As the time went by I got surprisingly more nervous. I didn't plan on meeting up with Cook again, but when I spoke to him on the phone it just came naturally. Three years was a long time not to see or speak to someone you were so close to before. Three years is enough time to change someone. I know I have certainly changed, I might not be the Effy Stonem that people once knew from years back. And it was highly possible that Cook was a changed man too. For once I felt like I was at a loss over how I should act around him without fucking things up.

What if there was no part of the "old Effy" left that Cook once liked? What if re-connecting with him was a lost cause?

I tried not to allow myself to dwell on that side of things for much longer as I stepped inside the steaming shower. I immediately felt better as I allowed the warm water to relax my tense muscles. Cook's grinning face never once left my mind. It was weird because I have never thought about him this much three years ago compared to how much I am thinking about him these past forty-eight hours. I couldn't make sense of it, but I just couldn't ignore the overwhelming urge to see him again. Even if it was going to be the last time for another three years. I needed to see him.

"Effy have you fallen down the toilet or something? You've been in there for ages!" My thoughts drifted away by the sound of Naomi's voice and the banging of the door.

I snapped out of my daze and washed away the shampoo I had in my hair for the last few minutes. "Sorry I'm just finishing up now!"

"I need to pee so hurry up please." Naomi responded in an impatient voice followed by another loud bang on the door.

"Jesus Christ calm down! I'm going as fast as I can." I shouted back to her. I hadn't even washed my body yet.

"Well I'm going to burst and I'm not waiting for much longer." Next thing I know Naomi had swung the bathroom door open and rushed over to the toilet and pulled her shorts down. She smiled in relief.

"Fuck sake Naomi. Get out of here." I yelled. We didn't own a shower curtain so I had to cover my body. Naomi just laughed as she watched me struggle to conceal myself with both my hands and a bottle of shower gel.

"Just cos I'm a lesbian doesn't mean you need to shy away. I don't mind Eff, I've seen it all before." She casually tells me as she reached over for a new roll of toilet paper, knocking over a whole stack in the process. She didn't bother to pick them up. This girl really was a nightmare to live with sometimes.

"You don't just walk in on people when they are in the shower, though." I rolled my eyes at her. I turned around and washed away soap from my body, not caring that I was in full view of Naomi now.

I heard the toilet flush followed by silence. For a moment I think that Naomi has left the room until I heard her say, "Mmmm that's a great angle for my screensaver... stay like that Eff."

"Fuck off out of here you pervert." I turned around and threw a bottle of conditioner at her and she dodged without much effort, despite her cries of laughter. "I'm telling Emily about this."

"Relax I don't even have my phone with me." She says showing me her empty hands with a massive grin on her face. "I'm just fucking with you. It's fun."

I couldn't help but laugh as I switched off the shower. It was nice seeing Naomi being so playful like this, it's quite rare nowadays. Since finding out about the cancer it's like a part of her switched off. But every now and then I catch a glimpse of the usual Naomi and I love it. It was only when I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me that I noticed she was quite dressed up. She wore a pair of denim shorts with black fishnet tights underneath, a silky red camisole top and a brand new black leather jacket which she bought last week. She didn't see me gawking at her as she stood in front of the mirror applying some concealer on the bags under her eyes.

"Going somewhere?" I asked.

"Hmm... yeah I fancy a night out."

"Another one? You were only out last night." I sighed. I helped Naomi to bed last night when she stumbled in drunk at 3 in the morning smelling like a brewery. She was never really the one to go too hard on a night out before she got sick, but now it was becoming almost a daily occurrence of drinking and smoking joints. It was hard not to worry. "Do you not think you should... you know... tone it down a little?"

Naomi didn't look at me as she moved onto doing her eye make-up next. "I know what you're thinking Effy, you don't have to imply it. I'm just at a stage now where I want to live like there's no tomorrow, literally. For all we know I could drop dead in the morning."

"Naomi!"

"What? It's true! I'm only being realistic." Naomi set her make-up bag aside and pressed her hands onto the edges of the counter until her knuckles turned white. "I just want to go out. Get smashed. Have fun. Make a fool of myself dancing and shit then come home. I don't want to be all depressed about my health...I'll do anything for a distraction."

"Well... that much is understandable but you need to know the limit. I'm getting quite fed up of carrying you to bed every night." I half joked at the last part, Naomi just laughed. I knew that all this had something to do with being distracted from her illness. I had no right to tell her otherwise. I would probably be the same in her position. I wanted her to be okay more than anything else. But I wasn't sure that getting stupid drunk was the answer.

"You could come with me if you want to keep an eye on me that badly?" Naomi suggested as she turned around. She made a show of taking in an eyeful of my covered body and winked at me.

"I would, but I am hanging out with someone today remember?"

"Ah, right. A new lad! Forgot about that one."

"Who said anything about a new lad?" I nervously laughed. I suddenly felt awkward about the direction this conversation was going in.

"It's written all over your face. Is it that Dom guy who helped you out with work recently?"

"What? No... definitely not." I shook my head and laughed a little. Dom was a nice guy and I knew I owed him for helping me improve my performance in work but I didn't see him as any more than a friend. He knew that, despite all the hints he dropped about his feelings for me.

"Well you might want to put him in his place soon. He seems pretty hell bent on getting into your pants." She tells me.

"I already did but it's not easy. I like Dom... not in a romantic way but as a friend. It doesn't matter. It's not him anyway." I left the bathroom and started walking to my bedroom. Naomi trailed on behind me.

"So who is it then? Is he handsome? Do I know him?"

Oh yes you definitely know him.

"Uh... no you don't know him." I lied with a small smile. I wanted to keep the Cook thing as a surprise for Naomi. I knew they were close friends before so perhaps seeing him could bring her into a more uplifting mood.

"Well I hope you have a nice time anyway." Naomi sits at the edge of my bed and watched me as I pulled out a black v-neck dress from my wardrobe. "Fuck, you're going all out for this bloke. You must like him."

Her comment made me smile but it quickly disappeared when an image of Freddie with a disapproving look on his face appeared in my mind. It was almost enough to make me put the dress back and cry but I couldn't allow myself to reach that point. That grieving part was all over and I couldn't go back to it. Life must go on. I think Naomi sensed my sudden mood change because she came by my side and put her arm around my bare shoulder in a comforting way.

"Oh Effy, you should know by now that you really shouldn't deny yourself any happiness because a certain someone is gone. I know that he would want you to move on and to be happy. So it's about time that you let yourself do that." She spoke gently to me like I was a small child. But I still appreciated her support nonetheless.

"I know... I don't want to be that way but it's hard. I did love him."

"We all did sweetheart but we can't press a pause button on our lives, it must go on. We can't spend any time fearing about what's around the corner." She spoke somewhat sadly and I think that her illness was on her mind. "Just do whatever you please and give no fucks about the consequences. Life is supposed to be fun and exciting. Make it that way."

"Okay Nurse Campbell. Thanks for the ground breaking advice."

"Oh well fuck you too Eff. That is the last time I'm getting all wise on you." Naomi laughed before she pulled me in for a lengthy hug. "Whoever this guy is, he better treat you right."

"Hmmm I wouldn't let him treat me any other way." I responded.

After we broke apart Naomi left my room to finally give me some privacy. After I slipped the dress on I started to blow dry my hair as quickly as I could. That was when my phone vibrated signalling that I had received a text message. It was from Cook and I started to grin like an idiot. I had saved his number to my phone earlier after he called me.

Hey Effy hope your not havin any second thoughts cos I just left my flat and I'm on the way over. Hope that your already naked ;)

I gasped in surprise at the text before I burst out laughing. A few seconds later my phone vibrated again.

That last part was a joke by the way... see you soon

I quickly typed in a response telling him that I wasn't having any second thoughts and I was looking forward to seeing him. After I sent the message I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned. I was definitely nowhere near ready yet. I quickly put on a pair of high heeled boots and brushed my damp hair. Guess I'll just have to leave the rest to dry itself. I didn't bother with much make-up, I always preferred the natural look anyway. I wore a tiny bit of blush on my cheeks, a few layers of mascara and red lipstick. When I was satisfied with how I looked I went into the living to see that Naomi was grabbing her keys, just about to leave.

"Someone looks sexy." Naomi commented.

"Likewise," I smiled before I anxiously checked my phone again. "You heading out?"

"Desperate to get rid of me, are you?"

"No no, just asking."

Naomi grinned. "Well yeah I'm just about to leave anyway. Have fun with this lover boy of yours and be sure to tell me all about it when I get back."

"Be careful Naomi." I told her cautiously as I watched her move towards the front door. If anything I would much rather her have a night in just so I won't have to worry about her while I am with Cook.

Naomi made a raspberry noise as she turned the key in the door. "Aren't I always? See ya later loser."

I didn't get a chance to say goodbye back because Naomi was already out the door. I could almost hear her footsteps outside as she walked away. I shook my head as I threw myself onto the couch. I wondered why I was never upfront with Naomi often. Of course I didn't want to tell her how she should live, but nobody wants to stand back and watch a friend self-destruct. I didn't want to see Naomi go down that route. She had enough to be dealing with.

I wasn't sure how long had passed but I knew that Cook should have probably been here by now. It had been a full twenty minutes since he text me, nobody takes that long to walk from one place to another. To distract myself, I started to pace up and down but that only made me feel more anxious. I turned on the television but turned it off when the cringe worthy TV show Maury blasted.

I allowed myself to come to the conclusion too soon that Cook wasn't going to show up. I was just about retreat to my bedroom when there was a loud, confident knock on the door. I stayed frozen in the spot for a few brief seconds before I forced myself forward. The fluttering sensation in my chest felt strange, I didn't get this feeling often. When I opened the door all my previous feelings of anxiety had disappeared and were replaced with pure happiness and excitement.