Song: Hard to say goodbye-Ekali and Illenium featuring-Chole Angelides

The week flies by. Some days are good; mostly I'm just barely getting by. I feel like she is all around me, even though she is gone for good. Some days all I want to do is cry and it's nice when he is there to hug me to let me know that he is there for me. I like that he just lets me cry into his chest, never saying a word. He just lets me get it all out.

I'm glad that I am surrounded by the people here. If I was at home and around the people at school, I would be doing the only thing I know, popping pills, sniffing shit to make all the pain go away. Everyone here hurts just as much as I do because all of us were a part of her. It's nice to be able to talk about her and miss her as a group rather than be all alone.

I knew the day was getting closer but I kept denying that we will be separated, but its happening. I knew the moment that I sat down that he wanted to tell me something by the way he kept trying to avoid making eye contact with me. There was so much tension in the air that made me feel uneasy. I was about to say something when he quickly bursts out. "I'm going home tomorrow," Zayden says with sadness to his voice.

Suddenly I'm not hungry. I know it's a good thing to get out of here but still. I know he needs to go home...hell I need to go home. I'm staring at my tray of food for a little too long and his hand reaches out for mine. He doesn't say anything and I know he is waiting on me to look up at him. I'm not sure I can handle looking into his eyes at the moment.

"Hey it's going to be ok. I'll wait for you on the outside."

My voice cracks, "I know." I try to tell myself that everything will be but deep down I don't believe it. 

He reaches over and places his hand under my chin to get me to look up at him. The simple touch forces shivers down my spine. "Don't be sad babe; you will be out before you know it."

I just don't know how to do it; how do I get by without him. He has been my go to person here, my rock. He has gotten me through so much. "What if I can't do this without you?"

His grip tightens on my hand and I love the way his hand fits with mine. "You are going to be fine."

My bottom lip starts to quiver, "Am I?"

He smirks, "Do you know how bad I want to kiss you right now?"

I let out a soft giggle but then it turn into a sniffle, "How bad?"

He laughs and looks around to room. Of course there are too many people in here that watch over us. One of the rules here...no making out...that includes kissing. Blah!

"You want to go for a walk after lunch?"

"I don't know...you planning on kissing me?" I try to smile back at him.

"Maybe." He grins ear to ear. That smile makes my heart go pitter-patter and I can't wait to get outside just to see if he would keep his word or not.

Of course Cora starts talking in my head and she has been dying for this moment alone with him. I have to keep repeating in my head that there is only me, Coralie. This is me. I am me.

After breakfast we have a little free time before having to be in a class. We go for a walk, yes there are nurses and other people watching everyone out there too but they can't watch everyone can they.

At first we are walking side by side and I so want to reach out and touch his hand. We are almost down by the river when somehow or another our hands just magically touch and before I know it we are holding hands. The simple touch brings a warm smile to my face. I let him pull and guide me all the way down t the bank. Once there he sits down and pulls on my hand to sit with him under the big oak tree.

It feels so nice out here by the river. It feels even better being by the river with Zayden. I watch as he picks through the dirt to find a few pebbles to throw in. I waited on him to start the conversation however he is being so freaking quite. "So are you going back home to live with your mom? " I finally ask him.

He throws one of the pebbles in. "For now...I think I'm going to find a job, save up some money...maybe get my own place."

"Really."

"Yeah...I'll be eighteen in a couple of weeks. I'm sure they don't want me staying there." He throws in another pebble. I hear it in his voice. I know he is ready to get out of here but he is scared of what will happen on the outside and quite frankly I am too.

"You sure you won't get out and find someone else...someone with fewer problems."

He sighs and looks over at me. "Coralie...I only want you. You know that right. I'll wait for you."

Are hands are intertwined with each other and he keeps playing with my fingers. He nudges me with his elbow because I'm looking down and lost in deep thoughts. I don't want to look up because I have tears in my eyes and I don't want him to see. I know he says that he will wait for me but a part of me knows that once he is out there, there are so many other possibilities that are way better than me.

"Hey...look at me."

"Why?" I let out a sniffle as my eyes form more tears.

"Coralie..." he takes his hand and holds my chin gently moving my head for me to look up at him. I hurriedly close my eyes. "Hey...look at me."

Opening my tear filled eyes, I see him staring back at me and he looks like he might cry along with me. "Don't be sad babe...I promise I will wait for you...I love you."

He leans into me and that is when it happens. His lips brush up against mine and they taste a little sweet from the cherry pie he had from lunch. He pulls away and smiles at me. His hand wipes away a stray tear that got away. My eyes refuse to leave his eyes and we sit there for I don't know how long before he reaches over and kisses me again, this time with more passion and my hand lets go of his. Suddenly my hand is playing with his hair and his hands are in my hair and I want to pull him closer to me. Before I realize it, I am sitting on his lap and we are kissing.

I'm not sure how far we would have gone but that didn't happen because we heard someone walking closer to us. The leaves were crunching and the snap of stepping on a twig startled us and I quickly got off of him before the nurse showed up beside us.

"You two need to be going inside now, class is about o start."

We both jump up at the same time and on the way back we walk behind her. I want to hold his hand but that is not going to happen. I look over and he is smiling ear to ear and all I am thinking about in this very moment is the taste of cherry pie from his warm lips.

The next day comes way to fast and I so don't want him to leave. We hang out together all morning until his mom comes to get him. I hand him my phone number that I wrote down on a piece of paper. "This should be my number. I would give you my address but my parents said that they sold the house. I have no idea where the new house is."

"Thanks. I will call you as soon as I can and if all else falls look me up ok. I should be on Facebook and I can add Snap chat or Insta or something. I won't be too far away from you, I promise."

I look up and see his mom standing in the doorway. She yells for him that it is time to leave. I slowly look up to him. "So this is goodbye," I whisper trying so hard to hold back the tears.

"No...ok maybe but you will be out in another week or so...I'll be waiting."

"Promise."

"Promise...now give me a hug." He pulls me intohim as we stand up. I don't want to forget this moment, the aroma of him, thesoftness of his body against mine. I close my eyes and breath him in. I hear his mom call his name again so I startto pull away but he pulls me in for a full blown major kiss and I know peopleare looking at us but at the moment we just don't give a shit