The rain steadily pelted against the windshield as Lucy and Holden drove in what could only be described as an uncomfortable silence.

"So, you and Dillon, huh?" Holden asked Lucy as she concentrated on the movement of the windshield wipers.

"Me and Dillon?" Lucy repeated, not understanding.

"You know...when the cat's away the mouse will play. My cousin told me you had a boyfriend."

Lucy scoffed. "My boyfriend Jake knows I'm friends with Dillon. Besides, I don't think of Dillon in that way."

"In what way?" Holden smiled.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "You know what way since you suggested it earlier. I was in a bind and I needed some help. Jake's out of town so I called Dillon. Not that it's any of your business."

"What kind of bind?"

"The 'none of your business' kind," Lucy retorted.

"Aren't we being feisty this evening? I just asked an innocent question." Holden turned towards the road leading to Lucy's house.

"Somehow, I doubt that."

"You do spend a lot of time with your friend Dillon. As a man, I wouldn't want my girlfriend spending time with anyone else while I'm away." Holden shrugged.

"Is that so? Does your girlfriend know you're alone with me?"

Holden smirked. "No."

"I didn't think so," Lucy muttered. "Thank you for the concern, but my relationship with Jake isn't part of your investigation."

"See? You're always giving mixed signals," Holden accused her.

"Mixed signals?"

"Yeah. I thought we were friends. Remember? We made cookie monster cupcakestogether. Now, you're telling me to mind my own business. I'm not going to lie, Lucy. My feelings are a little hurt." Holden was clearly being over-dramatic, causing Lucy to laugh.

"I thought you had to pass some kind of psychological test to become a detective," Lucy said.

"What was that?"

Lucy shook her head. "Nothing. Thanks for the ride." She didn't give him a chance to speak as she quickly opened the door and ran in the rain to her house.

Once she stepped inside, she took a deep breath. Getting through that car ride had been difficult and not because Holden asked her uncomfortable questions. She shivered and exhaled slowly.

After making sure her doors were locked, she ran upstairs to take a hot shower.

She wrapped a towel around her wet hair before she padded to the study and took out the green journal.

10/24

Salutations my dear friend. I am afraid I do not have good news. My heart is heavy and I fear that it shall soon fall from my chest and be trampled upon. Do not ask why as I shall explain soon enough. Today I could not wait to see my Grace at the park. My body itched to be close to her. I found myself waiting outside her home in the early morning hours. Perhaps you will chastise me for not sleeping. Do not worry, my friend. I was too enamored with thoughts of my Grace that sleep escaped me.

She did not visit the park today but that is not the bad news. No, the news that hurts me...that makes me feel as though my soul is on fire...is that she was visited today by another man.

I must calm myself. Perhaps he is a relative. He must be. What kind of fate must I have to finally discover a light in the darkness...only to discover that light was for someone else? Impossible!

In my mind I have already imagined my Grace knowing everything about me. I am even able to tell her about you, my friend. And all our secrets. Do not be jealous. This is something I have always dreamed of. To find the special person who will accept me for who I am despite what others think. Do not assume I am ignorant in the constructs of society. The beast that dwells within me makes it impossible for most to see me as acceptable. Grace will be different. I can feel it. She has to be. Fate is on my side.

As for this man who is visiting her, I will deal with him accordingly. He is not worthy of my Grace. You may ask why and the answer is simple. He is not me.

I shall keep you updated.

Yours until death, O

Lucy took a deep breath as she pondered what O had written. Not being acceptable in the eyes of society. Hadn't she felt that way not too long ago? When she was attending court for her accident caused by her alcoholism, she felt misunderstood.

"Maybe he's feeling insecure too," Lucy murmured.

She remembered the judge yelling at her in disgust, "Only weak people depend on alcohol. Do you know how many people get killed by drunk drivers? What excuse do you have?" The look of revulsion on his face still haunted her.

After the hearing, Jake hugged her and tried to comfort her by reminding her the judge was one of the strictest in the county and treated everyone with contempt. At the time, Lucy laughed it off. She knew she made a mistake, but she couldn't help but feel a layer of her self-confidence had been torn off.

In the back of her mind, she always wondered if Jake thought she was weak too since she'd been unable to control her alcoholism. She had always been too afraid of bringing it up. What if that was all he needed to start the conversation of him wanting to leave her?

Lucy couldn't help but feel a little sorry for O. She knew it was wrong to feel sorry for a murderer but maybe he just needed someone to love him. To accept him. Maybe that's why he became a killer in the first place. Because no one helped him raise the beast with love.

Lucy put the journal away and walked upstairs. She stared at her reflection in her vanity mirror and sighed. "You have problems, Lucy."

She closed her eyes and replayed what happened that night. She shuddered.

"Who was that man?" Lucy wondered aloud. "Was it O?"

If she had known with certainty it was O, would she still have run away? Lucy wasn't sure.

She thought of the woman at the park and the man who had been watching her. Was that the same man in the home of the Forester Estate?

Lucy wondered if the woman at the park would return the next day. Probably not. It had been raining. The park's grounds would still be damp.

The following day, Lucy found herself at the park again.

"What am I doing here?" Lucy asked herself as she walked around the almost empty park. She made her way towards the art school. Lucy wanted to see if the woman known as Grace would be there.

"I'm getting as bad as O," she muttered to herself as she turned around to leave the park. That's when she saw her. The woman from before was setting down some art supplies on a nearby bench. Lucy couldn't help but recall O's use of the word fate. Perhaps it was fate for Lucy to meet Grace.

Lucy found herself walking towards the dark-haired woman.

"Excuse me," Lucy called out, causing the woman to look her way.

The woman looked around to make sure Lucy was talking to her. "Can I help you?"

Lucy nodded. "I was wondering if you attended the art school nearby." Lucy panicked and that was the first thing that she could think of to spark a conversation.

The woman nodded. "How did you know?"

"The art supplies gave it away."

The woman laughed awkwardly.

"I'm Lucy, by the way."

"Hello, Lucy." The woman smiled. Lucy waited for the woman to share her name but she continued to set up her art supplies.

"Anyway," Lucy continued, "I have a friend that used to attend. She said it was a lot of fun. She made a lot of friends. Tommy, George, Grace...do you know any of them?"

The woman turned around and gave a weak smile. "I'm sorry I don't."

"Not even Grace?"

The woman shook her head. Lucy didn't see a smidge of recognition in her face. "How long have you been attending the art school?"

The woman sighed. "Listen. Not to be rude but I came here to work on my art. Not to get hit on."

"Hit on?" Lucy asked, shocked.

"Yeah, female artists being lesbians is just a stereotype."

Lucy couldn't believe this woman thought she was hitting on her. "I'm not a lesbian. I just wanted to know if you knew Grace."

"Why?"

"To invite her to my friend's birthday party. She'd be really surprised."

The woman looked at Lucy suspiciously. "I don't know Grace."

"She attended this art school a few years back."

"A few years back?" The woman's eyebrows furrowed together as she thought back. "I know a Grace did attend this school. There was a big hoopla about her a few years ago."

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked, grateful that the woman wasn't treating her like some kind of creep anymore.

"Wel, she died."

"What?"

The woman nodded. "That's right. She died. Well, not exactly. She was murdered."

Lucy felt like a ton of bricks had hit her. "What did you say?"

"She was murdered. I had just started going to school here when it happened. Sorry."

"So, you're not Grace?" Lucy finally asked.

The woman looked taken aback. "No. My name is Caroline."

Lucy nodded and walked away, feeling like an idiot. Of course the woman wasn't Grace. That would have been too easy.

"I must've misheard someone calling her Grace the other day. But murdered?" Lucy still couldn't believe it.

She thought about the man who had been watching Caroline in the park the other day. Had that really been O? Was Caroline his new target? What really happened with Grace? She looked at her phone to check the time and headed back home to read the next journal entry. Perhaps it would give her some insight into what really happened with Grace.

Lucy took the bus home. As she got off of the bus, her phone rang. It was Donna.

"Oh crap! I forgot all about the garage sale!"

Lucy didn't answer the phone. Shame filled her. She had been so wrapped up in her quest to find  information about O that she forgot her promise to help Donna at the garage sale. She'd have to think of a really good excuse.

Once she had arrived home, she took out the journal and read the next entry.

10/25

I am too angry to say hello. I could not control the beast today for I have been betrayed. After leaving you yesterday, I returned to the home of Grace and what I discovered was shocking. Unimaginable for the weak.

Suffice it to say that the man who visited Grace is no brother. Nor is he a relative or a friend. He is a vile man who touched Grace in ways that he should not have. The beast was riled by his boldness. How dare he touch what was ours?

I shall not tell a lie, my friend. I did enter the home of Grace to discover if the man was her brother. I was already inside when they returned from what I can now surmise was a date.

A couple in lust never notices what is around them. I stood in the shadows, watching them.

The beast inside me roared as they kissed. My blood blazed as I witnessed him touch Grace in ways only I should be allowed to. How dare he caress and kiss the skin that belongs to me! To only blame him would be too easy. Grace, that bitch, was just as guilty. She was not pure. She was not innocent. She lied to me and fooled me into thinking that she would save me.

I was eager to leave but the beast would not allow it. They must be punished for making a fool out of me.

While they were in the throes of passion, the beast wielded his knife and stopped their conniving ways.

For a moment, I felt sorry for Grace. She was surprised and pretended not to recognize me.

"Who are you?" she screamed after I slit the throat of her lover. How dare that adulteress ask me such a question?

Who am I? Truth be told my friend...I do not know. Am I the beast? Is the beast me? I fear I can no longer control it. Perhaps taming the beast is not meant to be. Perhaps I am destined for a life of living as someone I am not. A life in hiding. A life of fear. The idea of finding someone who I can trust with all my secrets seems improbable. Oh, how I wish someone would find me and save me from myself. Grace is gone. As we speak, she is now bathing in a pool of her own blood. Her lover beside her.

Meanwhile, I sit alone with you, my friend. Waiting to be freed from the burden that is the beast. Where is my light in this darkness? When shall it beckon to me? Perhaps I wait in vain.

Yours until death, O

A ball of dread filled her stomach. He killed her. Someone he claimed to love, he had killed.

"No, this can't be true," Lucy told herself.

But, why would he lie?

She closed the journal and put it away. Her phone rang and Lucy answered.

"Lucy, where were you?"

"Hi, Donna. I'm so sorry. I've been sick all day. I couldn't even answer my phone," Lucy lied.

"Holden told me you got caught in the rain yesterday. Did you need me to bring over some soup?" Donna asked.

"No, that's okay. I just need to stay in bed. Sorry again about missing the garage sale."

"Don't worry about it, Lucy. Just take care of yourself."

After Lucy disconnected the call with Donna, she sat outside and dipped her feet into the pool as she thought about everything she'd read in the journal and the dangerous stunts she had pulled.

"What's wrong with me?" She wondered if her self-control was spiraling away from her and whether she'd become too obsessed with O's journal.

"Lucy!"

His voice cut though her thoughts as she called back out to him, "Jake?"

Lucy watched as the man she loved joined her outside. "What are you doing out here, babe?"

"Just thinking. You got home early."

"Yeah, I was speeding so I could see you sooner."

Lucy smiled as Jake leaned in to kiss her. "I missed you, Lucy."

"I missed you too," she whispered.

A part of her felt as though she were lying. She had been too busy thinking about O to miss him. Another part of her embraced his company. Jake kept her sane. He loved her. At least he said he did.  She loved him and she didn't want to lose him. As Jake helped her up, Lucy made a promise to herself that she would no longer be obsessed with the journal.

Tomorrow she would tell someone about the journal.