Entry into the superhero "I Woke Up Super" contest
Deadline: Nov. 15, 2017
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Bzzzt!

Bzzttt!!

"Off," Joe moaned.

Bzzttt! Bzzttt!!

"Off!"

Bzzztt!

Joe sighed and sat up. His head felt like it was on fire. And the constant...

BZZZTTT!

Yeah, that noise...didn't help.

Joe leaned in close to the vibrating alarm clock. "I said...OFF!" He then dealt it a blow. His nearby microchip school books scattered to the floor as if some invisible shockwave hit. Joe gave a slight groan as he realized that he'd have to pick those up, but then smiled with victory when the alarm clock wheezed out its death rattle. Joe glared at the fallen microchips with hatred. His head continued to pound. "I'll get those later."

Joe flopped back into bed. The insta-covers quickly reappeared. Nice, soft, and warm—just how Joe liked them. Joe's eyes slowly closed.

"Walk," came a voice. Joe opened an eye. "Walk."

Joe sat back up, making the insta-covers vanish into the ether once more. He groaned in pain as he turned his head to survey his room. Why did his head hurt so much? Why did just about every muscle feel like he'd just ran a marathon to Jupiter? Which if he recalled correctly, his friend, Danny, was training to do.

Joe hadn't been out drinking. He was too young. And even if he could, he wouldn't. He didn't like the idea of being "out of control." He didn't go to a party. No one would invite him.

What had he done last night?

"Walk," came the voice again.

The sound reminded Joe of his "quest" and he continued to check his room. It was your normal teenage room, or so what Joe believe to be normal. He programmed his posters to cycle through his favorite images every 30 minutes, clothes littered the floor, and his game station was still on. About the only thing orderly was his collection of microchip comic books which resided in a small case on his desk.

Finally, Joe settled on the only other living thing in the room (unless you counted the pizza growing under his bed), his dog, Bandit. The white mutt mix sat semi-patiently by the door with his leash in his mouth.

"Not today Bandit. I've got a killer headache. Besides, I walked you yesterday."

And like a flood it came back. Joe walked Bandit yesterday. That was the last thing he remembered clearly. Bandit got away from him once the dog saw the neighbor's cat, Prince Diablo Nightshade (what an awful name for a show cat). By the time, Joe caught up to his four-legged friend, the playful pup was lapping up some kind of black gunk.

Joe noticed the wrecked semi-truck and dialed the police using his portable personal computer. He then tried to gather up his dog; but as Joe approached, Bandit turned on him with a quick bite to the arm. Joe stumbled back, both from the bite and the betrayal. Joe's arm throbbed and he became woozy. He staggered around like a drunk entering a New Year's party while the world grew darker and darker around him. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground.

Back in the present, Bandit sat the leash down and nudged it towards Joe. "How did I get back here?" Joe said.

"Walk," said the voice. Joe turned towards his dog. It seemed like the sound was coming from him. Joe leaned towards the dog.

"Walk the dog!" came a voice that made Joe launch into the air, a bit higher than he thought normal. "Don't forget to walk the dog before school!" It was his father. Joe let out a laugh. Right, like the dog could talk. "And don't forget to hand out those coupons for the restaurant at school."

***

It didn't take Joe long to catch up with his friends, Danny and Brain, on their hike to school.

"How'd you get here so fast?" asked Danny. He was still sweating from his morning workout. He needed to stay in shape if he wanted to pass the football tryouts.

Joe shrugged. "Ran."

Brain glanced at Joe's husky belly and lack of muscles. "Riiight..." he said.

Joe decided to tell his friends about the accident, the gunk, and the morning sores. "Thought Bandit was speaking for a moment."

"Dude!" said Danny. "You're a superhero!"

"What?!" Joe and Brain said.

"Totally. Forty percent of people who are involved in a lab accident or bitten by altered animals become superheroes. It's science fact. The other sixty percent die horrible, painful deaths. You haven't died, so you must be a superhero."

Brain straightened his tie. "I hate to admit it. I mean, really hate to..." Danny threw some shade Brain's way. "...but Daniel has a point." Danny growled at Brain's mention of "Daniel." "Just last week, a girl in France was hit on the head by a radioactive baseball. Now she is a superhero."

"Who makes a baseball radioactive?" Joe asked.

Brain coughed and smoothed out his lab coat.

Danny slipped the prototype of Brain's micro-bat back into his pocket. He changed the subject. "Plus, you used to do all sorts of weird things when we were growing up."

Joe put his hands on his hips. "Like what?"

"You could find things that no one else could. You spoke it that weird alien language. And the neighborhood dogs kept following you around. I'm telling ya..." He waved his hands like he was unveiling a new product. "...superhero."

Joe rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't remember any of that stuff.

"Ha!" said the moving mountain that is Tom Moneymaker as he "bumped" into Joe. "Joe? A superhero?" Muscle Man Tom gave Overweight Small-fry Joe a once over. "In what universe?" Tom let out another laugh before he and his henchman, Chris, turned to leave. Tom made sure to flip his mullet-like hair in Joe's face.

As the two bullies began talking about their schedule of Swirlies, Purple-Nurples, and Lunch Money Raids, Joe raised a clenched fist towards Tom. "Just once..." he said. And at that moment, Tom's shoelaces came undone and Tom tripped. Nearby students laughed as Chris helped his master up.

Joe stared at his fist. His hand glowed with a golden aura.

"Suuuuuper-heroooo," Danny whispered into Joe's ear.

***

I huffed while the holographic VR viewer pixelated. "That is so not how it happened!"

"What's wrong now, Joe?" said Sally. Her VR viewer vanished.

Around us were hundreds of others with their faces glued to their viewers. Sally and I'd been invited to the world premiere of Woke Up Super: The Joe Rover Story.

"I woke up in the hospital. Not my room. And I got chased by shadowy government agents."

"Calm down. Maybe one day you can tell how it really happened."

"Yeah, maybe I will." I then winked.

"Who are you winking at?"

"Not the readers, if that's what you mean." I winked again.

"Stop that. You're creeping me out."