Kabanata 8

Trust is not given but earned. Just like how things are suppose to be, you cannot expect others to trust you in a world where betrayal exists. Mahirap ito ibigay at naiintindihan ko siya. At kuha ko naman ang punto niya kung bakit hindi niya ito maibibigay agad.

On the contrary, I trust people easily even if my intuitions are sometimes wrong. I believe that if you break my trust once, you can never gain it again. Once is enough when it comes to trusting someone. Mahirap na ibalik ang tiwala sa isang tao, hindi tulad ng ibang bagay na madaling mapagbigyan.

It is also my way to know who really wants to be with me, para sa akin ay nasasala ko kung sino ang totoo at hindi sa buhay ko.

It was our PE, I was sweating because we had to run laps and do various recreational activities for this subject. Isang meeting lang naman ang PE pero sobra sa pagod naman ang mga gawain.

I saw a familiar girl, walking towards another guy who's actually my blockmate. Agad na kumunot ang noo ko.

Isn't that the girl who confessed to Adren?!

"Ang sweet nila, ano? Matagal na 'yung dalawa na 'yan, literal na walang titibag." Suzy exclaimed.

What Adren said was true. The girl is double crossing her boyfriend. My fists tightened. Should I go tell him? Kita ko rito kung paano siya punasan nung babae at mukhang alagang-alaga niya ito.

Ate, magkano magpagawa ng explosion box?

Umiling na lang ako. It's their problem, not mine. I already have a lot on my life, ayoko na dagdagan pa.

Minabuti ko na munang umalis sa pwestong 'yon dahil baka ano pa ang magawa ko.

I saw Adren on one of the benches near the cafeteria, may binabasa siyang libro at seryoso ang bawat paglipat niya ng mga pahina nito.

I can't help but admire how immaculate he looks like from afar. Mukha talaga siyang mabait. Sadly, I think that is only the surface level.

Lumapit ako sa kanya. I was confident that he would at least know who I was now.

Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Bakit ka pinagpapawisan?" tanong niya habang may ngiti sa labi.

Nalaglag ang panga ko. Shit, oo nga pala! Lahat ng yabang ko ay nawala dahil pawisan nga pala ako ngayon!

"Ang h-hot mo kasi," nauutal kong sambit.

Hanimal na sagot 'yan, Arrisea!

"Here," inabot niya ang panyo niya sa akin. "You can use it."

Agad naman akong umiling. "May towel ako sa classroom. Babatiin lang sana kita."

"Well, hello to you too." He decided to smile. As much as he looks good whenever he smiles, pakiramdam ko talaga ay hindi siya ngumingiti nang totoo.

"Did you get rid of it?" tanong ko, pertaining to the explosion box he received.

His gaze went towards me and I feel like being frozen on the spot.

He felt...so cold.

His onyx eyes were like an abyss of darkness. I could not see any emotion in it. Noon pa man ay tanging ang kulay lamang nito ang nakikita ko.

Ito rin ang nagpapalalim ng curiosity ko. Eyes are capable of showing emotion, in fact it's a type of non-verbal communication. Madalas, hindi man sabihin ng isang tao ang nararamdaman niya ay makikita mo naman ito sa kanilang mga mata. Unlike other people, he knows how to hide his emotions so well.

"Yeah," binalik niya ang mga mata niya sa librong binabasa.

I mustered up the courage to ask. Kahit halos walang boses na lumabas sa aking mga labi, I still tried.

"If she didn't have a boyfriend, itatabi mo ba ito?"

It was the first time I saw Adren's smile faltered.

"Hmm?"

Lumapit ako sa kanya, closing the remaining space between us. Hinarap ko siya nang hindi siya makawala sa aking katanungan.

I was scared alright. The thought that he was not the same Adren I built in my mind is already chaotic. Pero gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit siya naging ganito.

It is probably true that curiosity is the one that makes people move. Ito ang isa sa mga bagay na naguudyok sa isang tao na gumalaw para mapunan ang gustong malaman.

"Would you have accept it? O hindi pa rin?" I snapped at him.

Suplado niya akong tinitigan pabalik bago siya ngumiwi. No more traces of his angelic face remained. Although he still has the same features, pakiramdam ko ay hindi na siya ang anghel na binubuo ko sa utak ko.

Tumingin siya sa akin, his eyes darkened and a smirk appeared on his lips.

"Arrisea, did I ask her to do that for me?"

I shook my head.

"Hindi—''

He cut me off by shrugging and looking at me with his furrowed brows. His lips twitched into a thin smile before talking.

"Her time and effort were only wasted because she decided to spend it on me. Kung sa boyfriend niya na lang sana ito ginawa, edi sana wala sa basurahan ngayon 'yung gawa niya."

Umawang ang labi ko.

Did he destroy it, then?! Tinapon niya ba? Bakit ayaw niyang sagutin?

He has a point. Pero hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay pwede na niya itong sirain. If he didn't like it, he could have donated it in a near junk shop. Magkano na rin kaya ang kilo ng papel ngayon.

Matalim ang tingin ko sa kanya. I was not going to back down. Mali ang ginawa niya kahit saan anggulo ito tingnan. It was easier to just reject it.

No one has the right to trample on someone's feelings. Kahit pa anak ka ng kung sinong poncio pilato ay wala kang karapatan.

"Di mo na lang sana kinuha. Tinanggihan mo na lang sana." I point out.

"That's cruel of you, Arrisea. You wanted me to hurt her on the spot?" he said, faking a concern tone.

Teka? Binabaliktad ako nito, ah?

"Bakit ako pa naging masama? Ang sinasabi ko lang sana di mo na lang kinuha kung itatapon mo lang!"

Hanimal 'to! Magkano rin kaya ang gastusin diyan, print pa lang kaya ay mahal na!

"It's funny how you're considering her feelings but not her boyfriend's feelings," pabalang niyang sagot.

Natutop ang labi ko. As much as I wanted to deny it, hindi ko nga talaga iniisip 'yung boyfriend ng babae.

"I knew the girl, Arrisea. You can stalk her if you want," he had a hidden smile on his face. "You can see how much she brags about her relationship on her social media accounts."

"Pero tingnan mo nga naman, she still has time to have affection for others. Tunay nga siyang mapagmahal," he almost hummed. Halatang sarkastiko ang bawat bitaw ng pahayag.

"Dapat sinabi mo na lang sa kanya. Para alam niya kung saan siya mali. Hindi 'yung tinapon mo o kung ano 'yung gawa niya para sa'yo."

He was avoiding my gaze. Alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi na siya nagbabasa. I wonder, is this his way for me not to know what he really thinks?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

He left me there knowing that I was still confuse because of his behavior. Ganito ba talaga siya? Alam kong may dahilan sa ugaling pinapakita niya. Gusto ko itong malaman. He was like a puzzle I wanted to solve. Gusto ko matunghayan kung bakit gano'n ang kanyang pakikitungo kapag walang taong nakatingin.

He was apathetic, to be specific. Hindi tulad ng unang tingin ko sa kanya, parang bumaliktad ang imahe niya sa akin. I thought that he was caring and really thoughtful, pero mukhang maskara lamang ito na sinusuot niya kapag maraming tao ang nakaharap.

"Gio..."

Umangat ang tingin ni Gio sa akin, iritado siya kanina habang pudpod ang mukha sa notebook niya. Nasa bonanza area kami ngayon at nakaupo siya sa isa sa mga metallic benches na para sa mga estudyante.

"Hindi ako secretary ni Adren, okay?" bumaling sa akin si Gio habang nakakunot ang noo. "Hindi pa rin ba bumibigay? Ang bagal mo naman, Arri."

My lips grimaced at his statement.

I wanted to ask Gio if he was aware of Adren's true colors. I tried asking some people I know from his strand and everyone says he's quiet, kind and generous.

Bakit parang ako lang 'yata nakakita?

Umupo ako sa harap niya at pinagsalubong ang aking dalawang kamay. Nagmukha akong imbestigador sa aking ginawa.

"Say, did Adren ever told you something weird?"

He looks at me with disgust on his face.

"Kung dirty talk 'yan, please lang virgin pa ako."

Hinampas ko nga siya sa braso. "Seryoso kasi ako, may ginawa ba siya o sinabi na kakaiba para sa'yo?"

Gio's lips created a small pout before he looks up at my side. Nakaramdam ako ng presensya sa likuran ko. Halos tumayo ang mga balahibo ko sa likod ng aking leeg dahil sa biglaang may nagtaas ng aking buhok.

A hot voice caressed my ears. "Why don't you ask me instead, Arrisea?"

Napalingon ako rito at nakitang nakaupo na sa tabi ko si Adren, wearing another fake smile.

"Kaya nga, Arri. Nandiyan naman si Adren para sagutin ka." Gio uttered and went back to scribbling down notes on his notebook.

"Baka busy siya," I said, stealing glances at Adren who was also looking at me with the same amount of animosity as mine.

Pumalumbaba siya nang mapansin na hindi ko tinatanggal ang tingin ko sa kanya. I really wanted to know his true nature. Kung mabait ba talaga siya o talagang sinusunod niya lang ang tingin sa kanya ng tao.

"Gio, do you mind if I'll take Arrisea for a while?" tanong ni Adren kay Gio.

"Kahit huwag mo na ibalik," pagtataboy ni Gio. Seryoso kasi siyang nagbabasa ng notes para sa physical science 'yata.

I scoffed when I saw his handwritten notes. Medyo nahiya rin ako dahil hindi ako nagsusulat ng mga notes lalo na kung di naman required.

Ganito pala 'to mag-aral, parang sinasapian ng pagiging masungit.

My head turned towards Adren and frowned at his statement.

"Saan?" I asked Adren, he only gave a small smile.

"Just somewhere we could talk privately," he mumbled nonchalantly.

Hanimal na curiosity 'to.

Tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo at naglakad patungo sa isang direksyon. I followed him and we stopped into a small staircase. It was at the most hidden area of the school, sa isang college building pa ito.

"Mauuna ba ako umakyat?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He lead me to a secluded area where a small staircase was located. Ito ay paakyat at mukhang rooftop ang pupuntahan namin. Kumunot ang noo ko dahil paano niya kaya ito nalaman?

He shrugged. "I'll go first."

To my surprise, my lips parted and I looked towards him.

"Bakit?"

He leans towards me and whispered into my ears, nakikiliti ako sa boses niya.

"The stairs are steep, the person below will see what's underneath your skirt."

He moved backwards and I looked down on my skirt. Totoo nga naman ang sinabi niya. My skirt was too short and there was a possibility...

Naramdaman ko na nagiinit ang pisngi ko. Kung mauuna nga ako, maaaring makita niya ang shorts na suot ko.

Nauna na siya umakyat at sumunod ako. It was a roof top with a vast space, there was nothing but white tiles on the floor. Ang malamig na hangin lang ang kasama namin ngayon.

Umihip ang hangin kaya naman pumikit ako para maiwasan ang mapuwing.

I roamed my eyes around and can't help but admire this rooftop. Hindi siya gaanong malinis dahil halatang walang masyadong tao ang pumupunta rito.

I looked down and saw some students walking. Kitang-kita ang aerial view ng UJD sa parteng ito. For some reason, it made my skin crawl because I remembered Adren knowing this place...

Para palang nagmamatyag siya sa bawat kilos ng nga tao.

I looked at Adren as the wind once again made me feel its breeze.

Buti na lang at hindi ma-araw dahil ayoko naman maging daing bigla.

"Sinasabi ko lang sa'yo kung balak mo akong hulugin, mauuna ka saakin." Banta ko sa kanya.

"That's not how you commit murder, Arri. Obviously, if I do that — no one can be convicted except for me." He answered making me widened my eyes. Sineryoso naman niya?

"Pero sa klase ng justice system natin at sa pera na meron ako," he faked a smile. "Malay mo biglang may lumutang na tao bigla at maging tatlo tayo rito."

"Pwede ba huwag ka ngiti nang ngiti? Nakakairita na palagi kang nakangiti tapos peke naman. Ano ka? Mascot? Dapat palaging masaya?" iritadong komento ko sa kanya at humalukipkip.

"Why are you curious about me, Arrisea? Is this genuine attraction or you just want to dig dirt on me?"

"Naked truth?"

His forehead creased. "Naked truth?"

"Hubad na katotohanan," I shrugged. "Wala lang, crush lang kita. Gusto ko lang malaman bakit ang plastik ng crush ko."

Hindi ko ugali ang manira ng tao. I have my own life to think of, bakit pa ako magsasayang ng oras para lang umatake ng buhay ng iba? Mga wala lang sigurong magawa sa buhay ang gano'n.

Lumingon siya sa akin at binigyan na naman ako ng ngiti. Dark eyes, fair white skin and hair as black as onyx. His features were like sculpted to perfection. He really looks like a fallen angel.

Yumupi ang ilang linya sa aking noo. The sudden realization made my face squinched.

Kaya ba ka-ugali niya si Lucifer?

"Do you honestly think people would believe you if you tell them?" he leans towards the railings, a wicked smile on his face.

"A girl, from TVL, saying that the Reverio heir is what? Someone who doesn't accept gifts from common people?" malamig na usal niya.

Totoo nga naman. He was rich and probably had connections that I couldn't offer. As much as I hate the strand discrimination, idagdag pa na galing siya sa mas tinitingalang strand kumpara sa tingin nila sa strand ko. He was certainly going to be favored instead of me.

Pero wala nga akong balak isiwalat ito sa kanila. Adren has a reason for it and it's not my call to tell anyone about it.

"Well, di ko naman balak. At saka, nasa kanila na 'yon kung maniniwala sila," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Really..." tumango-tango siya pero para bang hindi siya naniniwala sa sinabi ko. He was wearing a scowl on his face.

Suminghap ako. "Kahit ganun 'yung ginawa mo, I still believe there's goodness in you."

Sabi ni Mama, bago ko raw husgahan ang isang tao palagi ko raw muna alamin ang kwento nila. Hindi naman daw kasi maaaring malaman kung sino siya sa unang tingin pa lang. Palaging may rason sa bawat aksyon ng isang tao.

"Kaya hanggang di pa kita kilala nang lubusan, hindi kita huhusgahan." I told him, tinitingnan siya sa kanyang mga mata.

I saw how his eyes mocked me.

He looked at me like I was spouting fairytales in front of a thesis defense. Gano'n ang level ng kanyang tingin. Minamaliit niya ang sinasabi ko sa kanya.

"Arrisea..." he chuckled. "Are you sure you're not already judging me?"

"May trust issues ka 'no? Hindi nga kasi di naman kita kilala pa nang lubusan..."

He looked at me, visibly amused.

"People will judge you for what they see, not for what they know." He says, lips slightly parted.

"Not me," umiling-iling. "Hindi ako hurado para husgahan ka. Lalong hindi ako bubblegum para maging judge. Hindi ako judger, in short."

He looks at me, bemused.

"Did you already know this place before we went here?" tanong niya na agad na nagpakunot ng noo ko.

"Hindi?"

"Our school prevents other students from knowing this place. Hindi dahil sa delikado ang lugar na ito," he walked towards the railings, hinawakan niya ang mga kinakalawang na bakal. "It's just because it's the ugliest part of the school. Tinago nila ito sa lahat dahil hindi pa ito umaabot sa kalidad ng buong school. This place is the living proof that this school isn't as perfect as the school administrators paints it to be."

"Just like how a person would hide every ugly part about them," Adren casted me a glance. "Alam mo bang may sanction ang mga pupunta rito?"

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko.

"Bawiin mo 'yon! Bibingo na talaga ako sa good moral ko! Totoo ba?"

Shit naman! Palagi na nga akong late at napapaaway tapos madadagdagan na naman 'yung sanction ko sa prefect of disipline?!

"Don't worry, you're with me." He decided to wipe the hand that he used to touch the metal railings. "Every little stain comes clean when it comes to me."

Namataan ko ang isang pamilyar na explosion box sa pinakagilid ng lugar na ito. Agad na nalaglag ang panga ko dahil hindi pala niya ito tinapon.

I did judge him.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko.

"Hindi mo tinapon?"

"I told you, I would have...." he clenched his jaw. "But for some reason, I can't because your angry expression keeps on bugging me."

He walked passed me, before telling me something.

"I know you find me interesting, but trust me — that interest would only lead you to get hurt." He said, coldly.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜