Dear friends,

I know why it hurts so bad now.
The truth is, I'm no one's favorite memory.
I'm not even really anybody's favorite anything.
I don't come first to anyone.
I'm nobody's priority.
I have God, and that's overwhelmingly amazing, but sometimes I just want a person on earth.
I have many friends, but they have their groups.
I have many great values, but the price is yet to be determined surely by anyone.
Selfish as it may seem, this is who I am.
A wrecked image of society in a teenage girl.
I just yearn for more out of people when they simply just don't wish to care for me so much as they might other people.
I have family, but I've fallen away.
Okay, so yeah, there's other people sick of me complaining.
But I'm trying so hard.
I'm not lazy. I don't wish for people to do things for me; no matter what you picked up from me there.
I'm not overdramatic; I can't think of one time I have allowed myself to be troubled in front of you.
So when you call me out on something I do once, it gets painful as I watch you do the same thing multiple times over.
But I have forgiven.
Where's my time to be forgiven?
Maybe I shouldn't expect it from you; you are only a human being.
But can I give you that excuse?
Yeah, you're trying hard too.
But are you thinking through any of it?
What is your motive?
Maybe if I had the guts to show this to the people it was meant for, they would be stunned.
Maybe that's all it would take.
Or maybe they would hate me, thinking I hated them back
The truth is; I love you. Attention is spent with your eyes on something you value while my attention yearns for you.
This is something I do for all of you who I write this for; I respect you. I love you.
I disagree with you and joke with you and tease you.
But all you've done is make jokes I'm not entirely sure you didn't mean.
I am loyal.
I have watched as you picked others before me and there I was when you weren't with them. I never thought of choosing another.
How could I when I'd come to love your personalities?
I am strong.
I have put past the days of your anger and anxiety and sadness directed at me.
I am kind.
I have complimented you and recognized you, even when you didn't know it.
I am wise.
I have provided you with my thoughts and my upmost compassion in your times of confession.
I am peaceful.
Why else would you assume I have yet to be troubled with anger?
I'm not saying my friends never strive for a proper relationship.
I'm just saying I feel a bit cheated.
But I could never put you behind me.
I love you all, and it has not dulled as I say this.
But I'm tired.
Not of you.
But sometimes your ideas pull me into exhaustion.
Don't take this the wrong way, okay?
I'm not asking you to try harder, okay?
I'm not asking you to change, okay?
I'm asking you to realize and help.

From,
Drew.