Kabanata 39

The thing about moving on, it is easy to assume that things would fall into places when you accept that everything happens for a reason. You hurt, for a reason. You suffer, for a reason. You move forward, for a reason.

I don't even know what reason I should believe in. Bakit nga ba ako nasasaktan nang ganito? If things really do happen for a reason, for what reason should I feel so empty and low right now?

I didn't hesitate to pay them a visit. Kababalik ko pa lamang pero nanaig ang kagustuhan ko na makita sila.

I used the keycard to his office. Nakatulala si Paulene, she look quiet dazed. Parang malalim ang iniisip. On the other part, Etienne was on his chair while typing whatever code in his computer.

My brows furrowed. Is that even a computer? Ang laki ng monitor niya e. It can already be a flat screen TV.

"Arrisea!" Paulene exclaimed excitedly. Medyo umaliwas ang mukha niya nang makita niya ako.

Lumapit ako sa kanya para bigyan siya ng isang yakap. She return the hug earnestly. Sobrang higpit pa nga ng kanyang yakap, para bang ayaw niya akong pakawalan. I let out a chuckle when we decided to let go of each other.

"It's been what? A year?"

Tumango naman ako kay Paulene at sinagot ang kanyang tanong.

"Yeah, the province was great."

Pampanga was great. Nanirahan ako roon para iwan ang mga isyu na kumakalat sa akin sa Maynila. I had to step down from the spotlight since speculations from the press can ruin Adren's reputation and also I really wanted to unwind from everything.

I wanted to regained my strength back.

Umupo ako sa visitor's area ng office niya. Etienne was too busy to notice me or he already probably know I'm here but he couldn't careless. Katulad ni Paulene, mukhang may malalim din siyang problema.

Mukhang kailangan din nilang pumunta sa probinsya para magkaroon ng oras ng pagmumuni-muni.

I decided to pick a magazine to entertain myself. Hihintayin ko na lang na sila na mismo ang magsalita. Paulene was continously cleaning Etienne's table. It was rare for her to do that since she's not in charge of utility.

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa magazine na binabasa ko. This feels like deja vú, I kind of did this before too.

Etienne stopped typing on his computer. Umangat ang tingin niya saakin habang pilit kong kinukuha ang atensyon niya. I pursed my lips and decided not to talk, patuloy lang ako sa pagtingin sa magazine na binabasa ko ngayon.

"Solstice gave up the company?" paguulit ko sa nabasa ko sa front page.

Nanglaki ang mga mata ko nang mabasa ang headline. Reverio Heiress got decrowned?

I mean, Adren is the rightful heir. Pero ayon sa mga kwento ni Paulene at ilang iniwan na pahayag ni Etienne kay Solstice, she's very persistent when it comes to the company. Buong buhay niya 'yata ay doon lang umikot ang mundo niya.

"Uh huh, Adren's the only one handling it. Wala na siyang kaagaw..." Etienne looks uneasy.

Tumikhim si Paulene at bahagyang tumaas-baba ang mga kilay. She knows something because she looked at Etienne teasingly.

"Ayieee! May umaasa na," Paulene chortled. "Go Boss!"

Etienne immediately glared at her. Pero wala itong masabi. Baka nga totoo, umaasa nga ito kay Solstice.

"Gio is coming back this year, right? He's inviting us to get some drinks," I informed Etienne, remembering the text Gio sent me a day ago.

I'm not sure what happened with his mind that he suddenly wants to go back. I heard he is doing well overseas, so the sudden announcement is actually quite surprising.

"Ayiee, may umaasa nga." Humalakhak si Etienne. He slouched on his chair, wearing a teasing smile.

"Umaasa? Ako? Ikaw lang 'yon." I laughed too. "I mean, Tita Ellise..."

"Don't mind my Mom, she probably knows the truth already. Ayaw niya lang bitawan ang pantasya niya na magkakaroon siya ng apo."

"Well, bakit kasi hindi mo pagbigyan?" I playfully wiggled my eyebrows. Umangat ang tingin ni Etienne sabay pakita ng kanyang dirty finger saakin.

He shifted the topic, probably because talking about babies bothers him.

"I heard Tatiana is still serving her sentence," Etienne trailed off.

Tumango naman ako. That's right, her name still haunts me. Pakiramdam ko ay nagkulang din ako pagdating sa kan'ya. Kahit gusto ko sana siyang patawarin ay hindi ko pa mahanap ito sa aking puso. Her own selfish desire made me lost my own flesh and blood. Hinahanap ko pa ang tamang panahon para mapatawad siya.

"Dayanara Reverio is also on fire in the press since she has been endorsing Tatiana from the start. Ngayon naman ay todo takwil na siya rito."

Natigilan ako at tumingin kay Etienne. "Well, ano na nangyari?"

"I think Sol have something to do with it, she's desperate to get the company..."

"Iba talaga si Sol, ano?" I teased him, putting down the magazine.

Umiling-iling naman si Etienne saakin at nilipat ang tingin sa iba. Si Paulene naman ay mukhang natuod sa kanyang pwesto. Kanina pa siya tulala kaya di na nakakapagtaka.

"Right." Tumango-tango si Etienne, trying to look like he was convince.

"I'm planning on quiting the whole cooking show entirely. Nakapagpaalam na rin ako sa Manager ko." I decided to tell them my decision.

It's a huge opportunity but the trauma is still there. Every time I see the stairs, halos manghina ang buong sistema ko. I couldn't erase the idea that something might happen again. I also went through some counseling but it takes time to drown the thoughts out.

"Well, if that what makes you happy..."

I only gave a smile.

"I'm also planning on building my own restaurant! Ayoko na umasa kay Mama at sa business niya. I want my own."

One of the reasons why I went back to Manila was to check the process of my business. So far, we're already planning on building the first branch in Quezon City. Arya helped me while I was still coping with almost everything. Siya mismo ang umasikaso ng mga permit para sa business.

After catching up with them. I decided to leave because I still have to go somewhere.

Habang nasa biyahe, I was constantly thinking if only I didn't barge into his life — will things end up like this? Kung hindi ko lang pinagpilitan ang ideya na mabuti ang pag-ibig, wouldn't I be this devastated?

The truth was, love was good but the people who loves are not always good. We are all flawed, but in those times we let love invade our life we learn to accept the bad sides of the people we love. That what makes love good.

I stopped the engine when I reached the parking lot. Tiningnan ko pa ulit ang paligid bago bumaba ng kotse. The same breeze of wind immediately welcome me to where it all started. I could hear my heart throbbing against my chest as I walk towards the college building. It was the weekend but I was able to enter the school because I had connections with the school administration.

Sa gitna ng pagakyat ko sa makipot na hagdanan ay may pumigil saakin.

"Ma'am!" A utility staff greeted me. "Nandito ka po pala ulit."

I must be familiar to those who work here during the weekends. I use to visit the rooftop whenever I had the chance before. Pakiramdam ko noon, napapawi ang lungkot at problema ko kapag nasa rooftop ako.

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "Yes, I'm just checking the rooftop..."

Rooftop. Our place. Our haven.

Bahagyang tumawa ang utility staff. Batid ang pagod sa mga mata pero nagagawa niya pang makipagbiruan saakin.

Sinandal niya ang kanyang mga kamay sa kanyang cleaning trolley.

"Nabalitaan niyo rin po pala? Balak nga pong i-renovate ang lugar na 'yan."

"Renovate?"

"Gagawin pong kainan. Para naman po may pakinabang daw po."

I nodded as my eyes went towards the door of the rooftop. The idea was good. I wished they would push the idea of boho interior design, kung sakaling itutuloy nila ang plano para sa rooftop.

"That's good..." I forced myself to lift the corners of my lip.

Tuluyan na nga 'yatang binubura ang mga alaala namin.

The utility staff gathered his cleaning trolley before giving out a grin.

"Sige, Ma'am. Maglilinis pa po ako e. Ingat po kayo palagi!"

I curtly smiled. "Thank you. Kayo rin po."

Nagpaalam na saakin 'yung utility staff at hinatak ang hawak niyang cleaning trolley. My eyes darted at the door for the rooftop again. Bumuntong hininga muna ako bago tuluyang umakyat.

I opened the door and the wind immediately came in. The rooftop was miraculously clean as I walk inside the area. No dust or any particles that could make it look dirty. Siguro nga hinahanda nila ito para sa renovation.

I looked up in the sky and saw the sun, glaring it's heat and warmth in my skin. Madalas makulimlim lamang ang langit no'ng kami dalawa ni Adren ang nandito. It seems like things do change as time goes by.

Pumikit ako nang mariin. I remember the rooftop vividly. The aging concrete walls and the paint that is slowly losing its color used to be there but now it is already covered in pastel white paint. The metal fences that used to be rusty are also replace with brand new glass fences instead.

As I was letting myself be captivated with the nostalgia of how things used to be...

The door opened...

Unti-unting dumilat ang mga mata ko.

I looked over to the person who opened the door. The nostalgia coursed over me.

My eyes softened as I smile.

"Ang tagal mo naman..."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜