Song: Crazy- Gnarls Barkley (Daniela Andrade)

He sits there, not saying a single word. I don't know how long he is there but it seems forever. I'm sure it's been less than an hour. It's just that the whole time he is just sitting there with his arms around me, holding me to let me know that he will never just leave me.

I finally whisper to him. "Sarah told me I should try...I did...it didn't work."

"At least you tried." He looks up at me with a tender smile. "So what's that?" He gestures to the books in my arms that I am still holding.

"My past life." I hold them even closer to me because I am afraid that he might want to take them away from me as well. Everyone wants to know the truth, the whole truth. 

"I guess it means a lot to you...you're hands are so red from holding on too tight."

I glance down at my hands and my knuckles are white as can be. "It's all my thoughts, memories mostly all the bad stuff that happened."

"Maybe you should let it all go."

"How?" I look like him like he has lost his freaking mind. 

"Tear it up into tiny pieces...set the shit on fire...you know what happened already so why do you need to read about it over and over."

"You're right...let's do it." I get up and head downstairs. I walk past the living room and don't bother to stop when my parents ask if everything is alright. I open the back door and head to the fire pit. I add a few limbs then pour lighter fluid all over it, maybe way more than what was needed. I grab the lighter by the grill and light it to start the fire, flames soar into the night sky.

Both of my parents come out behind be at the same time. My Mom is talking loud, "What are you doing?"

I hear Zayden tell her not to stop me, "Don't stop her."

I hold the first journal above the flames. I close my eyes then drop it right into the flames. I watch as the pages turn crisp and black then vanishing into ashes. I take a deep breath...letting it all go just like that.

I pick up the second journal...the journal that holds all the details of Derrick raping me...the words baby girl written all over the inside cover that's all scratched out in deep red ink. I hate that name...I wish I could get it out of my head for good. I hold it into the torching heat but I can't seem to let go...fire touches the edges of the cover and it starts burning in my hand. The flames are so close to burning me but I hold on. I watch the pages burn, my every thought, every memory, every word that I had ever written about him.

Zayden's hand comes around and grabs mine, causing me to drop it all the way into the hot flames. I fall next to the fire pit watching my past go up in flames, turning to ashes. My emotions are far gone and the tears come so heavy. He kneels beside me and takes me into his arms and holds me close and starts rocking me back and forth to calm me. He tries so hard to sooth me.

"I got this." He holds his hand up to tell my parents and they stand back helpless...just watching me having a meltdown. I'm breaking and I feel like I am shattering into a million pieces.

He holds me for over an hour...maybe two. I don't know when Carter shows up but he sits outside with my parents. They watch as Zanden rocks me and sings into my ear. When I fall asleep, he carries me up to my room putting me to bed and covering me up.

When I wake up, I'm in my room. Oh yeah...Zayden carried me. I get up and head to the shower. I get dressed and go downstairs. Everyone is sitting at the table eating breakfast, including Zayden.

"What are you doing here?" I yawn, a little surprised to see him sitting at the table with the rest of the family.

"Your parents let me sleep in the den. They wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Oh!" I look around, thinking...trying to figure out what happened. Then I remember my journals. Oh My God...my journals. I walk to the back door and open it. I walk on out towards the fire pit. I look in and of course all that is there is left over ashes not one piece of evidence is left. All of it is gone. What the hell did I do?

I feel him standing next to me. "You ok?"

"My journals...they...are...gone." I never wanted to let them go. I wanted them back and I hear her in my head.

'You would have never done it. Be thankful for us helping you.'

'You will be fine, Coralie, it is time to move on.'

"Yes...they are. Remember you set them on fire."

I turn and look over at him. "I need to talk to Sarah."

"Ok."

"NOW! I need to talk to her now."

"Ok."

My parents let Zayden drive me to Sarah's office. I was super shocked about that but dad said he had stuff that had to be taken care of and mom had other plans. I should be at school today but I'm seeing Sarah instead. Zayden walks in with me.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asks.

"I did it...I tried to confess to that bitch and she...."

"She what?"

"She called me a liar, a whore...she said no one would ever believe me. She saw the pictures saying the whole town has and...and...and how I was nothing but an addict that liked to whore around town. She said no one would ever believe me...I snapped."

"Ok...Who snapped you, Cora or Willow?"

"Willow...I think. I don't know." I reach up and grab my head, pulling my hair tightly in my grasp. "She doesn't like when I talk about him. They both crowd my thoughts, they want to take over."

Zayden doesn't say anything.

"I'm crazy...aren't I ...am I a liar...did I make all this shit up...I'm a slut that just wants to get high...a whore that she says that I am?"

Sarah stands up and come over to me to hold me in her arms. "No...she was upset...give her time to let everything sink in."

"But...Oh...and I burned the journals...I destroyed them...they are completely gone."

"Why did you do that?"

I looked at Zayden. "He told me that I need to let go of the past...that I don't need to keep holding on to it."

"Oh!" she looks at Zayden then back to me. "And now...how do you feel?"

"I don't know...how am I supposed to feel...he let me but they did to. They helped me burn them. The journals are gone, everything I ever written gone...all of it...now it's just something stored away in my head...somewhere. I want to let go I do but how?"

"Give it time Coralie."

"How much time? Until they take over for good and then I'm gone forever. Just like that." I snap my fingers. "I don't want to lose myself."

"Coralie, you are in control of your body and your own thoughts. You are in control."

"I wasn't last night...how do I make them go away...please make them go away."

'Why...I thought you loved me.'

'I'm not leaving...you can't make me.'

'You think more pills are going to work?'

'You think you can get rid of us that easily?'

'Shut up...both of you...shut up.'

'We are not going anywhere?'

I grab my head and yell, "Get out...just shut the hell up and let me be."

Sarah is watching me...Zayden is watching me. I can only imagine what I must look like as they sit there and stare at me like a literally just lost my mind.

"I don't want to leave." Cora says out loud.

"You have no right to make us...you created us." Willow lashes out.

I start laughing...I should say Cora starts laughing wickedly. "You stupid little girl...you can't get rid of us...no one can."

I know this looks awkward. I can only imagine what they both see. The crazy girl talking to herself in three different voices. A girl arguing with herself. Crazy right...I'm losing it. I'm officially going crazy.