tw / / mature scene

"Mommy, I have a question."

I lifted my eyes to my child who's now finished drinking her milk. I closed my laptop and made her sit on my lap.

I wiped the leftover milk on her lips, "What is it, baby?"

"I have a Daddy, right?"

I stiffened. Nanigas ang buong katawan ko nang marinig 'yon galing sa anak ko. She's only five years old and this is her first time asking about her father.

I cleared my throat and played with her fingers, "Yes, baby. You'll not be born if you don't have a d-daddy."

"Then, he loves me?"

Sumakit ang puso ko nang masilayan ang pag-asa sa mata n'ya.

"Of course, Daddy loves you so much."

She clapped, 'Yehey! So can we meet him, Mommy?"

"Y-yes, soon. I promise."

My daughter deserves to know her father. Ayoko man na makita ulit ang lalaking naging mundo ko, para nalang sa anak ko. Hindi ko ipagkakait na makilala n'ya ang ama n'ya... Kahit pa he's now happy with his family. Even if he's already married to someone close to my heart.

"I'm happy you found your new solace..." I whispered while scrolling on his Facebook account.

He found his new consolation in distress while I'm still stuck with our memories.

--

Maganda ako pero malandi. Maganda ako pero walang respeto sa nakakatanda. Maganda ako pero hindi matalino kagaya ng mga kapatid. Maganda ako pero ikinahihiya ng pamilya. Maganda ako pero masama ang ugali.

"I asked you to describe yourself and not to fucking insult!"

"What? I'm describing myself."

Reni shook his head out of disbelief. Kinuha n'ya ang notebook sa akin at pinunit ang isinulat ko.

"I will describe you instead!" Inis siyang tumingin sa akin. I only shrugged.

That's how I described myself and that's how others describe me as well. I was known for being a slut. Anak ng pastor ngunit hubadera at malandi. Anak ng values teacher pero walang respeto sa nakakatanda. Kapatid ng matatalino pero bobo. A family of achievers but a disappointment.

I know I was being called like that but I don't bother to correct them. Why would I correct them if they're telling the truth? At nagsasayang lang ako ng oras sa kanila. They're busy minding my world while I'm busy doing the things I love.

"Nga pala, are you going with us later?" Reni suddenly asked.

"Malamang! Tinatanong pa ba 'yan?" I smirked.

"Pinayagan ka?"

"Even if they don't allow me, I'll still go."

Shai scoffed, "Of course, you are Laura Solace."

Humalakhak kaming dalawa ni Reni.

"How about you, Shai?" Reni asked. Shaira shook her head. Kahit hindi n'ya sabihin ay alam naman namin na hindi siya papayagan.

We only want to invite her so she wouldn't feel uninvited or make herself an outcast.

"Try mo kayang tumakas," I joked.

Pabiro akong hinampas ni Reni sa braso. Pabiro pero masakit!

"I'll escape tapos wala na akong babalikan."

I just shook my head and patted her head. She will not experience the true meaning of youth if she'll let her parents control her life. Hindi na siya bata para diktahan at matalino naman si Shaira. She knows her limitations. I don't know if her parents are overprotective of her or they don't have trust in their daughter. Kung ano man sa dalawa, wala pa rin silang karapatan na kunin ang kalayaan ng anak nila.

I didn't attend my last class. Umuwi agad ako sa amin para mag handa ng isusuot mamaya. I heard a group of people singing a worship song when I entered the house.

"Mahal na mahal kita Panginoon. Kailanma'y 'di kita ipagpapalit. Pagkat sa piling mo'y langit. Mahal na mahal kita Panginoon."

Napatigil ako. I don't know what's going on inside our house but the church's elders together with my father are having a praise and worship service. I shrugged and went to the back door instead pero kahit sa likod ako dumaan ay nakita pa rin ako ni Tatay dahil ang kwarto ko ay nasa second floor pa at ang hagdanan ay malapit lang sa pwesto nila.

Tumango lang ako sa kan'ya and acted like I didn't notice what they're doing, if that's even possible because they're too obvious.

Tatay was about to call me when I locked the door of my room. I know that he will make me join. Pagod ako at gusto kong mag pahinga bago ako lumandi mamaya.

I took a nap until I heard a knock.

"What?" I asked as soon as I opened the door. I don't like someone disturbing my sleep.

"Why are you here already? Wala ba kayong pasok, Anak?" Tatay asked.

"Free cut," sabay sarado ko ng pinto. I heard him sigh from the outside.

Imbes na matulog ulit ay naligo nalang ako. I can't return to sleep since someone disturb me. Nawala na ang antok ko.

I picked a black cropped top sleeveless and high-waisted shorts. I put necklace and earrings so I'll look more extra later and curled my short hair. Hinayaan ko lang itong bumagsak. Nang makitang maayos na ang suot ko ay kinuha ko ang cellphone at wallet.

I was about to go when I remember something, "I almost forgot!"

I opened my cabinet and got 5 condoms with different flavors. Just in case na walang dala ang mga lalaki mamaya. I smirked and went down.

Napaungol ako nang makita si Tatay sa living room. He noticed my presence so he slowly lifted his gaze towards my direction.

"I'll go. Uuwi rin ako mamaya."

"Saan?"

"Same place as usual. Club."

He sighed, "Kailangan ba talagang pumunta ka roon, Anak? You can stay here and watch some movies or we can go to church and I'll teach you how to play piano. You want to try piano, right?"

Kumunot ang noo ko, "I don't like either of the two."

Hindi siya nakasagot.

"Alis na ako."

Saktong paglabas ko ng bahay ay ang pagpasok ng nakakabata kong kapatid. She looked at me while I ignored her presence. Nagmamadali ako. I'm almost late!

"Sexy! As always, Laura Solace."

A loud sound, smoke, smell of liquor, and crowded place welcomed me. Parang nakawala sa kulungan ang mga tao kakasayaw. They were enjoying as if this will be the last they'll go to a club.

Nakipag-appear ako sa mga kakilala at dumiretso sa table kung nasaan ang mga kaibigan. Reni is sitting with his boyfriend while the others are just simply drinking. Hindi ko na makita ang iba dahil baka nasa dance floor na ang mga 'yon at naghahanap ng mabibiktima.

"Ano ang pinunta natin rito? Inuman o landian?" bungad ko.

Reni rolled his eyes at me while his boyfriend only smirked. Inismidan ko silang dalawa.

"Bakit wala kang dalang lalaki ngayon, Laura Solace? Totoo ang pagbabago!"

"Gago. Mamaya na. Iinom muna ako para mas lalong ganahan sa kama."

They all laughed. My eyes caught Jerly's back. We're not close but I know her. I think she's two years older than me. She's holding a cigarette in her right hand while she used her left hand to drink. Hindi bagay ang pagiging lasingera sa mala anghel n'yang mukha.

She noticed that someone is looking at her that's why she turned her head at the back. She raised her brows at me. I shrugged her off and went to the dance floor.

"Hi, sexy lady," a guy dance with me. He's on my back that's why I can feel his chest.

Idiniin ko ang sarili sa kanya. I heard him groan. I smirked and guided my butt on his thing. Naramdaman ko ang unti-unting paglaki nito.

"Fuck. You're so hot," ang kan'yang kamay ay lumakbay sa aking leeg patungo sa aking dibdib.

I faced him and kissed his lips. We were kissing when his hand cupped my breast.

"Ahhh!" ungol ko.

Binitawan n'ya ako at may ibinulong, "Parking lot."

I understood the assignment. Sumunod ako sa kan'ya. Dumaan ako sa table namin and saw Reni and his boyfriend were left alone. I arched a brow when I saw Reni's hand slowly going Inside the guy's pants.

"Pokpok!" sigaw ko. Bahagya siyang nagulat sa sigaw ko. I only laughed when he raised a middle finger to me.

It took me a while to get to the parking lot because many acquaintances talked to me. Mabilis akong sinunggaban ng halik ng lalaki nang makalapit ako sa kan'ya.

"F-fuck! Tangina."

The guy is now kneeling in front of me and licking my folds. My body was in synch with the movements of his lips

"S-shit. I'm coming."

Mas lalong bumilis ang paggalaw ng dila n'ya sa loob ko. I weakened when I reached my peaks.

"We're not done yet," he said while removing his belt.

"Are you safe?" I asked.

I love sex but I care about my health and safety!

"Yeah," sagot n'ya sabay pasok ng kan'ya sa akin.

Napaupo ako sa sahig nang matapos kami. Tatlong beses akong nilabasan sa loob nang tatlumpong minuto! My legs are shaking as well as my soul.

"You can now leave," utos ko.

"What?"

"Bingi ka ba? Sabi ko, pwede ka ng umalis."

He stared at me unbelievably, "That's it? You're only up for sex?"

Natawa ako nang bahagya, "Malamang?! That's the goal why teenagers visit this place. To have sex! Alangan namang mag praise and worship tayo rito?"

He shook his head as if he couldn't believe what I said and left. I rolled my eyes. I rested for a while and stood up but a shadow of a man showed up. My forehead creased when he bumped at me. He didn't look back to say sorry!

I clicked my tongue, "Hoy!"

I was surprised when he stopped walking and his legs were freaking shaking!

I gulped and slowly walked in front of me. Mas lalo akong nabigla nang makita kung sino 'yon.

"Dawn?"

He's one of the staff in our church. Napadako ang mata ko sa alak na hawak n'ya.

"A servant of God holding a beer?" I teased but he didn't laugh.

His hands and feet are still shaking. He is sweating so bad, too. Kinabahan ako sa kan'ya at lumapit.

"Are you fine?" I was about to hold his hand when he shoved it away.

"Stop! Don't hold me!" nanginginig n'yang sabi.

I bit my lips and observed him.

"Wala akong gagawing masama sa 'yo," tanging nasabi ko para pakalmahin siya dahil sa itsura n'ya ay parang may humahabal na masasamang tao sa kan'ya.

He looked at me. Nagulat siya nang makilala ako. I looked at his hands and they're not shaking anymore.

"A-ace."

I smiled, "Ako nga."

Bigla siyang nataranta. I laughed a bit and held his hands. This time, he didn't shoved my hands anymore. Natulala lang ito sa aming kamay.

"Don't worry. I won't tell my father that I saw his staff at a club. Ang relihiyosong lalaki ay may hawak na alfonso."