right back to a missing thought. What it was, she didn't want to know.

The glare of the sun stabbed her eyes. The overgrown vines tickled her legs. Cursive blue letters focused on her vision, a sign beaten down and half buried in  ivy.

Soft footsteps approached from behind. Xandra didn't need to turn to see who it was.

"We tried so hard to keep you out of this," Jasmine said. "But you just can't be stopped now huh? I didn't really expect that." A soft chuckle. "I suppose even you can change too."

Xandra kept silent. Jasmine continued with a livelier voice, "Want to go in with me? Or do you want to go back home? You must be tired."

Xandra paused, before stepping over the sign. "No. Let's go."

Jasmine made a surprised squeak at the back of her throat and followed in after her. "Just don't trip over anything okay!"

The park was run down; the swings rusted and creaking with time. One of the seats had already fallen off, disintegrated by rust and woodland creatures. The old path that ran through the park was covered in vines, sticks and fallen branches cracking under their feet.

The park has long since disappeared from its old youth, when the sun used to bathe its children. Now everything that was left was a run down park, covered in crawling vines and thorny bushes. Trees shielded it in an ever freezing gloom.

Jasmine didn't speak a word as they descended further into the back of the park. It was when Xandra stepped closer to the woods that connected the lake from the park that Jasmine held her back.

"We're really coming back..." She averted her eyes, choking out a single word. "There?"

Xandra's brows shot up, the heat from Jasmine's grip keeping her in place. Her mind reeled back to the present. The unforgiving nails digging into her forearm. The overwhelming nostalgia of the path to the lake.

"You know the lake, Jasmine?"

Jasmine looked at her with a confused look. "We used to play there all the time, didn't we?"

Oh. Oh. Xandra exhaled, disappointment seeping into the cracks of her heart. "I... do you want to go in?"

"Why are you asking me?" Jasmine chuckled, though it was awkward. "You're the one that led us here."

Xandra kept quiet. After a while, she faced the woods and continued on her path. Before she could even get five steps in, she had already collapsed on a stump. "Let's just stay here for a while."

Jasmine sat on the ground beside her, poking her in the ribs. "I shouldn't have let you come out. You still have a cold."

Xandra didn't answer. Jasmine continued after a huge gulp of air, "I don't know if you'll listen to me if I say this, but I've been wanting to talk to you."

Jasmine's gaze bore holes on the side of Xandra's face. "You look worse than last I've seen you. Did you take Xander's advice at all?" She paused, making sure to pick her words. "About the psychotherapy sessions?"

"I don't need it."

Jasmine fell silent.

"After the festival...I heard you'll be leaving soon?" She continued in a small voice. Jasmine turned to her with furrowed eyebrows. "Why? Isn't it too early? Summer barely even started yet." She cried out.

Xandra looked forward, closed her eyes, and let out a breath. "It's best that I return as soon as possible."

Jasmine exhaled in disbelief. "Then, do you have any plans of visiting him at all?"

Xandra turned to her, and for a moment, Jasmine swore Xandra's eyes glistened, the corners of her lips twitching. Xandra looked ahead again, staring at the bark of a tree.

"I'm not going to."

Jasmine pursed her lips, annoyance starting to creep into her voice. "I can't believe you've degraded this much through the years, Xandra. Shouldn't you be more mature?"

Xandra furrowed her eyebrows at her friend, "What do you mean?"

"You've always been so cold. Always. But this time you're just pathetic." A tear rolled down Jasmine's cheeks.

"Jasmine..."

Jasmine wiped her cheek with a shocked face. She inhaled again and said in a low voice, "Even you can change after all, even if you were always the one who hated it. But that's not really the problem, no!" She forced a laugh. "Am...am I really that distant now that you can't even open up to me anymore?"

Xandra remained speechless.

"You're not answering? That's fine. I get that." Jasmine continued. "But what's up with you? Acting like nothing bothers you and that you're so unemotional you won't even care for your own friend's death." Anger fumed from her words, eyes burying deep into Xandra's.

"It's annoying."

For some time, none of the two spoke, letting the birds and the sway of the trees fill the silence between them.

Jasmine looked away and straightened up. "If only I hadn't invited you then. If only this bullcrap of a festival never happened. If only I didn't force you to be there–"

"Jasmine you didn't–"

"--If only I'd been more considerate. If only I'd been less of a child, crying like this." A bitter laugh. "Even until now, I'm still such a pain in the ass to you. Forcing you to do whatever I want. You're here now against your will because I bugged you for ten years straight. You were at the festival instead of listening to Manasseh." Her voice began to falter.

She chuckled, staring at the ground. "If you'd been there for him, I doubt we'd be in this position now. It's so stupid that something as little as that can direct whether a person dies or lives. Being human is just so stupid. I'm so stupid, Xandra. I can't believe someone so stupid exists." 

Xandra opened her mouth to say something but Jasmine cut her off with a screech. "Let me finish!" 

She sniffed but instantly continued, "But..." Suddenly shy. "I know you're hurting too. You're hurting much more, that's why I didn't want to leave your side. I thought at least, even if I wasn't truly spared, at least you could understand I'm still here. That I'm still the same Jasmine you know." 

She looked up to her bewildered friend, searching her eyes for the next words. "I'm still not as strong as you, though. I still broke down after all. It's so embarrassing." She wiped her eyes and looked away. 

She caught Xandra's hands, desperation nearly crushing it. "But at least...until we both can visit the lake again, let's be good friends to each other and stay by each other's side?" Xandra could feel every tremor that rocked through Jasmine's hands.

"Jasmine," came Xandra's gentle voice. She opened her mouth to say something, but her friend's serious, brown eyes kept her in place. It was the saddest she's seen her. Her breath hitched in her throat, the sight of her so broken and raw-eyed sending sharp jabs in her chest.

She was right. Xandra laid a hand on hers. I do care more than I thought I had. Her smile faltered, remembering Manasseh. Even though...

"I'm your friend, that will never change, Jasmine." 

Her frown deepened. "We've made mistakes. But it isn't your fault. It isn't your fault at all." 

Jasmine paused, then said with a worried eyebrow. "But do you promise to let me stay?"

***

Hey...popping in for a while. If you've come this far and is enjoying this story, don't forget to hit the vote button! It means a lot and inspires me to push on. I've come to know many people have been confused at the beginning of Counter Clockwise, but if you stayed this far, I would like to know your thoughts on how it's going right now! 

Is everything finally becoming clearer? Counter Clockwise is coming to an end in only 2 chapters + a prologue, so stay tuned!

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