Flashback

"I, I forgive you for everything. We will start over. Please," I replied, only hoping he will agree this time. But somewhere I knew I was fighting an already lost battle. Standing behind me he didn't budge from his place but tossed the pen on the table he was passing me before. "You are making it difficult for me." He repeated with a sigh.

"Do you think it's easy for me?" I questioned taking the pen from the table and proceeded to sign all the places he showed me before. If I wasn't sitting on the dining chair I sure must have lost my balance. He wanted to sell this home and everything I had my share in before he proceeds for divorce.

"I told you that I wasn't in my senses. It's not like I was cheating on you." He said looking at the papers making sure that I haven't left any place.

I recalled how Amanda showed me her pictures with him and told me they were dating for four months but I chose to stay silent. I wanted to keep this matter off the topic until I can manage to make him stay.

"Thank you, Jane." He said collecting the papers.

Maybe after this, he will be able to see how much I love him. I thought looking at him.

When we got married I only gave him 100 grand as for my share. I never told him but that was my whole savings at that time. The rest of the four hundred grand was his. We had two cars and a house having four bedrooms. It was big and furnished with a small garden in the backyard and the beautiful lawn at the front. The prices of the estate have been doubled. But I knew it wasn't the time to remind him that I had my shares too.

It was the time to save this marriage at any cost and the last thing I wanted was to ensue one of his tempers right now.

"I don't need your thank you, Paul. I need you." I replied. Desperation was laced in my voice. But there was no reply.

"For how long, we have this place," I asked when he didn't respond to my request and seem to collect his bag before leaving.

"You have three days to pack." He replied and the words were not less than a blow.

"What about you then?" I asked with my eyes narrowed.

"Amanda is buying this house." He replied in a clipped tone.

Everything was losing the meaning or maybe making a very clear sense. Anger coursed through my veins. I wanted to shout and asked him from where that bar attendant gets all this money to afford a place like this but then my mothers' voice echoed while I looked at him heading out. Try to save this marriage at any cost. You can't fail this. No failure, Jane Anderson!

Shooting for the door I blocked his way out saying, "We need to talk,.... please"

Where is he going? To Amanda? It is night time, time to stay at home. Time to talk out the things that he has been avoiding.

But the thing he did next took me by surprise. He pulled me in his arms. And, after days, I felt safe. I felt belonged. "Relax, just relax, ok?" He whispered in my ear and I nodded against his chest sobbing even hard. I was ruining his shirt knowing he has this habit to leave the house looking perfect.

"I love you so much, Paul. I, I,...." My voice was breaking. I don't know how to stop the love of my life.

"I know," He whispered again.

"Then, don't leave please?" I whispered against his chest.

"She is having my child. I didn't mean it to happen. But what can I do now?" was his reply. I knew what he was referring to. All those times when I suggest he should accompany me to the doctor.

"We can offer child support," I suggested, more like pleaded and look into his blue eyes. He looked convinced. Maybe Because next, I felt his lips on mine. I was melted in his arms. Soon, it turned into a make-out session and we end up having sex on the couch nearby. It was happening. He was staying.

"Jane," He called and I looked in his eyes.

"I never loved you. I, I was excited knowing you always had a crush on me. Enthralled knowing you never dated. But, I think I rushed things in marrying you."

I was at a loss of words. He can't be saying this. We are married and not just any couple in college. Aren't we supposed to make it work?

My heart broke into a million pieces. He can't be this cruel. I always knew him. He was a kind and shy boy. He always respected everyone. He can't leave me like this. Not, after sharing such an intense moment with me.

"Where"? I tried to say but my throat was constricted. "Where do I lack?"

"You already know," He replied.

"No, I don't know." I spat in anger but I think it was a wrong move because he started rubbing his shoulder like he used to do when he is pissed.

"Well, it's because you are not woman enough." He said looking right into my eyes.

Flashback ends

He still looked so handsome. But now, I know a person better looking than him. And, far more of a jerk than him. He was apparently talking to someone right behind me but he was standing close. Our eyes locked for a second. He passed a smile that in my utter shock I didn't return. It is not every day that you would see your ex-husband after two years of your divorce. No, one teaches you how to act in such situations.

"Miss Monroe," I heard that baldy professor call me for my attention as he took a chair beside me on the table. I looked at him with my shoulders slumped. Though I wasn't looking at Paul, I could feel his gaze drilling holes at my back. My mother also came to join on the table making it difficult for me to ignore any proceedings from that Professor.

Everyone started chatting. This is when I felt a hand tugging my dress and I was beyond mortified. I shot a glance to that baldy just to see him grinning, "Excuse me," I said before leaving my chair and put an end to my misery. Taking the long strides I get to Mrs. Scott's guest room to get rid of this constant sting in my eyes. This is where all females were supposed to come for using the restroom. Everything felt like yesterday. His words were still too clear in my ears. Rubbing the tears off my cheek I went to the bathroom and broke into sobs.

"Oh God, I can't do this,.."

"You don't need to," I saw Paul standing in the doorframe. God, not him.

I tried to rub my tears away as I tried to get past him. The wrong move, I know. Because next my back hit the wall as he caught me and caged me between him and the wall.

"Leave," I tried to sound strong.

"I never knew that you can't get over me even after a year." I heard him say and lowered my gaze. It wasn't in me to look into his eyes.

"Paul, let me go," I said trying to getaway. But he was making it impossible for me when he came even closer. It was suffocating me. I imagined this moment a lot. But, not like this. Not in someone's bathroom. Not when he was still married. Or maybe I just don't want him anymore. He was always cheap.

"This is not something you said, last time." He replied amused, "You do remember our last time, Don't you?" He added while his hands wandered on my body.

"You"! I hissed in anger but my voice was stuck looking at his eyes. Those same blue eyes I always lived for. And this made me lose my words.

"You always look so hot in black. Are you here to seduce me? Because if you were, you are succeeded." He said in my ear making me feel his bulge on my stomach.

"Paul, please," I pleaded, afraid I would break in front of him. Because he would again say something and I will remember it for the rest of my life.

"What a waste of this beautiful body? I wish you were normal. I can bet you haven't let anyone touch you. I can see it on your face."

"Paul! Don't do this," I exactly knew what he was up to.

"Why? Do you want to go to that professor? You better not dare to get close to that pig again. I swear I will kill you." He threatened me and I started shaking badly. Why he was doing this to me?

"Haven't you caused enough damage already? Paul let me go," I asked.

"You don't get to talk about damage here, Do not forget that I was deceived and kept in dark. You made my life hell, Jane and I think it's a time for a little payback." He spat and twisted my wrist before sucking my lips.

I always hated Brussels sprouts and next he was cursing looking at his ruined clothes. I threw up my whole dinner at his suite.

"Omg, I am sorry," I said, but then seeing that I was free I got out of there.

I didn't tell anyone and call for a taxi. One thing was for sure. I was leaving this place in the morning. I just can't stay here. I will get to L.A and then leave after selling my apartment there.

The whole house was drowned in darkness and silence. I didn't bother to switch on the lights and headed for my room. But before I can call it a day something caught my attention. I heard someone sobbing and it didn't take me long to figure it was Evelyn. Getting into her room I get to her bathroom door that was already ajar.

"Hey, What's wro,..." I was frozen looking at her state. She was crying profusely. Her white skin was all red with crying so hard. But she got startled and was trying to hide her tears.

"Evelyn? What's wrong?" I repeated but she was shaking badly. My heart was pounding badly. If this girl didn't open her mouth in seconds I was going to faint. I could feel the bile rising up again but I held back. Before I could say something else I noticed the pregnancy test strip in her hand.

"You didn't," No, this is not happening. My mom will commit suicide. For God Sake, she is so young. She has her whole life ahead of her.

"Words, Evelyn," I shouted making her jump.

"I am so sorry. I thought he loved me. But I was just a dare." She broke into sobs and before she could fall I step ahead to catch her. I rubbed her back and made her sit on the floor.

"What will mom say, J?" She asked scared.

I didn't have any answer to this. But then I replied. "We can't tell mom about this?"

Silence prevailed. For a moment I didn't want to think about anything.

"You can come to L.A, with me. We will leave tomorrow and think about it more calmly." I suggested, after some minutes.

She hugged me sobbing. "Thank you, J". I nodded pressing my lips. I felt so out of energy looking at my baby sister who was too young to be any of this. I was lost in my thoughts when a squeal made me jump.

"I am not pregnant, J! It says negative. It's just one line." She looked excited and relieved.

"Or, maybe you should check again. These could be broken, You know." I suggested not knowing what else to say. I mean, I want to be happy for her but I want to be sure.

"Don't worry, this one was expansive. And besides, I did use protection. But my best friend was suggesting this too often after I vomited after my gym class a week ago." Evelyn answered too casually. Totally forgetting that I, her elder sister just came to knew about her act of adultery.

I was mentally preparing myself to give a long lecture to her when all the sudden changes of emotion made me want to throw up again. I rushed to the commode and emptied myself.

Cleaning me when I looked at her she passed me a pregnancy strip and said jokingly. "I have an extra." But couldn't maintain her serious face for long and end up laughing.

"Don't you dare to change the topic, I was,.." I was cut off the moment all of the memories of those certain grey eyes rushed to me and this made me stare at that pregnancy strip intently.

"No, Jane, no, I was just kidding. You don't need it, Right?" She said with panic but then next saw me accepting that strip.

"Fuck, Jane, You better not pregnant. Ok? I am going out but please count me out if you need me. And I don't need to listen to what was the result." She was freaking out.

"Out," I ordered in a stern voice.

It wasn't the first time that I was using a strip and I knew it was going to be negative. But this five-minute wait was so long. The moment alarm went off I looked to find two lines staring back.

How it's possible? It's broke. I can't be pregnant Or maybe I was. I looked at my stomach and touched it. Am I really,....

Turning the knob of the door I came out. I knew it was broke I got to do it again. But the moment I came out I heard impatient Evelyn say, "It was negative right?"

"The strip is broke." was my reply. But somewhere in my heart, I knew I was,....

I wanted to get away from her accusing eyes.

"You are pregnant?" She shouted.

"No, Evelyn, it's not true," I whisper shouted at her. I don't know but I was so scared.

"You are pregnant?" She whispered ask.

"I said, it's broke," I repeated myself.

"What will mamma say?" Evelyn asked but I didn't have an answer.

Not knowing what to say in my defense I started heading to my room.

"Don't worry, with you it's different. You can call the father here and we can meet him. He will love us." She wasn't stopping and chasing me to my room.

"There is no father," I replied while trying not to let her come into my room.

"Then, how there is a child?" She asked confused but instead of replying her I shut the door.

Leaning to the door frame I sank to the floor slowly. All of a sudden, I was too conscious about my movement. You are pregnant, Jane. You are no disappointment. You don't lack anything. Her inner voice echoed. She recalled how she was suffering from morning sickness all this time. Her brain was working again. It was true. She never missed her periods before.

But all of this felt like a dream. Like somebody will come and snatch all of her happiness. She blinked away tears of joy while trying hard to stop herself from sobbing. She didn't want to risk Evelyn listening to her sobs.

No, I won't let anyone steal away my happiness. Dear God, please help me. I need you the most.

After her night hygiene, she gets to her bed and made a mental note to see a gynecologist in the morning. She closed her eyes but somewhere in her subconscious, she ends up recalling him.

What if he is still chasing me or stalking me. What if he comes to know about this? But one day he had to. How on earth I was supposed to cut off my ties with a person who was going to be the father of my child. My mind was going crazy. But among all of these thoughts, I wished to have a little girl who looks exactly like me.

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Evelyn 

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I know you all want Alex, but once he comes he won't go away. So, relax a little. 

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I will try to update soon. 

The chapter for shattered is ready. It is just the end of the chapter that was a huge cliffhanger and I don't plan to kill my readers with suspense or curse Noah. Or maybe he is supposed to be curse. So, let's curse him in a day or two. 

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