I S L A

"Liar!" 

"What the hell is this?"

"Dad!"

So many voices, so much panic. I try to block it out, I try to focus on something that can make my heart stop beating so fast. My chest stings, I rub a hand over it, turning it in circles as I regain control of my circulation. 

"Calm down!" Jason roars. 

"Dad, she's playing you!" Jade cries. "She's playing you like a fucking violin."

"What just happened?" Jessie holds her head in her hands, her eyes wide with shock. "What the actual hell just happened?"

"Let me explain." Jason says.

"Explain then." Jamie whispers.

"I didn't believe it at first, either," he goes on to explain. "She was just a child when she turned up, I thought she was confused. Everyone thought she was confused. But then I saw her again, at the cemetery, and she had memories that can't be in any way explained."

"What memories?" Jade demands, staring at me. "Why don't you share these 'memories'"?

"They're memories between me and your Dad." I say. 

"We share the same birthday," Jamie says suddenly. "I remember. . . I wanted to have a joint party."

"That doesn't prove anything." Jade snorts. 

"You came back," Jamie whispers. "When I was twelve, I remember, you came back to the house," he looks at Jade. "You let her in."

"Because I felt sorry for the kid. And that was before I knew how deranged she was."

Jamie's eyes meet mine and it makes my heart melt. "You knew where all of our mother's stuff was."

"Heidi was my favorite film," I say, tears stream down my cheeks endlessly. "I watched it with the twins all the time. I never got the chance to watch it with you."

"Why are you doing this?" Jessie asks me quietly. 

I begin to shake my head as I cry. "I didn't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

"This is bullshit!" Jade exclaims. "She is not our mother. Our mother is dead. She died giving birth to Jamie. She is dead!"

"I died," I agree with her. "I did. And somehow, I came back. I was reborn, reincarnated."

"For what?" Jessie asks. "For us?"

I glance at Jason, whose eyes are as soaked as mine. "For all of you." I whisper. He manages to smile at me, it's gentle and warm; but it doesn't erase the terror inside my bones. "I always knew who I was," I tell them. "I always knew where I belonged. And no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't make my way back to you. I couldn't allow myself to bring that much pain into your lives, I couldn't bear to watch you tear apart over something that you might not ever believe. So, I made the decision to stay away. And so, I distanced myself, for eight years. Until, I saw Jason at the cemetery, and I couldn't keep away any longer."

Jade claps sarcastically. "That's a very lovely story. Touching, really."

"Shut up!" Jessie yells at her, her sad eyes turn to me. "I remember the day my father told me that my mother had died. I understood every word he said to me. I remember, because it was the day that I was also told that my baby brother was finally here. And I was so happy. I couldn't wait to hold him. And then. . . everything blew apart. In an instant, my world was torn from me, and from my sister. We had to accept that our mother was gone, no goodbye, no letter, nothing but memories that were inevitably forgotten," she walks towards me, searching my eyes seriously. "I dreamed of her, based on photographs. I would ask myself everyday if I was becoming like her, if I was looking more like her, if she'd be proud of me. I'd cry myself to sleep because other children had mothers and I didn't. So, I'm going to ask you one question, one question, and you're going to give me an honest answer. Because this is our lives that you're messing with. And I want you to take in account everything I've just said."

I nod. "Ask me."

She flicks between my eyes, her voice comes out in a tight growl. "Are you our mother?"

I answer back confidently. "Yes. I am."

She takes a deep breath and a small cry escapes from her lips. "H-how?"

"I don't know if it's magic or a miracle," I whisper. "But it's me, baby." I place my hand to her face, and she closes her eyes, taking in the touch. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you."

She snaps her eyes open. "Mum?"

I nod. "I've waited twenty years to hear that word."

She laughs out, diving her arms around my shoulders. I fall into her embrace, resting my face against her hair. "I can't believe it's you," she says. 

"Because it isn't!"

Jessie releases herself from me, wiping tears as she turns to face her angry sister. Jade is crying too, but not for the same reasons. 

"Stop this," Jade pleas to me. "Please."

"Do you remember the story I read to you?" I ask her. "About the mother fox that searches the forest endlessly for her lost cubs?"

Jade stares at Jason. "Did you tell her that?"

"No." He says.

"It was your favorite book," I say. "You'd always ask me about the ending, but you were too young to understand it."

Jade's mouth twitches, she crosses her arm again. "I'd ask why the mother fox gave up, I remember."

"She didn't give up," I say. "She remembered that there was no cubs to search for. She made herself believe there was something out there that she had to find, but it wasn't her cubs she was searching for. It was herself."

"So? She was crazy, like you. I can see why you relate to the book."

"I've been searching for a reason for so long," I tell her. "That I lost who I was. But my love for you, for all of you, made me find it again."

"Jade," Jessie calls. "I believe her."

"So do I." Jamie whispers.

I smile at him, my eyes becoming blurry from the vision of him. He is the spitting image of Jason at his age, and that just makes me love him even more. 

I stumble towards Jade, she refuses to look at me, but she senses the closeness and repels. "Do you believe in unexplained occurrences?"

"I study astronomy, what do you think?"

"The universe is just as magical as it is scientific."

Her eyes dart up. "No, there's always a reason. There's always an explanation."

"Not this time."

She shakes her head. "It's not possible."

I try to reach out to her, but she slaps my hand away angrily.

"You are not my mother," she snarls at me. "And even if you was, you're still a stranger."

I flinch backwards, hurt by her words. "Jade, please-"

"I'm not listening to another word of this," she says, she shakes her head, backing herself up towards the door. "She might have fooled all of you, but she isn't fooling me. Not now, not ever."

She turns around, charging herself through the entrance doors. 

"Jade!" I shout.

I go to run after her but suddenly a strong arm grounds me. "Let her go." Jason whispers. "She'll come back when she's calmed down."

"What if she never calms down?" I say nervously. 

"She will," he says. "Just give her time."

"Time." I say to myself, repeating it over and over. "Jason, I don't have time."

"What are you talking about?"

"I-"

"Well I don't know about you, but I could really do with a drink." Jessie says, interrupting my reply. 

Jason's eyes linger on mine, and I slowly withdraw them, pointing them towards my daughter who smiles at me.

"Yeah," I say, taking myself out of that situation. "A drink sounds perfect."