Song: Lovely-Billie Eilish

The next day I go to Harley asking for more. I want to feel that way every day for the rest of my life. It numbs me in areas that I want to forget ever happened. My parents had always taught me to never put things into your body and I know that I shouldn't. I know it is so wrong but it seems to be the only thing that is actually making me at least forget about him. Every time I close my eyes he is there and forget trying to just fall asleep on my own because the nightmares haunt the shit out of me.

His friends all stare me down as I walk into their circle. He just leans back against the brick wall and waits to see what I want. When I don't say anything he already knows that I am back for more.

"Back for more already." He winks and smiles at me. "See you in the locker room in a few minutes."

I go there to wait for him. This time it takes him longer to come but when he does he ask me to strip again. I should have known that was coming. Hell he has already seen the bruises once, what is one more time. 

"You know I'm not wearing a wire...do you plan on me doing this every time?" I shoot him a glare but at the same time I am taking off my shirt.

"Baby girl you know the drill," he smirks.

Something snaps in me. "Don't call me that!" I glare at him. A part of me wants to slap him just for calling me that. 

He holds his hands up. "Sorry I didn't mean anything by it." I really think he didn't mean to call me that so I push it aside. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just someone use to call me that and I never want to hear that again...like ever." I start taking off my jeans. I don't notice his phone in his hand until I hear the click from him taking a picture of me.

You got to be kidding me. I jump back and cover myself even if there really wasn't much to see since I had on my underwear and bra. "What the hell?"

"Insurance babe." He winks at me again and a part of me wants to smack that smirk off of his face.

"What?" 

"In case you decide to talk...I have this to show off. You don't want the whole school to know what you're doing." He takes another picture. "Hate for your brother to find out what his little sister is doing. See if you say anything to anyone who your supplier is then I will forward te pictures to others. It's just a safety net for me."

I get really defensive. "This has nothing to do with Carter...if you show anyone those pictures I will kill you and believe me I won't hesitate to do it." I'm sure I can manage taking his life just as easily as she took Derrick's .

"Ouch...little Alexander is a badass. Look I won't show anyone...for my eyes only." He laughs again. He laughs it off but I know that he is not joking around. This is part of his business, his life and if he is going down then so am I. So of course I never plan on telling a soul where I get anything from. 

I ignore the fact that he just called me by my last name. A lot of people at school call Carter by his last name since he is on the baseball team but no one has ever called me by my last name. "Just give me what I want." I hold out my hand.

"I upped the price today," he sneers.

"I planned on paying you yesterday and you wouldn't take it; so how much?" I start to dig in my backpack for some more money. 

He looks down at his pants zipper.

"Well how much...I don't have all day here?" I really need to be getting off to class before the bell rings. I know if I am not the school will call my parents saying that I was tardy and I really don't need them on my case.

"You know what I want." He looks down again.

"If you think I'm doing that you're crazy." I have never done anything like that before and I'm not sure that I really even want to. The only one that has ever touched me was Derrick and I don't plan on anyone ever doing that again.

He pulls out the little packet, flashing it in my face. "If you want this you will."

I swallow hard. "Fine...I'll find someone else then." Hell it can't be that hard looking for someone else that has something. 

"Babe...I'm the only supplier in this damn school. Come on...it's not like I'm asking to fuck you."

How bad can it be right? I mean can't be anything like Derrick. It's not like I've never done that. It was one of his favorite things for me to do. Of course he had to tell me what to do the first few times because I was clueless, but now I know how. I mean it's gross and I really don't like doing it but at the moment I really need what he has.

"Fine...but not right here in the open." I look around and yes we are the only ones in here but I wasn't about to be doing that and someone walks in there.

He gestures to the back of the locker room. "There's a stall in the back."

"Fine come on then let's get this over with," I huff.

I walk to the back part of the locker room as I go by the mirror I see the girl looking back at me. She is not the Coralie I know. I have no clue who this girl is. I'm not sure if I like her or not but she looks mischievous and could care less what anyone thinks of her. She only wants one thing and that is what he holds in his hand. The little magic that makes everything seem better.

He follows me in the stall and I think it shocks the hell out of him that a girl like me would stoop this low to get a taste of Molly. I just need my mind and body to forget my life ever existed, at least the past two years anyway.

"First give me the stuff, and then I'll do whatever you want," I tell him.

He grins wickedly. "Open your mouth. I do but this time I watch him place the pill on my tongue. It looks like a sweet tart, except it's more bitter than sweet.

He unzips his pants and I get down on my knees. He tells me to look at him at one point and when I do he snaps another freaking picture. I know he will use it to blackmail my ass but honestly I just don't give a shit at the moment. When I'm done I stand up and glare at him.

"If you dare tell anyone...if you show anyone...I promise you I will murder your ass," I whisper in his ear.

"Don't worry...you don't say anything, I won't either...our little secret," he says with a wide shit eating grin on his face.

I open the stall door and walk out of the locker room, within no time I feel free. I could care less about any of my classes. I should be paying attention but I'm too busy doodling all over my notebook.

Miranda nudges me. "What has gotten into you lately?"

"Nothing why?" I smile at her. I reach over and run my hand through her hair. "God I love you."

Everyone around us stops and stares and she scoots back a little from me. "I love you too; you're like my best friend."

"Aweeee...I'm so glad we're friends," I giggle.

She gives me a very stern look. "Seriously Coralie what are you on?"

I laugh again, "My chair!"

She rolls her eyes and me and seems a little annoyed, "You know what I mean. You need to stop whatever you're doing. You can't afford to get in trouble."

"I'm fine...really." I look down and start doodling again. I glance up at her and she is still staring at me. So I change the subject, "Hey you wanna go to a party Friday night?"

"Where?"

"I don't have the address yet, but I heard some seniors talking about a party, let's go, could be fun."

"I'm not sure my parents will let me do that? Come on your parents are not going to let you go to a party with senior and with boys there."

I shrug and laugh. "Who says they need to know?"

"You can't lie to them; they will kill you if they found out." She looks around the room to see if anyone is listening to our conversation.

"Why you got to be so boring, party pooper, come on it will be fun," I beg her. 

"I'll think about it."

And I do a little dance in my seat. Hopefully that means a yes.