Song: Never be the Same- Jessica Maulboy

First thing Monday morning, I hunt down Harley. Everyone in this school knows that he is the one to go to if you need something special, you know what I mean. Harley is badass that is all there is to it. He usually has his hair gelled up in the front and always has on his black leather jacket, not to mention tight fitting jeans. Most of the time he will even wear a layer of black eyeliner around his eyes. Everyone knows that he sells but it's like no one ever says anything. I'm surprised that he hasn't gotten got selling to students but then again who is going to tell. I just need something to take the edge off of everything that happened over the weekend. I need to focus on other things besides Derrick and now that nosey Mr. Harvey. I spot Harley surrounded by a group of his friends. His friends are just as badass as he is.

When I walk up to him everyone stops and stares at me, because girls like me don't hand out with guys like him or his friends.

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" He reaches towards me and plays with a strand of my hair. "What can I do for Daddy's little girl."

I hate when people call me that. I look up at him, then at his friends who are all laughing, then back at him. I am not laughing, actually I am a little annoyed with all of them. I get that I am not like them but they don't need to be making fun about it.

"I....I..." How do I tell him that I just need a little something? I have been to a few parties with friends and I have had a beer here and there but I have never had pure liquor or hell never have I done anything like this. However I have heard from others that some things take the edge off and that is what I need so why not.

He smirks, "What can I help you with, spit it out or get lost your wasting my time." He looks down at me and them steps back to ignore me. I watch him laugh again with his friends.

I quickly hand him a twenty. He closes my hand just as fast and looks down at me with a wicked smile. "Babe not out in the open, what do you want?"

"Whatever you have," I say softly, almost chocking on the last part.

He laughs again this time more sarcastically. I look up at his friends and they are shaking their heads like I got to be joking. "Is this a joke? You're Carter's baby sister. Your dad is a fucking lawyer..." He looks around swiftly searching the area. "Are you trying to set me up?"

I shake my head no. "Look I just need something...anything to take the edge off you know.

He looks around again. "If you are serious about this meet me in the boy's locker room in five."

Five minutes later, I find myself in the boy's locker room. I should be scared to be in here alone with him but for some reason I'm not. I don't see him like the way I saw Derrick.

"Here's the deal; I need to make sure you are clean." He looks around and then looks me up and down. I watch as he eyes cast over me and then meet back up into my eyes. I start to feel a little nauseous.

"Clean? What?" I shake my head in confusion. I have no idea what the heck he is talking about because I have never been in this situation before.

"That you are not wearing a wire. I can't get in trouble for this shit."

"OK whatever...I'm not wearing any wires." Besides if you're selling shit like this there is a fifty-fifty chance you might get busted.

"I don't know that." He scans me up and down again. "I would be glad to search you or you can strip, either way."

I contemplate on the two. So his hands all over my body or I can strip and he can see me with those deep dark brown eyes of his. I chose stripping. Why because I really don't want him touching me and I think I can manage him looking at me. So I start taking off my shirt, leaving on my bra of course. He looks down at my jeans. You got to be kidding me right. I take a deep breath and pull them down, kicking them to the side. So now he can see my matching black lacey thongs. Thank goodness I decided not to wear anything different.

He motions for me to turn around and I do to show him that I am not wearing a stupid ass wire. Dear lord just give me the shit. When I turn back around to look at him for approval he is really quite. I see it in his eyes; I know he sees the bruises. I never planned on anyone seeing them but I really need something. I feel my eyes form with tears and I force myself not to cry.

"So are you going to let me have something or not?" I try to act all tuff but my voice cracks.

He stares back at me and then looks down again. He doesn't say anything and a part of me feels that he might actually feel sorry for me. I so don't need this crap right now. "Sure I'll give you something but I don't think it's going to help whatever is going on."

"Just give me something dammit." I hand him the twenty again, this time with a little more urgency.

"Keep it...I'll let you have this one on me this time." I watch him as he digs in his jacket pocket and pulls out a small packet. "Open your mouth."

"What is it?" I ask because a part of me is scared to just put anything into my body.

"Does it really matter...you want something to take the edge off right. This will do it...open your mouth." He says more annoyed than demanding me to do it.

I close my eyes and open my mouth. He places something small on my tongue. I can't explain the taste of it, but it's bitter.

"Give it a good thirty minutes or so....you will be on cloud nine."

"Ok...thanks by the way." I tell him as I start putting my clothes back on.

When I'm fully dressed he reaches and touches my arm. "Hey are you sure that you're alright?"

I swallow and fight back the tears again from trying to come. "I'll be fine...again thanks." I quickly look away from him, casting my eyes to the floor.

"No problem but don't let your brother know about this. I don't need any shit from him."

"I'll keep it secret if you promise not to say anything to anyone about what you just saw."

We both nod in agreement. I leave him there and go to class by the time class is over, I feel all warm inside. I feel so calm and relax. My mind is thinking of only today, not all the other shit that happened over the weekend.

During lunch, I'm actually smiling and giggling. I have never felt like this before and I am enjoying every bit of it. Actually the last time I ever seemed happy was over two years ago, before Derrick.

"I want whatever it is you're on girl, damn I haven't seen you like this in like forever," says my friend Miranda. The other girls laugh along at the table.

"I'm just high on life." I tap her on the nose and giggle.

"Yeah...whatever," she says back to me and makes this really weird expression on her face. Miranda has been my friend since elementary and she knows that I would never do drugs but as she looks back at me she wonders what the heck I am doing.

Andrea laughs, "Yeah...someone put something in your drink girl."

"Oh my gosh you guys are such haters...I'm in a good mood, maybe I slept good last night for once." I laugh.

"Yeah...sure whatever don't tell us."

By the time I get home from school, I crash. My mom had to come wake me up to eat. "Are you not feeling well sweetheart, you never sleep in the afternoon?" She leans down, placing the back of her hand on my forehead. Then she kisses it as if that will make everything ok.

"Just a busy day mom, I'm just tired."

"Ok well come down and eat with us."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat something; come on now let's go," she says a little demanding in her motherly voice and I know if I don't get up she will never let up.

I huff and get myself up out of the bed. I sit at the table listening to them talk about their day. When dad ask me about mine I didn't hear him because I was zoned out so he asks again. "Coralie how was your day?"

"Fine...I guess...nothing much happened." I keep nodding off.

"Well you look drained; you're about to fall asleep at the table."

I jerk my head back up and look at him and then at the plate that sits in front of me barely even touched. "Sorry, I'm just really tired. May I be excused please?"

Carter stares at me and for some reason I feel like he knows something but he never says a word about it.