In all honesty I didn't think I would come back to this because I wasn't sure where I was going to go with it. I sort of just jumped straight into it because it was an idea. But recently I've been re-watching Skins and it only reminded me of how much I love Effy and Cook, so I thought about this story I started. I want to to something more with it. So I got writing again and I feel like I am sure about the sort of direction it is going in. I don't necessarily know how fast, or how slow, updates will be because I have a busy life. But I will try my best for sure.

Thanks to those who have read the first 2 chapters and left comments, I hope you can come back to this. 

Cook.

2 Days later.

'Idiot' I thought to myself. How could I have possibly allowed two whole days to pass without calling Effy? I have no idea why I didn't' do it yet, maybe it's still the shock of seeing her so suddenly. I don't know. Either way I felt like an idiot and she probably thought it too. It's not that I didn't want to call her, I'm dying to hear the sound of her voice again, but I knew that deep down I was paranoid that we would get close again and things would just end between us, again. I didn't want that. Leaving her behind after what I done to John Foster broke me, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Not to mention the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt when I looked at her, simply because I thought about Freddy.

Freddy.

What would he say to me if he were here right now? Probably something along the lines of 'Grow a pair of balls and pick up and phone and talk to her.' I smiled to myself, Freds was always the wise one in awkward situations, sometimes. I remember back when I would have too much to drink and fuck things up, or go off the rails, no matter how much of a nuisance I was he would always have my back. That's why he was my best friend. Each day that passes kills me a little more. I now begin to wonder exactly how Freddy would feel if Effy and I got "close" again. I immediately dismissed those thoughts. The chances of me getting romantically or sexually involved with Effy again were low, for all I knew she probably had a boyfriend now. And besides I had no business moving in on her, three years have passed and I can't imagine her having the same feelings for me as she did back in the day. She made her true feelings clear when she told me she loved Freddy and not me. I had no right to even think about the possibility of a romantic reunion with her. Freddy wouldn't like it, Effy most likely wouldn't want it, and I would screw everything up like always.

But there's no point in dwelling on that now. It's all in the past. The past is dead and buried. But yet I still shouldn't shake off the voice in the back of my mind telling me to grow some balls and call her. I look down to my hand to where the phone number in black was slightly faded now, but still visible, somehow I had managed to memorise it over the two days as it was practically the only thing I looked at when I was alone.

'Just do it Cook, what have you got to lose?' That voice told me again, and my frustrations grew. Clenching my fists, I got up out of bed as I glanced at the bedside clock. 12:15 P.M. I had no idea I even stayed in bed for that long. Serves me right for all the late nights. Where I was living wasn't anything special, actually it was horrible, but I make do. Of course I couldn't actually afford a place of my own for now. After the incident with Louie I was left with nothing, not that I actually had anything to begin with. Not a penny to my name. I'm sharing a small, two bedroom, minimal furnished flat with a mate of mine that happens to be a drug dealer. Because of that he isn't really around that much, which is a good thing because I enjoy the peace. His name is Marco, he's of Spanish descent I think. He's an alright guy, I want to punch him in the face most of the time because he's an annoying shit. But other than that we get along well and often I help him out with certain deals that puts cash in my pocket. I haven't left the drug dealing days behind me yet, even though I swore to myself that I wouldn't get involved with it again after all the crap with Louie. But after spending months on the run with literally nothing, what can a man do? I'm not proud of it at all, but I'm hoping I'll be able to get a proper job somewhere seeming as the police don't seem to be coming after me anymore. Things have died down in recent months.

I said goodbye to Marco as he left the flat just as I was leaving my bedroom. I didn't know where he was going exactly, presumably another deal. I opened the fridge hoping that there was something I could eat. I sighed. A half full carton of milk, the same one that was there last week, Marco's subway sandwich that I knew I wasn't allowed to touch, an apple and a few cans of beer. I really can't remember the last time I actually sat down and had a proper meal. I decided to grab the apple and a can of beer. Its funny how somebody's life can go from being superior to boring and underwhelming. That's how I would usually describe it nowadays.

After an extra few minutes of silent debate, I picked up my phone and dialled Effy's number. It was as if my heart rate increased as I waited for her on the other end

Effy.

"Bloody hell Naomi, are you even capable of cleaning up after yourself anymore?" I shouted angrily as I approached the kitchen sink. Unwashed dishes from last night's dinner stacked beside the sink. Typical. "I thought I asked you to wash these up before I went to bed?"

"Stop fucking shouting, I have a banging headache." She responds as she exits her bedroom with her head in her hands and a sulky expression in her face. I decided to say nothing about her excessive drinking last night, because she would always tell me the same thing over and over. Cancer. It was only a few months ago that Naomi was diagnosed with the terrible disease. My heart ached for her, I just wished that there was something, anything, that I could say or do that would make things better for her. As each day passed I could tell that Naomi was struggling more than the previous day. The most noticeable change in her is weight loss, her collar and rib bones poking out seemed to make her all the more fragile. Her naturally pale complexion seemed to get whiter every day, although I was pretty sure that it was impossible for someone's skin tone to change every day, but it seemed that way with Naomi. She hasn't yet received chemo, but I knew that when that day comes it'll mark the beginning of profound suffering on Naomi's part. I prayed every night that she would make it through whatever is to come.

"Headache or not, your still washing these. I can't do everything around here." I say firmly just as Naomi turns on the television.

She laughed. "I don't think I'll ever get over how domestic you became."

"Well one of us needed to grow up." I only realized how harsh my voice sounded until Naomi shot me a glare that was full of both anger and hurt. "Sorry. Just stressed, that's all."

"You're stressed?" She raised her eyebrows and sounded genuinely offended. "Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up every day wondering whether I'll actually be alive a few months... or even days from now? No you don't. So shut up about being stressed."

"I didn't mean it that way Naomi." I said quickly in an apologetic voice. I rushed beside her on the couch and attempted to pull her in for a hug, but she brushed me off. "I don't want to hear you talk like that, ever. You're a strong woman Naomi and you'll pull through this."

She sighed. "I don't know if the Doctors think that."

"Well you haven't gotten any chemotherapy yet. But when you do, you'll prove both yourself and the Doctors wrong. You're gonna get better and do all the things you wanted, I promise." I tried to keep my voice as reassuring as possible without breaking down. After all, I needed to be the strong one too in this situation.

"I really wish I could share your optimism Eff," Naomi forced a smile and she flicked through the channels. "But you know when you just get a gut feeling about something, like things won't turn out how they should? That's how I'm feeling."

Again like I always do, I wished there was something I could possibly say that could make her feel better. I had no clue what Naomi was going through right now and I wasn't going to pretend like I did, the least I could do was to remain positive and try to have some sort of understanding of her condition. "Naomi the only way you'll ever die is by drowning in your own negativity. I honestly never have seen anything like it."

"That's funny coming from you," She laughed giving me a playful smack on the arm. "You could die the same death if you weren't on meds right now."

"You are probably right." I agreed, briefly recalling the memories of when I went "mad" and lived a life full of despair and sadness. I have since moved on from that period in my life, but I would be lying if I said those feelings of darkness still weren't here. They still exist in the back of my mind. I also thought about Freddy and how much the reality of his non-existence kills me every day. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him. I pushed the image of his face aside and focused on Naomi again. "But my point is; you can't think this way. Not until you know for sure how truly bad your... um condition is. You can't make yourself depressed. Your alive right now and that's all that matters. Take each day that passes and make it one to remember."

"Oh I didn't know you turned into a psychologist as well Eff."

"Hardly a psychologist." I rolled my eyes. "Just trying to help you."

"I know, I know. I appreciate it, I honestly do." She pulls me in for a long hug. I immediately got the stench of vodka and weed from her hair and breathe, but it was best to keep quiet about that. Drinking heavily and smoking hash was something that occurred regularly with Naomi these days.

"So have you said anything to Emily yet?" The vital question that I just knew Naomi was avoiding.

She sighs heavily and a look of pure sadness appears in her eyes. "No I haven't, and she's not going to know, not yet. Not until I know for certain that... you know."

"But she's your girlfriend..." I spoke slowly and wearily. "She has every right to-"

"You think I don't that that already Effy? I feel fucking guilty every day that I haven't said anything to her. But honestly she's having a good time over in America right now, she's living her dream and I don't want to be the one to destroy her happiness. She won't know anything until I know more about this stupid Cancer."

I kept my lips sealed, knowing that whatever I say about Emily having a right to know that her girlfriend has cancer won't do much good. Naomi always gives me the same answer whenever I ask her about Emily. The tension between us changed and both of us knew that we were in desperate need for a subject change.

"I suppose I'll wash those dishes," Naomi muttered as she glanced over to the sink. "You did ask me after all."

I shook my head and gestured for her to sit back down. "Don't bother, I'll do them myself after I get dressed."

"Effy I don't mind doing it!"

"Naomi it's fine honestly. Just take some headache pills and relax." I laughed. "Fuck the dishes."

Naomi and I burst into laughter over my 'Fuck the dishes' comment. It's so rare these days that we share laughter like this with one another, I treasure those moments when they come. We are interrupted by the vibrating and ringing of my phone. I pulled it from my pocket and my heart lurched when I read "Unknown Number." Could it be...

"Who is it?" Naomi asked peering over my shoulder.

I shrugged. "Probably someone from work. I should go take this."

"Alright then, I'll start on the dishes."

"Naomi-"

"Oh shut up Eff and let me do something!"

I laughed all the way to my bedroom and shut the door firmly behind me. The sound of water splashing in the sink from the kitchen told me that Naomi is actually washing the dishes. My phone rang and rand and rang, honestly I contemplated ignoring it for a second but I knew I wasn't capable. I really hoped it was who I thought it was.

"Hello..." I answered. My voice was low and uncertain.

"Effy?" A familiar manly spoke responded. It was him. "That's you right?"

"Yes, Cook." I smiled to myself. "You took a while to call me huh?"

"Yeah I was... uh... just busy with a few things. I only got around to it now." Something in his voice told me he wasn't entirely telling the truth, but it didn't bother me. He called me now and that's all what mattered.

"It's fine," I say. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Bored. Nothing to do. In the need to a bit of action..." He trailed off and sounded somewhat embarrassed at his last comment.

"Well you know I can help you out with that boredom... you know like the old days? Remember what we done in Pandora's mums closet?" I kept my voice low, but seductive at the same time. Shit. What was I doing? I couldn't mess with his emotions like this.

Cook stayed silent, I didn't need to see his face to know that I caught him by surprise. I really don't know what came over me by saying that. It's not like I had any right to flirt with him, I broke his heart before and he most likely  didn't want me in that way anymore. It's stupid, I have no right. "Um... Eff I-"

"Sorry!" I exclaimed. "That was sort of... inappropriate. I'm just nervous I guess. It's been a long time."

"Nervous?" He sounded very amused. "What for? It's not like you."

Yeah, it's really not like me to be nervous around any man. Let alone speaking to one on the phone. Why is it so different now? "I suppose it has something to do with the fact I haven't seen or spoken to you in three years."

"Makes sense..." His voice was guilt ridden. "Effy I haven't actually apologised for-"

"Do you want to see me later?" The words came out before I even had a chance to stop myself.

"See you?" He sounded shocked. "As in meet up?"

"Yes," I responded in confidence. Ever since I saw Cook at that nightclub the other night I had an intense desire to see him again ever since. The old feelings of affection, familiarity and fondness all came flooding back when I saw him again. It's intriguing really how after three years of no contact whatsoever, that I felt those things. I don't know why. I've spent two days trying to figure it out, which left me confused. "You could come to my place if you want? I can give you my address."

I could tell he hesitated. I didn't know whether it was a good or bad thing. "Unless it's too weird for you, that's fine. We can go somewhere-"

"I'd like that." He says. "Go to your place I mean."

I couldn't hold back my smile. Oh god why am I really doing this. "Great."

I told him my address and gave him a few brief directions. It turns out that he knows the street I live in and passed through it while doing a few jobs. This made me wonder how many times Cook and I could have been in the same area but didn't see each other. He also avoided the question when I asked him what he meant by "jobs", that's something I should find out later. Cook and I engaged in brief and casual conversation before we both decided to say goodbye.

"Two O'clock yeah? You'll actually turn up?" I asked.

"You know I will Eff," He told me. "Wouldn't miss it for anything."

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks and I was glad he didn't see it. "We can have some drinks and a laugh... for old time's sake."

"Looking forward to it, I really am." He tells me and I could hear the excitement in his voice. It was the same voice he used whenever he spoke about something he done the night before and the same voice he used when he told me he was going to take me away from everything, the night I hit Katie Fucking Fitch over the head with a rock. I smiled.

"I guess I'll see you later Cook."

"Yeah, See you later Eff..." He sighed and I began to wonder if he changed his mind. "I really missed hearing the sound of your voice you know."

There it was again: That weird feeling inside of me that I couldn't quite explain. Usually comments like these don't do anything for me, but now it was different. I smiled and I told Cook goodbye again. I was the first to hang up.

The second I put my phone down I made my way downstairs and thought about Cook coming over to my house and catching up with him. Strangely enough there hasn't really been any awkwardness between us, I felt comfortable with him again.

"What's that smile for? Your never usually happy getting a call from work." Naomi grins as she poured herself out a bowl of cereal. I noticed the sink area was spotless and she had all the dishes stacked away.

"Oh, it wasn't from work actually."

"What was it then?" She asked her voice full of curiosity.

As I turned my back away from Naomi, a wry smile played on my lips. "Let's just say it's a surprise."