Kabanata 18

"Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo?"

Nasa kusina si Adren kasama si Mama habang nagaayos sila ng mga sangkap na gagamitin mamaya para sa salubong ng bagong taon.

"Grandpa said I could stay here if I wanted to." Adren was looking at me, feigning innocence.

Nakausap ko si Lolo Alfred, sa ibang bansa sila madalas pumupunta tuwing New Year. Nasa New York nga 'yata si Lolo Alfred ngayon kasama ang pamilya ni Adren. Hindi ko nakilala si Dayanara at Alfos Reverio sa gabing 'yon at wala na akong balak kilalanin sila. So far, hindi maganda ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa.

"Bakit ayaw mo sa New York?"

Hindi siya sumagot at nagpatuloy sa paglalagay ng graham sa isang malaking tupperware. Ewan ko bakit ito nagpaiwan dito sa Pilipinas. Sobra ba siyang makabayan?

Nagpunas ng kamay si Mama sa apron niya. "Arrisea! Samahan mo si Adren gumawa ng mango graham."

Maarte si Mama sa pagluluto kaya halos kumpleto siya sa mga kagamitan sa bahay pagdating dito. Wala nga lang kami nung mga mamahaling oven dahil baka magastos sa kuryente.

Tumango ako. "Sige, Ma."

Binuhos ko ang kondensada at all purposed cream sa isang bowl. Hinalo ko ito hanggang sa humalo ang kulay ng kondensada sa krema.

"Nandito ka rin hanggang bukas?"

He bobbed his head. "Yup."

Tumawa ako. "Para naman kitang tinatanan."

Naghiwa ako ng mangga habang si Adren naman ang naglagay nung krema de leche sa graham na inaayos niya kanina.

"May gusto ba kayong puntahan bukas?" tanong ni Adren nang lumapit ako sa kanya para i-abot ang mga mangga.

"Wala. Ayaw mo ba sa bahay?"

"No, I still didn't give any gifts to your family yet."

"Ilang araw na ang lumipas. Tapos na ang pasko, hindi rin naman humihingi ang mga kapatid ko o si Mama. Huwag mo na masyado alahanin 'yon."

Kumunot ang noo niya sa akin. "I insist. They're also..."

Bigla siyang natigilan at tumingin muna sa akin na para bang humihingi ng permisyo.

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "They're also your family."

Kahit si Solstice at Lolo Alfred pa lang ang nakikilala ko sa mga kamaganak niya, nararamdaman ko ang hidwaan sa kanilang pamilya.

"Ilalagay lang 'to sa fridge?" tanong ni Adren habang hawak ang tupperware ng mango graham.

Tumango ako at nagpatuloy sa paghihiwa ng mga sangkap ni Mama para sa iba pang putahe na lulutuin niya mamaya.

Archer was with Arya, he was stumbling while walking towards us. Inaalalayan naman siya ni Arya.

"Si Archer, baka may gustong puntahan?" Adren kept prying, even raising a brow at me.

"Palengke!" Humagikgik si Archer sabay palakpak. "Palengke na may aircon!"

Tumingin ako kay Arya kaya naman nagkibit balikat ito saakin. Ano ba 'tong mga tinuturo nila kay Archer?

"Mall, Ate. Lahat ng pamilihan ay palengke ang tawag niya."

"Let's go to MOA tomorrow? Although it might be crowded." Anyaya ni Adren.

"Ikaw bahala," sagot ko. "Saglit lang, aakyat lang ako sa kwarto namin."

Nang madaanan ko si Arya ay agad niya akong hinawakan sa braso para bumulong.

"Ate, 'di ba ang sugardaddy matanda na? Hindi mo naman sugardaddy si Kuya Adren 'di ba?"

May halong pangaakusa ang tono niya kaya kinurot ko siya sa kamay. Agad siyang napabitawan at ngumiwi.

"Di ko 'yan sugardaddy! Naku, ikaw talaga!"

I don't really like Adren spending money on me. Hindi rin naman kasi talagang maiwasan na isipin ng iba na pera lang ang habol ko sa kanya. Pero siya kasi itong pilit nang pilit. I do my best to be frugal though, para makita niyang di naman kailangan gumastos ng pera talaga.

Nang dumating na ang gabi ay agad kaming umakyat sa pangalawang palapag ng bahay namin para tingnan ang mga fireworks. We were counting down the remaining time before the clock strikes twelve.

The sky that look like a blank canvas was now full of colors thanks to the fireworks. Meron pang iba't ibang hugis at tunog ang mga ito.

Tuwang-tuwa si Archer habang buhat siya ni Mama. Arya was talking with someone on her phone and I was resting my head on Adren's shoulder as he was holding me on my waist.

"I love you, everyday." Tumingin ako sa kanya.

Adren looks at me as he licked his lower lip. His eyes were as black as onyx but I could see a lot of emotions from it unlike before. I smiled at him.

You've gone through a lot but you're finally capable of feeling emotions, Adren.

"I love you..too..."Adren kissed the top of my head, I could feel his lips quivering. "Everyday, Arrisea."

As I look at him, he was looking at me with vulnerability. His grip around my waist tightens.

He was scared.

Of what?

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Dapat nagdala na lang tayo ng medyas! Grabe naman sa patong ng price!" Reklamo ko habang nilalagyan ng medyas ang mga paa ni Archer.

"Tapos may bayad pa 'yung guardian! Parang mage-enjoy naman tayo sa loob niyan." Ginatungan pa ni Arya na kanina pa handang pumasok sa palaruan.

"Nagrereklamo sila pero tingnan mo mas excited pa pumasok kumpara kay Archer." Halakhak ni Mama.

Adren also chuckled while his arms were across his chest. Ito kasing si Archer ay nagyaya sa isang malaking palaruan sa loob ng mall.

Si Arya ang nagbantay kay Archer sa loob nung palaruan habang si Mama ay pinapunta ni Adren sa isang facial shop para hindi mabagot kakahintay sa dalawa.

"Saan tayo?" tanong ko kay Adren nang mapagtantuan na kaming dalawa na lang pala ang natira.

"Let's buy gifts for them?"

"Are you sure? Baka magalit pamilya mo kasi gumagastos ka ng hindi mo naman pera."

Ayoko talaga 'yon. Hindi naman kami lumaki sa luho kaya ayokong isipin ng iba na ginagatasan lang namin si Adren.

Adren let out a long sighed, it sounds like frustration was coming out of his breath.

Kinuha niya ang cellphone niya at pinakita sa akin ang isang message galing sa Lolo niya.

Grandpa:

Make sure to treat them well! I don't care if you maximized your cards, I need my grandchildren already. Lmao

I saw Adren's response to his Lolo.

Adren:

Don't use lmao if you don't know it.

We're also still kids.

Grandpa:
Fyi, lmao means laughing my awesomeness out. I do my research well, apo.

Tbh, I do not promote teenage pregnancy. I'm willing to wait.

Humalakhak ako. "Mahal na mahal ka niya, ano? Magka-vibes kayo?"

Umiling siya, wrinkling his nose."He didn't use to be like that. He's strict when it comes to others. I just did something...before.."

Ilang beses siyang kumurap bago nagpatuloy. "He's just scared to lose his heir. That's all, but if he loves me? I'm not quite sure."

"Bakit naman?"

"I lived with a patriarchal family, Arri." His face hardened as he mentioned the word 'family'.

"A family that only knows your worth if you're a male." he run his hands through his hair. "I wouldn't like to really call it a family."

Naalala ko bigla si Solstice, although her appearance is as cold as winter, nararamdaman ko ang nagaapoy niyang galit sa loob. I could hear the hatred in her words.

Nalungkot ako para sa kanila. Magkapatid sila pero para bang ginagawa silang magkaaway ng sarili nilang magulang.

"Galit ba sa'yo si Solstice?"

"I don't know..." he confessed.

"Hindi ba dapat nagmamahalan kayo? Magkapatid kayo, e."

"Love isn't allowed for us." Adren smiled at me, sadness was evident in it. "I do not believe in love simply because love didn't exist for us in the first place."

This was probably the reason why he didn't appreciate the things given to him because of love. He probably finds it ridiculous before.

"Kung walang pag-ibig, hindi kayo mabubuo." Pangangaral ko at bigla kong na-realize na parang iba pala. "Wait, parang mali. Hindi pala kayo mabubuhay sa mundo."

"Alfos choose Dayanara since he claimed he loved her..." sarkastikong sambit ni Adren. "But when she can't bare him with any male offsprings, the love was instantly gone. Is that the love you're trying to preach, Arri?"

"Hindi mo sila tinatawag na Papa at Mama? Daddy or Mommy?"

He tilted his head to face me. "Do they deserve it?"

"Magulang mo pa rin sila..."

I could see the hurt in his eyes as he spoke. "They never were my parents. They never made me feel like I was their son..."

Pakiramdam ko ay binabalatan ko ang mga sugat niyang naghihilom pa lang kaya naman minabuti ko na hawakan ang kamay niya.

"Sorry, huwag na lang natin pagusapan. Si Mama mahilig sa mga kitchenware, si Arya sa mga makeup at si Archer ay sa pagkain." I diverted our topic, hindi ko naman intensyon na masaktan siya.

He smiled at me. "Arri, please don't abandon me in the dark."

"Ha?"

"I hate dark places."

Nagtataka akong nagtaas ng kilay sa kanya. "May ilaw naman dito?"

"I never want to go back to that place." His breathing hitched. "I don't think someone can find me...but you did."

Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya.

"Through light and darkness, I'll be there for you."

Una kaming pumunta sa department store, we picked some kitchenware for Mama. Sunod naman ay mga make up ni Arya, we went to some pop up stores of her favorite brands. Tapos huling-huli kay Archer, maraming kung anu-anong stall ng pagkain doon kaya marami rin kaming nabili para sa kanya.

"Ikaw?" tanong ni Adren. "May gusto ka ba?"

Umiling ako. "Okay na 'yan, masaya na ako na nage-effort ka para sa pamilya ko."

He gave me a small smile. "Our family."

I can't explain the sensation inside my heart, all I know is it's really warm and calming.

"Wala pa akong regalo sa'yo." Bumuntong hininga ako. "Ano bang gusto mo?"

"You gave me a family, Arri." His eyes softens as interwined our fingers. "It's more than what I hope for."

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. I didn't how much he values this. Totoo nga talaga, sometimes even the smallest change can affect someone's life.

"I still want to give you something."

He grab something from his pocket. It was a small box that looks fancy. Ngumiwi naman ako sa kanya.

"Ang gastos mo talaga!"

He chuckled. "Arri, I always hated my surname."

He opened the box and a small ring that has 'Arrisea Reverio' engraved in it was revealed.

My lips parted as I look at him. He was looking at me with the same anticipation, the way he looks at me tells me he's been preparing for this.

"So, can you give me a reason not to hate it anymore?"

"We're still kids," pangaalaska ko sa kanya habang nilahad ang kamay ko. He gently slides the ring on my ring finger.

He laughs and said in an old man's tone mimicking his grandpa."Tbh, I do not promote teenage pregnancy. I'm willing to wait."

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜