Black fog swaddled her mind, spasmodic noise filtering in and out of her ears. Her body floating, floating. She was incorporeal, disembodied.

Her eyes clenched tight as images flickered and flickered behind her lids. The world was dark. There was no light. Just shadows with swishing skirts and disfigured faces. Deep holes where eyes should be as tongueless mouths screamed blood curdling noises.

Red filled her vision and her veins. Ice cold fire. She was burning and freezing. Her body battling against itself. She was dying, she could feel the life force leaving her body. Water dripping along her skin as the gods washed her body in the ocean of life.

She was sinking, air trapped in her lungs as red melded into blue and blue, black. Her back thudding against the bed of the ocean.

Hands reached for her, swiping and stabbing at her skin. Sightless hands ripping her open, her life essence floating above her. A ribbon of red in the cold darkness that sheathed her sight.

They stole her breath, figures floating in black cloaks with calloused hands wrapped around her dainty neck. Her head thudded against the floor as they choked her. Her body twitching with the need to breathe, to fight against these faceless bodies.

Their voices screeched above her, a wailing sound as a claw swiped at her abdomen. Hands digging deep and ripping innards. They wore her intetines around their neck like a necklace. The twisted chain decorated with her organs.

Feet twisting above her as black bodies danced away with her life. They left her there, on the bed of the ocean. She could see nothing but black but she could feel.

The icy fire throbbed through her body, travelling inside every cell of her being. Each fragment that made her Jana freezing over. What was left of her was slowly dying, cells deteriorating one by one until she was nothing.

Nothing but a crumpled form smacking against rock as waves crashed above her head. She could hear it now, the whooshing of noise and then the thundering crash. Waves hitting water, rippling and rippling.

Her body became light, figureless. Until she too was like those faceless figures. Dark and lifeless and free. Her body floated to the top, twisting to the song of the ocean. The haunting cries of the sea creatures. The wailing.

Body twitching and shaking, the current pulled her along. Water slapping over her as she floated higher. Light was flashing through her lids, black blinded by the white light. It's burning splendour guiding her through the haunting depths of the ocean until she felt her body take form. Her fingers wriggled and then she felt air as they poked through the waves.

Water lapping over the digits, crashing and crashing. The ocean fighting against the light until light won out. Her head shot through the waves and then she saw. She saw white.

Her eyes shot open as she gasped for breath. The white material of the tent flickering as orange lamp light cast over her. She was burning. Burning. Burning. Then the ocean took her under.

---

When she finally came to, the natural morning light shone through the tent, blinding her with its brightness. Her hand braced across her face and then her body woke.

Mind screeching in pain as her abdomen protested against movement. Against air. She could feel the trapped air in her lungs. Air she refused to breathe because the pain was unbearable. Unfathomable. To not breath was better than to feel.

Salty water trickled into her mouth reminding her of the ocean. Blackness climbed around the fringes of her mind. Faces flickering in and out. Their words disjointed, deep noises.

Plastic slapping across her face and then she was forced to breathe. The pain returning with air.

She was confused, eyes flickering as she tried to remember where she was. How she got here. Who was she.

Jana. Jana. Jana..

"Jana, can you hear me." Her eyes flickered responsively and then she finally saw.

Dark thick brows were the first things she noticed, they reminded her of home. Of Khan and then she broke down.

Hiccups leaving her throat in large wheezes, her abdomen screaming for her to stop but she couldn't. She was sobbing and crying and gasping until little fingers rubbed at her eyes. Pale soft fingers soothing against her skin.

"It's okay nana," beautiful green eyes anchored her to them. Lured her in, comforted her. They were damp like moss after a long rain.

"I was scared" little face scrunched up, nose pink from her crying and sniffling. Her melodic voice quietening Jana's noise, she captivated her. Her little body snuggled along the bed as she stared in wonder. In love. Zosia. Her little Zosia.

Pulling at the plastic skin along her face she took her first breath of air without assistance. Peering into the angels eyes before her, she felt complete. That all the pain she suffered was worth it because the little angel before her was safe now.

"Hey Zo," she whispered, thumb stroking against pale blonde brows. Her long blonde lashes fluttered as she savoured the touch, absorbing the love. A happy sigh leaving her mouth as her eyes fell closed, finally sleeping peacefully.

Movement at the corner of the door had Jana's sight shifting, focussing on the male before her. Pale blonde dreadlocks scattered across his face, deep black under his eyes and white shirt stained red. His swollen eyes filled to the brim with tears as he staggered into the room.

Her name falling from his lips like a song, a chant.

"Jana" eyes full of wonder as he stared at her, emotion so raw, so real. He had her heart moving, beating, feeling.

Gods he had her.

"Simeon" her damp lashes shuttering closed as she leaned into his warm touch. His rough fingers gliding across her skin. Blood smearing across her wet skin.

"Oh gods, I thought I lost you." He was sniffling, his words reminding her of her dreams. She had been lost, floating about in an oceanic void. All the while he had been here, waiting and worrying.

Her head sunk into his shoulders, sniffing at him like some wild dog but his scent calmed her. The earthy musky tones that made up his scent made her feel safe. It made her feel like no matter where they wondered to, she would always have a home in him. It was scary.

She had gone from plotting his death to caring and needing him. To wanting him. Her emotions were out of control. She was loosing her grip on reality. Hyperventilating into his chest all the while he murmured comforts in her ears.

Some were decipherable but others were in that foreign tongue of his. Long winding sentences that hushed her pain, eased her tears. His words made her feel loved.

"Alpha, Jana Its good to see you finally awake."

"How- she stopped mid sentence as the doctor gave her a glass of water for her burning throat. Her hands shaking as she gulped it down in one go. "How long have I been out?"

"Three days. Your body has started to heal already."

Her bleary eyes staring at him as she tried to un-pick the tension surrounding him. He clenched his clip board in his pinkish hands. His thick brows shading over his dark eyes, eyes that refused to meet her own.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

Her head bobbed, "I- I remember Sonja. She was erratic and hurting Zosia and so I stabbed her." Moving slowly on the bed, she lent back against her pillows. Eyes closing as the scene took over.

"I got Zosia away but then I felt fire through my stomach. Did she- did she stab me?" Her eyes peered open as she questioned him. She was unsure, it all happened so fast and she couldn't see anything. She could only feel and hear.

"Yes she did, with her claw. It pierced through you completely. It's why you must be feeling abdominal pains." He murmured, making his way over to the bed on the side that Zosia was still sleeping on.

"Do you mind if I just give you a check up. See your blood work." She. Nodded her head but the doctor had already begun sampling her blood, to which he handed it to a woman that Jana hadn't even noticed was in the room. She exited just as quickly.

He pulled the blankets back quickly and began checking over her body, his hands pulling at her top.

A snicker left her lips at Simeon's growling, his body taught against hers. He watched every move the doctor made, growling even louder the closer he got to her bare abdomen.

The doctors hands were shaking, his head continuously flicking up so he could monitor Simeon's movement.

Heaving a sigh, Jana placed her hands on Simeon, clutching his hands in hers. She murmured calming words, their roles reversed as she soothed him with her gentle voice.

After peering at her abdomen and prodding at it lightly, he quickly began redressing her stomach with a fresh bandage."Mm yes, you are healing well but there are somethings- something's that you should know."

"Would you like Alpha Simeon to stay?" Thick brows rising across his face. He looked worried, sad even and she knew that whatever it was, she didn't want Simeon to find out this way.

He jumped to his feet, body hunching as his chest reverberated with a growl "Of course I will stay-"

"Tell me first please." She interjected.

"Jana? No." he looked so disappointed, so deeply hurt that she didn't want him around but she just couldn't.

"Please Simeon, I just need to hear whatever he has to say first." Nodding his head in reluctant agreement, he made his way over to the sleeping form of his daughter.

"Leave her she's alright." His Adam's apple bobbed as he stared at her, begging her without words to let him stay. To let him in. Sighing in defeat, he stomped out of the tent. The flap clapping with the force used.

"It's good to see you are feeling better, you had us worried for a moment there." The doctor smiled lightly, it didn't quite reach his eyes. He couldn't hide the anxiety he felt and Jana had no energy to pussy foot around the truth.

"Just cut to the chase Doctor."

"I guess you could tell I was stalling huh" he grimaced. An awkward laugh escaping his mouth as he came closer to the bed.

"I don't know how to say this Jana." He was stammering, his eyes flickering around the room. Anywhere but on her.

Her throat tightened and her nose burned with the threat of tears"Just Be frank."

"I, well. Her claw ripped through your womb. You have scar tissue along your wall lining and." Lids closing shut, and head shaking lightly.

His eyelids flickered back open, the dark orbs staring into hers, "The prognosis. Well it doesn't look good."

"What does that mean?" Her hands clutched her clenching heart, she could feel it ripping apart. Shredding into pieces, she understood his unspoken words but she needed to hear it. He needed to speak the words that would crush her.

"We don't believe you will be able to carry a child full term."

"What." The words so quiet it could barely be heard, her head sunk into her hands. Her body shaking as sobs wracked through her frame. It hurt, gods it hurt so bad. One of her hands slid down to her stomach, cradling the skin as if she had a child nestling inside of her. She would never carry a life. She would never feel that love.

He was saying something, explaining something about machines and strength but she couldn't hear him properly. Everything was just white noise and static. She felt like she was drowning. The ocean was claiming her, ripping her soul from her body and taking her under.

She couldn't, she didn't want to hear. No babies...

It hurt. It hurt so bad.

"You may heal in time, we have used your mates blood so we hope that it may help." He was rubbing her back, consoling her. Trying to ease the loss that he knew she was feeling.

"And maybe if we keep injecting you with his blood, it may help you heal in time."

Her hands dropped to the bed as her red blotchy face met his "But it hasn't yet, that's what your saying right."

A deep sigh escaping his lips "Yes, that's what I'm saying." His head nodding in defeat.

Wrenching away from him she threw herself down on the bed, jostling Zosia beside her and causing her abdomen to scream in pain. Dragging the blankets above her head, she blocked out the doctors noise. His ramblings. She didn't want to hear.

The blankets wrapped around her like a cocoon as she sobbed. Her hand in her mouth as she tried to quieten them. Teeth sinking into her hands, anything to stop the slow decaying death of her heart, her future.

"Jana." She refused to speak to him, couldn't bear to look into his eyes and see the happiness he would be feeling. No children. He would be glad.

"Just leave me alone." Her face was sore from crying and she could feel a cool liquid leaking from her stomach. There was a metallic tinge to it.

She had cried so hard she had ripped her stitches open but that pain was welcomed. Physical pain could be dealt with, she could block out the feeling. But mental pain. The pain that she was feeling. There was no cure to that, no drug. Nothing.

She would have to live with this, this emptiness. She couldn't.

"Please, talk to me." She could feel his fingers over the blankets, stroking at her head as he tried to soothe her but it only hurt more.

His words were muffled but she could hear him clearly, "The doctor won't say what's wrong."

What was wrong with her? "Nothing."
Nothing, nothing and everything. Everything was wrong.

The bed shifted beneath her and then she felt his thigh. The hard muscle right near her face as he stroked the pieces of her hair that peeked through.

"I'm here, moja miłośći." His rough hands gliding gently across her damp face as he slowly pulled back the covers.

Her face was blotchy and swollen, her eyes clenched tight as waterfalls of tears gushed down her face. Her hand was bleeding, trickles of blood blending in with her tears and snot. She was a mess, but she was his.

He whispered in her ears, fingers stroking against her face and when that didn't work, he lifted her into his arms. She struggled at first. Pushing at him, throwing words of venom at him but he didn't listen.

He brought her weak body into his strong embrace, his back leaning against the bed frame as he rocked.

He rocked her back and forth, soothing her cries all the while making promises. His face buried into her wild blonde hair. His Jana, she was his.

"I won't let you give up."