What Are Feelings?
On a day like any other, the Androids walked amongst the humans. There wasn't much of a difference between the humans and the Androids. They all aged. They all listened to the same music. Drove the same cars. Ate the same foods. Spoke the same words. They were almost identical except for one thing.
Androids couldn't feel.
Sure, if you stabbed one, they would start screaming, they would experience pain, but they wouldn't feel scared. Androids could like things. Maybe one Android would like Fall Out Bot, but the other one would prefer the human equivalent, Fall Out Boy. But then again, the bands were very similar...
However, Androids were gifted with life and with a soul. They had to deal with "matters of consequence", they had to learn to read, learn to walk, learn to feed themselves. They made their own food chains, like iMac-Donald's where there was free wi-fi, coffee, and computers at every seat.
This iMac-Donald's is where Andy and Daisy met. Androids can't feel love, so they don't ever have to worry about romantic issues. Andy was an android who wanted to learn to program Androids, like himself, with the same chemical that humans had that let them feel emotions. Most Androids would pick on him or tell him that it was useless or a bad idea to let Androids feel emotions. Andy didn't care and would study the human brain and it just happened that a cool Autumn day he was in an iMac-Donald's. He was beginning to give up, since there was no way to make a synthetic version of the chemicals and he wouldn't kill a human just to harvest the chemical and feel.
"Damn... I thought I was so close... Well, at least I can become a psychologist... all my knowledge won't be for nothing..." He said as he pushed his chair out and stood up. He picked up his iced coffee and didn't see the girl. He spilled his iced coffee on her and the first horrible thought that went through his head was that he spilled iced coffee on an Android who wasn't waterproof.
"Damn! This was a new shirt too..." Said the girl, sighing and looking at Andy.
"I'm sorry Miss..." He said as he picked up all the napkins he had on his table and gave them to her.
"Oh well... At least I can convince my mom to let me wear my old ones, haha!" She said while trying to dry herself off, knowing that the iced coffee would stain the pastel purple flower pattern. As soon as Andy heard the word mom he knew she was a human. He sighed a bit knowing that he didn't possibly kill or short an Android.
"Yeah... Ha. Ha. Ha." He said, unaccustomed to the sensation of laughing.
"So, let me guess... You're an Android?" She said, taking a seat next to him. He felt uncomfortable next to her. He may not feel, but he knew that human boys would think this girl was beautiful. She had a dirty blonde bob with natural brown highlights. She had sun-darkened skin and a single green eye... Well, maybe if human boys could overlook that they would think she was beautiful. Her right eye was grass green, but her left eye was replaced by a green button rather than a glass eyeball or eyepatch. He was too busy looking at her eyes to notice that she was still talking.
"...And I see that you weren't listening to a single word I was saying." She said while smiling, closing her one good eye.
"Yeah, I have a button sewed into my left eye. I'm guessing that your robot curiosity wants to know how this happened, huh?" She said leaning back. She crossed her legs the way Tyler Joseph or Josh Dun would. Andy nodded his head yes. Remember, he couldn't feel embarrassed because he is a robot.
"Well, it's kind of a funny story, it's kind of a sad story, it's a really long story. But basically it's this, my mom was stalking this boy for most of his life and eventually forced him into a marriage he didn't want. They had one child, me, and my dad went insane and forced my eye out of it's socket when I was like, three. My mom was horrified when she walked in and saw me bleeding and my dad just screaming and crying with my eye in his hands. My mom eventually realized that she did something really wrong and divorced him. She got remarried, but didn't have any children. My mom didn't want to have to go to the hospital to get me all fixed up, so she just stuffed a bunch of tissues in there until it stopped bleeding and then sewed a button into my eye socket." She said. She hadn't realized how loud she was speaking and most of the people working there and the Androids had been listening and there were even a few people trying to hold back tears.
"Oh wow... um..." Andy said.
"Hey, you're cool and one of the only people/robots who don't care that I have a button for an eye. I'll give you my number and we can hang out another time. My name is Daisy Flames-Tamari. Give me your name and then we'll call each other or text or whatever when you get home or whenever." She said while scribbling a bunch of numbers on a paper. She gave Andy the paper and stood there, her button eye gleaming and her good eye sparkling. 'Flames is a suitable name... She has a flame burning inside her...' Andy thought to himself.
"My name is Andy..." He said. Being an Android meant no last name and no middle name. He was just very simply Andy, the Android who wants to feel. She said bye and ran out of the establishment. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he felt a renewed passion for trying to get emotions.
That night, he went home and texted her.
Andy smiled to himself. He was sure that he had made a friendship. He liked that she was so happy and bubbly and could appreciate everything the world had to offer although she had a perfectly reasonable excuse to be angry. Andy pushed his blonde bangs out of his eyes and was getting ready to enter sleep mode and recharge.
The next bunch of days, Andy would go to school and hang out with Daisy after school. They were in the same grade, but Andy went to school and Daisy was home schooled to minimize bullying. They both discussed what they wanted to do and Daisy thought that Andy trying to figure out the right chemicals to get robots to feel was beautiful.
"Feelings are wonderful things! Being able to love is incredible... It almost makes me want to cry that I'm living in a society where half the population can't love..." She said while holding Andy's hand. He tried so hard, he wanted to love her. He knew that if he had emotions, he would love her. Andy already thought she was beautiful and enjoyed her company. He just wished he could feel.
"Hey, I have an idea. How about, instead of focusing on all emotions at once, we'll just focus on one at a time, ok? Since Androids can feel happy and some very basic emotions, we'll start with love first. If we can somehow crack the most complicated emotion, the other ones will fall into place." Daisy said. Andy hadn't realized that she was still holding his hand. He got up and let go of her hand.
"Yes, we should do that... I don't know where we should start... We should try to find a happy couple..." He said. He looked at her and she nodded, but there was an almost disappointed look behind her eyes. He was confused, but didn't care. He was going to figure out this mystery.
They studied people for weeks and when they finally gathered enough data about the external emotion of love, they went online and looked up the chemical for feeling emotions. After many more weeks, the seasons had changed. It was no longer the cool autumn that had helped them find each other, but the harsh and hot summer. Andy couldn't go outside as much because he could overheat so he spent a lot of time indoor and he would hang out with Daisy less and less over summer. After many phone calls and Andy proving that he just graduated from high school, he got to go to His Creator's science lab to study and dissect an actual human brain. He took many notes and eventually got a job working there. Almost a full year had passed since Andy and Daisy first met. They hadn't spoken for almost two whole months. Andy was so close to figuring out the final ingredient in making the synthetic chemical for emotions to place in Androids. Andy had decided that he would try to call Daisy and share his news.
He was in his home and it was a very ugly day. It was raining, which meant no Androids would be going out for the rest of the days. He picked up his cell phone and found Daisy's contact and the last messages they sent to each other. He felt uneasy suddenly. He pressed the call button and heard the ringing.
"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice said.
"Um... Hello? Daisy?" He asked afraid he pressed the wrong contact or that Daisy changed her number.
"This is her mother..." The voice said very shakily. He realized that it sounded like the woman was crying.
"C...can I speak to Daisy?" He asked. There was silence on the other end.
"Is this a joke?" She said while sobbing.
"No... Where is Daisy?" He asked concerned.
"She's been gone for almost a week now. I know it's all your fault Andy." She said before she hung up. Andy stared straight ahead with a bunch of thoughts rushing through his head. He grabbed a bunch of plastic bags and an umbrella and decided that he would risk getting wet to find her. He didn't have any idea where she might be. He just decided that he'd go everywhere until he found her. He ran around the whole city, trying to dodge rain droplets like they were bullets and he had human flesh. He ran through the whole town screaming her name. Some other girls looked up and he would have to tell them he was looking for someone else. He asked everyone he passed and no one gave him any information. He went to the park that they had gone a few times. He walked to the edge and saw the dense forest. He held his breath and walked through the trees, feeling leaves and branches break and pull at his umbrella and at the plastic he was covering himself in. He eventually gave up, and in the dense downpour, he ran through the trees, feeling himself begin to short. He screamed her name and his vocal processors were getting muddled up and sounding less smooth. He eventually found a tree to sit by. It was tall and he remembered Daisy and himself sitting under it a few days after they first met. He sat under the tree but saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and saw that it was Daisy. He couldn't quite see her because the water in his head was sloshing around behind his eyes and frying him. He did notice that something was wrong. She was hanging limply swinging back and forth in the strong gale. He stood up and stumbled over to his friend. He saw a bottle with a piece of paper inside. 'She was smart enough to put it in a bottle if it rained...' he thought while picking up the bottle with the note inside and reading it. It wasn't very long and it was very simple language.
"Love is more than a feeling or a chemical. Love is liking someone enough to be with them."
He began to feel sadness. He was shocked by the experience. Then he remembered reading something that Androids could "feel" emotions right before their systems fail. He peeled the rubber skin off his finger and with the sharp metal edges of his joints, cut her down and collapsed holding her. He didn't know what love was. But he the last words he said before he died were.
"I love you, Daisy..."
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