CHAPTER 7:

BACK TO YOU.
Arcadia

I smiled at the wildflowers in the fields, picking the roses and gathering them inside of a vase before walking along the bridge of my castle.

"Are you starting to remember?" Morpheus greeted me with his hands behind his back, a more pleasant aura around him than the first time we met.

"Yes. I moved into this realm with the man I loved, and I met him at a ball where. . .I think I was nervous, but when he appeared, it was like a night breeze flooded in and I felt calm," The way I described my lover made me miss him and the face I could never see. The way his cold hands held me, the way we danced for what felt like hours, and all I felt was comfort with him. I know Morpheus brought me these dreams to keep me sane, but it seemed like remembering the home that I lived in brought me sadness.

"I remember meeting my wife," His face was welcomed by a small smile that told me he was a man in love and a man who treasured his wife dearly.

"I know she dearly misses you," I expressed, "you're a good man."

"She passed away," he said, his jaw clenching as he looked to the side.

"Oh. . .what was she like? I don't like saying sorry because it just feels pitiful, and hearing others repeat it just makes one feel worse. At least, that's how I feel," I liked talking about how I missed my family. Nemesis, from what I understood, was the sister I was closest with but in general all of my siblings loved me. Eris, despite her chaos, was protective of me and warned me against greedy Gods who would seek my hand for power. Even my brother, Hypnos, often visited me in this realm with gifts. We stood outside on one of the balconies, enjoying the air.

"She was a happy person. Even when we met, she was smiling away how she truly felt, and I only ever wanted that smile for myself. She was a wonder to me and my people with her generosity but knew how to defend our home from others who sought to take it. All I ever wanted was for her to be mine, but. . ." He looked at me with sadness and. . .and grief. He put his hand on mine and even though it was cold, it was nice.

"I have been hurt before, and in my own fear, I pushed her away. I said that I never loved her, but that is not true. I only did so-I just. . ." His whole body was trembling, his eyes screaming as he stared at the ground. So, I moved my hand from his and instead held out my arms. He glanced at me before almost pushing me over as he accepted the embrace.

"She died before I got the chance to apologize," He choked out, his voice shaky as his arms encircling my frame and his hands clenching at the back of my dress. 

Like I would vanish if he let go.

"It is not what most wish to hear, but in her last moments, our lives flash before our eyes. I know she saw the most beautiful parts of your lives together," he pulled away, his hands coming to cup my face and my eyes widened.

"Morpheus?"

"I wish I could take it all back," he said to me, and I started to panic.

"Morpheus, why are you telling me this?"

"She died with our baby."

It was as if the flip in my brain had finally been turned on. He knew this castle, he knew the fields that I had recalled before, he knew that I had a memory recalling that I was told that I was pregnant. 

And his voice. Just how stupid was I to not know it? How protective he was, how much I felt his love with every step I took like I was his universe and the galaxies that surrounded it?

"Where did you bury her?"

His hands slowly removed themselves from my face as if he knew what he had just done.

"Morpheus, where am I buried?" 

And suddenly, we were there. It was the same field as before but now it was desolate. No grass, no flowers, no trees and the waterfall just vanished. Just dirt and a headstone with something that made my heart break.

Arcadia, loving wife and generous daughter

Our baby, who will always be loved

"And her name was Arcadia," I turned to him, "why? You knew that I wanted to know who I was. Why keep this from me?!"

"I did not wish to force an obligation onto you. I did not know if you were reborn or the same woman whom I loved," Now I knew why he did not dare to look before. He was terrified of leading the same life with me and that if he looked at me, he might fall all over again.

"Force what? A personality?"

"That you owed me anything."

"How did I die? I am owed that," If I died once, surely it could happen again? How? Why? I'm a Goddess, someone who is meant to be immortal, so how did I manage to die?

"You were worried for your mother, after Zeus declared that he would no longer fear her. He threatened to kill her, but Nyx is strong. Yet you were worried, and it occurred after our. . .after the fight, you ran to her aid. . ." He looked away, tears ready to spring from his eyes once again as he forced them back.

"I found your corpse, and. . ." He could barely look me in the eye, and I grabbed his face in my hands.

"I'm alive. I'm here, and I will not make that mistake again," he grabbed my wrists and pulled them away.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't make me think you're the same woman," he said in a whisper, his eyes trailing to my lips. Although I felt how my heart jumped and how warm his gaze made my body feel, I did want to make any mistakes.

His hands let go of my wrists, perhaps having the same thoughts as me, and took his gaze from me.

"It was Zeus. Zeus killed you, but we. . .we could not prove it. So, he's free and alive, yet you suffered and with no evidence, he is free. It took everything within me and your family to prevent me from killing him and watch as life leaves his eyes. Watch him suffer and feel as you did," He shook with anger, his eyes on the grave.

"I am sorry you had to go through such grief. How. . .how long have I been dead?" I carefully asked, not wishing to bring him any more pain.

"You don't have to answer. I know it may be difficult, but I-"

"A thousand years."

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Zeus made the threat of killing Nyx because he knew it was lure in Arcadia, and he killed her because he feared she would be stronger than Nyx.