DEATH
Okay, so this chapter took me so long to make, I had to upload it now and finish Part 2 later on. Its was really hard to make cause I had literally no ideas, and I didn't want to do another one of those Death (Part 1) Death (Part 2) things, it takes a bit too much time.
I had a lot of things on my schedule last week and this week, so I'll make sure I'll try to upload ASAP
BTW, this is the last time you'll hear from Whiteclaw until the next book :(
Alright, and also, sorry for the wait LOL:
I couldn't move.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't do anything.
It was as if I was asleep almost, or my body fell asleep. But there wasn't any pain anywhere. It was just.
Dead silent.
I strained to open my eyes, but as if they were sewed shut, I couldn't quite open them. I didn't feel anything inside me either, like my heart just failed. Or perhaps my body gave up.
I remember being burned alive. It was unlike any type of pain and agony I've ever felt. It was the feeling of actually losing yourself, like your soul got ripped away from yourself. Feeling the fire eat your outsides and destroy your inners. And explosions of fury, blood spewing everywhere, and watching death crawl up to you before your final breath.
Now, I just laid in the darkness, eyes trapped within its prison which refused to open. In this position in which I couldn't see, I felt as though I was laying on my side, claws curled up lifelessly, tail just lying dead on the earth, while my spine bent broken and crushed behind me. My legs splayed out, one in which twisted upon my pubis, toe-claw crooked
I strained to open my eyes again.
But nothing happened.
I need to open my eyes, I thought in sorrow, I want to see!
I felt a silent growl vibrate my body as I narrowed and scrunched up my face, putting loads of pressure on my eyelids. It felt painful for some reason, and the more I struggled, the worse it got. I found myself screaming inside, wincing and screeched painfully as I kept going, ignoring the fire in my sight.
Let me see! I cried in my thoughts one last time, and finally after minutes of excruciating pain, they flew open.
Into light.
At first it was light.
It was more like into feet.
There was this impending light from above that shone all around, flashing upon my body like twinkling stars. I could tell that I was in a cave, for a line of darkness cut off the light when I moved my head. My eyes squinted a bit at the foot claws that shifted and moved, ones of my kind.
But I was the last of my kind.
My eyes expanded a bit more as the details of the foot claws came into my sight, before the muscle feelings and hearing of my ears enabled themselves to the warm awakening. I blinked once as they shifted once more, then tapped the toe claw to the earth.
"Whiteclaw?" A voice called softly. It was male Deinonychus voice. My eyes widened as I heard the voices whisper again, and then another nudge. I clicked something, then turned my eyes upward into the shadows of the light.
"Well would you look at that," Another voice entered my brain as I stared, "The white clawed-carnivore is awake."
Where have I heard that statement before? I thought, pushing upwards as my muscles flowed with energy once again, It's familiar almost...
Getting up felt difficult for some reason, and I stumbled a bit to the side where the wall was. Something soft and living went underneath my chest, pausing my fall.
"Easy..." The same voice suddenly warned, "You're not good yet."
I still felt dead all around my body, and yet my skull ached from a powerful ringing noise that shook me. I stumbled to my wobbly feet after a few more sudden drops, still unsteady and off balance, then glanced upwards.
My heart bursted when my eyes laid upon a familiar face.
"Razorclaw?" I sheepishly blinked, for I couldn't even believe my eyes. The brownish grey Deinonychus grinned a bit as he stared at me. Another face nudged me on my side, and from the soft purr in her throat, made me realize that it was Sky.
My heart sank.
Brownclaw's face poked up to the right of me, and he stared at me as if he was seeing a ghost. Thought the same reaction fell from my own face as I looked back at him and a reappearing Amberclaw.
My stomach twisted inside of me as I continued to stare in awe at my brothers and my dead pack, standing tall, strong, and alive more than ever before me. I felt my toe claws quake in fear.
"B-But.....a-aren't you all....you're all...." My stomach twisted again, and when that thought sank into my own gut, I realized what had happened. To me.
"Yeah," Amberclaw muttered, "We're are."
My head became woozy and a sickness of no origin flooded into my stomach. Before I could faint at the last second, I drew my foot back to catch myself, then bent my knees as I stumbled onto my claws. My hands shook harder and harder on the soft earth, and emotions washed all over my scales. I blinked back tears quickly, felt them return, then swallowed a horrible sob. Instead, what released from my jaws was a choking exhale from my hyperventilation.
"I'm dead aren't I?" I croaked.
They looked at each other with uncertainty and worry, until finally, Brownclaw and Razorclaw nodded in unison.
This is what it felt like to be dead.
At that very moment, my soul shattered into millions of fragments, and my eyes, once restraining the tears that squeeze to the surface, overflowed with burning salt that trickled down my cheek. I shook harder and harder, silently grieving over what had happened.
To realize that I went all this way.
Just to die in the end.
I dropped to the ground upon my pubis and bent my head, sobbing with another spasm of pain and sorrow, contracting my throat and my chest with more tears.
How could this happen? I whimpered in my mind, I was so close...
I felt Brownclaw pad over to me, lay down on his chest, then press his skull onto my trembling shoulders. Sky did the same, and their comfort made me cry even more. I dug my snout into the earth as I squeezed my eyes shut, struggling to hold down the sorrow that consumed me entirely.
But how could you feel better when you know you failed? When you know you're dead?
The sorrow paused softly into the wind, and as we stood there in the light, my sniffles stopped, and all that remained was my shuddering breaths.
And then an eerie silence.
How could I think so foolishly? I angrily grumbled in my mind, how could I be so stupid in thinking that we could live? I failed so bad, I ruined everything. This is probably what I deserve...
"You okay?" Brownclaw's voice muttered. The gut feeling struck again, but solemnly, I just shook my head from the tears and growled,
"No,.....I'm not okay."
Brownclaw just parted his jaws as I continued, fire raging in my eyes between the lines of sadness and grief, "Because I spent a month....a month Brownclaw! Trying to save everything and everyone from the end of the world. But now I know that no matter what I do, death would find me in some way. He just kept me alive long enough to see me fail."
Tears began brimming below my eyes, but a sniffle dragged them away quickly, "I'm so sorry guys....I failed all of you. I couldn't even save you..."
"Whiteclaw-"
"I messed up so bad!" I croaked, "I'm such a fool for thinking that I could stop this...I'm just a pathetic failure..." I curled my tail and claws again, embarrassed to even stare at the souls that I killed.
"I just fail and fail and fail, because that's what I do best-"
"No you don't," Brownclaw shook his head in disagreement, pressing his roughly-scaled side into me, "This is not your fault."
"How could you say that?"
"Because I know my brother," He clicked, "I know the Deinonychus life you had. Even in death we all saw what you did. You fought for your life just to have a future. You risked your life for others, and you showed us all that fear is more than just for prey. You showed me that fear is life. Fear is pride and hope, fear gives you strength. And as much as you feared yourself you kept fighting for hope. That's what fear was Whiteclaw. And even in your own death you defined it. You were the fear, not the things or ones who emitted it, you were its source!"
I weakly just stared at Brownclaw, seeing his words flow out like rivers of life, cooling my inners to a spark of energy and hope.
"Don't ruin yourself for a mistake that wasn't your own. Blaming yourself wouldn't change a damn thing. But doing something afterwards,.....that's what matters most."
"But what can I do?" I chuffed back, a warm ripple coasting through my scales, "I died. There's nothing to do."
Silence.
"That's true," Sky suddenly chirped, "But y'know he could still see mom and dad."
My eyes widened, and even in death my heart still froze cold, "They're......here?"
Sky nodded.
"C'mon...we'll show you to them."
"They'll freak!" Amberclaw called behind her. I chuckled and grinned. But to see my dead parents again, that's something that'll haunt me and change my life for good. To see the dinosaurs that made me who I was. My heart bursted a bunch of times, but when my breath finally ceased to calmness, I stood up and nodded.
"Okay."
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PART 2~
Sky and the rest of the pack departed, leaving me with Brownclaw and Amberclaw to stroll in awe at the spectacular place. Trees scattered all over the place, and dinosaurs roamed wild and free everywhere I looked. The sky smiled down upon the world, never during dark or losing its power. I turned to Brownclaw, clicking confusingly towards him.
"Is every dinosaur here?"
"I think so," Brownclaw muttered, "When the meteor struck, they all suddenly appeared here. I guess this is like the heaven of our world eh?"
"I didn't think death could be so calm."
"What'd you expect?"
I lowered my eyes, thinking of the destructive world I left behind, "I don't know."
Both of my feet slid through the leaves as we walked, and the chirps of long-gone insects filled my ears. There was a blockage ahead, in which Brownclaw brushed through first. I glanced at Amberclaw confusingly, then followed along without question. Eventually, my body seeped through a little cloud of plants in a mist, then popped out on the other side in a squeezing jerk, where Brownclaw waited. Amberclaw pushed into the clearing as well, and together we looked upon the tall grass and open landscape deprived of the forest behind us.
A strange shrill call made us three all turn, and Amberclaw suddenly stepped backwards.
"That's Razorclaw. He told me he'd need help with something. Are you guys gonna be alright?"
"We'll be fine," Brownclaw muttered, motioned his head towards the forest to usher Amberclaw away. Amberclaw suddenly moved towards me and nudged me, "Glad to see you again friend."
I was speechless, for his body and tail flickered away into the darkness. Brownclaw rumbled in his throat, then tip-tapped into the grass. I was hesitant at first, then with pride and worry surging in my heart, I followed my brother.
The grass was thick and glowing, tickling my sides and scales as I brushed through. I bent my head to the side to avoid Brownclaw's swishing hind, then lowered to a warrior's crouch to move easier and onwards. The sky glowed upon us as we trekked, the breeze moving the grass like waves on the ocean surface. The air was sweet in this foliage, and it actually soothed me internally for this factor. I expanded my nostrils, taking in the sweet and enjoyable chemicals in the new world, and exhales with a slight grin.
This was nice.
Suddenly, the grass parted before us into another clearing, one with a few trees and herbivorous dinosaurs. Their stomps vibrated the earth as I glanced at them, stopping in my tracks to scent their hides and feel the ground rumble.
"Whiteclaw," Brownclaw muttered to me, catching my attention. I turned my head towards him before following his gaze, then cranked my neck towards the sight.
Almost immediately, my stomach writhed inside my chest, and my heart froze.
I saw 3 raptors.
3 familiar raptors.
Dead ones.
Their heads popped up in unison from a huge lake when me and Brownclaw approached them, but I paused short to get a clear image of their complexities. My claws tightened inside, and my tail softly drooped over itself as I gaudily stared jaw-dropped, chest heaving as warm water found its way before my eyes. I wiped them away to see again, and smiled weakly when one of them approached, tall broad and joyful in his step. He stopped a foot claw away from my nostrils, gazing down upon my albino flesh, then dipped his head.
"Good to see you again Whiteclaw," Dad chuckled.
Tears sprung from my eyes, and without hesitation, I rushed to him in a hug. His neck and arms wrapped around my own, and for the first time I felt life flourish in my soul. I felt his chest heave in each breath, and sigh when it sank. And that's when I finally realized that I've reunited with my own father again.
My long lost father.
I sobbed silently as his claws patted onto my spine, and buried my snout into his shoulders. Even my claws tightened on his scales, wishing to never let go. Mom appeared thereafter as the second Deinonychus, and my heart fluttered even more. I found myself on the ground, tears drowning my cheeks to a red glow upon my white flesh while my parents held me low in silence. But after they pulled away, the sorrow's bubble grew, and regretful cries flew from my beak.
"I'm....so....sorry...!"
"No, no, no, don't be sorry," Mom chuffed, licking my wet cheek, "Don't blame yourself little one-"
"I thought I'd never see you again," I wept looking up at both of them, "I thought t-that you were gone.....and dead.....and lost-"
"We're not."
"I had to live without you, and it hurt so much...." I exhaled hard as a knot twisted in my chest, "and I couldn't do it, I failed at doing it, i failed so bad-"
"Whiteclaw!" Dad clicked, locking his eyes upon me, "Please....don't you dare think that way! You didn't fail!"
"It felt like I did," I groaned, gulping hard, "Because I failed in saving everyone. Even myself."
"It doesn't mean that you failed though," Dad proclaimed, "Dying isn't failure."
"But what did I even succeed in? Death?"
A swift wind of silence parted us, and in deep regret, I whispered, "I wished that you could be there besides me, helping me make the right choices, surviving all of this. I wish I hadn't had been alone..." I shifted on the earth and swished my tail guilty, "If there was a chance that I could take to save everything and everyone I know and love, I wish to take it. But I'm all out of chances....we all are."
Silence.
Dad rippled through his flesh before he spoke, "Listen to me Whiteclaw. You are not a failure. You never were in our hearts. You were more than you know, and we saw greatness in you. We knew that no matter what happened to us or to you, that you would succeed, even in death. So don't you cry now...you should be proud. You made us all proud."
I was speechless. For rather than the words that scorched my soul came the skin boiling tears that sank down my face once again. I pressed myself into Dad as he held me, shuddering and embracing him for the second time.
I missed them so much...
I never wanted to let go of that feeling.
Out the little gap between his arm and shoulder was the 3rd raptor that didn't approach me, rather stepped away from me.
A black Deinonychus.
When his eyes fell upon my own, his lips curled, revealing his knife-like teeth and raging eyes. He seemed as though he wanted to fight me, as though he wanted to destroy me.
For my wrongdoings.
As I pulled away from Dad, his lips sank low and head shook at me, before he slipped away into the foliages of grass. And once his tail flickered away, pain sank into my heart again. My claws went up for a second in the act of calling to him, but the horrible feeling rambled around inside my body, freezing my actions. All I could do is croak his name to my own ears.
"Blackclaw."
I bowed my head in shame, knowing that my older brother had been disgusted of me, and even in death he wouldn't regret what I'd done, or what I'd said to him. It didn't seem to flash a hint in mom and dad's eyes when they glanced at their vanishing son.
"Blackclaw missed you too, Whiteclaw," Dad muttered.
My tail drooped. The place where Blackclaw was once standing was now a patch of his footprints, dark and filled with misery of his previous life.
And part of that misery was from my own selfishness.
"Yeah..." I shifted my feet uncomfortably as I responded back, "me too."
Dad's gaze dawned upon my spine, sinking my old scent and different sight into his eyes. For some reason he seemed impressed or rather interested of my body or something he hasn't seen before, and silently his voice cooed in the distance prior to clicking towards me.
"Can you give us a second?"
Mom and Brownclaw shared perplexed faces, before nodding and retreating into the bushes where the grass stood tall and swayed among the trees.
It was just me and dad now.
Dad's shadow fell over me as he nudged my side, before he clicked, "Follow me."
My jaws parted as he headed off before me, and without question or complaints, I trailed behind. We entered a forest-like biome, trees of green and skies of white glowing endlessly around. I picked off some leaves to crumble in my claws, but when I stared back at the broken limb of the tree, a new leaf had magically sprung up.
This was the afterlife.
And despite being here for an hour, it still fascinated me. Dad paused and backed up after he hit a tree nearby me, then cocked his head to point me towards the base of the tree. I stared into his eyes as I moved forwards, rumbling in my throat, then bent my knees low to glance at the soil.
A familiar shape curved in the dirt before me, a sickled-like shape with a flat base, shaded in and turned over to reveal the cool bottom of the earth.
I looked up at dad, then sighed when I shifted my eyes back low.
"It showed up here just days before you died," Dad clicked, "I didn't know what it was until I stumbled upon it while hunting." He rose the scales above his eyes worryingly and silently chuffed, "What happened?"
I placed my claw on the overturned soil, and closed my eyes.
"Dad I..." I trembled, "The....the dinosaurs that I was with....that I was helping. My brothers, my friends.....they all cared about me. They all helped me, loved me, played with me..." I paused in thought before continuing, "A T-rex told me when Shadow died in the clock.....that they were risking their lives to protect each other. But all I protected....all I protected was myself!"
"And you believe him?" He clicked.
"Sadly....I think it's true.......I-I didn't realize this then but I do now....and despite my pain to reject it..." I shuddered, shaking in fear, "I could protect anyone...I couldn't save anyone but myself! How could I be a good dinosaur, how could I be the light when they just saw the dark? I never forgave Drexel for what happened....I never helped Blackclaw out or save him because I was selfish, I left my pack before everything fell apart, I wasn't there to protect Brownclaw or Amberclaw, and I let Shadow die in the clock. So how could I be good? I don't even think I ever was..."
Dad moved slowly to me nostrils flared but eyes glowing with understanding. But his words didn't speak of the words I spluttered, they spoke the real truth.
"I don't think that's a decision that you made with this," he pointed to my chest. I flinched when his cold claws lightly dug into my flesh, but to follow his words, I glanced up, ears perked to see how he'd ever respond, "I saw, we saw what you've done in your life. Me and your mother watched you grow in strength and size, we watched you rise and fall, and we watched you fight for survival. You say these things because it hurts you the most. And I know it feels like a rock sinking in the ocean. What happened to you happened to me. I've lost friends that I cared about, and everyday I'd blame myself for it. I'd break myself apart. But I realized....that...life isn't fair. We have to push through our mistakes to make a future. If we stayed trapped trying to fight yourself and your old pain, it'll come back stronger every time, until it devours your entirely." He paced around me quietly nodding his head, "I met my killer here. And he knew you."
"Drexel?"
"That's right," Dad clicked, "And he's just like you. Except he never had the chance to break away from his pain. He let it consume him. And that anger led to our deaths."
"But you killed his mother," I croaked shaking my bony skull from side to side, "I would've done the same if another killed you." Dad bowed his head and flicked his tail.
"It was a mistake. We thought she was someone else. We had enemies in the past before we had you. And we had to watch our back and take no chances. I'm....I'm sorry if what we did broke you, Blackclaw and your friend. We should've been better than this."
The chirps of prehistoric birds and croaking frogs rang in the air, and before we could veer off topic, Dad decided to follow up with his conversation, "We had to push through our pain, our mistakes. If I didn't forget my pain...I wouldn't have met your mother. I wouldn't be able to see you break out of your little shells, to see you thrive and flourish and frolic in the forest. Yes, we all died, but you lived! You know why?"
I shook my head weakly, "No."
"Because you are stronger than you know."
My jaws parted and my eyes glowed in the light as I recorded his words, replaying them in my mind.
I'm stronger than I think I am?
"Whiteclaw," He said, "I saw something inside of you the day you hatched, that you don't even see in yourself. Are you ready to go find it?"
"Ready to go find it?" I cocked my head, "What do you mean?"
"You're story, believe it or not, isn't over Whiteclaw," Dad proclaimed strangely. I shook my head.
"It is though! Don't you see? I'm dead! My body is gone,......buried, burning, crippled....." I shook just imagining how I'd look like being a dead corpse in a fiery world, "How do you not see that?"
"Because you're still alive."
I parted my jaws and expanded my nostrils, taking a step back in pure wonder and confusion. My teeth gleaming in shock, and my soul inside me took a wild bewildered step backwards.
Still alive?
"What?"
"You're in a coma," Dad clicked, "You never did die."
How? I shook my head in disbelief.
"That can't be...t-the timer went down...everything was supposed to be destroyed, how-"
"Look at your claws son," he chirped. I narrowed my eyes, but following his voice I glanced down upon the sharpened talons. My eyes just widened even more as I squinted to get a better look at it, seeing that it appeared faded and almost invisible. I could even see the specs of the forest floor beneath my feet just by glancing at them.
Was I fading?
I took a step back, "Has....has this been all a....all a dream?"
Dad blinked.
"None of this..." I sank low to the earth as I twisted my claws counterclockwise, then back around, eyes widening as my jaws shook, "None of this was real?"
"No..." Dad clicked quickly, "No this is real. It's been real from the start."
"How am I alive?!" I choked, "It can't be!"
"Don't you know?" Dad released a little purr and a cheek-twitching smile across his primitive face. I looked down at the green earth and thought hard, swallowing back all the memories before the final tick of the clock.
Did the final second ever go off?
"There was no final tick of the clock..." I muttered in realization of what had happened.
Stella destroyed it.
That meant the end foretold to us never did happen!
I mixed my emotions from a surprised and happy rejoicing, to a sorrowful and worried blank stare.
"But those younglings...." I muttered, "But me. If I go back....I'm still going to end up here. The clock's gone, I saw it blow up. There's still no way out."
"No, there is Whiteclaw," Dad chuffed, "You just have to be patient about it."
"But I was the last one!" I croaked, "I saw what happened to everyone else...I don't even know if they made it. It doesn't seem like it. And Stella..." I trailed off, swallowing hard, "I don't even know if I'm going to wake up from this or now."
"In a coma, you will," Dad muttered, "But it'll take time. You might be stuck here for a while. But you'll be safe when you wake up."
"How?"
"Because life just gave you and your friends a second chance."
Okay, so this ending isn't the best, but its the last you'll hear from Whiteclaw until BOOK #2!
BYE BYE Deinonychus *SOB*
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